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Stumbled across this reddit post. It is extremely long. What a wretched hive of scum and villainy "today i hosed up by pretending to be gay" https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2bad5k/tifu_by_pretending_to_be_gay/ Anyway, I hope this isn't a "repost"- I read the last 2/3 of this thread and a lot of the beginning, but there is a gap that I still slavishly pursue. I prefer not to witness this STDH in the wild, and would rather see it in its appropriate zoo. Good thread we got goin' here.
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Jul 10, 2015 21:10
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That's actually quite a cool story, even if the guy turns out to have been a completely different kind of insufferable prick at school than the picture suggests.
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Jul 10, 2015 21:31
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Cruel and Unusual posted:I too coped with crippling poverty by going horseback riding. birthday bullshit posted:She was the third of my friends to die suddenly that summer but at least I didn't see this one happen. Ever since that summer, I have a hard time being close to people. Haha what?
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Jul 11, 2015 01:28
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walrusman posted:Haha what? Probably her and her friends are all inbred hill people which is why they drop dead so young and why she has a bunch of health problems.
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Jul 11, 2015 01:31
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I mean I guess that's possible, it just seemed like the cherry on top of the STDH sundae to me. After reading the captions in the album, I'm even more sure it's bullshit. Sure, poor country people sometimes have a couple of mangy horses wandering around, eating and making the place look more rural, but competing at any level costs shitloads of money and requires actual horses with significant training (plus regular medical care to protect the investment). So poor you sent your preteen daughter down the coal mine, but rich enough to have multiple competition horses? Bull loving poo poo.
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Jul 11, 2015 01:53
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I like how he writes this 10,000 word melodrama about how his life is falling apart and oh no he has to move out of his state but as soon as someone asks why he doesn't use the voice recording of Jeff all of a sudden, oh, it's no big deal. He always wanted to move away from this stupid state anyway. I did enjoy the story, tho. It's like he lives in a sitcom and Lifetime original movie all at the same time.
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Jul 11, 2015 02:01
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It came from Tumblr:quote:A gang of Satan worshipers has killed and eaten four Russian teenagers, police have revealed. The only sources I could find were from the daily mail, pravda and religionnewsblog.com. 
change my name has a new favorite as of 03:44 on Jul 12, 2015 |
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Jul 12, 2015 03:41
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It's Russia, that really isn't too far outside the realm of possibility.
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Jul 12, 2015 03:43
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Murdering and eating a teenager, now that's bad. But what's really Satanic is forcing them to drink alcohol.
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Jul 12, 2015 03:48
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Crow Jane posted:It's Russia, that really isn't too far outside the realm of possibility. It's poo poo that did happen, but the international news outlets misread "Stalinists."
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Jul 12, 2015 03:49
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How could you count 666 stab wounds? I feel that by that point things would just be a red slurry.
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Jul 12, 2015 04:01
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Cruel and Unusual posted:How could you count 666 stab wounds? I feel that by that point things would just be a red slurry. 666 stab wounds counted AFTER they ate the bodies
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Jul 12, 2015 04:16
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Decrepus posted:666 stab wounds counted AFTER they ate the bodies Cruel and Unusual posted:How could you count 666 stab wounds? I feel that by that point things would just be a red slurry. All things are possible through the power of Christ 
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Jul 12, 2015 04:23
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change my name posted:It came from Tumblr: I remember this from like 2012, is it making the rounds again?
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Jul 12, 2015 04:32
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While we're on the topic
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Jul 12, 2015 04:48
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Stabbing some people 666 times sounds like a heck of a lot of work unless you were doing pissy little papercut jabs. Also it'd be really loving annoying if you'd gone to all that effort and you lost count at about the 500 stab mark and had to go out and find some new victims and start over.
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Jul 12, 2015 04:52
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Stabbing some people 666 times sounds like a heck of a lot of work unless you were doing pissy little papercut jabs. Also it'd be really loving annoying if you'd gone to all that effort and you lost count at about the 500 stab mark and had to go out and find some new victims and start over. Sounds like someone didn't plan it all the way through. 
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Jul 12, 2015 05:06
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Stabbing some people 666 times sounds like a heck of a lot of work unless you were doing pissy little papercut jabs. It would be literally exhausting. And would take hours. For one victim.
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Jul 12, 2015 07:45
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Avenging_Mikon posted:It would be literally exhausting. And would take hours. For one victim.
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Jul 12, 2015 07:46
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Ravenfood posted:Maybe they used a fork. 6 knives tied together! 11 stabs and you're about 10% done!
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Jul 12, 2015 07:50
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This Hexastabber(tm) is practically doing the satanic mutilation for me! (Black and white video of a guy stabbing a victim, theatrically mopping his brow)
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Jul 12, 2015 07:55
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The easiest way to stab someone 666 times is to hot glue 222 knives together and stab them three times.
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Jul 12, 2015 10:07
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I guess that Satanists must be pretty glad that the Number Of The Beast wasn't 659
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Jul 12, 2015 10:31
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Evilreaver posted:The easiest way to stab someone 666 times is to hot glue 222 knives together and stab them three times. Push your victim inside, close the door, open, turn the victim, and repeat! 
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Jul 12, 2015 14:10
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Evilreaver posted:The easiest way to stab someone 666 times is to hot glue 222 knives together and stab them three times. Well I just put 666 knives on a table and throw people on it.
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Jul 12, 2015 16:20
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ToxicSlurpee posted:Well I just put 666 knives on a table and throw people on it. What if you miss?
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Jul 12, 2015 18:35
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goose fleet posted:What if you miss? I just do it again. I don't think the devil will mind extra murder and pain.
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Jul 12, 2015 19:19
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ToxicSlurpee posted:I just do it again. I don't think the devil will mind extra murder and pain. I believe the point is, what if the victim hits it kind of askew and only 103 of the knives penetrate him/her, you can't really easily subdivide your table to make up for it, not accurately anyway, whereas if you did it in say 111 knife instalments you could pull a few knives out, or even get a second table set-up with X knives to make up the odd amount due to bad throws.
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Jul 12, 2015 19:38
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ToxicSlurpee posted:I just do it again. I don't think the devil will mind extra murder and pain. It doesn't count unless it's exactly 666. You can't have Satanism unless everything is done exactly 666 times.
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Jul 12, 2015 19:43
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You're all wrong, the easiest way to do this would be to get 7 100-round magazines for your knife-gun and only fill one of them 2/3rds of the way full.
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Jul 12, 2015 19:43
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Stuntman posted:You're all wrong, the easiest way to do this would be to get 7 100-round magazines for your knife-gun and only fill one of them 2/3rds of the way full. Ultimate satanism: 666.666 666 666 666 666 666 [...] bullets
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Jul 12, 2015 19:56
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goose fleet posted:It doesn't count unless it's exactly 666. You can't have Satanism unless everything is done exactly 666 times. But I can't masturbate that much in a day. 
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Jul 12, 2015 21:25
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goose fleet posted:It doesn't count unless it's exactly 666. You can't have Satanism unless everything is done exactly 666 times. Every time they leave the room, they have to flip the lightswitch 666 times.
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Jul 12, 2015 21:38
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I guess this time I was the poo poo that didn't happen (that photo totally looks like Dylan though)
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Jul 12, 2015 21:42
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davidspackage posted:Every time they leave the room, they have to flip the lightswitch 666 times. Wouldn't that end up with the light still on?
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Jul 12, 2015 21:48
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ToxicSlurpee posted:But I can't masturbate that much in a day. How many sperms did you secrete, you might still be good
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Jul 12, 2015 21:54
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sweeperbravo posted:How many sperms did you secrete, you might still be good Beats me, I never counted. drat it I just lost a key too now I'm down to 665. Satan is going to hate me.
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Jul 13, 2015 02:58
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Maybe they stabbed them six times, took a pause, stabbed 6 times again, then another pause, and then 6 more times. That's 6-6-6.
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Jul 13, 2015 04:14
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Thin Privilege posted:Maybe they stabbed them six times, took a pause, stabbed 6 times again, then another pause, and then 6 more times. That's 6-6-6. Ironically, Satan hates lazy people and if you pull that poo poo, you are NOT going to hell when you die. Put the effort in.
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Jul 13, 2015 04:19
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Avenging_Mikon posted:Ironically, Satan hates lazy people and if you pull that poo poo, you are NOT going to hell when you die. Put the effort in. Alright I'm going to stab somebody 443,556 times then. I mean he likes effort, right?
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Jul 13, 2015 04:48
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