sweeperbravo posted:

That's a story I would have actually found funny if it wasn't so overwritten and tryhard.
Some of these people it's like they've either never heard "brevity is the soul of wit" or they just think they're the special snowflake exception to that aphorism.

sweeperbravo posted:

Some of these people it's like they've either never heard "brevity is the soul of wit" or they just think they're the special snowflake exception to that aphorism.

though just imagine if the NAR family of sites had comments posted:

(I go into a doctor’s surgery about a terrible cough.)

Doctor: “Right, we just need to look you over; won’t be a minute.”

(After a quick examination, I see him frowning.)

Me: “What is it?”

Doctor: “You need to get tested for HIV and hepatitis.”

Me: *as I am a virgin* “What?!”

Doctor: “Your tattoo. You may have had a dirty needle poking you. I need the address of where you got that.”

Me: “Listen, I—”

Doctor: “And since you have tattoos, it’s likely you’ve used drugs at one point, so we need to check you for HIV.”

Me: “Look—”

Doctor: “You young people think you’re never getting these diseases, but you do; I’ve seen a LOT of young people who got illnesses from needles—”

Me: “It’s a rub-on!”

ibntumart posted:

quote:

Me: *as I am a virgin*

A 50S RAYGUN posted:

it's not stdh it's actually just how my grandma thinks

A 50S RAYGUN posted:

it's not stdh it's actually just how my grandma thinks

quote:

A New South Wales mother has won a legal battle to breastfeed her 11-month-old baby after the Family Court overturned an injunction that banned her from doing so because she got a tattoo.

The injunction was unanimously thrown out by the Family Court that found the primary judge based his decision on an internet search.

On June 5, the 20-year-old mother was banned by Judge Matthew Myers of the Federal Circuit Court from breastfeeding because she had recently been tattooed.

The concern was that she might transmit a blood-borne disease such as hepatitis or HIV to the infant.

davidspackage posted:

Isn't there a thing that it's not healthy to breastfeed if you've recently been tattooed, but has nothing to do with disease, just the effect of the ink? Or is that the stdh

EmmyOk posted:

You can't donate blood for a few months after you get a tattoo at least.

Sentient Data posted:

And it says the she got tested, but if she just got the tattoo isn't the disease test worthless due to hiv's ~6mo gestation period where it will give a false negative? I was thinking it might be a situation where she was a wet nurse which could make sense from a general safety standpoint, but get own kid?

That means that someone who actually knew her had to press charges, possibly the kid's father. Normally I'd say the risk of a tattoo from a reputable shop that has disposable sterile needles and autoclaves makes the disease risk basically 0, but if a close family member pressed charges to stop you from feeding your own kid I'd bet she got the tattoo from some methed-out living room scratcher

Slime posted:

It could mean she got the tattoo from some weirdo with dirty needles. It could also mean the kid's father is a bitter ex who just plain wants to cause trouble for her any way he can. Without more context it's impossible to make a judgement.

quote:

The baby's father then raised concerns about the mother's tattoo during the bitter parenting dispute.

davidspackage posted:

Isn't there a thing that it's not healthy to breastfeed if you've recently been tattooed, but has nothing to do with disease, just the effect of the ink? Or is that the stdh

goose fleet posted:

Let's censor "loving" and not "bitch" because

Verisimilidude posted:

ibntumart posted:

ibntumart posted:

ibntumart posted:

Verisimilidude posted:

How much of a pussy do you have to be to offer money in exchange for a phone you just had stolen from you?

Big Grunty Secret posted:

Also who wouldn't want to be a pimp one day?

goose fleet posted:

Wow..


WOW

ibntumart posted:

My favorite bit is when they take the bus. I like to imagine the thief scrambling for change so the bus driver doesn't kick him off or call the Metro authorities, and then the author hoping against hope he has a token so he can get on, too, and have the chase continue.

ibntumart posted:

oldpainless posted:

He creates a story where he looks helpless.

quote:

The Franks are void of all zeal and jealousy. ... Here is an illustration which I myself witnessed:

When I used to visit Nablus, I always took lodging with a man named Mu'izz, whose home was a lodging house for the Muslims. The house had windows which opened to the road, and there stood opposite to it on the other side of the road a house belonging to a Frank who sold wine for the merchants. He would take some wine in a bottle and go around announcing it by shouting, "So and so, the merchant, has just opened a cask full of this wine. He who wants to buy some of it will find it in such and such a place." The Frank's pay for the announcement made would be the wine in that bottle. One day this Frank went home and found a man with his wife in the same bed. He asked him, "What could have made you enter into my wife's room?" The man replied, "I was tired, so I went in to rest." "But how," asked he, "didst thou get into my bed?" The other replied, "I found a bed that was spread, so I slept in it." "But," said he, "my wife was sleeping together with you!" The other replied, "Well, the bed is hers. How could I therefore have prevented her from using her own bed?"

"By the truth of my religion," said the husband, "if thou shouldst do it again, thou and I would have a quarrel." Such was for the Frank the entire expression of his disapproval and the limit of his jealousy.

Pththya-lyi posted:

Old school STDH from Usama ibn Munqidh, 12th-century Syrian nobleman and author of the memoir Kitab al-I'tibar "Book of Contemplation," which contains eyewitness accounts of the First Crusade and of the Franks [Europeans] who settled in the Holy Land.


Those wacky Franks!

ibntumart posted:

hyperhazard posted:

So was the man at the end the same guy or not? They can't just leave us hanging like that.

some douche posted:

This really brings back some old, tough memories. Back when I was 22 or 23, I forget which, it was so long ago, I was supposed to get married to this girl. We were high school sweethearts and we maintained a long distance relationship for the 4 years I was away at college and she worked in her parents' shop in our hometown.

So I was working in the city and we had been planning our wedding. We'd have a small ceremony at our church, then we'd use up my two weeks vacation for an all-inclusive non-refundable trip to Cancun. We'd take the limo to our hotel and just have the best honeymoon anyone's ever had.

But when I showed up at the church she wasn't there. Her best friend told me the bad news. My fiancee had been seeing some other guy for a while and couldn't get up the courage to break it off with me. I was none the wiser the entire time. It crushed me. It wasn't like I could suddenly drop all my feelings for her, but I just couldn't believe what was happening.

The tickets were, as I mentioned earlier, non-refundable, so I just got on the plane by myself. I taped her picture to the next seat. That got some stares. I bought a box of little bottles of liquor at the gift shop and lined them up on the tables in front of my seats and just started drinking.

After a while I was feeling a little bit better. I started buying drinks for the people next to me, then for everyone on the plane. Eventually, we were having a party. A bunch of Americans drunk, flying down to Cancun, dancing and drinking and carrying on. I told the stewardess what happened and she gave me some "sympathy" in the galley. It was probably the only time I've ever really been drunk on a plane.