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CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!

trapped mouse posted:

So today I learned that "gently caress her right in the pussy" was completely made up by one dude who created a series of hoax news bloopers

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuck_her_right_in_the_pussy

This is a sad day

drat it. :negative:

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Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

GenericOverusedName
Nov 24, 2009

KUVA TEAM EPIC

CJacobs posted:

drat it. :negative:

Don't worry, there will always be dumbshit copycats and imitators to fill the void!

Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax

It was a big mistake to change his first name to Adolf tho

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

AnonymousNarcotics
Aug 6, 2012

we will go far into the sea
you will take me
onto your back
never look back
never look back
This story started out funny but is actually kind of sad.



http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...utterknife.html

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010

quote:

He returned to his flat and barricaded the door after they called the police and he was involved in a stand-off before he had to be Tasered twice, with police worried they would hit his colostomy bag.

quote:

Salter-Bromley exposed himself and spread excrement and urine in Hull's Wilson centre in the main reception and toilets and he was given an Asbo for a string of nuisance calls to emergency services.

quote:

"He said in the bus incident the woman admitted she had not felt threatened. The knife was only a butter knife, which was blunt and only slightly serrated," he said. "His physical state is poor. He once tried to kill himself and broke his back.
:stare:

pookel
Oct 27, 2011

Ultra Carp
My brain came up with a variety of answers for what sort of object an "Asbo" might be before I got around to looking it up. Cane? Weapon? Protective helmet? Brand of telephone? :confused:

SpannerX
Apr 26, 2010

I had a beer with Stephen Harper once and now I like him.

Fun Shoe

pookel posted:

My brain came up with a variety of answers for what sort of object an "Asbo" might be before I got around to looking it up. Cane? Weapon? Protective helmet? Brand of telephone? :confused:

A piece of paper: Anti Social behavior order

Karma Monkey
Sep 6, 2005

I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS
I like how the article had a photo of Dr. Who with a Dalek in case you needed to be reminded of what that looked like before imagining an angry dwarf spitting dominoes and screaming "EXTERMINATE!" It really added a lot to the piece.

Chicken Butt
Oct 27, 2010
This guy needs to be booked on Howard Stern, stat.

Some Pinko Commie
Jun 9, 2009

CNC! Easy as 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣!

pookel posted:

My brain came up with a variety of answers for what sort of object an "Asbo" might be before I got around to looking it up. Cane? Weapon? Protective helmet? Brand of telephone? :confused:

Also what brits call the Ford Focus.

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010

Karma Monkey posted:

I like how the article had a photo of Dr. Who with a Dalek in case you needed to be reminded of what that looked like before imagining an angry dwarf spitting dominoes and screaming "EXTERMINATE!" It really added a lot to the piece.

I like that it's the Peter Capaldi Doctor so I can imagine Malcolm Tucker screaming at a dwarf with a mouth full of dominoes

Karma Monkey
Sep 6, 2005

I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

Henchman of Santa posted:

I like that it's the Peter Capaldi Doctor so I can imagine Malcolm Tucker screaming at a dwarf with a mouth full of dominoes

I would watch this as a show. :colbert:

Franken Fran
May 18, 2011

Henchman of Santa posted:

I like that it's the Peter Capaldi Doctor so I can imagine Malcolm Tucker screaming at a dwarf with a mouth full of dominoes

Your post & username combo are giving me a great idea for the next Doctor Who Christmas special :allears:

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Ichabod Sexbeast
Dec 5, 2011

Giving 'em the old razzle-dazzle
poo poo, I'd be surprised to see Laura Palmer too

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
What are today's headlines?



The Beeb's commentary on this one is great:

quote:

The Daily Star continues its fascination with European sightings of the Pacu - the "testicle-biting" fish usually found in the Amazon. In a frankly unconnected front page picture, they show David and Brooklyn Beckham out fishing off the Dorset coast. It should be noted that biologists will tell you that Pacu have a vegetarian diet.

In fact, there are two great front pages today:

Postal Parcel
Aug 2, 2013

Wheat Loaf posted:

What are today's headlines?



The Beeb's commentary on this one is great:


In fact, there are two great front pages today:



Beckham's son's name is Brooklyn?

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Rysithusiku
Nov 10, 2013

Witness the assless man and despair!
All futures point to a world of filled holes.

Wheat Loaf posted:

What are today's headlines?



The Beeb's commentary on this one is great:


In fact, there are two great front pages today:



Never change Britain. :allears:

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Postal Parcel posted:

Beckham's son's name is Brooklyn?

Yeah, the rumour was that they named him that because that's apparently where he was conceived.

It's also why a lot of kids in Glasgow are named AlleyBehindtheNightclub.

bobjr
Oct 16, 2012

Roose is loose.
🐓🐓🐓✊🪧

Weren't Sarah Palin's kids named the same way, or was that just a big joke?

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

Lady Disdain
Jan 14, 2013


are you yet living?

I love the way "misjudged own girth" is in inverted commas in the title as if it's a quote from the hedgehog.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


Josef K. Sourdust
Jul 16, 2014

"To be quite frank, Platinum sucks at making games. Vanquish was terrible and Metal Gear Rising: Revengance was so boring it put me to sleep."


Laura Palmer, no! Not again! :ohdear:

flavor.flv
Apr 18, 2008

I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches




Funny, that's a clip from the local station here, must have been 25 years ago now. That anchor is still working there, she's head of production now. It's weird to see her popping up in this thread, since she's my cousin.

I have good news, though. That gum you like is going to come back in style

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

Istari posted:

I love the way "misjudged own girth" is in inverted commas in the title as if it's a quote from the hedgehog.

It's clearly a dastardly trap laid by the nefarious Dr Robotnik.

Karma Monkey
Sep 6, 2005

I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

Istari posted:

I love the way "misjudged own girth" is in inverted commas in the title as if it's a quote from the hedgehog.

It was a quote from the Suffolk Fire and Rescue Inspector. It's a cute story. :3:

"They did a brilliant job," he said. - may have been quoting the hedgehog though.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

Good dog

Nastyman
Jul 11, 2007

There they sit
at the foot of the mountain
Taking hits
of the sacred smoke
Fire rips at their lungs
Holy mountain take us away

I for one welcome our new arachnid overlords.

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

Nastyman posted:

I for one welcome our new arachnid overlords.

BOO THIS MAN!

Karma Monkey
Sep 6, 2005

I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

Clearly what happened was the spider saw that the fly was in the shot and was ushering him offscreen. The fly is always doing boneheaded stuff like that and the spider is a consummate TV news professional. :colbert:

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

So, is that a MASSIVE spider, or is it the camera (or whatever) messing with perspective?

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009

The spider is on the lens of the rooftop camera that films the city.

The presenter is in front of a green screen in a studio.

Postal Parcel
Aug 2, 2013

Wheat Loaf posted:

So, is that a MASSIVE spider, or is it the camera (or whatever) messing with perspective?

The start of the apocalypse is when Satan's favored animal, spiders, start attacking the populace.

Useless
Sep 13, 2003
I'm keeping three or four fingers crossed you get a buick up the ass before the night is over.

Someone please find the version where this happened to a weather girl and she flips out and leaves the screen.

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corn in the bible
Jun 5, 2004

Oh no oh god it's all true!

Wheat Loaf posted:

So, is that a MASSIVE spider, or is it the camera (or whatever) messing with perspective?

usually, when news presenters are in front of a cityscape, they're in front of a greenscreen in the basement. a spider got on the camera they were using for the city shot. that's it.

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