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volume are you the jagister of christianity
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Jul 19, 2015 07:24
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| # ? May 28, 2024 06:39 |
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absolute best and easiest way to troll christians is to wait for them to say something about jesus and then point out that he's dead then when they insist he came back to life ask them to prove it with the "prove your god exists" thing they can always fall back on philosophical arguments and poo poo but jesus was a person made out of flesh and bone, and everyone knows dead human beings cannot come back to life, and pointing this out makes them mad as gently caress
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Jul 19, 2015 07:36
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TacticalUrbanHomo posted:absolute best and easiest way to troll christians is to wait for them to say something about jesus and then point out that he's dead he is alive in their hearts 
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Jul 19, 2015 08:29
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Ok, I couldn'e be assed to read all of this. So, to help the internet I will answer questions. I was raised as an Apostolic Pentecostal. I even went to one of their loving schools for 6 years. You have any questions about crazy, I have answers about crazy. btw did you know jesus controls the weather? Even if you are the ONE person out of twenty praying for rain he answers yours instead of the other 20 people? loving crazxies. My parents were goood parents, aside from their crazy religious beliefs.I mean they never hit me or abused me, but htey wewre still crazy,
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Jul 19, 2015 08:39
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Jul 19, 2015 18:32
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copyright litigation is the one true satan & (r) is his mark
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Jul 19, 2015 19:27
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See, the kind of church I was raised in, you would not help jesus up. He had to go through all of that so that you can be a little prick every day and ask him to forgive you for it, and lol he has to forgive.
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Jul 20, 2015 04:44
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Volume posted:My 6-Year Old Just Sacrificed 5 People to Satan No joke I hope with everything in me that this person is absolutely right, and that someone out there made a game called "goat simulator" only to have it secretly be a satan-worshiping game designed to fool people into sacrificing virtual goats to the devil
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Jul 21, 2015 00:08
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One of my sons had been dating a girl for a short while, that claimed she was interested in becoming a Christian. The relationship puzzled me, for when he was with her he seemed quite enamored of her. Yet when he was apart from her, he had no interest in her at all. When I went to the Lord with it, He told me to break all witches spells over him, and the next day after doing this, he broke it off with her for good. We then found out later, that she and a friend of hers who was a witch, had placed a spell over my son, to cause him to like her. She never wanted to become a believer. She was already a witch instead.
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Jul 21, 2015 00:17
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Volume posted:One of my sons had been dating a girl for a short while, that claimed she was interested in becoming a Christian. The relationship puzzled me, for when he was with her he seemed quite enamored of her. Yet when he was apart from her, he had no interest in her at all. When I went to the Lord with it, He told me to break all witches spells over him, and the next day after doing this, he broke it off with her for good. We then found out later, that she and a friend of hers who was a witch, had placed a spell over my son, to cause him to like her. She never wanted to become a believer. She was already a witch instead. Jesus loving Christ. Those people are full on delusional.
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Jul 21, 2015 04:40
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Kanthulhu posted:Jesus loving Christ. Those people are full on delusional. No one has yet taken me up on my experiences being raised an apostolic pentecostal. That poo poo is the norm for the people I was raised around
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Jul 21, 2015 05:00
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Howard calls The Da Vinci Code fiction, yet he promoted the film around the country by saying that the film was based upon scholarly research. It's the same old tactic of Satan, that is, to hide a big lie between two truths to deceive people. By claiming the blasphemous film is fiction, it gives them an excuse to give the churches. In reality, tens-of-millions of unsaved people have bought into the lying propaganda. The 1980's game Dungeons And Dragons was just fiction too, which led to thousands of youth committing senseless crimes (even murder) while acting out their fantasy role character in the game. One of Satan's most effective deceptions is to blur the lines of fiction with reality, because the human sub-consciousness can easily confuse the two.
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Jul 22, 2015 00:27
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Volume posted:One of Satan's most effective deceptions is to blur the lines of fiction with reality, because the human sub-consciousness can easily confuse the two. wow.
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Jul 22, 2015 00:51
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spud posted:That girl on the right is forced to wear that hat so christian dad can remember which one is which.
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Jul 22, 2015 03:44
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Crucifixion must be an awful way to die.
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Jul 22, 2015 08:07
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GAINING WEIGHT... posted:No joke I hope with everything in me that this person is absolutely right, and that someone out there made a game called "goat simulator" only to have it secretly be a satan-worshiping game designed to fool people into sacrificing virtual goats to the devil it's a goat sacrificing people to satan, though. a small but important distinction
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Jul 22, 2015 08:13
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Lard Goat posted:No one has yet taken me up on my experiences being raised an apostolic pentecostal. That poo poo is the norm for the people I was raised around 
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Jul 22, 2015 12:49
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Christian doctors have a thrilling task before them. Each new patient presents them with a new challenge. It’s not just a question of science, it’s also a question of God’s will. The wise Christian knows that every physical trial represents a spiritual goal that God wants to accomplish in that person’s life. When He guides patients into our office, we have no idea where they are at in their personal journey with Him. Are they resisting Him or are they being eager learners? Has their physical trial run its course or does God still want them to suffer a while longer? We don’t know, and God isn’t going to share such personal information with us in every case. Ours is just to look to Him to guide us in the role He wants us to play as He carries out His perfect will in another human life. We listen to their story, examine their symptoms, and go with whatever solution the Holy Spirit brings to our minds. Whether it works or not is beside the point—the important part is that we are looking to God to guide us.
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Jul 23, 2015 00:07
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Volume posted:Whether it works or not is beside the point—the important part is that we are looking to God to guide us. I feel like this could be the prelude to a court case that finally demonstrates religious practice is objectively harmful
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Jul 23, 2015 15:54
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"WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED IN 58AD?" Once again, Nero persecuted the Christians for turning the world upside down --- as in 'reversing its poles.' In AD57, [what is now called] Antarctica was at the top of the world --- due North. In AD58, [what is now called] Antarctica was at the bottom of the world --- due South. Nero used that as an excuse to persecute the Christians. Is there any way I can make this any simpler for you?
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Jul 25, 2015 00:53
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Our life here is nothing, I would rather be bit by a rabid dog with rabies.....than to pollute my mind. My soul is at stake putting "fantasy" or "witchcraft" in my mind.....pretty soon you start heading backwards from Christ instead of forward with Him. As a Christian I will not pollute my mind and risk my soul. I know this was directed at Keren.....but I agree with her. I am not saying that if you have watched or read H[arry]P[otter] that you will go to hell, I am saying one thing leads to another and another, then pretty quick you are away from Christ.
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Jul 25, 2015 00:55
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Volume posted:Our life here is nothing, I would rather be bit by a rabid dog with rabies.....than to pollute my mind. My soul is at stake putting "fantasy" or "witchcraft" in my mind.....pretty soon you start heading backwards from Christ instead of forward with Him. As a Christian I will not pollute my mind and risk my soul. I know this was directed at Keren.....but I agree with her. I am not saying that if you have watched or read H[arry]P[otter] that you will go to hell, I am saying one thing leads to another and another, then pretty quick you are away from Christ. My father emailed me that Onion article about Harry Potter and witchcraft as proof that the books are satanic. He is a rabid Christian and thinks the world is 6000 years old and I know this because he cornered me directly after my grandmother's funeral and ranted about it until I left. It's hard for me to accept that people these days genuinely think witchcraft is something real, but they do I guess.
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Jul 25, 2015 01:17
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Jul 25, 2015 02:53
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Phobic Nest posted:I was raised Catholic so I always work harder than coworkers out of a combination of self-guilt-tripping and a misguided feeling of superiority.
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Jul 25, 2015 14:07
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Volume posted:Christian doctors have a thrilling task before them. Each new patient presents them with a new challenge. It’s not just a question of science, it’s also a question of God’s will. The wise Christian knows that every physical trial represents a spiritual goal that God wants to accomplish in that person’s life. When He guides patients into our office, we have no idea where they are at in their personal journey with Him. Are they resisting Him or are they being eager learners? Has their physical trial run its course or does God still want them to suffer a while longer? We don’t know, and God isn’t going to share such personal information with us in every case. Ours is just to look to Him to guide us in the role He wants us to play as He carries out His perfect will in another human life. We listen to their story, examine their symptoms, and go with whatever solution the Holy Spirit brings to our minds. Whether it works or not is beside the point—the important part is that we are looking to God to guide us. Good lord that is frightening. Sometimes I think I'm being an idiot for listing the secular hopsital as my ER of choice even though it's like twice as far as the Catholic one but man you never know
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Jul 25, 2015 15:37
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Why haven't Christain groups and/or Christian doctors invested money into finding out bird blood cures leprosy? There could be a whole new area of medicine that could be lying there undiscovered.
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Jul 25, 2015 16:25
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happyhippy posted:Why haven't Christain groups and/or Christian doctors invested money into finding out bird blood cures leprosy? Same reason they don't go looking for the flood layer; because proving that their beliefs are wrong is the opposite of what their job is
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Jul 25, 2015 17:45
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TacticalUrbanHomo posted:absolute best and easiest way to troll christians is to wait for them to say something about jesus and then point out that he's dead drat, that's badass bro
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Jul 25, 2015 18:43
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Why does jesus want people dead but not unborn fetuses?
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Jul 25, 2015 20:05
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Volume posted:"WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED IN 58AD?" Are they talking about continents shifting or the polarity of Earth's magnetic field reversing  Because the last time the polarity reversed was 780,000 years ago. Then again that's according to NASA and what do stupid scientists know?
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Jul 25, 2015 21:01
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In regards to magic the gathering, this kid once told me he wasn't allowed to play it because it was satanic. I wasn't older than 10 at the time. Nearly a decade later I started playing it and now I run a blue white angel deck.
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Jul 26, 2015 03:24
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The victim, Pamela Beckham, 50, suffered a broken neck and numerous other injuries. Bellevue police initially believed that the driver, Marilyn Perry, 62, was on her cell phone at the time of the accident, or was under the influence of drugs or alcohol. But, the investigation revealed she had not been using her phone and her system was clean. Still, police and prosecutors decided she should be charged with vehicular assault. Authorities said Perry blamed the accident on prayer. She said she had been going through some personal problems and was praying as she drove, occasionally with her head down.
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Jul 26, 2015 22:46
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Volume posted:The victim, Pamela Beckham, 50, suffered a broken neck and numerous other injuries. Bellevue police initially believed that the driver, Marilyn Perry, 62, was on her cell phone at the time of the accident, or was under the influence of drugs or alcohol. But, the investigation revealed she had not been using her phone and her system was clean. Still, police and prosecutors decided she should be charged with vehicular assault. Darl Beckham, Pamela’s husband, said they don’t believe the praying while driving defense. “I don’t believe that for a second, because church-going people are better people than that. For one, they would have made some sort of attempt to at least see if she was okay, or something; they never have.”
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Jul 26, 2015 22:48
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It's funny because people who re-post this are saying that they're better than Jesus' actual disciples.
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Jul 26, 2015 22:59
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Jul 26, 2015 23:35
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testing to see if I win the lottery or Keira Knightley sits on my face
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Jul 27, 2015 05:09
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As a Catholic, who has went to school and worked in Detroit for over 11 years, this whole ordeal makes me very sad. Its heartbreaking... This is not just the funny mockery of my Faith, that they think they are playing with. Instead they are messing with something darker and more dangerous than they could ever imagine. They have absolutely no idea what they are doing and the amount of harm they will bring to this city! Detroit has been through enough!!! Only love, forgiveness, and healing will promote growth. Not to mention their ideology of revenge and only loving those who you deam worthy of love, are distructive and judgemental choices that will only harm. The same evil that infiltrated my Church, trying to destroy it from the inside out, through the sex abuse scandals, will only be unleashed upon this city and destroy a revival we have worked so hard to achieve! I choose love, even if I am not loved in return. I choose to love Jex Blackmore and his friends, because they truly do not know what they do. I am not trying to insult anyone, but its a slippery road they follow, and their choice to consecrate Detroit to evil, is one that will come with detrimental consequences to not just them, but will affect everyone in the long run. Sometimes its easier to think something doesn't exist, to be angry, to try to prove a point, seek attention, but please get creative and do something productive. Satan is very real, hell is seriously not something to joke about or take lightly. It's not just some scarey movie that is over in 90 minutes or that can be shut off at any point when it's not so fun anymore. Oppression and possession are not walks in the park either. Please, don't lead yourself or others there! And don't drag Detroit into an ugly spiritual battle...If you do, there will come a point when you realize you are in over your head, and you will greatly regret it. I don't want that for you, my heart goes out to you. You were created for greater things!! Peace.
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Jul 28, 2015 16:10
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Volume posted:One of Satan's most effective deceptions is to blur the lines of fiction with reality, because the human sub-consciousness can easily confuse the two. If I was Mr. Lucy Fur fallen angel satan guy hell bent on leading mankind into sin i think my overriding objective would be to interfere with any direct communication between God and his people especially if this communication involved political disputes between those vying for earthly power What I'm saying is that if you beleive in any literal translation of the Bible you are basically a satanist whether you like it or not.
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Jul 28, 2015 17:13
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Satan is real. Satan is not a joke. Hail Satan.
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Jul 28, 2015 17:15
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| # ? May 28, 2024 06:39 |
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So, if you can't tell by my signature I am a brony. For those of you who don't know a brony is a male (or female) who is outside the targeted age group (11+) who enjoy the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Yes, it sounds weird but don't knock it till ya try it. There's about 10 mil of us. Anyways, I was confronted today by an atheist who told me that MLP is satanic. I asked him to elaborate and he tells me that the show is satanic because it supports "magic". Now, we all know God is against magic, correct? But here's the thing - the magic God refers to is witchcraft. Not the magic that can come out of a unicorn's horn. Evidently, he's not getting that saying that magic is magic and there's no way around it. So, I was wondering what you fellow Christians have to say on his opinion.
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Jul 29, 2015 06:53
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