|
i'm mindfrayed by this, can only be cured by more updates!
|
#
?
Jul 8, 2015 13:48
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 10, 2024 13:05 |
|
|
DmitriX posted:What is it with people using that word? Why would you assume my preferred economic system so out-of-hand?(it's true communism by the way) Hahahaha Communist governments are poorly disguised fascist regimes, hope this helps.
|
|
#
?
Jul 8, 2015 14:05
|
|
|
DmitriX posted:What is it with people using that word? Why would you assume my preferred economic system so out-of-hand?(it's true communism by the way) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BndQrmT_ytg 1:31 specifically.
|
|
#
?
Jul 8, 2015 16:50
|
|
|
Captain Foo posted:i'm mindfrayed by this, can only be cured by more updates! Working on it.
|
|
#
?
Jul 8, 2015 17:27
|
|
|
Part 45: Rookies to the Fore!  The Skyranger literally just got back an hour ago and now we have another UFO? Hell. DEPLOY THE FIRESTORM! We don’t have any on that continent. What!? FUUUUUUUUCK. Fine. Deploy the laser-cannon-equipped normal jet fighter.  At least it’s a small UFO. If it were one of the bigger ones we’d be in trouble. We’ve been at it this long and this is only the fifth one we’ve ever shot down. Weird. I thought there’d be more… anyway. Time to bring out our unenhanced soldiers.  The Furies are still in the Psi chamber getting their brain powers unlocked, so it’s just Annette and most of our B-Team. Fortunately, it seems cyborgs are immune to “meld flu” as we do not possess any alien genetics. That is one freaking HUGE gun, Gomez. You could probably down a UFO with that sucker. You’re all equipped with the new, super-heavy Titan Armor. It’s slower than the Skeleton Armor and you won’t be able to dodge shots as well, but it’s super-tough. So why does it look like I’m wearing a metal diaper? You want to be shot in the crotch with plasma? I’m also sending out our new prototype hover-SHIV equipped with plasma weaponry. Tear that UFO apart! One of the downsides of all this experimentation… new problems sometimes arise. New worlds, new diseases. Once we find the cure for “meld flu” I may get enhanced anyway. I need to be as strong and tough as possible to destroy the aliens! I can feel something evil out there… like the worst is yet to come. Psychic premonition, or just the jitters? Possibly both. Who’s piloting the SHIV? Me. *wheeze* I’m just barely well enough to play video games, I can do this. Well, so long as we’ve performed an autopsy on them, my vital-point scanner will help me utterly destroy the targets. I’ve been practicing too. Why don’t you ever use your pistols? You were badass with one back when we recruited you. Sentimental reasons. We’re here. Fan out but stay within sight of each other. If there are any drat seekers I don’t want anyone getting jumped! This armor is quite… form-fitting for something so heavy. Let’s put the fireproofing to the test. Careful, Zin, we don’t want any toasted buns! Ha! Indeed… X-rays spotted. Three mutons to the east! *cough* Let’s put this flying SHIV to the test! Targeting… BOOM! One shot, 100% aim, one kill. I love this machine already! Everyone else, move closer! BAAAH! Stupid pistol targeting system said I had a 70% chance to hit. How could you betray me, statistics? AAAH! OWWW! AAIIIEEEE! Annette! Haaaahhh… haaahhh… RAA! You BRUTE! SUFFER MY PAIN! It’s paralyzed with fear. Flank it! No time for subtlety. I’m punching the far one. ROCKET PUNCH!  *whimper* Crying for your mommy, soldier? I’ll give you something to cry about! Whew. What the hell did you make it see, Annette? I gave it a vision of an overwhelming swarm of ants crawling all over its skin, biting! Aha, a metaphor for how humans are resisting alien occupation! I approve! … I wasn’t really going for that, but that works too! I’m going for the meld! AAAAH! That was a mistake! Backup! Now, my rifle, you and I have had our differences, but today, you will not fail me. We’re going to disable that monstrosity’s weapons, you and I! YOU TRAITOROUS WEAPON! *thumps rifle* This is why I never trusted you! I’ll try to draw its fire with the Hover SHIV! The Mechtoid can’t aim upwards very well and the SHIV can’t be mind-controlled. This will hold it. Everyone get set up! Ha! See? It can’t hit this thing while it’s in the air! The sectoid commander is moving to shield it with its mind. We can’t reach it from here, we’ll have to try to blast the shield down manually. THERE! That’s more like it! The shield is down. HRRRRGH! It’s not dead yet, but it’s hurting! It’s gone. Now, Hugo, send the Shiv closer to the Sectoid commander. *cough* Right. Ha! FLYING DEATH! I bet you wish you brought floaters with you now, didn’t you?  Obey… obey! You are a weapon. You are MY weapon. Hrrrrgh… no! You won’t get in my brain! But I will get in yours! *whistle* Particle accelerator to the face. That’s gotta hurt. Seekers to the south! poo poo! I hate those things! Don’t worry, you’re all wearing Titan armor, right? They can’t strangle you now. But now we have to go hunting for them. Zin, you and Hugo watch our rears while the rest of us infiltrate the UFO and secure the other Meld canister. Of course! Nothing will get past me. And if anything does I’m dismantling my rifle once and for all. You hear that, rifle? You’re on notice. It’s decloaking to attack! Countersniping! Hahaha! Excellent! The bridge. There will be at least two or three Sectoid Commanders here. I can punch at least one to death. Peter, can you shotgun the other? I am one with the gun. Good! Breach! Hssst! More puppetsss. You do not possess the genetic traits necessary to resist our control! Oh, REALLY? Typical brain-alien. “Your inferior earth weaponry is no match for our superior intellect,” blah blah blah. Let me know when that giant brain of yours has a laser-reflecting skull! ROCKET PUNCH! AUUUGH! S…STOP! Who is laughing now, foolish hair-faced creature? I am. You! The test subject! NO! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! DIE! Ugh… thanks! Piece of poo poo alien. Couldn’t control my own limbs… I got the final seeker. All aliens dead. Successful test of the new armor and SHIV, and proof that we don’t need mutagens to make good soldiers. You’ve made me very proud, team! The sick soldiers are beginning to recover. Good. I think it’s time we put the screws to EXALT and finished them once and for all.To Be Continued! Speedball fucked around with this message at 17:02 on Jul 11, 2015 |
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2015 00:07
|
|
|
I wish you could actively scan for EXALT. Like, take a satellite off alien duty or something.
|
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2015 00:15
|
|
|
I love how the game itself is cooperating with the "Zinchenko can't hit for beans even at relatively high probabilities" narrative.
|
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2015 00:21
|
|
|
Speedball posted:
I really needed this laugh. Thanks. 
|
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2015 00:31
|
|
|
That sound you hear was Vasily Zaitsev burrowing out of his grave in order to come and kick Zinhenko's rear end are his shameful display of Russian marksmanship.
|
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2015 00:46
|
|
|
The lightning is the rookie, right? Annette clearly got a hubris aim bonus for the Sectoid Commander mocking the dorn stache.
|
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2015 01:15
|
|
|
Wait, you actually managed to resist a mindcontrol attempt?  That literally never happened in any of my playthroughs, even with nominally high-will soldiers.
|
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2015 01:32
|
|
|
TooMuchAbstraction posted:Wait, you actually managed to resist a mindcontrol attempt? It's happened several times already, particularly when Hugo got mentally attacked. I'm putting Neural Feedback or Neural Dampening on every-frigging-one after this month, though. Because the Hyperwave Decoder is about to be finished and you-know-what will happen then. poo poo is about to GET REAL.
|
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2015 01:52
|
|
|
I approve of zinchenko never using a rifle again.
|
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2015 17:26
|
|
|
Captain Foo posted:I approve of zinchenko never using a rifle again. If only he'd tested positive for psychic powers.... It's bizzare, in one of my test runs for the game where I just fast-forwarded everything most of the core cast tested positive. Watkins, Leroy, Queen and Hugo and Yoko.
|
|
#
?
Jul 10, 2015 04:35
|
|
|
Speedball posted:If only he'd tested positive for psychic powers.... It's apparently determined randomly the moment you send them into the psi lab for testing. (You CAN use this to your advantage by savescumming:
Ten days later, all three of your chosen candidates will show up Gifted. Slightly tedious, especially if you try it with low-Will people or Squaddies, but as long as you don't accidentally mess up the save files it'll work every time.
|
|
#
?
Jul 10, 2015 11:13
|
|
|
Given the successful test of the Hover SHIV, EXALT that needs to be taken care of and their use of biological weapons, there is only one way of ending their "threat", and that is swarming their base with remotely-piloted SHIVs.
|
|
#
?
Jul 10, 2015 12:04
|
|
|
drat, I could have totally cheated my way into giving everyone in the cast psychic powers. Hah. Well, sometimes roleplaying the stuff you can't control is for the best. Nice psychic tip though, yeah. I was gonna work on the update and have it done by now but a variety of real life events, some shittier than others, conspired to take up my free time and make me feel very crummy and depressed. I hope I get over it soon.
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 01:17
|
|
|
Aw, come on man, you know we love you! Whenever you feel down just come to this thread and we'll shower you with all the love your little heart can handle! Even Steve loves ya!
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 04:29
|
|
|
Thanks. It's working. There will be an update tomorrow.
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 06:10
|
|
|
Speedball posted:Thanks. It's working. Yeah, we're all friends here, it's just that some of us have idiosyncrasies more annoying than others. But yeah, we all love ya here man. And because I'm nothing if not a shameless and relentlessly curious bastard, I will once again plug this song, since it's always made me feel better when I've felt depressed. (seriously, I want to know if this song actually improves anyone else's mood when they hear it) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tB4Avdlz3lk But yeah, bottom line, everyone here (as far as I can tell) loves your work, some people just express that better than others. I can have moments of... eccentricity and sometimes be quite curious about things. Please forgive me if I do something foolish or rude.
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 10:56
|
|
|
You just got a update up anyways, we've waited longer before. Don't Panic!
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 11:12
|
|
|
delurking to say keep it up. I usually read this thread in chunks after a few weeks of not checking so never really up on the discussion. However, I really do like it a lot.
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 16:47
|
|
|
I may not unlurk often, but when I do, it's to comment on fantastic LP's. Hang in there, Speedball, you're doing great stuff!
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 19:31
|
|
|
And yeah, depression bites hard... but you're doing something it took me nearly 20 years to learn to do: be open about it and ask for encouragement. We're not "supposed" to fish for compliments but that stuff actually, genuinely helps. So do what you need to do. We'll enjoy the next installment when it gets here, because it'll be good like all the other ones.
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 22:24
|
|
|
Speedball, your stuff is gold. I will read LPs of games I'm not that interested in if you're the one let's playing them.
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 22:29
|
|
|
Also coming out of lurk-mode to cheer you on. I really enjoyed your Metal Gear Civ 5 Let's Play, and now this XCOM Let's Play is an absolute treat to read. I'm always happy whenever there's a new update posted!
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 22:34
|
|
|
This is the most huggish thread in the forum. (No that's not a real word) But man, you know we love your work. Good narrative LPs in general are a treat, but yours is one of the better ones in recent memory.
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 22:48
|
|
|
Awww, shucks, thanks. Feel better now after a hearty meal, a good carwash, and a day off. Let's do this!
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 00:11
|
|
|
I agree with everyone above me. This is a good LP and you should feel great, Speedball. You make days brighter with your work.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 00:16
|
|
|
Speedball posted:Let's do this! : IIIIIIIIIVAAAAAAAAANNNNNN ZINCHENKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ... oh god, he just ran in. : Save him! : STICK TO THE PLAN! STICK TO THE PLAN!
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 00:19
|
|
|
W.T. Fits posted:
 The best thing is, this is like 0% out of character.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 02:12
|
|
|
Part 46: Goodbye, EXALT!  This is the most powerful man-portable weapon we can devise, and it’s something the aliens have never deployed: a projectile weapon that uses their alloy as shards. Human ingenuity, I love it! And I’ve got just the thing to test it out on now. We have confirmed that the location of the EXALT base is within South Africa. We’re fighting the bad guys from District 9?! We’re fighting the bad guys from Lethal Weapon 2?! You Watkinses are weird. No, no, the South African government does not approve of or endorse EXALT and has given us permission to raid the base. They’re corporate, remember? Commander, how did you find this out? We haven’t eliminated enough possible countries yet. Well… I cheated. There are certain… actions I am forbidden from taking. I signed a very large legal document when the treaty was written to activate the XCOM project. But the Council has notified us that the mission to safeguard human life does not extend to EXALT, so I’m using that loophole. You still didn’t say what you did. You mutants, cyborgs and psychics aren’t the only ones with alien superpowers. There was an accident. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s a little something left over from the original invasion in the 1960s, something that Vahlen can’t replicate, and I used it to get this information. I’ll tell you more… some other time. I see… Since EXALT has a disease they can give to our soldiers, perhaps now would be a good time to overwhelm them with our ROBOT ARMY!!! YEAH! Robot army! I can get behind that! …tempting, but no. Aww, why? You psychics need to exercise your brains and these idiots are safer to practice against than charging berserkers or chrysalids. I want you to be able to totally crush alien minds from within when the time comes. Besides, you should already have the antibodies for “meld flu” by now. Yoko, you didn’t change your face? Not yet. I’ll get the new DNA to celebrate once we’ve finished off EXALT once and for all. Holy cow, this shotgun is so powerful they couldn’t even test it properly. The shards just went straight through four concrete barriers. Cam, never EVER point this in the direction of anything if you want it to live. Mom, I know about muzzle discipline. Jeez. I can’t believe it. We’re really going to finish them off! Oh, I’ve been waiting for this ever since they kidnapped me and stuffed me in that van. I want these guys gone too, but it might not be that exciting. They’re just radicalized office workers. You don’t understand. There is nothing more uncaring, more brutal, than a huge machine that treats living beings as replaceable parts. That is a corporate entity. That is what we’re facing. None of the individual EXALT people seem like they’re a threat on their own, but what’s the true threat is their mentality. None of them claim individual responsibility for bad behavior, so the entire group gets away with bad behavior. A hive mind that treats living people like machines… just like what the aliens do. This is all fascinating, but I seriously hope one of them asks for diplomatic immunity. I will shoot him in the head and say it’s just been revoked. Mom, I know you love that movie, but c’mon. It’s got a tough black cop shooting a corrupt rich white old man in the head and getting away with it in the end. He doesn’t even get demoted or jailed or anything! That is the ultimate dream. Oh. Well, when you put it like that… That does sound like a pretty satisfying revenge fantasy. And a lot of us here are for revenge in one way or another. It’s going to be a revenge reality pretty soon! Sure is! Okay, we’re here. No alarms, so— Welcome, XCOM. gently caress. Your commander was too unsubtle in uncovering our base. Of course I knew you were coming. I know him and everything he’s capable of. gently caress you talking about? (Mom, Yoko, set up on the central doors. The rest of us around the sides, through the windows. Pincer action. Annette and Eva to the left, me and Gomez to the right.)  What’s going on? There was a sound like a helicopter overhead… That was not a helicopter. I smell jet fumes. That was a VTOL. And I smell… perfume. French perfume. Oh, poo poo, her brand!  Intruder alert!!! They spotted me! Quick, flank them! Oh my God. Endangered animal skins? Leather couches? Rare books? loving… marble busts? It looks like EXALT prefers form over function. Not exactly a winning strategy. Not just rich assholes but wasteful rich assholes. I’m covering our side with smoke! And I’m charging right through the goddamn window! Oh poo poo! Not the mama bear! You’re goddamn right! Guuugh! Haha! Got blood on your stupid Stalin bust! Hey, aren’t you that white Belgian girl? Why’d you make yourself look Arabic— SHUT IT! Ha! I sweat healing gel! Though I do need to clean the blood off my tie… there! rear end in a top hat, you’re supposed to use that poo poo on US when WE get wounded! (He has no idea we are standing right behind him, huh?) (Such an idiot…) They have a throne room. With a skull in a jar next to a holo-globe. That is both stupid and completely awesome. Do they have a cat? I bet he has a cat. I don’t see the leader. Perhaps you are wondering: “How did I get this technology? How was I able to detect your commander?” It’s simple. HE wasn’t the only survivor of the original XCOM. Heh heh heh. There were others. He was an accidental recruit. Someone who merely lucked into getting the assignment, into wielding more power than he knew what to do with. I was much more than he ever was. EXALT is the true descendant of XCOM, because I am the only true member of XCOM left. Enemy medic down! Eva, go! AIE! poo poo, they’re all around us! Enemy assault down. Just the sniper left over here. And his aim is worse than Zinchenko’s! Aaaaugh! You bitch! You shot my shoulder! I hope it hurt, you monster. Crap! Three more guys by the throne! Latisha, please move your head ten centimeters to the left. Oh poo poo! Glaubbb… God drat it! You almost gave me a new ear piercing! Or ritual cheek-scarring. Trust me! I was very precise! Well, now we’ve got no cover so I’m ghost-nading us! Foolish XCOM. Each of these men is willing to give up their lives for me. Wait, what? We are? What do we do?! Director! Answer me! Gentlemen, understand this. The work we have done was a labor of love. Love for humanity. Love for each other. Love for a brighter future. A love that will last… forever. What the gently caress are you talking about?! Do you know what it means to “exalt” something? It is to place something higher than the rest. And what have you exalted? Me. I am so very grateful to you all, for your sacrifice. Oh, god, he’s bugged out on us! GAUGH! HA HA! I never moved from the doorway! loving… camper… drat it feels good to get poo poo done. You feel it too, doc? I do! MIND BLAST! Blauughh… Hey, let me try! I’m feeling pretty juiced-up! Aww, poo poo! I don’t wanna get brain-reamed! Three more guys to the rear! Watch out! Then we’d better thin their numbers, fast! BLAUGH! Cam, can you mindblast at least one of them? They might be out of range of your shotgun. I’ll see! Three more spotted to the rear, outside on the roof! Help! Seven total. We can do this. gently caress EVERYTHING! I have a rocket launcher. YOU DIE! AUGH! AOOOWWW! Not in the base! gently caress the base! gently caress the mission! The director’s abandoned us! Everyone shoot the cyborg! Augh! AUGH! H… help! You monsters! I won’t let you hurt anyone else! I WON’T! YAAAA! TAKE THAT! God drat it! gently caress YOU TOO, BLACK RUSSIAN! Don’t you watch television? I’m a KNIGHT! Ahhh ha! Yes! She blew off all their cover! We can take them! No… mommmyyyyy… Can’t even see them through all that smoke… running closer! I can’t hit her! She’s everywhere! Then SHOOT everywhere! You bastards! Ha! I live! Check again. Assshooooollllee… Taking one out… …and now I’m retreating to spray the healing gel on myself. Sorry! That’s fine, doc, don’t push yourself too hard for our sakes. HOLD STILL! Why can’t I hit you!? Are you standing on a tiger skin? I love big cats! How could you do that?! Keep your head on a swivel! Cam, there’s one right behind you! I’ll get him! I never got to tell Fred… I loved him… This is for all the people you treated like animals, and all the animals you treated like THINGS! But… I was… going to be… rich… and powerful… Hide behind cover all you like, I’ll blow you up with my HEAD! Nnnnarrgghhh… no… killed by a lime-headed freak… Yoko! You’re bleeding. I’ll be fine… heh… you’re standing on a little fire. That Titan armor really does work… You’re delirious. Hang on! Like they said in that one movie. “I don’t have time to bleed.” God drat IT! Am I really the only one left? NO! DIE, Watkins! Ouch. Heh. This is nothing. I’ve had every single finger blown off at least once. I’ve sucked down a gallon of Thin Man poison. I’ve had my entire DNA replaced with someone else’s who HERSELF had her whole DNA hosed with. There’s nothing you can do to kill me, and there’s a million ways I can kill you. poo poo! Or you could surrender and we put you in prison. What else are you gonna do, claim diplomatic immunity? Uh… uh… Yeah! That’s it! You can’t touch me! I’m the last one! That makes me in charge by default! Yeah! It’s ILLEGAL to shoot me! Diplomatic immunity! It’s just been revoked!  By now, you must know that these are merely pre-recorded messages. I am injecting one final vial of meld into myself. You will never know who I am or what my appearance will be. But these traits I’ve spliced into myself will let me survive the coming conflagration that will consume our world. All governments will fall. I’ve seen it. But I will rise. Humanity’s best will live on, through me. Goodbye, EXALT. And goodbye, XCOM. You got him to say the words. For me. You are the best kid ever. Heh. Well, early birthday gift. He wouldn’t have surrendered for reals anyway, they all have those suicide pills. So we’ll never get their leader? Or know who he was? Won’t need to. He’s a walking dead man. He said he spliced a zillion traits into himself. Something Vahlen discovered is that the traits EXALT uses… they’re not meant to be permanent. They cause horrible damage if left activated forever. He’ll die of four kinds of cancer inside a month. Is it true that he was once a part of the old XCOM? It’s possible. There’s at least one guy I knew from the old Bureau who turned out to be a real rear end in a top hat… Thinking-powers… getting stronger! I think I can make others think what I think! Me too! This is amazing! See? I told you! Now we have only one question. What the hell are we going to do with all this priceless art? Dibs on the skull-throne!To Be Continued!
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 07:55
|
|
|
"EXALT Technology" is just the boss' kid's gaming rig
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 08:25
|
|
|
Everyone loves picking on the cyborg.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 08:36
|
|
|
That was excellent Speedball. Now, are you going to sell the art and artefacts for sweet sweet cash, or are you going to keep a hold of it, and in character (or whatever the right term would be here) say that your giving them to the troops? The latter option would be funnier but the former option is far more practical. Though, if you sell the stuff, we can at least see the disappointed reactions of some of the troops. Oh, and I can't wait to see stuff get mind controlled. I can have moments of... eccentricity and sometimes be quite curious about things. Please forgive me if I do something foolish or rude.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 09:20
|
|
|
Speedball posted:
Everyone was bloody tired of Exalt so they authorized save-scumming.And good riddance to the clowns, Exalt overstays his welcome after the first couple months. The first Miles Edgeworth game also had an "It's been revoked" joke: evil ambassador can't deny his murder anymore but claims he can't be arrested and he has a plane to catch, thank you very much; good ambassador strolls in and casually mentions that he was just on the phone with home and they revoked the immunity; cue the Ace Attorney Breakdown(TM). E: of course cobra commander has a skull throne, I don't know why I thought otherwise
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 09:54
|
|
|
Speedball posted:
 I'm sure that I would've been more annoyed by it if this wasn't a great update. 
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 10:32
|
|
|
It might not have been this episode, but we are getting a SHIVCom update, right? Don't tease us with that wonderful picture and never have it happen. That was a great update though.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 14:07
|
|
|
Drakenel posted:Everyone loves picking on the cyborg. To be fair, that's what cyborgs are for. They're the ones who can stand out in the open and attract a few plasma bolts when your other units wouldn't survive such punishment. This is at least as important as their getting weapons that are one tech level ahead of the rest of your squad's. Maybe not as important as being able to punch dudes through walls though.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 15:39
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 10, 2024 13:05 |
|
|
Only 15 Exalt? Wow, lucky! I had to put 40 of them down.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 16:35
|
|
