Current Events: dudes just chill its gonna be ok

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Current Events: dudes just chill its gonna be ok

«‹›567 »

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

VikingSkull posted:

io9 is kinda good

weeaboo detected

# ? Jul 18, 2015 03:24

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 8, 2024 16:30

USMC503: Jan 15, 2012; For satisfactory performance while under the effects of hostile enemy alcohol.

Life hack is one of my trigger phrases.

# ? Jul 18, 2015 03:29

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

USMC503 posted:

Life hack is one of my trigger phrases.

Having trouble getting up on time?

Set an alarm on your phone to get you up early enough to get where you need to be on time!

#lifehack

# ? Jul 18, 2015 03:29

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Buying food only for it to go bad days later?

Put in the refrigerator.

#lifehack

# ? Jul 18, 2015 03:31

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
Do Crime!

Need to whip up a dessert in a hurry? Dump a bag of oreos on the floor and eat the oreos off of the floor like a animal you piece of poo poo

#lifehack

# ? Jul 18, 2015 03:35

USMC503: Jan 15, 2012; For satisfactory performance while under the effects of hostile enemy alcohol.

Omg. I'm being triggered so hard right now. I'm reporting you! Mods please ban this guy!

# ? Jul 18, 2015 03:36

thetechnoloser: Feb 11, 2003; Say hello to post-apocalyptic fun!; Grimey Drawer

VikingSkull posted:

io9 is kinda good

this. also foxtrot alpha is getting decent, but still really new. half of it's well researched and well-thought-out, the other half... isn't.

# ? Jul 18, 2015 03:36

Woof Blitzer: Dec 29, 2012; [-]

Uh, just read buzzfeed? Wow they say there's no accounting for taste...

# ? Jul 18, 2015 03:43

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

thetechnoloser posted:

this. also foxtrot alpha is getting decent, but still really new. half of it's well researched and well-thought-out, the other half... isn't.

Foxtrot Alpha is hit or miss. Tyler seems to at least put in the effort to know what he's talking about. The other contributors are usually trash.

# ? Jul 18, 2015 03:44

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

gfanikf posted:

Gawker self destructing is glorious.

thought you said grover and was hoping for pics of that piece of poo poo haus falling down

Comrade Blyatlov fucked around with this message at 03:47 on Jul 18, 2015

# ? Jul 18, 2015 03:44

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

Whip Slagcheek posted:

Foxtrot Alpha is hit or miss. Tyler seems to at least put in the effort to know what he's talking about. The other contributors are usually trash.

They keep trotting out their military spy dude like a show dog.

# ? Jul 18, 2015 03:49

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

holocaust bloopers posted:

They keep trotting out their military spy dude like a show dog.

William Arkin is a trigger for me please don't.

# ? Jul 18, 2015 03:50

thetechnoloser: Feb 11, 2003; Say hello to post-apocalyptic fun!; Grimey Drawer

Whip Slagcheek posted:

Foxtrot Alpha is hit or miss. Tyler seems to at least put in the effort to know what he's talking about. The other contributors are usually trash.

Yeah, now that I think about it, if it was just Tyler Roga-way-wich-whatever it'd be just about right.

# ? Jul 18, 2015 03:52

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Two Finger posted:

thought you said grover and was hoping for pics of that piece of poo poo haus falling down

# ? Jul 18, 2015 04:20

LtCol J. Krusinski: May 7, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

The Slithery D posted:

http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/local/army-recruiter-accidentally-shoots-self-leg-gaines/nm2Tp/

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Recruiters should be treated like any other felon and not allowed to own guns or vote.

They serve a purpose, sure. But Jesus, arming those retards is gonna get so many more people killed.

It would be a legit public safety issue. A large one, at that. Assign security personnel to recruiting stations, devise and implement effective training against domestic terrorist threats for our most public facing service members (recruiters, etc) but please god don't let the guys too dumb to avoid recruiter duty have a gun.

My god.

# ? Jul 18, 2015 04:36

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

When you're right, you're right.

# ? Jul 18, 2015 04:54

FIDEL CASHFLOW: Oct 13, 2009

last thing I want to do every drill weekend is stand in line outside the arms room for an hour and a half to sign out a weapon and ammo. then be worried all day that pfc fuckstick isnt going to somehow accidentally shoot me in the back while hes taking a selfie so he can fish for likes and OMG HERO on facebook. then have to stand in line for another hour and a half to turn it back in at the end of the day only to have it kicked back because there was one particle of dust inside the pistol grip and then clean it all over again just so i can stand in line again to turn it in and probably have it kicked back again because the military is literally the most asinine organization on earth

# ? Jul 18, 2015 04:57

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

FIDEL CASHFLOW posted:

last thing I want to do every drill weekend is stand in line outside the arms room for an hour and a half to sign out a weapon and ammo. then be worried all day that pfc fuckstick isnt going to somehow accidentally shoot me in the back while hes taking a selfie so he can fish for likes and OMG HERO on facebook. then have to stand in line for another hour and a half to turn it back in at the end of the day only to have it kicked back because there was one particle of dust inside the pistol grip and then clean it all over again just so i can stand in line again to turn it in and probably have it kicked back again because the military is literally the most asinine organization on earth

listen if you are the reserves or guard then like 50% of your experience there is PMCS or weapon cleaning

# ? Jul 18, 2015 04:59

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

listen if you are the reserves or guard then like 50% of your experience there is PMCS or weapon cleaning

The other 50% is sitting in the auditorium listening to annual briefings and then waiting in final formation for an hour for the CO and 1SG to appear because they've been dicking around in the office.

e: Also being the command team for a HHC has got to be a terrible experience because you can't really tell anybody what to do and nobody respects you.

psydude fucked around with this message at 05:20 on Jul 18, 2015

# ? Jul 18, 2015 05:18

orange juche: Mar 14, 2012

Two Finger posted:

thought you said grover and was hoping for pics of that piece of poo poo haus falling down

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHds3HGzCak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7zPiTHjzVI

# ? Jul 18, 2015 05:23

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

psydude posted:

The other 50% is sitting in the auditorium listening to annual briefings and then waiting in final formation for an hour for the CO and 1SG to appear because they've been dicking around in the office.

my first co was the best since she did everything in her power to get us out of there by 2:30 PM on Sunday.

she was a saint

# ? Jul 18, 2015 05:47

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

orange juche posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHds3HGzCak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7zPiTHjzVI

This will never not be hilarious.

# ? Jul 18, 2015 06:15

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Whip Slagcheek posted:

This will never not be hilarious.

# ? Jul 18, 2015 06:22

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

I like to think grover parachuted into a new account and still posts.

# ? Jul 18, 2015 06:30

ManMythLegend: Aug 18, 2003; I don't believe in anything, I'm just here for the violence.

orange juche posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7zPiTHjzVI

Holy fuckin lol

# ? Jul 18, 2015 06:38

LtCol J. Krusinski: May 7, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

# ? Jul 18, 2015 06:39

Lazy Reservist: Nov 30, 2005; FUBIJAR

orange juche posted:

It's like someone caught the moment he realized what he had done.

Also this.

Lazy Reservist fucked around with this message at 06:53 on Jul 18, 2015

# ? Jul 18, 2015 06:51

LtCol J. Krusinski: May 7, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Grover never left, though.

For real.

Hag's dead though. Buried in his finest 2 for 1 black tailor suit, in an abundance of turquoise, purple, and NASCAR probably within spitting distance (God knows that's still socially acceptable down there like its loving Guangdong province, mind you.) of an un-decked above ground pool.

RIP Hag's, you left a large rear end print to fill in wherever your goony rear end squatted and wheezed for whatever amount of time that isn't just hard to fill, it's rather unpleasant and only a legit butt loving soddomite conditioned to occasionally smashing his glans up against a turd deep inside of another mans body could stand to deal with the stank your moderation left behind.

May you rot in hell, and tell Matty Shep not to worry about his legacy because this guy named Shim has these.. ideas.. about what this new generation of millennials needs to take up re-enacting since the civil war is so pass�, and black face makes "The Last Charge of Michael Brown" dicey for the white kids to take on. So I feel like live action (w/ lots of pyrotechnics and martial arts) dramatization of the Matt Shepoard story have a ton of potential.

We could add a laser show.

:stare:

Just imagine it all. So beautiful. So wonderful. I love you all.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jul 18, 2015 06:59

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

orange juche posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHds3HGzCak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7zPiTHjzVI

needs the picture of the window at the bottom of the staircase

and the description of how he forgot to secure his sewage pipe so when it rained it floated up and broke and flooded his lawn with raw sewage lmao
and the bit where he basically came out and said 'gently caress it, i'll sign this poo poo off myself'

speaking of houses

hey beanison how's beanie acres coming along

Comrade Blyatlov fucked around with this message at 07:25 on Jul 18, 2015

# ? Jul 18, 2015 07:23

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

http://www.ksla.com/story/29576944/...enttype=generic

quote:

EXECUTIVE ORDER NO. BJ 2015 � 13
________________________________________________________________
AUTHORITY TO ARM DESIGNATED LOUISIANA NATIONAL GUARDSMEN
_________________________________________________________________
WHEREAS, Article IV, Section 5 of the Louisiana Constitution establishes the governor as the Commander-in-Chief, and provides
The governor shall be commander-in-chief of the armed forces of the state, except when they are called into service of the federal government. He may call out these forces to preserve law and order, to suppress insurrection, to repel invasion, or in other times of emergency.
WHEREAS, Louisiana Revised Statute 29:7 states that the governor may, with or without a declaration of emergency, order into the active service of the state any part of the National Guard in order to prevent or prepare for terrorist events and, that when so ordered, members of the National Guard on state active duty or USC Title 32 status shall have all of the powers and authority of peace officers as are reasonably necessary to preserve the lives, property, and security of persons within the State of Louisiana;
WHEREAS, on Wednesday morning, July 16, 2015, four United States Marines were killed and numerous others wounded in terrorist attacks on an armed forces recruitment center and Naval Reserves Operational Center in Chattanooga, Tennessee;
WHEREAS, the very uniforms worn by these courageous Marines made them targets of terrorism;
WHEREAS, the State of Louisiana is proud to have many thousands of National Guardsmen who train to respond and protect the citizens and property of our State and their uniforms should not make them targets for terrorism without having the ability to defend themselves and other peaceful, law abiding citizens;
WHEREAS, the Adjutant General of the Louisiana National Guard should identify appropriate members of the National Guard currently ordered to state active duty or USC Title 32 status and issue appropriate orders designating security procedures for members of the National Guard and facilities to have the means of self-defense should such an attack occur in the State of Louisiana.
NOW THEREFORE, I, BOBBY JINDAL, Governor of the State of Louisiana, by virtue of the authority vested by the Constitution and laws of the State of Louisiana, do hereby order and direct as follows:
SECTION 1: In accordance with La. R.S. 29:7, the Adjutant General is authorized and directed to identify and arm certain Guard personnel currently on state active duty or USC Title 32 status as reasonably necessary to preserve the lives, property, and security of themselves and other persons subject to threat of an attack as occurred this week in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
SECTION 2: This Order is effective upon signature and shall remain in effect until amended, modified, terminated, or rescinded by operation of law.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have set my hand officially and caused to be affixed the Great Seal of Louisiana, at the Capitol, in the city of Baton Rouge, on this 17th day of July, 2015.
/s/ Bobby Jindal
GOVERNOR OF LOUISIANA
ATTEST BY
THE GOVERNOR
/s/ Tom Schedler
SECRETARY OF STATE

# ? Jul 18, 2015 07:45

Bolow: Feb 27, 2007

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

http://www.ksla.com/story/29576944/...enttype=generic

Can't the bases go "lol gently caress no you goddamn idiots" anyway?

# ? Jul 18, 2015 07:47

iyaayas01: Feb 19, 2010; Perry'd

Bolow posted:

Can't the bases go "lol gently caress no you goddamn idiots" anyway?

Federal installations? Absolutely.

# ? Jul 18, 2015 08:03

Fister Roboto: Feb 21, 2008

orange juche posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7zPiTHjzVI

pro music choice

# ? Jul 18, 2015 08:22

Larry Parrish: Jul 9, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Bolow posted:

Can't the bases go "lol gently caress no you goddamn idiots" anyway?

Not the Guard

# ? Jul 18, 2015 13:01

Seizure Meat: Jul 23, 2008; by Smythe

Stultus Maximus posted:

weeaboo detected

that's kotaku, io9 is the sci-fi and science one

# ? Jul 18, 2015 13:19

Sax Offender: Sep 9, 2007; College Slice

VikingSkull posted:

that's kotaku, io9 is the sci-fi and science one

I don't know what any of these things are. I am either old and out of touch, or the drat kids are ruining the internet again.

I'm not even going to bother going to urban dictionary to figure out what a weeboo is, because I'm afraid of the answer.

# ? Jul 18, 2015 14:04

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

el manjingo or how ever you spell his dumb name is an example of a weeaboo aka a japanese culture autist

# ? Jul 18, 2015 14:42

Woof Blitzer: Dec 29, 2012; [-]

Better watch out before he does a sick totally not gay jiu jitsu move on you

# ? Jul 18, 2015 14:58

LtCol J. Krusinski: May 7, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Derek- you know those kids who's parents bowl cut their hair and they carry pillows with cartoon characters on them around at all times and they never quite got rid of the whole acne thing?

Me either, and the day I do know one of those kids there'll be a loving hate crime.

But I'm willing to bet you a scheckel that a weaboo is some subset of the Japanophile (Heil Nippon, I suppose) Autist I'm imagining.

P.S. GOD BLESS YOU PAUL "DIMPLES" TIBBET. I HOPE YOUR PART OF HEAVEN IS JUST JAPAN AS A HUGE NUCLEAR BOMBING AND GUNNERY RANGE TO CALIBRATE YOUR INSTRUMENTS ON AND DIAL IN YIELDS ENROUTE TO DOING WHAT THAT PUSSY TRUMAN COULD'NT DO: KILOTONS FOR KOREA AND MEGATONS FOR MANCHURIA. HEIL LEMAY, MAY THE GLORIOUS DOUBLE FLASH IF NUCLEAR CLEANSING BLEACH OUR SOULS, AMEN. :pray:

# ? Jul 18, 2015 15:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 8, 2024 16:30

LtCol J. Krusinski: May 7, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

And this ones for you, Meowlins and ManMythLegend.

:bustem:

Don't let a dude named "Fat Leonard" buy your 26 grand dinner, Admiral.

:bustem:

# ? Jul 18, 2015 15:08

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Current Events: dudes just chill its gonna be ok

«‹›567 »