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PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

:geno: Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

I'm sure there's a fair bit of them, it's just unlikely that we at large are likely to have heard about them. Rulers who just tried to keep the peace and improve the lives of their subjects tend not to get involved in wars, which is mainly why we hear about rulers.

Given the sheer number of semi-independent states in the Holy Roman Empire, I'm sure lots of their rulers were pretty OK.

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Jazerus
May 24, 2011


Robo Reagan posted:

I'm sure the answer is yes, but googling "greatest rulers" likes to list Hitler who wasn't really the type of great I'm looking for.

Were there any rulers in history that weren't colossal dickbags? Like, Alexander the Great is the Great because he tore rear end across the continent. Were there any kings or queens or any sort of leader at all I suppose going back from the feudal era who just sort of chilled and did cool + neat stuff for their subjects or were they all sociopaths/insane because that's what it took to keep from getting assassinated five minutes in?

Marcus Aurelius was a cool guy but I may be biased. In general the Five Good Emperors are called that for a reason, you could check them out.

HEY GUNS
Oct 11, 2012

FOPTIMUS PRIME

PittTheElder posted:

Given the sheer number of semi-independent states in the Holy Roman Empire, I'm sure lots of their rulers were pretty OK.
do you count as a good ruler if you're an imperial free knight, the sum total of your subjects is you, and your opinion of yourself is pretty high?

MrYenko
Jun 18, 2012

#2 isn't ALWAYS bad...

Jamwad Hilder posted:

I'm sure someone can do a better job of this, but here's what the names you mentioned mean:

Gaius (birth name) Julius (masculine version of the family name) Caesar (a sort of a nickname earned later in life, it means "hairy") = so you have Gaius, "The Hairy", of the Julii. Caesar is not a family name, it becomes something of an informal one later on as it becomes associated with being the first citizen (emperor) of Rome.

Quintus (the fifth) Lutatius (masculine family name, female would be Lutatia) Catulus (birth name) Caesar ("hairy"/an honorific) = Catulus the Fifth, of the Lutatia, Caesar (honorific/nickname). This gets more confusing because sometimes names like Quintus, Sextus, or Decius, would be passed down regardless of birth order if your father, grandfather, or other ancestor had held the name and been a notable figure. You might not literally be the fifth, sixth, or tenth son, respectively. I'm not exactly clear on why some people did family name, given name and others did given name, family name.

The naming conventions for women would literally be a feminine version of the name of the clan. Clodia means she's a daughter of the Claudii. The masculine version is Claudius. She would have simply been known as Clodia (family name) and maybe Clodia Major (the elder daughter) or Clodia Minor (the younger daughter) if she had a sister. Once you get into more than that they might have names like Clodia Quinta (the fifth).

So Julia simply means she's the first daughter of that branch of the Julii, possibly with the added "Caesaris" to denote that she's the daughter of Gaius Julius Caesar. If there had been two daughters she'd be Julia Major and her younger sister would be Julia Minor. Magnus means "the great" - it's an honorific, not a name you would pass down. Pompey is the family name (Gnaeus was his given name). So if anything, she'd be Julia Caesaris Pompey. They might toss on Magnus at the end to make it clear she was the wife of Gnaeus Pompey Magnus and not some other Gnaeus Pompey.

This post.

Holy loving poo poo this post.

:hist101:

Vagon
Oct 22, 2005

Teehee!
As someone said, Augustus was honestly an amazing ruler. Once he had power. A looot of blood led up to that point, but hey. Take what you can get.

BurningStone
Jun 3, 2011
While there are plenty of rulers who never did much of anything, it's hard for them to be loved. First, everybody wants your job. Real life isn't CK 2 or Game of Thrones, but usually there's some rough stuff to stay in power.

Second, when you're powerful everybody wants something from you. And if they don't get it, you're the most terrible, terrible person who ever terribled. (This often ends up tying back to the first problem) Think of the way everybody tries to latch on to lottery winners or celebrities. Every broke aristocrat or power hungry minister wants money and authority from you.

Jazerus
May 24, 2011


MrYenko posted:

This post.

Holy loving poo poo this post.

:hist101:

Just needs a couple of corrections. First, Caesar is a family name until it becomes associated with being Emperor - yeah, there was originally a guy who acquired it by being hairy as gently caress but the Gaius Julius Caesar we care about inherited it.

Clodia isn't exactly the feminine form of Claudius, which would be Claudia. It's the feminine form of Clodius, the overtly lower class version of Claudius. This is part of why the famous Clodius and Clodia were seen as classless weirdos - they consciously switched from the "au" form to the "o" form.

Jazerus fucked around with this message at 00:00 on Aug 3, 2015

Star Man
Jun 1, 2008

There's a star maaaaaan
Over the rainbow
Doesn't Cicero mean "big nose"?

BurningStone
Jun 3, 2011

Star Man posted:

Doesn't Cicero mean "big nose"?

No, chickpea. Seriously.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

BurningStone posted:

No, chickpea. Seriously.

Reminds me of Boris Pasternak Parsnip.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


There are a number of Chinese emperors who seem like okay dudes. Qianlong for an example.

fantastic in plastic
Jun 15, 2007

The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.
King Sejong of Korea seemed okay -- spread literacy, founded a national institute to promote learning, didn't seem to need to kill that many people (possibly because his father had done all of the necessary murdering).

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Fun thing about Sejong, they're obsessed with portraying him as the greatest of all rulers in modern Korea but the temple names were assigned in various types to indicate how good a king was. The -jo ending meant a good king (like Taejo), but the -jong ending meant he was considered a bad king. The whole Sejong THE GREAT thing is a modern nationalist phenomenon.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Lord Protector Jörgen Jörgensen of Iceland was the greatest king of them all.

Arglebargle III
Feb 21, 2006

Robo Reagan posted:

I'm sure the answer is yes, but googling "greatest rulers" likes to list Hitler who wasn't really the type of great I'm looking for.

Were there any rulers in history that weren't colossal dickbags? Like, Alexander the Great is the Great because he tore rear end across the continent. Were there any kings or queens or any sort of leader at all I suppose going back from the feudal era who just sort of chilled and did cool + neat stuff for their subjects or were they all sociopaths/insane because that's what it took to keep from getting assassinated five minutes in?

Claudius was a good ruler and the prototype for the unlikely dweeb who becomes a great emperor. Also one of the few rulers to have been a well-regarded academic before he ruled so academics like him for that. The aristocracy were mad at him for freeing too many slaves and letting low people rise to high positions so you know he must have been an okay dude. Also he added Britain to the empire and his ascension ended the bad rule and purges under Tiberius and Caligula.

Hadrian spent most of his rule touring the Empire (with his boy toy) fixing things.

Diocletian did such a good job his greatest failure was measuring others by himself, so the system he set up exploded when other less virtuous people took over.

The late Western Han dynasty definitely had some emperors who just chilled and let the country run itself while being unremarkable but okay people.

In general I think many rulers who did nasty or questionable things were really normal people in circumstances where fear or ambition and/or necessities of state drove them to do terrible things. Like there are a ton of regents in history who have murdered children to get onto the throne of a country that was collapsing without an effective ruler. Killing children is bad, but imagine if you're at the head of the ship of state and things are going badly wrong and your idiotic hereditary monarchical system has put an infant on the throne. There's barbarians on the borders and floods in the east and grain and troops need to get moved around and the queen mother is some pretty moron from the sticks. You gotta kill that baby.

There's also the odd interesting person who moves up the ladder by being a colossal douche but ends up being a really good (and morally good) ruler. Wu Zetian murdered her way to the top and then had a peaceful and prosperous reign. Emperor Taizong was twice a rebel and traitor, overthrew his Emperor, shot his brother, forced his father to abdicate, and is widely considered the most tolerant, rational, and all-around greatest Chinese emperor of all time.

Koramei
Nov 11, 2011

I have three regrets
The first is to be born in Joseon.

Grand Fromage posted:

Fun thing about Sejong, they're obsessed with portraying him as the greatest of all rulers in modern Korea but the temple names were assigned in various types to indicate how good a king was. The -jo ending meant a good king (like Taejo), but the -jong ending meant he was considered a bad king. The whole Sejong THE GREAT thing is a modern nationalist phenomenon.

probably pissed off all the aristocrats and historians by trying to give the masses a way to become literate

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Koramei posted:

probably pissed off all the aristocrats and historians by trying to give the masses a way to become literate

Entirely possible. They got rid of hangeul quite fast.

Arglebargle III posted:

You gotta kill that baby.

Roman example, the empire would've been much better off if Marcus Aurelius had drowned the poo poo outta that kid.

Arglebargle III
Feb 21, 2006

Taizong is such a fascinating guy I have to find a biography of him. He did pretty much everything you're not supposed to do according to Confucian ideals and ended up being the paragon of Chinese statesmanship. He blew up his state and his family and left a hundred years of peace and prosperity behind with a reign that everybody thereafter had to study. He's one of these whirlwind people who managed to completely reorganize the domestic political system while dealing with complex foreign pressures and military campaigns. He's endearing to the modern reader for being a rationalist and a skeptic who demanded that his advisors stand up to him. Just reading his wiki articles there are a lot of instances when he reverses his own unpopular decisions or shelves plans that his advisors didn't like. And he generates all these great anecdotes, like when he ambushed his brothers outside the palace or when he exiled a son to check his loyalty and rewarded him with a ministry when he obeyed. Oh also he wrote two books on statecraft so that probably helped his image.

Arglebargle III fucked around with this message at 03:46 on Aug 3, 2015

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

I remember hearing a lot of good things about the reign of Gustavus Adolphus. I think I read about one of the Swedish kings having the rare distinction of being known as "The Great" for nonmilitary reasons, but I can't put a finger on which one.

Arglebargle III posted:

There's also the odd interesting person who moves up the ladder by being a colossal douche but ends up being a really good (and morally good) ruler. Wu Zetian murdered her way to the top and then had a peaceful and prosperous reign. Emperor Taizong was twice a rebel and traitor, overthrew his Emperor, shot his brother, forced his father to abdicate, and is widely considered the most tolerant, rational, and all-around greatest Chinese emperor of all time.

It seems like there's a weird meritocratic nature to rulers being overthrown. Great leaders don't lose their thrones easily, and it's unlikely that a drooling idiot could pull off a successful coup.

xthetenth
Dec 30, 2012

Mario wasn't sure if this Jeb guy was a good influence on Yoshi.

SlothfulCobra posted:

It seems like there's a weird meritocratic nature to rulers being overthrown. Great leaders don't lose their thrones easily, and it's unlikely that a drooling idiot could pull off a successful coup.

On the other hand, Rome had some real beauts.

Kassad
Nov 12, 2005

It's about time.

Grand Fromage posted:

There are a number of Chinese emperors who seem like okay dudes. Qianlong for an example.

Except for the odd genocide...

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?



Welp. I thought that was his father.

Angry Salami
Jul 27, 2013

Don't trust the skull.
There's Akbar the Great of the Mughal Empire. (Yes, his name is literally Great the Great.) Pretty tolerant guy, made efforts to treat his Hindu vassals equally with his Muslim ones, arranging marriage alliances with them and treating them with respect, even celebrating Diwali alongside them, renouncing beef, and naming a Hindu princess as his chief wife. He even set up a sort of debating house and invited representatives of different religions to try and resolve their differences - he managed to get representatives of Sunni and Shia Islam along with various Sufis, along with Hindus, Jains, Portuguese Catholic missionaries, and Zoroastrians to participate. Unfortunately, the debates somehow failed to resolve all religious differences once and for all, so Akbar decided screw it, I'll start my own religion! With hookers and blackjack!

It, ah, didn't really take off. At its height, it had probably eighteen followers. Still, points for trying, right?

He also cracked down pretty hard on generals he thought were unnecessarily cruel in looting conquered cities. Though, his crackdown did consist of throwing said generals from the top of his fortress over and over until they were dead, so maybe a bit of a dick sometimes…

Keldoclock
Jan 5, 2014

by zen death robot

:agesilaus: We're all rulers here, what's a little genocide between friends?

Kassad
Nov 12, 2005

It's about time.

Angry Salami posted:

There's Akbar the Great of the Mughal Empire. (Yes, his name is literally Great the Great.) Pretty tolerant guy, made efforts to treat his Hindu vassals equally with his Muslim ones, arranging marriage alliances with them and treating them with respect, even celebrating Diwali alongside them, renouncing beef, and naming a Hindu princess as his chief wife. He even set up a sort of debating house and invited representatives of different religions to try and resolve their differences - he managed to get representatives of Sunni and Shia Islam along with various Sufis, along with Hindus, Jains, Portuguese Catholic missionaries, and Zoroastrians to participate. Unfortunately, the debates somehow failed to resolve all religious differences once and for all, so Akbar decided screw it, I'll start my own religion! With hookers and blackjack!

It, ah, didn't really take off. At its height, it had probably eighteen followers. Still, points for trying, right?

He also cracked down pretty hard on generals he thought were unnecessarily cruel in looting conquered cities. Though, his crackdown did consist of throwing said generals from the top of his fortress over and over until they were dead, so maybe a bit of a dick sometimes…

Dara Shikoh is another Mughal that was pretty cool, he was very philosophically inclined and tried to find a way to bridge the gap between Islam and Hinduism, as well as being a patron of the arts. His brother Aurangzeb was a much more conservative man who was more popular among Mughal soldiers. You can imagine who won the resulting struggle for the throne.

Kassad fucked around with this message at 11:03 on Aug 3, 2015

Munin
Nov 14, 2004


SlothfulCobra posted:

I remember hearing a lot of good things about the reign of Gustavus Adolphus. I think I read about one of the Swedish kings having the rare distinction of being known as "The Great" for nonmilitary reasons, but I can't put a finger on which one.

No other Swede other than Gustavus Adolphus shows up on the list on Wikipedia. That said that list is self admitedly not complete.

That did lead me to this list on Wikipedia again which I am rather fond of:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_monarchs_by_nickname

HEY GUNS
Oct 11, 2012

FOPTIMUS PRIME

BurningStone posted:

No, chickpea. Seriously.
their name in the english that italian-americans speak is still cici beans

when i was a child my mother tried to get me to eat them by saying that cicero liked them, as you could plainly see from the name. it didn't work.

Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands

HEY GAL posted:

their name in the english that italian-americans speak is still cici beans

when i was a child my mother tried to get me to eat them by saying that cicero liked them, as you could plainly see from the name. it didn't work.

She should have figured out a way to tie them to Wallenstein somehow.

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous

SlothfulCobra posted:

I remember hearing a lot of good things about the reign of Gustavus Adolphus. I think I read about one of the Swedish kings having the rare distinction of being known as "The Great" for nonmilitary reasons, but I can't put a finger on which one.

Well, there's a lot less Swedes thanks to him, so that's a plus. :v:

StashAugustine
Mar 24, 2013

Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

As a Catholic of Polish-German ancestry Christina was clearly a better ruler than Gustavus. :colbert:

V. Illych L.
Apr 11, 2008

ASK ME ABOUT LUMBER

Robo Reagan posted:

I'm sure the answer is yes, but googling "greatest rulers" likes to list Hitler who wasn't really the type of great I'm looking for.

Were there any rulers in history that weren't colossal dickbags? Like, Alexander the Great is the Great because he tore rear end across the continent. Were there any kings or queens or any sort of leader at all I suppose going back from the feudal era who just sort of chilled and did cool + neat stuff for their subjects or were they all sociopaths/insane because that's what it took to keep from getting assassinated five minutes in?

saladin was really a Cool Dude by the standards of his time and his task

sure he took the population of jerusalem as slaves to relieve his huge debts, but he let as many people free as he reasonably could

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

HEY GAL posted:

their name in the english that italian-americans speak is still cici beans

when i was a child my mother tried to get me to eat them by saying that cicero liked them, as you could plainly see from the name. it didn't work.
I assume that Cicero, like all great Romans, was obsessed with cabbage.

icantfindaname
Jul 1, 2008


edit: beaten

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

HEY GAL posted:

their name in the english that italian-americans speak is still cici beans

when i was a child my mother tried to get me to eat them by saying that cicero liked them, as you could plainly see from the name. it didn't work.

Chickpeas are awesome, though?

Josef bugman
Nov 17, 2011

Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund
I read, in my big book of Chinese History, that Yongzheng and Qianlong had very different approaches to how things should work in the Empire. I wonder if it would have been better had Yongzheng lived a bit longer and gotten a really good set of ideas down.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Grand Fromage posted:

Roman example, the empire would've been much better off if Marcus Aurelius had drowned the poo poo outta that kid.

Just out of interest, the position of "Emperor" (which didn't really exist?) wasn't hereditary by default, right? The Emperor still chose their heir (or a new Emperor was chosen by others after his death) and it could have been anyone he chose it to be?

If Marcus had just patted Commodus on the head and told him,"Somebody else is gonna be emperor, you can go live on a giant estate and stomp around dwarves pretending to be a giant all you want for the rest of your life," maybe history would have been very different.

Kaal
May 22, 2002

through thousands of posts in D&D over a decade, I now believe I know what I'm talking about. if I post forcefully and confidently, I can convince others that is true. no one sees through my facade.

Jerusalem posted:

Just out of interest, the position of "Emperor" (which didn't really exist?) wasn't hereditary by default, right? The Emperor still chose their heir (or a new Emperor was chosen by others after his death) and it could have been anyone he chose it to be?

If Marcus had just patted Commodus on the head and told him,"Somebody else is gonna be emperor, you can go live on a giant estate and stomp around dwarves pretending to be a giant all you want for the rest of your life," maybe history would have been very different.

Yes and no. It wasn't hereditary by law, but it was hereditary by practice. And Commodus, by virtue of his father, would have always been seen as having a legitimate claim to the purple. As such, not choosing his son - but keeping him alive - risks a future civil war. Even if a non-ruling Commodus was happy living on his estate, there would be an extant threat that some third party might see him as more malleable and conduct a coup in his name. Hereditary rule makes a lot of sense when the alternatives always seem to end in devastating civil wars. Marcus Aurelius, to the extent that he understood the problem, was left with an impossible decision: He could try to guide Commodus into being the best ruler he could be (knowing that he would never be a great leader), or he could kill him and then nominate another heir (knowing that their claim would be weak).

Kaal fucked around with this message at 23:37 on Aug 3, 2015

BravestOfTheLamps
Oct 12, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Lipstick Apathy
There weren't laws for it or anything, but family was just the simplest way to maintain continuity of power and to confer legitimacy. The eldest son inherits the family business, just like that. If anyone can be Emperor, not just the Emperor's son (adopted or otherwise) or maybe nephew, well, that's how we get the Years of the Multiple Emperors, and an endless succession of usurpers. There's a reason why the first of the Five Good Emperors still adopted their heirs.

BravestOfTheLamps fucked around with this message at 23:39 on Aug 3, 2015

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Even into literally like the 1200s there still was not actually any law about Roman succession. I don't know if there ever was one.

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xthetenth
Dec 30, 2012

Mario wasn't sure if this Jeb guy was a good influence on Yoshi.

Why wouldn't Marcus Aurelius be able to adopt a guy to be emperor? It seems like there's plenty of precedent, what with it being the way things were done for nearly 100 years and Commodus being the sort of guy you could believe died in a tragic forgetting to breathe accident.

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