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trapped mouse posted:So today I learned that "gently caress her right in the pussy" was completely made up by one dude who created a series of hoax news bloopers drat it. 
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Jun 19, 2015 07:42
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Jun 20, 2015 05:43
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CJacobs posted:drat it. Don't worry, there will always be dumbshit copycats and imitators to fill the void!
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Jun 20, 2015 12:39
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It was a big mistake to change his first name to Adolf tho
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Jun 20, 2015 12:49
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Jun 22, 2015 02:58
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This story started out funny but is actually kind of sad. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...utterknife.html
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Jun 24, 2015 03:54
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quote:He returned to his flat and barricaded the door after they called the police and he was involved in a stand-off before he had to be Tasered twice, with police worried they would hit his colostomy bag. quote:Salter-Bromley exposed himself and spread excrement and urine in Hull's Wilson centre in the main reception and toilets and he was given an Asbo for a string of nuisance calls to emergency services. quote:"He said in the bus incident the woman admitted she had not felt threatened. The knife was only a butter knife, which was blunt and only slightly serrated," he said. "His physical state is poor. He once tried to kill himself and broke his back. 
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Jun 24, 2015 15:07
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My brain came up with a variety of answers for what sort of object an "Asbo" might be before I got around to looking it up. Cane? Weapon? Protective helmet? Brand of telephone? 
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Jun 24, 2015 16:24
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pookel posted:My brain came up with a variety of answers for what sort of object an "Asbo" might be before I got around to looking it up. Cane? Weapon? Protective helmet? Brand of telephone? A piece of paper: Anti Social behavior order
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Jun 24, 2015 16:31
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I like how the article had a photo of Dr. Who with a Dalek in case you needed to be reminded of what that looked like before imagining an angry dwarf spitting dominoes and screaming "EXTERMINATE!" It really added a lot to the piece.
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Jun 24, 2015 17:06
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This guy needs to be booked on Howard Stern, stat.
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Jun 24, 2015 17:37
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pookel posted:My brain came up with a variety of answers for what sort of object an "Asbo" might be before I got around to looking it up. Cane? Weapon? Protective helmet? Brand of telephone? Also what brits call the Ford Focus.
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Jun 24, 2015 19:26
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Karma Monkey posted:I like how the article had a photo of Dr. Who with a Dalek in case you needed to be reminded of what that looked like before imagining an angry dwarf spitting dominoes and screaming "EXTERMINATE!" It really added a lot to the piece. I like that it's the Peter Capaldi Doctor so I can imagine Malcolm Tucker screaming at a dwarf with a mouth full of dominoes
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Jun 24, 2015 19:30
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Henchman of Santa posted:I like that it's the Peter Capaldi Doctor so I can imagine Malcolm Tucker screaming at a dwarf with a mouth full of dominoes I would watch this as a show. 
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Jun 24, 2015 21:34
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Henchman of Santa posted:I like that it's the Peter Capaldi Doctor so I can imagine Malcolm Tucker screaming at a dwarf with a mouth full of dominoes Your post & username combo are giving me a great idea for the next Doctor Who Christmas special 
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Jun 25, 2015 01:44
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Jun 25, 2015 05:08
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poo poo, I'd be surprised to see Laura Palmer too
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Jun 25, 2015 08:48
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What are today's headlines? The Beeb's commentary on this one is great: quote:The Daily Star continues its fascination with European sightings of the Pacu - the "testicle-biting" fish usually found in the Amazon. In a frankly unconnected front page picture, they show David and Brooklyn Beckham out fishing off the Dorset coast. It should be noted that biologists will tell you that Pacu have a vegetarian diet. In fact, there are two great front pages today: 
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Jun 26, 2015 09:09
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Wheat Loaf posted:What are today's headlines? Beckham's son's name is Brooklyn?
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Jun 26, 2015 09:12
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Jun 26, 2015 09:13
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Wheat Loaf posted:What are today's headlines? Never change Britain.
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Jun 26, 2015 13:13
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Postal Parcel posted:Beckham's son's name is Brooklyn? Yeah, the rumour was that they named him that because that's apparently where he was conceived. It's also why a lot of kids in Glasgow are named AlleyBehindtheNightclub.
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Jun 26, 2015 15:42
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Weren't Sarah Palin's kids named the same way, or was that just a big joke?
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Jun 26, 2015 20:42
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Jun 26, 2015 20:43
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I love the way "misjudged own girth" is in inverted commas in the title as if it's a quote from the hedgehog.
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Jun 27, 2015 01:29
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Jun 27, 2015 02:36
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Laura Palmer, no! Not again! 
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Jun 27, 2015 16:54
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Funny, that's a clip from the local station here, must have been 25 years ago now. That anchor is still working there, she's head of production now. It's weird to see her popping up in this thread, since she's my cousin. I have good news, though. That gum you like is going to come back in style
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Jun 27, 2015 17:07
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Istari posted:I love the way "misjudged own girth" is in inverted commas in the title as if it's a quote from the hedgehog. It's clearly a dastardly trap laid by the nefarious Dr Robotnik.
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Jun 27, 2015 17:31
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Istari posted:I love the way "misjudged own girth" is in inverted commas in the title as if it's a quote from the hedgehog. It was a quote from the Suffolk Fire and Rescue Inspector. It's a cute story.  "They did a brilliant job," he said. - may have been quoting the hedgehog though.
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Jun 27, 2015 17:55
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Jun 28, 2015 04:52
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Good dog
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Jun 28, 2015 10:32
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I for one welcome our new arachnid overlords.
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Jun 28, 2015 13:43
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Nastyman posted:I for one welcome our new arachnid overlords. BOO THIS MAN!
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Jun 28, 2015 14:07
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Clearly what happened was the spider saw that the fly was in the shot and was ushering him offscreen. The fly is always doing boneheaded stuff like that and the spider is a consummate TV news professional. 
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Jun 28, 2015 17:24
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So, is that a MASSIVE spider, or is it the camera (or whatever) messing with perspective?
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Jun 28, 2015 18:14
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The spider is on the lens of the rooftop camera that films the city. The presenter is in front of a green screen in a studio.
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Jun 28, 2015 18:55
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Wheat Loaf posted:So, is that a MASSIVE spider, or is it the camera (or whatever) messing with perspective? The start of the apocalypse is when Satan's favored animal, spiders, start attacking the populace.
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Jun 28, 2015 19:03
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Someone please find the version where this happened to a weather girl and she flips out and leaves the screen.
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Jun 29, 2015 01:37
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Wheat Loaf posted:So, is that a MASSIVE spider, or is it the camera (or whatever) messing with perspective? usually, when news presenters are in front of a cityscape, they're in front of a greenscreen in the basement. a spider got on the camera they were using for the city shot. that's it.
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Jun 29, 2015 01:45
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