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I'm starting to think that I killed the Pittsburgh GM's dog during my first season with the Pens, and now I'm being sentenced to spend the rest of my career in Pittsburgh as punishment. Like look at the Pens. It's a lovely team. And I have to play in front of it like 70 times a season because some other teams who are good but need a goalie to push them over the top *coughNewJerseycoughBuffalocough* aren't doing poo poo.  I'm just old and tired and want a Cup. Free me, Pittsburgh, free me. 
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Jul 4, 2015 06:54
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Top Hats Monthly posted:I'm going to have nothing. What am I going to go down in history as The Caps just hit 40 years. In real life.
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Jul 4, 2015 14:03
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. Also CBJ has had 30 years of existence without a cup. Ouch!
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Kyrosiris posted:It was a good run. Like I said, can't bitch about two Cups and a Conn Smythe. One Cup for me, can't really complain either. Would have liked one ASG or something though. Did a quick search on hockey-reference for similar players (plus or minus 50 games played and 50 points) to Rowdy Roddy. Top three I got were Jamie Macoun, Adrian Aucoin, and Derek Morris. Makes me feel a lot better. 
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Jul 4, 2015 14:55
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Feral_Shofixti posted:The Caps just hit 40 years. In real life. The Canucks are at 45! Buffalo too.
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Jul 4, 2015 15:09
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Chap 2.0 will have nothing, and is getting paid $2mm to sieve it up as Ottawa's starter, fully prepared for a first round exit, wishing Minnesota worked out. Ole Chappy couldnt bring a cup home. 
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Jul 4, 2015 16:21
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Somehow I am getting better.
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Jul 4, 2015 18:22
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Pleads posted:gj Calgary, load up the front line with a stone-fist rock-head. if Don Cherry isn't dead in this alternate future, he sure as poo poo will be after watching one game all these good Canadian boys throwing their elbows around
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Jul 5, 2015 17:01
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Hockles posted:2031 Offseason News Delacour makes the Hall of Fame right? I dont know poo poo about the NFL Hall selection process.
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Jul 5, 2015 21:39
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Athanatos posted:Delacour makes the Hall of Fame right? Probably not. He'd be only in the top 30 in Wins, and limited individual awards, since most of his career was a backup/split starter.
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Jul 5, 2015 21:44
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All-Star Break 2032 Update All-Stars West -- Fred Lemur (Starting Center) West -- Sergei Saskatanov (Starting Right Wing) West -- Liam Gallant (Starting D-Pairing) West -- Milkbags O'Leary (2nd D-Pairing) West -- RC Cola (3rd D-Pairing) West -- Yokozuna (Starting Goaltender) East -- Clint Clemens (Starting Left Wing) East -- Shinichi Satonaka (Starting Right Wing) East -- Jamwad Hilder (2nd Line Right Wing) East -- Rod Peters (4th Line Right Wing) East -- Potatoes O'Bourke (Starting D-Pairing) East -- Aaron Athanatos (3rd D-Pairing) Transaction News None Injury Report None   Toronto is 8th in the West in the AHL. Comments Picklechips is now making an appearance in the League Leaders, still no ASG http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2015 for Complete Stats
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Jul 5, 2015 22:50
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Last chance for Rutkowski on a team chasing the league lead and playing at his usual pace. So round one 4-1 loss against bottom seed will be his swan song. And intro. And main event.
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Jul 5, 2015 22:54
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That's what you get for ditching me Toronto, being on your way to miss the playoffs 
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Jul 6, 2015 00:02
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drat you eichellllllll!
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Jul 6, 2015 00:14
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Windros you loving boat anchor
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Jul 6, 2015 00:33
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Best season of my career, Vancouver is a bottom feeder 
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Jul 6, 2015 00:39
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Blow up the Senators.
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Jul 6, 2015 02:06
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huh I totally missed signing with Washington but I'm sure glad to continue my tour of mediocrity with another team.
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Jul 6, 2015 18:46
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2032 All-Star Game Results    
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Jul 6, 2015 21:34
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End of 2031-32 Regular Season Update Transaction News 3/3/32 -- PIT gets: Milkbags O'Leary (D, 86 OVR) 3/3/32 -- VAN gets: 2032 2nd Round Pick, 2033 2nd Round Pick, a prospect 3/3/32 -- BUF gets: Jim Helar (LW, 80 OVR) 3/3/32 -- VAN gets: 2032 3rd Round Pick 3/3/32 -- LAK gets: 2032 2nd Round Pick, a prospect 3/3/32 -- NSH gets: Logan Flodell (G, 86 OVR) Injury Report ANA -- RC Cola is out with a Bruised Arm. Expected return is 4/20/32 BUF -- The Crushinator is out with a Separated Shoulder. Expected return is 7/5/32   Toronto clinched a spot in the AHL playoffs. Their season goes for another week, so I dunno their final seeding yet Comments Lemur should sweep all skater awards Pepperdick was a brick wall the 2nd half of the season. He may come away with the Vezina. He'll definitely get the Jennings. It's a toss up between Athanatos and O'Leary. O'Leary's +/- might be what holds him back from the Norris. Vancouver sells off it's franchise players for little return Because of the trade, Helar has played an extra game this season M. Savard on TOR (#4 in +/-) is Marc Savard. Perhaps Zombie Marc Savard? Many goons matched or beat their career high in points and/or goals. http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2015 for Complete Stats
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Jul 7, 2015 05:58
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Holy poo poo, Pepperdick.  PED is a Hell of a drug.
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Jul 7, 2015 06:35
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Hockles posted:End of 2031-32 Regular Season Update Oh hey! I finally have a goon buddy, at long last! And the Pens made the playoffs as well!
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Jul 7, 2015 07:15
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End of 2031-32 Season Update Toronto lost in the AHL Western Conference finals NHL Awards Stanley Cup Champions Pittsburgh Penguins Presidents Trophy (Best Regular Season Record) Buffalo Sabres Clarence S. Campbell Bowl (Western Conference Champion) Chicago Blackhawks Prince of Wales Trophy (Eastern Conference Champion) Pittsburgh Penguins Art Ross Trophy (Most Points) Fred Lemur -- Arizona Coyotes Hart Memorial Trophy (League MVP) Fred Lemur -- Arizona Coyotes James Norris Memorial Trophy (Best Defenseman) Aaron Athanatos -- Buffalo Sabres Lady Byng Memorial Trophy (Best Sportsmanship & Gentlemanly Conduct) Fred Lemur -- Arizona Coyotes Calder Memorial Trophy (Rookie of the Year) Mikko Pitkanen -- Buffalo Sabres Conn Smythe Trophy (Playoff MVP) Andrew Kilza -- Pittsburgh Penguins Vezina Trophy (Best Goaltender) Solomon Pepperdick -- Chicago Blackhawks William M. Jennings Trophy (Goalie(s) on team with fewest Goals Against) Solomon Pepperdick -- Chicago Blackhawks Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy (Perserverence, Sportsmanship & Dedication to hockey) Roger Kaunisto -- Dallas Stars Frank J. Selke Trophy (Best Defensive Forward) Fred Lemur -- Arizona Coyotes Ted Lindsay Award (League MVP as voted by NHLPA) Fred Lemur -- Arizona Coyotes Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy (Most Goals) ThinkTank -- New Jersey Devils Comments Milkbags drags Kilza to a Stanley Cup Pepperdick wins the Goalie awards, and could have won the Conn Smythe if this game ever gave it to a goalie losing in the Final Athanatos hits double digits in Norris trophies Lemur has a bunch more hardware to add to his collection Anders filled in for 3 minutes during an OT game, and lost in OT. I'm predicting more goon retirements http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2015 for Complete Stats Upcoming Free-Agents ARZ -- F. Lemur ARZ -- E. Rutkowski CBJ -- R. Peters NSH -- L. Alger OTT -- I. Strelkov PIT -- M. O'Leary PIT -- A. Kilza TBL -- H. Chavez TOR -- B. Bitdiddle WSH -- J. Hilder WPG -- S. Saskatanov
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Jul 7, 2015 07:19
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Hockles posted:Anders filled in for 3 minutes during an OT game, and lost in OT. This will go down forever in hockey trivia quizzes of the future.
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Jul 7, 2015 07:55
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Hockles posted:End of 2031-32 Season Update FINALLY!!!  Hockles posted:Comments 
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Jul 7, 2015 08:01
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I'm going to just lay down here, on my two Vezinas and my Jennings and cry. I'm that guy now. The goalie who was good but juuuuuust not good enough to sub a Cup. Hopefully I can Hasek my way to a win.
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Jul 7, 2015 08:54
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Poor RC Cola. Losing to the team you hoped to retire on. Pretty sneaky trying to keep Anaheim out of the playoffs by bruising your arm though.
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Jul 7, 2015 09:36
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Well that certainly was a season. Stanley Cup #2, traded and Norris contention? Nice.
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Jul 7, 2015 11:19
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I need an addition to my trophy room.
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Jul 7, 2015 11:45
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Hockles posted:Upcoming Free-Agents not with a bang, but with a whimper. Ben Bitdiddle: never won any hardware, spent half his career on the second line below Doughty, got traded to Toronto, buried in the AHL, likely not gonna sign another contract.
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Jul 7, 2015 13:28
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Freed from the boat anchor that is Windros ThinkTank returns to his rightful place as Rocket Richard winner. That's his 5th, greatest pure goal scorer of all time? Yes. Yes he is. Stop blowing it in the playoffs though Picks. Think needs a second cup to cement his legacy. Stupidly he's going to end up 3rd all time in goals behind Gretzky and LEMUR.
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Jul 7, 2015 13:56
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gently caress! So close! Come on CBJ don't get worse now. Give me everything you've got!
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Jul 7, 2015 15:27
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No personal trophies No team trophies I really am Mike Gartner.
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Jul 7, 2015 15:40
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Hockles posted:2032 All-Star Game Results Glad to see that Potatoes continues to fight in all star games. 
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Jul 7, 2015 16:03
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traded in one mook for another in Gallant, jesus. Windros is going to have to tie Calgawy to his wheelchair next season
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Jul 7, 2015 16:08
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Kilza posted:FINALLY!!! You did it.  E: Now all you need is another Cup and we'll be pretty much matched in accolades. Kyrosiris fucked around with this message at 16:23 on Jul 7, 2015 |
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Jul 7, 2015 16:19
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2032 Offseason News Notable Retired Players Nail Yakupov Sean Monahan (1498gp - 407g - 659a - 1166p) Tomas Hertl Filip Forsberg Bo Horvat Robert Hagg Kerby Rychel (1285gp - 376g - 734a - 1110p) Kasperi Kapanen Yury Volchenkov Teuvo Teravainen Jake Virtanen Andre Burakovsky Aaron Athanatos (1142gp - 365g - 945a - 1310p) Guillaume Vien Chase Witala Jim Helar (1093gp - 346g - 522a - 868p) Jordan Harris Kurtis Rutledge Nic Kerdiles Ben Bitdiddle (1037gp - 100g - 127a - 227p) Austin Strand Mitchell Marner Zack Mackay Josh Morrissey Alex Fotinos Daniel Guntern Alex Nedeljkovic Jacob Brennan Santeri Lipiainen Jordan Papirny Transaction News ARZ -- re-signed F. Lemur to a $13mil/1yr contract ARZ -- re-signed E. Rutkowski to a $8.9mil/2yr contract CBJ -- re-signed R. Peters to a $4.1mil/1yr contract NSH -- re-signed L. Alger to a $34.5mil/4yr contract OTT -- re-signed I. Strelkov to a $1.4mil/1yr contract PIT -- re-signed M. O'Leary to a $28.8mil/4yr contract PIT -- re-signed A. Kilza to a $36.6mil/4yr contract TBL -- re-signed H. Chavez to a $2.5mil/1yr contract WSH -- re-signed J. Hilder to a $16.4mil/2yr contract WPG -- re-signed S. Saskatanov to a $8.4mil/2yr contract 6/24/32 -- BUF gets: 2032 1st Round Pick, a prospect 6/24/32 -- MIN gets: The Crushinator (RW, 87 OVR) 6/24/32 -- LAK gets: Zip (G, 86 OVR) 6/24/32 -- NSH gets: 2033 1st Round Pick, a prospect 8/2/32 -- CHI gets: Fancy Stats (RW, 82 OVR) 8/2/32 -- OTT gets: 2 prospects 8/6/32 -- CHI gets: David Pastrnak (RW, 83 OVR) 8/6/32 -- DAL gets: 2 prospects Top 10 Forward Salaries
Top 5 Defenseman Salaries
Top 5 Goalie Salaries
Huge Salaries in AHL ARZ -- Max Domi (LW, 75 OVR) -- $5.545mil BUF -- Sam Reinhart (C, 79 OVR) -- $5.785mil BUF -- Jeremy Helvig (G, 81 OVR) -- $7.355mil CBJ -- Jeremie Beaudin (D, 80 OVR) -- $4.995mil CBJ -- Cody Porter (G, 84 OVR) -- $3.985mil FLA -- Jonas Quincey (D, 81 OVR) -- $3.965mil NSH -- Logan Flodell (G, 83 OVR) -- $7.130mil NJD -- Sergey Zborovskiy (D, 80 OVR) -- $5.235mil 2032-33 Opening Night Info ANA -- RC Cola -- Starting D-Pairing -- Alternate Captain ARZ -- F. Lemur -- Starting Center -- Alternate Captain ARZ-- E. Rutkowski -- 3rd Line Right Wing BUF -- Hockles -- Starting D-Pairing -- Alternate Captain CGY -- E. Windros Jr -- Starting Left Wing CGY -- T. Kingston Kid -- Starting Center -- Alternate Captain CGY -- L. Gallant -- Starting D-Pairing -- Alternate Captain CHI -- F. Stats -- 4th Line Right Wing CHI -- S. Pepperdick -- Starting Goaltender CBJ -- R. Peters -- Starting Center CBJ -- J. Longrod -- Starting D-Pairing -- Captain DAL -- W. Van Steamsdyk -- 3rd Line Right Wing DAL -- A. Robertson -- Backup Goaltender EDM -- Yokozuna -- Starting Goaltender LAK -- S. McStabson -- Starting Right Wing -- Captain LAK -- P. Sanchez -- 2nd Line Right Wing LAK -- Zip -- Starting Goaltender MIN -- T. Crushinator -- Starting Right Wing MTL -- B. Banton -- Starting Right Wing MTL -- C. Clemens -- Starting Center -- Alternate Captain MTL -- P. Wang -- 4th Line Right Wing NSH -- L. Alger -- Starting Left Wing -- Alternate Captain NJD -- ThinkTank -- Starting Left Wing -- Alternate Captain NJD -- R. Picklechips -- Starting Right Wing -- Alternate Captain OTT -- S. Satonaka -- Starting Center -- Captain OTT -- C. Buttworth -- Starting Goaltender OTT -- I. Strelkov -- Backup Goaltender PIT -- M. O'Leary -- Starting D-Pairing PIT -- A. Kilza -- Starting Goaltender TBL -- P. O'Bourke -- Starting D-Pairing -- Alternate Captain TBL -- H. Chavez -- Starting Goaltender in Syracuse (AHL) TOR -- W. Clarkson -- 3rd Line Right Wing TOR -- F. Orphansbane -- Starting Goaltender WSH -- S. Samuelsson -- 2nd Line Left Wing WSH -- J. Hilder -- Starting Right Wing -- Captain WPG -- S. Saskatanov -- Starting Right Wing Line spreadsheet: http://bit.ly/1UwCkiY Comments Chicago trades for Fancy Stats Buffalo ships the Crushinator back to Minnesota Nashville traded away their franchise goalie back to Los Angeles, and the goalie they picked up last season to backup Zip is now in the AHL. Chavez is back down to the AHL I guess a trade was made for Zip. Nothing appeared in the transaction report, but NSH has Los Angeles' draft pick, maybe a prospect or two. Weird.
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Jul 7, 2015 17:32
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Hockles posted:Notable Retired Players Good night, sweet prince. Ten Norrises have to make him a HOF lock, yeah?
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Jul 7, 2015 17:45
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this is the year
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Jul 7, 2015 17:45
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noooooooooooooooooooooo
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Jul 7, 2015 17:51
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Athanatos posted:noooooooooooooooooooooo We mourn a giant. Here lies Aaron Athanatos: He Couldn't Score (in the All-Star Game)
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Jul 7, 2015 18:08
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