Fathis Munk posted:

And an old classic with bonus artefacting

Nouvelle Vague posted:

Do you need a pill box like that if you only take one pill?

Fathis Munk posted:

Paladinus posted:

What? Diagnosed? Who did what here?

Fathis Munk posted:

goose fleet posted:

goose fleet posted:

goose fleet posted:

Huntersoninski posted:

What's less reasonable is leaving your pills where your 7-year-old sister can access them and apparently telling her they "make you happy," that's a good policy. What is it with people inventing stories that make them look irresponsible?

Wizard of Smart posted:

This is what's commonly referred to as a "joke".

mamelon posted:

I get a good chuckle referring to my meds as "expensive candy," but I totally agree I should stop before my future kids get the wrong idea.

Alternatives:
- "time to feed the meter"
- "Making a deposit into my LIFE. SAVINGS."
- humming the Popeye theme
-"I'm only staying alive to annoy your mother"

dads_work_files posted:

The man isn't even wearing a tie

quote:

No Mower, Mow Problems
RENTAL | NANAIMO, BC, CANADA | BAD BEHAVIOR, MONEY, TECHNOLOGY
(At our equipment rental store we also do repairs on lawn equipment. Each spring, we get slammed when people can’t get their mowers started for that first cut. It’s strictly first come, first served, and customers are told what the approximate wait will be and that we’ll call them when the job is done. I am working in the back area where rental items are returned and fix mowers were kept when a well-dressed man in a very expensive car drove up.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up my mower!”

Me: “Sure, what name was it under?”

Customer: “It’s [Name], and I can see my mower right there.”

Me: “Sure, just let me get the work order on that.”

(I go to the ‘Done’ folder but there’s no work order. I double check the name and number on the tag on the mower, but still can’t find it.)

Me: “Did you get a call saying the mower was done?”

Customer: “No, but you’ve had long enough. I’m a doctor and my time is very important!”

(I check in the shop and find the work order in the mechanic’s “Done” pile, but he hasn’t had time to complete it with parts, prices etc. I return to the customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but it looks like the mechanic has just done the work, but hasn’t totaled the charges on the work order yet. I’m afraid he’s on his lunch break. If you could come back later this afternoon, I’ll make sure he has that ready for you.”

(The customer goes into a tirade about how valuable his time is, and fully expects just to be able to drop in and pick up his mower at his convenience even though he hasn’t been called that it’s ready. With dread I go to the lunchroom, where the mechanic is relaxing after already putting in six hours to keep up with the rush.)

Me: “[Mechanic], there’s a guy to pick up his mower. It’s done, but the work order isn’t completed. He ‘insists.'”

Mechanic: *with a sinister look* “Send him to the counter; I’ll write it up.”

(I overhear the customer giving the mechanic a piece of his mind as the work order is written up, then load the mower into the customer’s car. Afterwards I go to apologize for interrupting the mechanic’s much-needed break.)

Mechanic: “Don’t worry about it. The carb’ on his mower was shot, so I took one off one of the dead machines and rebuilt it. I was going to give it to him for free, but since he was such an a**hole I charged him $50 for it. The guy was actually happy that I had ‘saved’ him money.”

Khazar-khum posted:

This makes no sense at all. Do they do all their work for free?

Murphy Brownback posted:

I've had repair people (car, computer, whatever) not charge me if it was a really easy diagnosis+fix where they don't have to use any new/ordered parts. I don't know how much work replacing a carb on a lawnmower is, but it's not totally out of the realm of possibility. I'm sure the evil rich guy is made up though, or at least heavily embellished - if this person was in the back area, how could they know he was driving a "very expensive car"?

sweeperbravo posted:

I love this thread most of the time but sometimes I wonder if I could just get away with typing up the jokes from an old Reader's Digest.

ElGroucho posted:

LOL if anyone thinks a doctor is going to mow/run maintenance on his yard

jodai posted:

Aren't a lot of the joke columns in Readers Digest presented as really happening? I'm specifically thinking of Humor in Uniform, where that marine story would have probably fit. I might be mistaken.

jodai posted:

Aren't a lot of the joke columns in Readers Digest presented as really happening? I'm specifically thinking of Humor in Uniform, where that marine story would have probably fit. I might be mistaken.

ibntumart posted:

The All In a Day's Work jokes, too. And yeah, they're mostly rehashed stories that were jokes to begin with. Not a bad trick pre-Google and widespread internet, though: someone could take a joke they heard, add in some details to flesh it out into a story, and send it in as crazy poo poo that (didn't) happened at work or on base or whatever.

Mind you, you'd be paid for it. Nowadays people do the same thing online for the sweet upvotes, I guess.

sweeperbravo posted:

*Not that people can't invent things with a lot of detail obviously, but it's much easier to do that now with things like imgur than go through the whole trouble of writing/typing up some made-up story and possibly wasting a stamp on something that isn't even guaranteed to make it into the magazine, and whose praises you will never hear sung or have any audience feedback on.

quote:

 a well-dressed man in a very expensive car drove up.) 

poisonpill posted:

Yelp review: 1/5 stars
terrible service, unhelpful staff
Dropped my lawn mower off in the morning, was told I could pick it up "after lunch" because it was "an easy fix." I came back at one thirty and was told the mower was finished, but the owner was still "out to lunch" and couldn't total up the costs for me. I explained that, as a medical resident, I only had this hour between twelve hour shifts and that I'd been told I could come back after lunch. The guy behind the counter seemed to take a huge amount of offense at this, and said I should have waited for a call. He went into the back, where the shop owner had just finished his sandwich, and they came out. Then, when totaling out the cost, he said he was adding another $50 on over the estimate because he "put a rebuilt carburetor" in it. I felt like I was being ripped off, but barely had time to pay and load the mower into the back of my '93 F150 before making it back to the hospital in time for my next shift. I will NOT be going back.

quote:

One Act Of Immaturity Begets Another
HIGH SCHOOL | ANTWERP, BELGIUM | PARENTS, TEACHERS
(Several students received a failed grade and the teacher wanted to teach us a lesson.)

Teacher: “Take your diary and note: ‘I am a dumba**’ and have it signed by one of your parents by tomorrow.”

(My mother was not amused and after her initial refusal to sign she changed her mind and took my diary. The next day, I got detention due to her reply – not that I served it.)

Reply: “Maybe you are, but I’m not.”

Khazar-khum posted:

HOOLY BOOLY posted:

Yep that dog definitely looks like it's been crawling through a barbed wire fence. That baby certainly looks like it's been abandoned in the woods. Yes sir this certainly happened right guys?

HOOLY BOOLY posted:

Yep that dog definitely looks like it's been crawling through a barbed wire fence. That baby certainly looks like it's been abandoned in the woods. Yes sir this certainly happened right guys?

HOOLY BOOLY posted:

Yep that dog definitely looks like it's been crawling through a barbed wire fence. That baby certainly looks like it's been abandoned in the woods. Yes sir this certainly happened right guys?