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Narciss
Nov 29, 2004

by Cowcaster

Shiki Dan posted:

The story in her own words:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=594_1401381196

Pic (since this is the OKcupid thread, after all)
http://imgur.com/r/TumblrInAction/DnWtS3P

Wow, so these people exist. I can't even laugh at this, that is just sad as hell.

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Jimbo Jaggins
Jul 19, 2013

She hot tho

damn horror queefs
Oct 14, 2005

say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator

I was being sincere.
She is obviously a broken, insane weirdo sadbrained addict and is therefore a perfect fit for most gbs goons

Her being even remotely attractive is just icing on the cake, guy

Papercut
Aug 24, 2005

Fish Cant Hold Gun posted:

red flags so big you can see them from space

She sounds pretty cool.

naem
May 29, 2011

would

sea of losers
Jun 6, 2007

miy mwoiultlh tbreaptpreude ifno srteavtiecr more
i also enjoy The Martix

caberham
Mar 18, 2009

by Smythe
Grimey Drawer
Less sad stuff and more weird stuff:


Squishy Maideleh

quote:

My self-summary
I'm technically married, but we are best friends and roommates, not romantic partners. Yes, he knows I'm on here (he is too). I have two little girls.

I have a BA in history from Russell Sage College and 3/4 of an abandoned Computer Science degree that I'm probably never going to finish. I've been doing the homemaker\mommy thing since leaving school. I'm a really good cook and I can bake pretty well too.

I'm a big old nerd and totally cool with it. I read a lot and argue over the small details of fictional worlds. I game, mostly tabletop stuff because I'm hopelessly bad at videogames, but I keep up with the videogame world as well. I speak Internet Vernacular and meme involuntarily. I spend more time on imgur than is likely healthy. I love science but I hate math.

I don't wear pants. I don't even own a pair (other than PJs). I'm a skirts and dresses girl, but in a casual, comfy way.
What I知 doing with my life
Raising kids, cleaning, cooking, reading, watching British TV, hosting game nights... I'm actually a lot of fun, I promise.
I知 really good at
I make really good brownies.
The first things people usually notice about me
My bright blue eyes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Harry Potter, The Hobbit, anything by Jane Austen except Mansfield Park, interesting non-fiction, dystopian/post-apocalyptic fiction, light sci-fi and fantasy
BONUS Webcomics: Something Positive, xkcd

Movies: Harry Potter, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Robin Hood Men In Tights, The Princess Bride, the new Star Trek movies, Christopher Nolan's Batman movies, Dirty Dancing, The Hobbit movies

Shows: Doctor Who, Firefly, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Orange is the New Black, White Collar, Futurama, American Dad, Peep Show, IT Crowd, The Inbetweeners (UK), Whites, The Guild, Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog, Big Bang Theory, Community

Music: Nerdcore, 90s pop, alternative

Food: Indian, Mexican, Chinese
The six things I could never do without
People to love, my water bottle, a nightlight, books, the Internet, Google Maps
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The zombie apocalypse... I'm not prepared D:

Life, the universe, and everything.
On a typical Friday night I am
Totally depends on who is available to hang out. If all my friends are busy, I'm probably in bed early. Otherwise, board games, drinks, and silliness until the wee hours.
The most private thing I知 willing to admit
I have never had a driver's license. I don't know how to drive and despite the best efforts of countless people I doubt I ever will.

ETA: License acquired! :D
You should message me if
We have things in common and you want to get to know each other.

You want to build a blanket fort and eat pizza and play boardgames in it.

Am I too boring?

caberham
Mar 18, 2009

by Smythe
Grimey Drawer
Ok here's another

silber buffy

quote:

My self-summary
I know we all have our preferences so here is mine, When it comes to men, I ONLY date Black men. Any racist filled messages about my choice to date Black men will not be replied to. I feel sorry that you're wasting your humanity holding such hate in your soul.

I'm looking to start a relationship that leads somewhere. I need someone who can hold a conversation about what's going on in the world. Please be able to use punctuation!!! These are some of the qualities I'm looking for: humor, caring, goals, intelligence, independence, political, honesty, thoughtfulness, loving, compromise, and tall (height).

I have a travel bug. I've been to several countries and plan on several more! I love museums, zoos, aquariums and archeological sites. I like live music, sporting events, comedy clubs, batting cages, volleyball, and hanging out at the beach. I'm politically active in issues of social justice. I'm not always so serious. I'm witty and at times snarky! I like to relax and have fun.

My friends would say I'm full of random knowledge. I share it often! I grew up in Michigan but I've also lived in California. I'm still trying to learn new and fun places to visit in Columbus. Hopefully, you can show me some!
What I知 doing with my life
I'm currently working in Reproductive Health. It's my passion. Yes I can answer a of your questions about STDs and contraception with a straight face. Maybe you should be asking yourself why you can't!
I知 really good at
Taking care of myself, giving advise, sharing random thoughts , planning out my travels!
The first things people usually notice about me
Maybe my curves... I guess the more common answer would be my eyes/smile. I'm also pretty tall (5'11), for a girl!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Let's see, in general I love serial killers, CSI, zombies, vampires, and werewolves. I also love politics, NPR, 60's tv shows, history, and the discovery channel. I love to watch the Detroit Pistons and Red Wings! OOO and I love woman's volleyball

TV: Being Mary Jane,law and order SVU, CSI, True Blood, Dexter, House Hunters, The Penguins of Madagascar, Shark week on Discovery is a must every year, news and world events, Rachel Maddow.

Music: I pretty much listen to everything; rap, pop, rock, r&b, oldies, and country, but not techno.

Movies: pretty much anything but chick flicks. I'm not a big fan of them.
The six things I could never do without
1. Friends
2. Learning
3. Love & sex (yes I said it)
4. Traveling the world
5. A soft bed
6. Humor
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to make the world a better place and my role in that. Disparities, racism, white privlige, male privlige, social determinants of health, and equity vs equality are also on the list
On a typical Friday night I am
Hanging out with friends, watching something cool on history or discovery channel, or falling asleep early because I'm exhausted.
The most private thing I知 willing to admit
Then it wouldn't be private would it! How about I cried (tears of joy) watching Obama's speech after he won the election and reelection!
You should message me if
You want to chat.
You want to show me around the area.
You want to have conversations about social justice and how to end white privilege.
You love NPR

caberham
Mar 18, 2009

by Smythe
Grimey Drawer
Ok I struck gold
cuckold ress liz

quote:

My self-summary
Self proclaimed cuckoldress. I only date black men so white boys need not apply. I have my cuckold and he is the only white man in my life. I play smart and I only play with my cuckold in the room. I like my black Bulls to be hung and thick so if you are less then 8 then you don't need to bother.
What I知 doing with my life
On the prowl for well hung black Bulls to fill me like I need.
I知 really good at
Being a aficionado of black Bulls, welcoming them into my body like the true Queen of spade cuckoldress that I am.
The first things people usually notice about me
My beautiful blue eyes
The six things I could never do without
#1 My cuckold husband
#2 Big Black Bulls
#3 Sex
#4 My E-Cig
#5 My two dogs
#6 My extensive collection of adult toys
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Cuckolding my husband with big black Bulls.
On a typical Friday night I am
On the prowl for some good sex from black Bulls
The most private thing I知 willing to admit
If you haven't figured it out, I'm a cuckoldress and I love black men for sexual partners.
You should message me if
You are a black, confident, secure man and know what our lifestyle is about. My cuckold is mine and not to be mistreated by anyone. If you are not comfortable being around another man while fulfilling my desires then let's not waste our time.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

caberham posted:

Less sad stuff and more weird stuff:


Squishy Maideleh


Am I too boring?
...maaaybe? Seems a little childish to me but eh if they're really in a state where they figured out they shouldn't be romantic and are cool screw it.

Coolness Averted
Feb 20, 2007

oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

LethalGeek posted:

...maaaybe? Seems a little childish to me but eh if they're really in a state where they figured out they shouldn't be romantic and are cool screw it.

Looks more like a broken husk giving in to save their marriage at any cost.
She emphasized no sex not 'legally married but relationship is over' or whatnot.
Remember Ayn Rand made her husband shake her boyfriend's hand any time he came over for a dicking. The husband then left for the bar to cry into his drinks.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

That's why the word "if" is in that sentence I wrote thank you.

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Coolness Averted posted:

Remember Ayn Rand made her husband shake her boyfriend's hand any time he came over for a dicking. The husband then left for the bar to cry into his drinks.
You'd have to already be a broken husk to marry Ayn Rand, though.

Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

caberham posted:

Ok here's another

silber buffy

I particularly liked the "Please be able to use punctuation!!! "

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Sounds like she isn't fat. She is going to get so many dates from guys looking for broken girls.

drat horror queefs posted:

I was being sincere.
She is obviously a broken, insane weirdo sadbrained addict and is therefore a perfect fit for most gbs goons

Her being even remotely attractive is just icing on the cake, guy

Go for it. You can be her new addiction. The sex should be awesome. She was a professional, after all.

tbf, of the too much information posts we've seen on here, hers seems the most sane. Probably because she's not blaming anyone else and still seems optimistic about life. Also doesn't seem to expect anyone to come rescue her. Now that I think about, I'd probably hang out with her.

Edit: Decided to go through ok cupid for stuff for this thread again. Still surprised there aren't nearly as many weirdos as there were last year. Here's one that seems odd though. This and his picture (he looks average) are the only things on his profile:



"Ladies, it is all your fault if you don't enjoy sex with me."--internet dating site guy.

Note: Guys overuse "adventurous" as much as girls do.

Bored fucked around with this message at 21:57 on Jul 21, 2015

toggle
Nov 7, 2005

why is wanderlust such an overused word on profiles? no one says that word in everyday conversation. how are thousands of profiles across the globe using this word to describe their personalities? it is really bizarre when you think about it

and all profiles read the same, on all sites too. a collective online dating website consciousness or some poo poo

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

toggle posted:

why is wanderlust such an overused word on profiles? no one says that word in everyday conversation. how are thousands of profiles across the globe using this word to describe their personalities? it is really bizarre when you think about it

and all profiles read the same, on all sites too. a collective online dating website consciousness or some poo poo

Or, with a lot of guys, they don't write anything at all. Maybe that's one of the reasons guys have to do most of the asking on these sites.

Unrelated:


So many Random caps on Things. Isn't that a Sign of untreated mental Illness? He also likes Erotical,Novels, and Fashion Books.

There was also a pre-op mtf (I'm only searching for males seeking females) that showed up on matches. No clue what the percentages of friend and enemy were. They're a single parent but wrote that they think about their transition. I can't find them right now, or I'd give an exact quote. While it's boring for single parents to list their kids as what they spend a lot of time thinking about, thinking about your transition constantly seems unhealthy when raising your kid. So glad I am not that person, though.

Bored fucked around with this message at 21:56 on Jul 21, 2015

Risky
May 18, 2003

Crazy girl sex is the best sex ever. Strap in and enjoy the ride.

Double wrap that poo poo though.

damn horror queefs
Oct 14, 2005

say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator
how are we supposed to gawk at internet weirdos without pictures

where are rhe loving pics obama
WHWRE R THE FUCKINF PICS

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

drat horror queefs posted:

how are we supposed to gawk at internet weirdos without pictures

where are rhe loving pics obama
WHWRE R THE FUCKINF PICS

I just don't feel like posting pics if they aren't funny. The only one that was kind of funny was the mtf, and that's cause they were wearing a bad wig that looked like some kind of 60's mom wig. Like the one I wore for Halloween one year when I dressed up as Dr. Girlfriend. But with a headband. And they just kind of made me sad.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

"Full Figured"

and poly of course

quote:

You should message me if:

You think I'm cute. (Ok, so shallow on that last one, but what girl doesn't like hearing that!)

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

LethalGeek posted:

"Full Figured"

Accurate I'd say. That figure is as full as it can get!

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Chomp8645 posted:

Accurate I'd say. That figure is as full as it can get!

Max capacity figured

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010

lol this is an actual question on okcupid.

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time
Please put "I want them to see my face," in the text box.

Hobohemian
Sep 30, 2005

by XyloJW

Germstore posted:

Please put "I want them to see my face," in the text box.

:drat:

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Germstore posted:

Please put "I want them to see my face," in the text box.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

Germstore posted:

Please put "I want them to see my face," in the text box.

:vince:

Anthony Chuzzlewit
Oct 26, 2008

good for healthy


Germstore posted:

Please put "I want them to see my face," in the text box.

ahahahah

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
idgi.

anime was right
Jun 27, 2008

death is certain
keep yr cool
please dont plagiarize jokes from bill cosby

caberham
Mar 18, 2009

by Smythe
Grimey Drawer

Germstore posted:

Please put "I want them to see my face," in the text box.

Coolness Averted
Feb 20, 2007

oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

Lawman 0 posted:

lol this is an actual question on okcupid.


:catstare: what

Papercut
Aug 24, 2005

LethalGeek posted:

"Full Figured"

and poly of course

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme

caberham posted:

Ok here's another

silber buffy

lmao

forced interracial marriages will solve racism in america

Bernie2016

cyberia
Jun 24, 2011

Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.
"I have two children but one of them lives in heaven."

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Been debating putting this one up cause I don't want to have some chick's profile getting goon rushed by morons but frankly I don't think it would even show up on her radar:

Mildly NSFW: https://www.okcupid.com/profile/surfergirl_87

The whole thing is a pretty good read, and she must get her pics reported all the time cause I see "so & so put a picture" up all the time on the front page and it's always the same ones.

Huge Lady Pleaser
Jun 17, 2005

hello how r u doing im just looking for ppl 2 chill wit relax go out n have funn if ur looking for da same thing hit me up
Nap Ghost

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌
Well that's apropos. :v:

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5-HT
Oct 17, 2012

LethalGeek posted:

Been debating putting this one up cause I don't want to have some chick's profile getting goon rushed by morons but frankly I don't think it would even show up on her radar:

Mildly NSFW: https://www.okcupid.com/profile/surfergirl_87

The whole thing is a pretty good read, and she must get her pics reported all the time cause I see "so & so put a picture" up all the time on the front page and it's always the same ones.

lmbo. this one is gold, no insight into social etiquette at all.

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