okcupid.txt

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Hobohemian: Sep 30, 2005; by XyloJW

Sheep-Goats posted:

I ran into a lot of people like that in group homes and state assisted living facilities and things like that as a paramedic. They usually have actual real life mental problems. Not so bad that they can't work in a factory or in the back of a McDonalds or something, but bad enough that if they enter a real world where once in a while it's knives out in some sense they get ground up. Just like functional people some of them are assholes and some of them are good people.

That lady is an undateable pile but her bird is in good shape and I bet she's nice to it. That alone probably makes her a better person than some of the girls I've boned.

Still not dating her though.

95% of my success in life comes not from hard work but having an okay head start and normal brain chemistry.

Woah, way to bum me out. I knew it would be depressing but after reading that I'm legit sad.

# ? Jul 27, 2015 20:54

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# ? May 14, 2024 12:18

toggle: Nov 7, 2005

Hobohemian posted:

Woah, way to bum me out. I knew it would be depressing but after reading that I'm legit sad.

the bird will be truly loved and cared for until it escapes outside when she's cleaning it's cage .. :smith:

# ? Jul 27, 2015 21:38

Crashbee: May 15, 2007; Stupid people are great at winning arguments, because they're too stupid to realize they've lost.

toggle posted:

the bird will be truly loved and cared for until it escapes outside when she's cleaning it's cage ..

What makes you think that will happen?

# ? Jul 27, 2015 21:46

toggle: Nov 7, 2005

god's will?

# ? Jul 27, 2015 21:52

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

I had four cockateils over the course of my childhood (two in sequence then two at once, the second one met an untimely accidental end due to my brother stepping on him) and they always escape at some point and you have to walk after them in the neighborhood then ask a neighbor to borrow a ladder so you can go up the tree to get them, at which time they happily hop on your finger and sit on your shoulder as you walk back to the house, then you put on leather gloves if they're a bitey one and trim their wings. They're fairly curious animals and like to look in holes and under the couch and after a long winter they see the front door is open and you haven't clipped their wings because you're not taking them outside in the winter anyway and they fly out the door like a lightning bolt as they are the fastest flying bird native to Australia.

Will the fat OKC lady have the ability to follow her bird when it inevitably escapes? She will probably try but give up when she sees him fly over a rooftop and disappear from sight.

raton fucked around with this message at 22:24 on Jul 27, 2015

# ? Jul 27, 2015 22:20

neonbregna: Aug 20, 2007

Hobohemian posted:

Pretty sure that is wrestling legend The Undertaker pre hat phase.

I believe it is roman reigns and dean Ambrose below him

# ? Jul 28, 2015 00:22

Aydjile: Oct 13, 2013; Survive Adapt Improve

her - You could text me, so I don't have to sign back on here.

me - hmm.., you've stated in your profile that you are very much "disinterested" in casual sex/fun. but for me good sex is very important part of any connection. i am very lusty and sexual creature; so i don't really see how that anything would work out between us.

her - Sorry, I don't hop into bed with strange men if that's your expectation or hope. My goal is looking for a strictly monogamous relationship after a few months of dating. At that point a physical relationship and that's if I feel respected and it's going well up to that point.

me - i would recommend to take man's priorities into consideration also. i can't speak for all men around; but as far as i know - majority of adequate and healthy guys who have active and normal sexual lifestyle would not initiate a relationship with a woman of their liking; without learning first if she is sexualy compatible with him.

her - My right man will want to be intimate when I want to be. Because that's how much he loves me. Your loss.
And furthermore, the way you write English, I don't even think these are your pictures. Just a fake foreign profile.

me - when you want him to be? that would be very impressive; if you would be able carouse, coerce or intimidate your man into having an erection upon you.
but allow me to express doubt; if you really had such talents - you wouldn't be on this site if the first place. but surrounded by many fine man begging for your attention.
but the reality is much harsher - you already 35 and still single with disgust for sweet and gentle sex and good 'old rough loving.
your mentality of how the "correct" relationship should be will keep you single and heart broken until its too late.
please hear me - don't waste the priceless time on your ego and self-centrism, it haven't brought you any good so far. the problem could be yours and not in - "all men are pigs." i am telling you this because if you won't change in the next five years - everything remains the same in your life and in the end - everybody loses.
and it's so hard to believe that i could be a literate individual? regardless; your insult about my english i'll take as compliment. ))

her - Tell all that to your mother sister or daughter. You have NO respect

# ? Jul 28, 2015 00:45

Hobohemian: Sep 30, 2005; by XyloJW

Aydjile posted:

her - You could text me, so I don't have to sign back on here.

me - hmm.., you've stated in your profile that you are very much "disinterested" in casual sex/fun. but for me good sex is very important part of any connection. i am very lusty and sexual creature; so i don't really see how that anything would work out between us.

her - Sorry, I don't hop into bed with strange men if that's your expectation or hope. My goal is looking for a strictly monogamous relationship after a few months of dating. At that point a physical relationship and that's if I feel respected and it's going well up to that point.

me - i would recommend to take man's priorities into consideration also. i can't speak for all men around; but as far as i know - majority of adequate and healthy guys who have active and normal sexual lifestyle would not initiate a relationship with a woman of their liking; without learning first if she is sexualy compatible with him.

her - My right man will want to be intimate when I want to be. Because that's how much he loves me. Your loss.
And furthermore, the way you write English, I don't even think these are your pictures. Just a fake foreign profile.

me - when you want him to be? that would be very impressive; if you would be able carouse, coerce or intimidate your man into having an erection upon you.
but allow me to express doubt; if you really had such talents - you wouldn't be on this site if the first place. but surrounded by many fine man begging for your attention.
but the reality is much harsher - you already 35 and still single with disgust for sweet and gentle sex and good 'old rough loving.
your mentality of how the "correct" relationship should be will keep you single and heart broken until its too late.
please hear me - don't waste the priceless time on your ego and self-centrism, it haven't brought you any good so far. the problem could be yours and not in - "all men are pigs." i am telling you this because if you won't change in the next five years - everything remains the same in your life and in the end - everybody loses.
and it's so hard to believe that i could be a literate individual? regardless; your insult about my english i'll take as compliment. ))

her - Tell all that to your mother sister or daughter. You have NO respect

That girl would have banged you if you could manage to conceal your crippling autism for 5 loving minutes.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 01:05

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

Hobohemian posted:

That girl would have banged you if you could manage to conceal your crippling autism for 5 loving minutes.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 01:07

Noctone: Oct 25, 2005; XO til we overdose..

she sounds like a bit of a pill to date, but you sound like a gigantic suppository

# ? Jul 28, 2015 01:08

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Hobohemian posted:

That girl would have banged you if you could manage to conceal your crippling autism for 5 loving minutes.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 01:09

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Aydjile posted:

me - when you want him to be? that would be very impressive; if you would be able carouse, coerce or intimidate your man into having an erection upon you.
but allow me to express doubt; if you really had such talents - you wouldn't be on this site if the first place. but surrounded by many fine man begging for your attention.
but the reality is much harsher - you already 35 and still single with disgust for sweet and gentle sex and good 'old rough loving.
your mentality of how the "correct" relationship should be will keep you single and heart broken until its too late.
please hear me - don't waste the priceless time on your ego and self-centrism, it haven't brought you any good so far. the problem could be yours and not in - "all men are pigs." i am telling you this because if you won't change in the next five years - everything remains the same in your life and in the end - everybody loses.
and it's so hard to believe that i could be a literate individual? regardless; your insult about my english i'll take as compliment. ))

You seriously sound like you learned english from google translate here.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 01:22

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

neonbregna posted:

I believe it is roman reigns and dean Ambrose below him

She's probably the only person that feels Roman reigns deserved that belt

# ? Jul 28, 2015 01:28

Coolness Averted: Feb 20, 2007; oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

Aydjile posted:

her - You could text me, so I don't have to sign back on here.

me - hmm.., you've stated in your profile that you are very much "disinterested" in casual sex/fun. but for me good sex is very important part of any connection. i am very lusty and sexual creature; so i don't really see how that anything would work out between us.

her - Sorry, I don't hop into bed with strange men if that's your expectation or hope. My goal is looking for a strictly monogamous relationship after a few months of dating. At that point a physical relationship and that's if I feel respected and it's going well up to that point.

me - i would recommend to take man's priorities into consideration also. i can't speak for all men around; but as far as i know - majority of adequate and healthy guys who have active and normal sexual lifestyle would not initiate a relationship with a woman of their liking; without learning first if she is sexualy compatible with him.

her - My right man will want to be intimate when I want to be. Because that's how much he loves me. Your loss.
And furthermore, the way you write English, I don't even think these are your pictures. Just a fake foreign profile.

me - when you want him to be? that would be very impressive; if you would be able carouse, coerce or intimidate your man into having an erection upon you.
but allow me to express doubt; if you really had such talents - you wouldn't be on this site if the first place. but surrounded by many fine man begging for your attention.
but the reality is much harsher - you already 35 and still single with disgust for sweet and gentle sex and good 'old rough loving.
your mentality of how the "correct" relationship should be will keep you single and heart broken until its too late.
please hear me - don't waste the priceless time on your ego and self-centrism, it haven't brought you any good so far. the problem could be yours and not in - "all men are pigs." i am telling you this because if you won't change in the next five years - everything remains the same in your life and in the end - everybody loses.
and it's so hard to believe that i could be a literate individual? regardless; your insult about my english i'll take as compliment. ))

her - Tell all that to your mother sister or daughter. You have NO respect

gently caress the haters, I want to see more of your okcupid chatlogs.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 02:01

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Erection on you is a good name

# ? Jul 28, 2015 02:13

Coolie Ghost: Jan 16, 2013; sensible dissent dispenser

Mods plz change my name to Erection On You tia

# ? Jul 28, 2015 02:17

The Puppet Master: Apr 9, 2005; Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard.

Aydjile posted:

her - You could text me, so I don't have to sign back on here.

me - hmm.., you've stated in your profile that you are very much "disinterested" in casual sex/fun. but for me good sex is very important part of any connection. i am very lusty and sexual creature; so i don't really see how that anything would work out between us.

her - Sorry, I don't hop into bed with strange men if that's your expectation or hope. My goal is looking for a strictly monogamous relationship after a few months of dating. At that point a physical relationship and that's if I feel respected and it's going well up to that point.

me - i would recommend to take man's priorities into consideration also. i can't speak for all men around; but as far as i know - majority of adequate and healthy guys who have active and normal sexual lifestyle would not initiate a relationship with a woman of their liking; without learning first if she is sexualy compatible with him.

her - My right man will want to be intimate when I want to be. Because that's how much he loves me. Your loss.
And furthermore, the way you write English, I don't even think these are your pictures. Just a fake foreign profile.

me - when you want him to be? that would be very impressive; if you would be able carouse, coerce or intimidate your man into having an erection upon you.
but allow me to express doubt; if you really had such talents - you wouldn't be on this site if the first place. but surrounded by many fine man begging for your attention.
but the reality is much harsher - you already 35 and still single with disgust for sweet and gentle sex and good 'old rough loving.
your mentality of how the "correct" relationship should be will keep you single and heart broken until its too late.
please hear me - don't waste the priceless time on your ego and self-centrism, it haven't brought you any good so far. the problem could be yours and not in - "all men are pigs." i am telling you this because if you won't change in the next five years - everything remains the same in your life and in the end - everybody loses.
and it's so hard to believe that i could be a literate individual? regardless; your insult about my english i'll take as compliment. ))

her - Tell all that to your mother sister or daughter. You have NO respect

Screencap or fake

# ? Jul 28, 2015 02:32

WIFEY WATCHDOG: Jun 25, 2012; Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.

Da fuk

# ? Jul 28, 2015 03:41

Risky: May 18, 2003

Hobohemian posted:

That girl would have banged you if you could manage to conceal your crippling autism for 5 loving minutes.

Seriously dude. WTF, you had her at the point where you were texting her phone. :psyduck:

That's a good sign she's into you and you know all that waiting for months before intimacy is complete bullshit.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 05:44

anime was right: Jun 27, 2008; death is certain
keep yr cool

"i dont gently caress on the first date" is the "junior job title, 5 years experience required" of dating

# ? Jul 28, 2015 05:48

anime was right: Jun 27, 2008; death is certain
keep yr cool

sometimes its true but its oftentimes just a front to scare off the meek

# ? Jul 28, 2015 05:49

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

good job awkwardly pressing to get her entrenched in a polite and harmless social fiction about online datingn instead of getting her offered number and grabbing drinks or w/e like a normal person and seeing how things go, I guess?

# ? Jul 28, 2015 08:08

Coolness Averted: Feb 20, 2007; oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

quote:

My self-summary
I'd rather you learn things about me in conversation, or better yet, in person, so I'm going to tell you some things that are NOT about me to get them out of the way.
-I am not a domme, so dont ask. I'm not looking for a sub, a slave, or a pet. Please go make yourself a fetlife profile instead of bothering me here.
-I am not a fan of nicknames based off appearance: please don't call me beautiful, sexy, cutie, or anything of the sort. You can ask me my name, and then you can call me that.
- I may vaguely resemble one, but I am not a manic pixie dreamgirl, nor am I quirky, nor do I possess any other personality traits in common with Zoe Deschanel.
- I am not making this profile drunk. (That one's a lie. I am absolutely drunk right now.)
What I�m doing with my life
Recently decided it to say gently caress it to my original plan, so now I'm saving up towards the next one.

I've started hiking a lot in an attempt to give myself breaks from this godforsaken city. (No Runyon doesn't count. Runyon is bullshit. Malibu counts. Mount Baldy counts. Get me at least an hour out of LA please.)

The rest of the time I'm working on setting the world record for number of exasperated eye-rolls in a single day as a feminist working in the film industry.
I�m really good at
art and poo poo
building poo poo
fixing poo poo
singing poo poo
not giving a poo poo
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Outlander series, ASOIAF, Enderverse and Shadow series, World War Z, Watchmen, The Kingkiller Chronicles, His Dark Materials
Comics: Aquaman (New 52), Transformers: MTMTE & RID, Saga, Hawkeye (Fraction), Y: The Last Man

Movies: Mad Max: Fury Road, Avatar, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Looper, The Lion King, Edge of Tomorrow, Lucky # Slevin, Pacific Rim, GOTG, Trainwreck

Shows: Outlander, Sense8, Hannibal, Vikings, Arrow, The Flash, Banshee, Sherlock, Agents of Shield, Agent Carter, Parks and Rec, Daredevil, Alone

Music: just about anything I can sing along to
The six things I could never do without
ferro rod
metal pot
knife
paracord
wool socks
good boots
I spend a lot of time thinking about
gone girling myself and living in the woods
On a typical Friday night I am
wishing i was camping
You should message me if
youre not going to super annoy me.

you want to go silent hiking with me. thats where we hike together but we dont talk and i just listen to my audiobook.

also I'm about as feminist as they come so don't waste my time if you can't deal with that.

bonus points if you know the username reference.

The whole 'bitch shield' thing always comes across more as a 'banal shield' to me in online dating. Like yeah that makes sense at a bar, or otherwise out in the real world where you're not always on the prowl.
The whole loving point of online dating is to find a date. Folks pretending they're above that is worse than the generic "I like adventures, music and travel!"

edit: Of course this is a mid 20's, special snowflake genderfluid queer woman who is heterosexual and making it even worse her username is so generic it might as well be "yes, and?"

Coolness Averted fucked around with this message at 09:48 on Jul 28, 2015

# ? Jul 28, 2015 09:33

2DCAT: Jun 25, 2015; pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssss sssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssss; Gravy Boat 2k

Hobohemian posted:

That girl would have banged you if you could manage to conceal your crippling autism for 5 loving minutes.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 10:13

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

I don't know whether I'm rooting for him posting a source and making everyone else look reactionary or for that to have been something that a person genuinely thought was a good idea to post in this thread. I'm leaning towards the former, but it's not like people haven't recently decided that this was the place to choose their relationship dysfunction hill to die on in.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 10:32

Aydjile: Oct 13, 2013; Survive Adapt Improve

The Puppet Master posted:

Screencap or fake

sometimes i just women to partake in creation of a relationship, instead of passive consumption of comfort and entertainment.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 11:52

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

While there is none visible on your head, there is a massive fedora in your heart.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 12:34

old fat bird: Oct 27, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Goons outing themselves sinking potential gently caress sessions is funnier than the tumblr chicks from Oregon

# ? Jul 28, 2015 12:42

Zen Punk: Dec 26, 2005; interfaced

You are most beautiful m'lady. A thousand erections be upon you!

# ? Jul 28, 2015 12:46

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

Breetai posted:

While there is none visible on your head, there is a massive fedora in your heart.

Fedoras in the heart cannot be tipped

# ? Jul 28, 2015 13:10

HerStuddMuffin: Aug 10, 2014; YOSPOS

Coolness Averted posted:

you want to go silent hiking with me. thats where we hike together but we dont talk and i just listen to my audiobook.

Hey, I've dated this girl! We went on a silent hike together. Well, not quite together, we weren't on the same trail. And it wasn't on the same day. But to be fair there's no way she could have told the difference.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 13:55

Lawman 0: Aug 17, 2010

quote:

Also, since people keep asking, I just got out of a very serious relationship and we live together. I'm trying to change my living situation, but it will take time.

I'll come back to this one in a few months.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 15:33

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

LOU BEGAS MUSTACHE posted:

"i dont gently caress on the first date" is the "junior job title, 5 years experience required" of dating

This is my dood right here

# ? Jul 28, 2015 15:36

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

Breetai posted:

While there is none visible on your head, there is a massive fedora in your heart.

M'aorta

# ? Jul 28, 2015 17:26

revdrkevind: Dec 15, 2013; ASK ME ABOUT MY TINY DICK

also my opinion on

OKC girl posted:

NO CIS MEN
NO CIS MEN
NO CIS MEN

# ? Jul 28, 2015 17:50

neonbregna: Aug 20, 2007

Lawman 0 posted:

I'll come back to this one in a few months.

Why wait it's the perfect chance to be the cucker

# ? Jul 28, 2015 17:54

Shumagorath: Jun 6, 2001

quote:

I spend a lot of time thinking about
gone girling myself and living in the woods

living in the woods is less Gone Girl and more Unabomber

# ? Jul 28, 2015 18:50

NotWearingPants: Jan 3, 2006; by Nyc_Tattoo; Nap Ghost

If someone lists "Blistex" as one of the six things she cannot live without, is that a tactful way of saying "I have herpes"?

# ? Jul 28, 2015 20:02

Coolness Averted: Feb 20, 2007; oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

no way plenty of ladies and dudes have chapped lips, especially in the winter or areas that are dry instead of humid

# ? Jul 28, 2015 20:20

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 12:18

The Midniter: Jul 9, 2001

NotWearingPants posted:

If someone lists "Blistex" as one of the six things she cannot live without, is that a tactful way of saying "I have herpes"?

Ugh, it may as well, if they're using loving Blistex instead of Chapstick� Moisturizer 12 SPF lip balm. Utterly disgusting.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 21:33

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