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I don't think anyone goes into something like a 12 step program because it's their 'thing'. They are definitely not the only option, but they are free which is good for you. Take a look back at the pattern of choices you have made and consider that you may not have the ability to stop without assistance. I'd also encourage therapy, and that would be money well spent. Just because you have had long periods of sobriety doesn't mean you shouldn't be seeking treatment. You've had two instances in the last few months where drinking has had significant impacts on your quality of life. Didn't you also 'quit' drinking a couple of months ago as well?
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Jul 15, 2015 03:43
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Doesn't AA have a pretty religious slant, or am I basing that on the fact that around here it's mostly run by/at churches? I could definitely see how that's a put-off. I vote for exercise as a hobby, not just a "I'm going to try to go for a walk more." I like to run and I like to drink beer, but if you get serious about one you have to de-emphasize the other. It doesn't have to be running. Hiking, tennis with a borrowed racket, pickup basketball, ultimate frisbee, whatever. But as I type this I feel compelled to say KG DON'T GO BUY A 3 YEAR GYM MEMBERSHIP OR A BOWFLEX OR A TREADMILL.
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Jul 15, 2015 04:24
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OK - let's not worry about AA at the moment - of course it has it's flaws. Check out these posts: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3586966&pagenumber=78&perpage=40#post442897031 "I haven't been drinking this much beer for very long, just ever since I got my first batch finished (which was actually about 3 gallons). I have a line item for alcohol, it's $28 a month. However like dreese said Veskit said I'm not going to be able to lose weight drinking this much, so I'll just put a stop to it. I'll just partake only a little at parties and events until I'm at a healthy weight again." http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3586966&pagenumber=64&perpage=40#post440544516 "I actually did take up drinking beer again (just way less), so having a little extra in grocery for that would also save money since where we shop has it for much cheaper." http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3586966&pagenumber=91&perpage=40#post444144929 "I got drunk one night with a couple friends and made some really bad financial choices with them. But that's why I'm not drinking anymore. " http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3586966&pagenumber=116&perpage=40#post447733234 "Thanks yeah I've been hanging around with an old drinking buddy from high school again, and it's not even remotely his fault or anything, but it definitely has allowed me to fall back into old habits (which is again my own fault). I initially started smoking again just "having one" on a weekend with some beers, but that behavior became worse; I went and bought snus, I bought more snus, I bought a pack and smoked 3, etc etc. And then I felt I needed it, and it made me feel like poo poo. 2 days clean on smoking, 3 days clean on alcohol." These are not the sorts of things a person who has a healthy relationship with drinking says. We also have seen many more posts about how you are going to stay on budget, only to miss your targets a few months later. Do you have any thoughts on why this is happening? Do you think that putting cash into envelopes (I've suggested this for months) will solve these problems? I would submit that you need to pursue something like 12 steps, CBT, or some other program of behavior modification so you can break this pattern. What do you think?
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Jul 15, 2015 06:42
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n8r posted:These are not the sorts of things a person who has a healthy relationship with drinking says. Eh, I just think he's a rambler and he mentions the alcohol in the thread because he knows it's a bad financial decision he should own up to. I'm always pro-vices, though.
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Jul 15, 2015 08:31
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Good post n8r thanks. I did talk about all of this in CBT, so a lot of this actually does have some professional input behind it. Basically I'm still at the point of "Walk 1 hour every day" that he recommended to me. Something something endorphins. I've been putting a lot of this off to focus on finances, or giving half-hearted attempts as you showed above. I believe my financial habits are bandaged up enough to start focusing on the other stuff that has made me unhappy. That's kind of been my plan from the start. What's cool is doing this stuff will help me with my impulse control (something something endorphins), which will help my finances. I'm just on the implementation now, and buying those couple packs of cigarettes made me to realize that it's time to get going on it. 3 days no cigarettes, 4 days no alcohol. Easychair Bootson posted:Doesn't AA have a pretty religious slant, or am I basing that on the fact that around here it's mostly run by/at churches? I could definitely see how that's a put-off. AA does have a religious slant yes. Nah on the expensive exercise stuff. I considered it, but you guys have taught me that I tend to throw money at my problems, and I agree. When I get to a point where I'm putting in effort consistently and meeting goals, then I'll pick up a gym membership or some equipment for home. Body weight squats and pushups will go a long way though from experience. I'm glad I made this post. It allowed me to clear my thoughts and reinforce my intentions and motivations. This weekend I'm going to pack up the family and dogs for a half day hike I think. I believe we'll be trying this one before the summer is over:  http://www.everytrail.com/guide/mount-tallac-lake-tahoe e when not if. e2 clarification Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 16:58 on Jul 15, 2015 |
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Jul 15, 2015 16:49
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Knyteguy posted:Nah on the expensive exercise stuff. I considered it, but you guys have taught me that I tend to throw money at my problems, and I agree. When I get to a point where I'm putting in effort consistently and meeting goals, then I'll pick up a gym membership or some equipment for home. Body weight squats and pushups will go a long way though from experience.
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Jul 15, 2015 17:41
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moana posted:I think it's Jacob from ERE that suggested a modified burpees routine - instead of a jump at the end of the burpee, you do a squat with arms raised above your head. Five burpees per minute for as many minutes as you can take it (I normally do 10). Arms, legs, and cardio in a very short workout, pretty awesome. Huh I'll have to give this a try and see how long I can go for.  Look out world I'm coming for you. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 21:14 on Jul 15, 2015 |
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Jul 15, 2015 21:11
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When bodyweight work stops being effective, you can pick up a cheap barbell set & 160lbs of weights off amazon. Check if theres one on CL. It takes up like 1/3 of the space of normal equipment & is good for barbell complexes (which are decent cardio exercises as well). If AA isn't you thing, but you want to do some kind of "group" meet up, there is also SMART recovery if you haven't heard of it. They don't use religion as a core of their program. I noticed when I drank I would impulse shop on things I "deserved" or justify buying things that I "need anyways" (like a 9 cup food processor  ). Good on you for being honest & working on it.
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Jul 15, 2015 22:59
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ladyweapon posted:When bodyweight work stops being effective, you can pick up a cheap barbell set & 160lbs of weights off amazon. Check if theres one on CL. It takes up like 1/3 of the space of normal equipment & is good for barbell complexes (which are decent cardio exercises as well). That'd be great, thanks for the barbell idea and the program link; I'll check it out. Yeah pretty much the same way when I drank. Buying unneeded stuff that I'd perhaps entertained normally but said no to otherwise became easily justifiable.
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Jul 16, 2015 16:29
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Knyteguy posted:Huh I'll have to give this a try and see how long I can go for. gently caress man, I wish I could still get superpump 250 in blue raspberry. That stuff was the bomb. New superpump sucks balls so now I'm on N.O. explode.
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Jul 16, 2015 17:34
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BloodBag posted:gently caress man, I wish I could still get superpump 250 in blue raspberry. That stuff was the bomb. New superpump sucks balls so now I'm on N.O. explode. Ah yeah N.O. Explode also, or at least it was the last time I used a pre-workout mix. NO Explode seems to get me itchy now though I'm not sure why. Even if I use like a half scoop. It's probably way past its shelf life I'll have to pick some up when I start doing strength training again.
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Jul 16, 2015 17:57
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The itching is probably from the beta-alanine in no explode. Is there a reason you take pre-workout supplements? If its just for energy, good old fashioned caffeine pills are a heck of a lot cheaper.
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Jul 16, 2015 18:10
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One day at a time is good for alcohol problems, smoking problems, and financial problems. So maybe slow down your thinking a little. It might help.
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Jul 17, 2015 00:40
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Knyteguy posted:Ah yeah N.O. Explode also, or at least it was the last time I used a pre-workout mix. NO Explode seems to get me itchy now though I'm not sure why. Even if I use like a half scoop. It's probably way past its shelf life I'll have to pick some up when I start doing strength training again. Whenever I change pre-workout sups I get all itchy too. Going from superpump 250 to superpump max? Itchy. Trying Jack3D, Itchy, headache, neck locked up. NO explode? Itchy. It goes away after a couple of weeks. But seriously, don't use Jack3D, that poo poo hosed me up so bad I was having palpitations and angina in the gym off of just one scoop.
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Jul 17, 2015 11:35
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ladyweapon posted:The itching is probably from the beta-alanine in no explode. Is there a reason you take pre-workout supplements? If its just for energy, good old fashioned caffeine pills are a heck of a lot cheaper. My understanding was that the caffeine in there gives you energy, but also has the side effects of being a vasoconstrictor, while the nitric oxide would counteract the vasoconstriction allowing for a better workout and recovery time. Quantum Finger posted:One day at a time is good for alcohol problems, smoking problems, and financial problems. So maybe slow down your thinking a little. It might help. Slowing down my thinking is something I really struggle with. I think when I'm exercising it helps. I'll try to work on this. BloodBag posted:Whenever I change pre-workout sups I get all itchy too. Going from superpump 250 to superpump max? Itchy. Trying Jack3D, Itchy, headache, neck locked up. NO explode? Itchy. It goes away after a couple of weeks. But seriously, don't use Jack3D, that poo poo hosed me up so bad I was having palpitations and angina in the gym off of just one scoop. Ah man screw that. That's scary as hell. I'll probably just stick with Blu Raz or Watermelon NO Xplode. Good to know about the itching I was worried I was allergic or something.
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Jul 17, 2015 19:01
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I'm thinking of pulling out all of our savings, and putting it into a bank account solely owned by my grandma. Trust isn't an issue here, and I'm like 90% sure it would protect us against a medical debt bank levy which is the only thing that could wipe us out. Anyone have thoughts on this? We'd lose $25 a month in interest accrual... but so what? So basically it would be giving us a ton of protection for all the saving we've been doing, while still 100% allowing us to pay down debt. And actually some of that $25/mo could be recouped in their other check rewards program which gives like $15 off on Amazon purchases a month (compensated on the 1st). I'd just draw up a contract with my grandma that says if something happens to her (god forbid) then that money is ours. Anything else I'd need to consider maybe? Just until the statute of limitations expires. I'm very likely going to pay this medical debt just to get it off my back, but I don't want to be potentially left in the streets if a few things hit at the same time. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 23:30 on Jul 17, 2015 |
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Jul 17, 2015 23:24
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Dumb. It's a transparent ploy to hide your money from creditors, and one that people have been trying since forever. If you have a contract it's still an asset. And even if you don't, no creditor's lawyer is going to miss that trick and any judge is going to read you the riot act if you try to conceal the transaction in court. Ask a lawyer though cause I ain't one If you really want to do this, the workable approach is to use all your savings to pay down debt and rely on your grandma for emergency money. Buuuut I think that's a terrible idea too. E: seriously, get some ADHD meds slap me silly fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Jul 17, 2015 |
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Jul 17, 2015 23:33
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slap me silly posted:Dumb. It's a transparent ploy to hide your money from creditors, and one that people have been trying since forever. If you have a contract it's still an asset. And even if you don't, no creditor's lawyer is going to miss that trick and any judge is going to read you the riot act if you try to conceal the transaction in court. I don't have ADHD I've looked into it before. If both of those are terrible ideas, then what would be the best path?
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Jul 17, 2015 23:58
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Watch your spending and stick to your budget. That is the best path. It's not complicated. You don't need new ideas or new schemes.
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Jul 18, 2015 00:03
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Knyteguy posted:If both of those are terrible ideas, then what would be the best path? How about the path that people have been recommending since the beginning of the thread, that you are still having trouble getting on?
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Jul 18, 2015 00:04
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foxatee posted:Watch your spending and stick to your budget. That is the best path. It's not complicated. You don't need new ideas or new schemes. slap me silly posted:How about the path that people have been recommending since the beginning of the thread, that you are still having trouble getting on? If what's being said is don't worry about a bank levy, then so be it. I'd at least appreciate that as the answer if that's the case however. I have $21,000 in medical debt, so they could take every dollar without recourse. Scary stuff. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 00:17 on Jul 18, 2015 |
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Jul 18, 2015 00:07
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May I ask why you're suddenly worried about this when you haven't been panicky about it before?
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Jul 18, 2015 00:22
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(1) It requires court proceedings. Have there been court proceedings? (2) You do owe the money... hiding it is probably evidence of bad faith as far as the court is concerned. You have a baby and a problem with spending. Those are far more immediate and demanding issues right now, and you have to deal with them regardless of what your creditors do. What your creditors do is out of your control anyway. So quit distracting yourself with unlikely possibilities. Did you say you have a counselor? This anxiety could be a good thing to talk about. foxatee posted:May I ask why you're suddenly worried about this when you haven't been panicky about it before? 
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Jul 18, 2015 00:23
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You could: Declare Bankruptcy Try to settle the debt for significantly less than $21k Stash all extra money in retirement accounts Stash all extra money in a 529 plan for your child Stash all extra money in home equity (Nevada homestead law) Personally in your shoes, I would aggressively try to settle for somewhere less than $5,000 while at the same time stashing savings in a Vanguard Roth IRA in a very conservative (like 30 stock/70 bond) fund, since you can take the money out whenever.
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Jul 18, 2015 00:25
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Knyteguy posted:If what's being said is don't worry about a bank levy, then so be it. I'd at least appreciate that as the answer if that's the case however. I have $21,000 in medical debt, so they could take every dollar without recourse. Scary stuff. IANAL, and I'm not even THAT well versed on debt collections, but what they are saying, and this fear above, are both true. I have many MANY problems politically as a USian with our healthcare and debt systems. But as of today, that debt is there, and there is a non-zero chance that debt could come into play. Best bet is to keep getting your budget down, so you can save more, and pay it off at some time in the future. Until then, that's still your best option, but yes, you'll also potentially have it come into play before you're ready for it to.
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Jul 18, 2015 00:26
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^ Thanks for the input everyone. I'll give it some thought on how to proceed. SMS I've consulted with my counselor, and his suggestion is again exercise.  Doing a half day hike with my family and my mom tomorrow in the hills behind our houses, so that'll be cool.e: foxatee it's not a new concern at all. I just wanted to finally bring it up. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 00:52 on Jul 18, 2015 |
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Jul 18, 2015 00:43
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No offense but it sounds like your counselor sucks.
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Jul 18, 2015 01:47
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I agree with Droo's advice, settle the debt and put your money in something like Roths. Don't put your savings in your grandmother's name; if the creditors did get a judgment against you that would just make it worse. I can't imagine what the next thing will be to distract this thread from regular budget updates.
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Jul 18, 2015 03:00
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Knyteguy posted:^ Thanks for the input everyone. I'll give it some thought on how to proceed. I never said it was a new concern. We're all aware of the medical debt, but you've never shown this much concern over it. I'm just wondering why this became such a priority all of a sudden.
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Jul 18, 2015 03:01
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You need help. More help than "exercise."
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Jul 18, 2015 06:24
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KG have you decided to go to the envelope system for some of your budget? What is your plan to keep yourself from overspending in your problem areas?
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Jul 18, 2015 06:42
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Also unless you are some kind of world class athlete working with a nutritional expert please stop wasting money on pre-workout supplements.
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Jul 18, 2015 07:43
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Geizkragen posted:Also unless you are some kind of world class athlete working with a nutritional expert please stop wasting money on pre-workout supplements. agreed, you do not need these things
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Jul 18, 2015 08:02
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Knyteguy posted:Slowing down my thinking is something I really struggle with. Knyteguy posted:I'm thinking of pulling out all of our savings, and putting it into a bank account solely owned by my grandma. jfc
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Jul 18, 2015 13:15
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You have more hair-brained schemes than a sitcom dad.
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Jul 18, 2015 18:06
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Dat title change tho KG, if you're worried about the medical bill, let's break it down. - Could you post the breakdown of the $21k? Is that just one huge lump sum to one hospital, or does it break down into individual doctors, services, procedures, etc? - Is there any possibility there are other amounts that may have shown up later, that you missed? Would you be willing to post the name of the hospital where this took place? We can figure out if they have a collections department or not. No collections department might make them easier to wheel and deal with.
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Jul 18, 2015 21:09
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MRC I'll answer that tomorrow when I'm not on my phone. It is one big bill though. There's a few under like $500 for the anesthesiologist, but $21000 is an actual bill from one place for a 2 day stay at the hospital and most of the surgery. For the med bill scheme I made a decision. I will wait until we've put some payments towards the car (not sure when), at which point I will attempt to settle with the medical debt for $5000 or less as advised. At least the collectors will have my current address in case of a court summons. As far as just posting my budget updates and that's it, well I never said I'd do that. Stuff like this does encompass my finances. If you don't want to read detractions from that, then just don't. True blue emergency. $780 vet bill from taking my dogs for a walk on Saturday. It was an accident with my mom's dog and ours that turned out to be my dog's fault. Do never pet. We're prepared at least with our vet fund and some efund. We will still be able to save next month to make up some of this vet bill, and make a payment towards debt. The first extra payment towards the car will likely happen on the first of August. E and I'll hit a couple more points tomorrow as well. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 03:46 on Jul 20, 2015 |
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Jul 20, 2015 03:41
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Knyteguy, please go through this thread and count all the posts recommending you get rid of some or all of your pets.
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Jul 20, 2015 03:43
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No. Don't start the "get rid of pets" thing again.
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Jul 20, 2015 03:55
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Knyteguy posted:MRC I'll answer that tomorrow when I'm not on my phone. It is one big bill though. There's a few under like $500 for the anesthesiologist, but $21000 is an actual bill from one place for a 2 day stay at the hospital and most of the surgery. That sounds a little worrisome. What happened with the dogs? I'm assuming a fight of some kind? Will there potentially be additional bills if things don't recover as planned?
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Jul 20, 2015 04:54
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