tech bubble: Make someone ugly cry. Adobe can help.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > tech bubble: Make someone ugly cry. Adobe can help.

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Moist von Lipwig: Oct 28, 2006; by FactsAreUseless; Tortured By Flan

Tusen Takk posted:

twins own

twinzone

my wife and sil are identical so sometimes when my wife's sister would borrow an outfit from my wife I would goose the wrong twin and that was awkward but that's the only negative that I can think of as long as you have some sort of social skills

lmao

identical twins here too, pretty sure I could tell them apart no matter what

# ? Jul 31, 2015 20:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 22, 2024 17:04

Chris Knight: Jun 5, 2002; me @ ur posts; Fun Shoe

Main Paineframe posted:

beep boop i have already decided that my child will be a computer programmer, the most superior occupation. i do not see any reason why they need to waste another second of their life learning about inferior, less rational fields of study like art or english or history or gym. learning about programming will teach them logic, the only true knowledge they will ever need. beep boop. either i am poor and miserable and believe that forcing my child into programming will make them rich so i can live vicariously through them as long as i personally make sure they are the best programmer ever, or i am a programmer myself who is angry my child is not super interested in everything i do anymore and want to force them into my career so we will always understand each other and they will never leave me. beep boop. wait...are these...tears...

or just dunning-krugering the tardis

like the doctor who breast feeds her 8 and 5 year olds

# ? Jul 31, 2015 20:22

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

BangersInMyKnickers posted:

cool so a bunch of kids in maine get hit by people backing out of driveways. good to know. A+, shaggar approved.

idk why that would be specific to maine

# ? Jul 31, 2015 20:23

Jenny Agutter: Mar 18, 2009

Main Paineframe posted:

lol

"i quit my job because i was worried they'd pay me so well that i'd abandon my plan of quitting after a couple of years"

a scathing indictment

its like crab mentality but he keeps grabbing his own leg. what a weird broken person

# ? Jul 31, 2015 20:32

Mr. Apollo: Nov 8, 2000

SoulCycle filed for an IPO.

http://www.businessinsider.com/cringeworthy-soulcycle-ipo-filing-2015-7

quote:

SoulCycle, the cycling gym and owner of a clothing line, is going public, and the filing paperwork is, in a word, cringeworthy.
If you're not into platitudes about the body and mind and finding yourself with the help of a loving exercise community, do not read beyond this point.

Here's a snippet from the filing's summary:

Our Soul

We Aspire to Inspire. Our mission is to bring Soul to the people. SoulCycle instructors guide riders through an inspirational, meditative fitness experience designed to benefit the body, mind and soul. Set in a dark, candlelit room to high-energy music, our riders move in unison as a pack to the beat, and follow the cues and choreography of the instructor. The experience is tribal. It is primal. And it is fun.

Our classes follow a signature format, yet every SoulCycle experience is unique ... Based on the impact we�ve had on our riders� physical and mental well-being, we believe SoulCycle is more than a business, it�s a movement.

Your Soul Matters. We are a �culture of yes.� Our core values are service and hospitality. We believe every ride matters; every rider matters. All of our employees complete initial, as well as ongoing, hospitality training at our �Soul University� to ensure exceptional service across the organization ...

Pack. Tribe. Community. At SoulCycle, our riders feed off the group�s shared energy and motivation to push themselves to their greatest potential. In becoming part of our community, our riders are instilled with greater awareness of not only their bodies but also their emotions. We believe this awareness leads to healthier decisions, relationships and lives. We are not a business that values only transactions, rather we create a community that cultivates and sustains relationships. Our immersive culture of inspiration and empowerment contributes to the engaged and connected rider base in each of our studios.

Once this hit the internet, the Twitter crowd took to pulling out lines, with several noting that the descriptions made the company sound like a cult.

SoulCycle declined to comment beyond the filing, citing the pre-IPO quiet period.

Goldman Sachs, Cowen, William Blair, Bank of America Merrill Lynch, Citi, and RBC are handling the IPO.

Hopefully they like tribal experiences.

They also capitalized FUN throughout the prospectus.

# ? Jul 31, 2015 20:43

Enderzero: Jun 19, 2001; The snowflake button makes it
cold cold cold
Set temperature makes it
hold hold hold

Busta Chimes.wav posted:

its like crab mentality but he keeps grabbing his own leg. what a weird broken person

HN:
Anthropomorphize much?
Are the crabs aware of their situation? Are they actually consciously preventing the other crabs from escaping? Or are they just trying to grab on to anything they can get get out of the crab-pile?
Seems like a deeply flawed metaphor that will likely lead you astray.

# ? Jul 31, 2015 20:44

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

i like the financial planner who quit b/c her relative wealth would go down

it's a fairly well-known phenomenon

A is waiting in line at a movie theater. When he gets to the ticket window, he is told that as he is the 100,000th customer of the theater, he has just won $100.

B is waiting in line at a different theater. The man in front of him wins $1,000 for being the 1-millionth customer of the theater. Mr. B wins $150.

Amazingly, most people said that they would prefer to be A. In other words, they would rather forgo $50 in order to alleviate the feeling of regret that comes with not winning the thousand bucks. Essentially, they were willing to pay $50 for regret therapy.

# ? Jul 31, 2015 20:46

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

Mr. Apollo posted:

SoulCycle filed for an IPO.

http://www.businessinsider.com/cringeworthy-soulcycle-ipo-filing-2015-7

They also capitalized FUN throughout the prospectus.

what the gently caress is this

# ? Jul 31, 2015 20:51

FAT32 SHAMER: Aug 16, 2012

PLATONIC ANAL VORE posted:

lmao

identical twins here too, pretty sure I could tell them apart no matter what

oh yeah, I could tell them apart from the front easy, but sneaking up behind for the ultimate goose, not so much

# ? Jul 31, 2015 20:52

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

Luigi Thirty posted:

what the gently caress is this

$35 spin class in the dark with hot edm beats

# ? Jul 31, 2015 20:54

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

i thought goosing someone meant that you pinched the taint

# ? Jul 31, 2015 20:54

Optimus_Rhyme: Apr 15, 2007; are you that mainframe hacker guy?

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

i thought goosing someone meant that you pinched the taint

i found the other homeschooled person

# ? Jul 31, 2015 20:58

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

sadly, i was public-schooled in southern louisiana which is certainly worse

# ? Jul 31, 2015 20:59

Lamont Cranston: Sep 1, 2006; how do i shot foam

Mr. Apollo posted:

SoulCycle filed for an IPO.

http://www.businessinsider.com/cringeworthy-soulcycle-ipo-filing-2015-7

They also capitalized FUN throughout the prospectus.

wait so that thing from kimmy schmidt is real

# ? Jul 31, 2015 21:03

Mr. Apollo: Nov 8, 2000

Optimus_Rhyme posted:

i found the other homeschooled person

its the first definition on urban dictiony

# ? Jul 31, 2015 21:05

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Luigi Thirty posted:

what the gently caress is this

every organized exercise company wanting to be crossfit.

# ? Jul 31, 2015 21:19

leftist heap: Feb 28, 2013; Fun Shoe

the talent deficit posted:

this is only tangentially tech related but the ny times interviewed some of the worst people in the world for this piece

this combined with the article posted earlier about how people have ridiculous amounts of misplaced loyalty to their employers while receiving none in return make for depressing reads

# ? Jul 31, 2015 21:22

Cocoa Crispies: Jul 20, 2001; Vehicular Manslaughter!; Pillbug

rrrrrrrrrrrt posted:

this combined with the article posted earlier about how people have ridiculous amounts of misplaced loyalty to their employers while receiving none in return make for depressing reads

if i become a job creator i'm going to make sure employees know they don't owe me poo poo i don't pay them for, especially loyalty

# ? Jul 31, 2015 21:24

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

frankly im shocked that the socially maladjusted wierdo who posted a pic of himself inside of a dog kennel online and continuously posts the most boring drivel with the most boring and fail authors voice was homeschooled

# ? Jul 31, 2015 21:40

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

i was homeschooled.
:c00l:

you dont say?

# ? Jul 31, 2015 21:41

Jenny Agutter: Mar 18, 2009

rrrrrrrrrrrt posted:

this combined with the article posted earlier about how people have ridiculous amounts of misplaced loyalty to their employers while receiving none in return make for depressing reads

millionaire suing his own brother for more money. makes me sick

# ? Jul 31, 2015 21:44

Syncopated: Oct 21, 2010

Smythe posted:

frankly im shocked that the socially maladjusted wierdo who posted a pic of himself inside of a dog kennel online and continuously posts the most boring drivel with the most boring and fail authors voice was homeschooled

Only 50 % sure you're talking about him but someone with anal vore in their name is weird in some way? Shocking

# ? Jul 31, 2015 22:25

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

Syncopated posted:

Only 50 % sure you're talking about him but someone with anal vore in their name is weird in some way? Shocking

anal vore is my friend and ally. hes extremely smart and also muscular as hell. ive seen him deadlift over 9000 lbs and ive jerked to the vid. im referring to the leading contender in the worst poster in YOSPOS competition tusan tack or whatever

# ? Jul 31, 2015 22:33

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

rrrrrrrrrrrt posted:

this combined with the article posted earlier about how people have ridiculous amounts of misplaced loyalty to their employers while receiving none in return make for depressing reads

i enjoy working for an employer that values my loyalty

however i will gladly accept a position w/ another company who values my loyalty more

# ? Jul 31, 2015 23:27

ultramiraculous: Nov 12, 2003; "No..."; Grimey Drawer

Shifty Pony posted:

every organized exercise company wanting to be crossfit.

i wonder if it's more profitable to do licensing with everyone on the planet, or if it works out better to do the centralized cult model. i mean the mormons seem to be doing p well for themselves, but they don't have the numbers.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 03:33

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

the talent deficit posted:

this is only tangentially tech related but the ny times interviewed some of the worst people in the world for this piece

what

# ? Aug 1, 2015 03:56

Nintendo Kid: Aug 4, 2011; by Smythe

fart simpson posted:

what

Qq they gave everyone a raise so I'm gonna quit my job I was due to make a lot more at

# ? Aug 1, 2015 04:00

VAGENDA OF MANOCIDE: Aug 1, 2004; whoa, what just happened here?; College Slice

Nintendo Kid posted:

Qq they gave everyone a raise so I'm gonna quit my job I was due to make a lot more at

some dude was going from like 50 to 70k and quit over it

i want to strangle that person

# ? Aug 1, 2015 04:19

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

ruby idiot railed posted:

some dude was going from like 50 to 70k and quit over it

i want to strangle that person

didn't even finish getting the raises to bring it up to $70k

dude said that raises are being phased in over like a year or so

finance planner jumped ship before even step one could happen

if the ceo weren't so religious i'm sure he'd be all "yeah gently caress those people we don't want them here either"

# ? Aug 1, 2015 04:26

Greatbacon: Apr 9, 2012; by Pragmatica

ruby idiot railed posted:

some dude was going from like 50 to 70k and quit over it

i want to strangle that person

Captain of Industry.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 04:26

kitten emergency: Jan 13, 2008; get meow this wack-ass crystal prison

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

i enjoy working for an employer that values my loyalty

however i will gladly accept a position w/ another company who values my loyalty more

same

my loyalty is entirely measured in USD

# ? Aug 1, 2015 04:29

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

ruby idiot railed posted:

some dude was going from like 50 to 70k and quit over it

i want to strangle that person

you have to understand, the thought of all those underachievers being paid as much as him was just sickening

# ? Aug 1, 2015 04:45

bassguitarhero: Feb 29, 2008

it is so amazing to me that people would be *so mad* about other people making as much as them that they would rather make nothing

it must be like why homophobes are so concerned about other dudes' dicks

# ? Aug 1, 2015 05:39

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

tbf gay dudes are p hilarious

they talk like ladies and stick their dicks up eachothers' asses

i mean who does that

# ? Aug 1, 2015 05:42

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

gay dudes, tho anyone can talk like a lady, really

# ? Aug 1, 2015 05:46

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

tbf gay dudes are p hilarious

they talk like ladies and stick their dicks up eachothers' asses

i mean who does that

i mean, i do

but there's nothing really gay about it

furthermore the spartans

# ? Aug 1, 2015 06:03

Optimus_Rhyme: Apr 15, 2007; are you that mainframe hacker guy?

Vicas posted:

you have to understand, the thought of all those underachievers being paid as much as him was just sickening

i make it a point to talk salary with friends etc cause gently caress the system. A co-worker got upset I was talkin salary with other people at work despite our HR policy saying we couldn't. I had to look it up cause no way that poo poo was legal and turned out I was right:

quote:

The National Labor Relations Act says that employers cannot prevent employees from discussing wages and working conditions among themselves. The idea is that employees need to be free to organize, and preventing them from discussing these topics would prevent them from organizing.

I personally think all salaries should be public (like they do with companies in Ontario. http://www.ontario.ca/government/public-sector-salary-disclosure ) but for some reason people get all butthurt talkin salary. like, how insecure in yourself do you need to be that your whole self worth is tied up with the fact that you make more than the other people on your floor.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 06:07