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C-Euro posted:Eh, the one guy who moved between when we mailed our Save The Dates and the actual invites gets a pass, as it's technically not his fault that he hasn't replied (though you're supposed to change your address with the USPS, at least I do every time I move). No one else has an excuse though, our RSVPs are due today and nearly a third of our guest list has yet to respond, including my own brother and sister. It's not that hard people, I even stamped the return envelopes! And you know where to get at me if you have questions. Come on y'all I kind of know your pain. We just mailed the invites, but I have been trying to plan the bachelor party and I can't even get a simple Yes or No on the Facebook event for who is camping. With 6 people per campsite and 20 people invited I am afraid I won't have enough space...guess tough titties for those people. Can you do a group text to all those people with a line "If you don't respond we will assume you are not coming and no food and drink will be provided if you show up"? That kind of disrespect just angers me...you are paying for this nice event, invited everyone with plenty of time to respond, and they don't even have the decency to check a box and take a piece of paper to a mailbox?
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Jul 22, 2015 14:13
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C-Euro posted:Eh, the one guy who moved between when we mailed our Save The Dates and the actual invites gets a pass, as it's technically not his fault that he hasn't replied (though you're supposed to change your address with the USPS, at least I do every time I move). No one else has an excuse though, our RSVPs are due today and nearly a third of our guest list has yet to respond, including my own brother and sister. It's not that hard people, I even stamped the return envelopes! And you know where to get at me if you have questions. Come on y'all My immediate family never RSVPed either  We had one invite get returned to sender totally mangled a few months after the wedding so it's totally possible some do get lost in the mail, but that's why you call.
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Jul 22, 2015 18:40
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Polo-Rican posted:Does anyone know of a good resource to find good, independent DJs? I'm doing tons of research and only finding: I'm an independent wedding DJ in Colorado. Talk to your venue for their preferred vendors. Especially because the DJ will/should be lighting the venue, experience there will be a big plus. Further for the logistical issues involving load-in, sound arrangement, organizing the event, etc etc.
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Jul 22, 2015 19:24
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On the registry front, we are using Thankful Registry, which is just kind of a catch-all kind of thing that covers normal gifts and honeymoon stuff. It's $30 or something. https://thankfulregistry.com/ We actually had a free subscription for Honeyfund from some other thing we signed up for, but I was really turned off by Honeyfund's constant upsell, and that we would need two registries. smackfu fucked around with this message at 20:03 on Jul 22, 2015 |
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Jul 22, 2015 20:00
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LLSix posted:Can anyone recommend a honeymoon fund provider? Honeyfund looks fine so far, but just now I'm wondering what catch I'm not seeing yet. Forgive my ignorance, but could you not just give people the details of the bank account you'd like the money to go into, and your address for those who'd like to send cheques? Also/or a box at the wedding for people to pop money in? Bollock Monkey fucked around with this message at 22:23 on Jul 22, 2015 |
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Jul 22, 2015 22:21
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Bollock Monkey posted:Forgive my ignorance, but could you not just give people the details of the bank account you'd like the money to go into, and your address for those who'd like to send cheques? Also/or a box at the wedding for people to pop money in? This is almost exactly what my wife said. Then she saw how you could list out how much each step of your honeymoon was going to cost. She was really excited that people could put money towards something specific like a hotel or the flight or an upgrade to first class on the flight or a tour or... You get the idea. That way they can still feel like they are getting you a specific gift. Besides which, the same logic that says to pre-stamp RSVP cards applies here too. You want the lowest possible barrier to entry. Your friends and family are doing something nice for you and its polite to make that as easy as possible. It is much easier to click a few buttons on a website and then fill out a few fields then it is to write and mail a check (for most people). Although we didn't think of a box at the wedding. It's a great idea. We may do that too. Tagichatn posted:Zola also seems like a good option too as it's slightly less of a fee than honeyfund. They're more focused on items than honeymoon like honeyfund but you can just put honeymoon related items, even copy from honeyfund for ideas. I don't think it has ads like honeyfund either; those cost $20 to remove. smackfu posted:On the registry front, we are using Thankful Registry, which is just kind of a catch-all kind of thing that covers normal gifts and honeymoon stuff. It's $30 or something. Thank you for the suggestions. I think these both look nice. I'll show them to my wife when she gets home.
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Jul 23, 2015 00:33
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LLSix posted:Although we didn't think of a box at the wedding. It's a great idea. We may do that too. A card box/container is a good thing to have regardless since cards can slide around/fall off the table/get lost/walk away if your guests are assholes or if you're having it in a publicly accessible space like a hotel or park.
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Jul 23, 2015 02:24
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So I'm looking for an engagement ring and I've come across something that doesn't make any sense, at least to me, from a pair of vendors. Moissanite is pretty much only grown by a single lab, and they have their own retail outlet for their products (Moissanite.com). There is also another retailer (moissaniteco.com) that appears to be unrelated to the lab but sells loose stones for lower prices than the lab does, while claiming that their QA process results in better stone quality. I'm not sold on moissanite vs diamond at this point but the whole thing makes so little sense I figured I should ask. Is the second site shady, or is the gemstone industry really just this bizarre?
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Jul 23, 2015 02:44
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:A card box/container is a good thing to have regardless since cards can slide around/fall off the table/get lost/walk away if your guests are assholes or if you're having it in a publicly accessible space like a hotel or park. On this same line...MAKE SURE THAT BOX IS SOMEWHERE OBVIOUS AND SOMEONE IS WATCHING IT! As an insurance agent I hear of 1 stolen box of wedding cards per year...it sucks when it happens and it will suck if it happens to you guys.
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Jul 23, 2015 03:22
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OssiansFolly posted:On this same line...MAKE SURE THAT BOX IS SOMEWHERE OBVIOUS AND SOMEONE IS WATCHING IT! As an insurance agent I hear of 1 stolen box of wedding cards per year...it sucks when it happens and it will suck if it happens to you guys. If you don't mind destroying the table, bolt it to the table or to a long, obvious piece of 2x4 hidden under the tablecloth. Seriously. Or do what I did and layer the bottom with 20 lbs of lead ingots, bolt the access door shut, and basically made it as obvious and much of a pain in the rear end to carry around as possible.
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Jul 23, 2015 20:52
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I meant to post this days ago, but a friend of mine was proposed to in the best way possible (for a cosplay and ren faire enthusiast): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPoCQgGp4Cw White horse and everything. Everyone was in on it so we spent most of the morning making sure she was in the right place at the right time.
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Jul 23, 2015 21:31
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Captain Capacitor posted:I meant to post this days ago, but a friend of mine was proposed to in the best way possible (for a cosplay and ren faire enthusiast): Dorks. (Congrats! Also, kudos on the photographers, that's a great picture)
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Jul 24, 2015 12:55
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I've been engaged for a week and I already hate the vendor process. How do you choose when every vendor for every single service gets 5 stars on Knot and Wedding Wire?
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Aug 2, 2015 22:44
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Tater Love 
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I just got engaged and our vendor search is really fun because we're in one of the only places in America where we're a religious minority. It's great. I'm not concerned about getting a huge engagement ring, but I would like something sparkly, so I'm looking on Etsy for less-expensive vintage rings. Are there any red flags I should look out for? Also, is the sizing consistent? I don't wear rings terribly often. gnomewife fucked around with this message at 23:20 on Aug 2, 2015 |
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Aug 2, 2015 22:59
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I got so many goddamned emails after the wedding from my vendors begging for five star reviews that I dinged some of them a half star out of spite.
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Aug 2, 2015 23:04
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I got married in October last year and I'm still getting calls on my cell phone from Belk basically begging me to come back and finish buying stuff from my registry.
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Aug 3, 2015 13:53
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:I got so many goddamned emails after the wedding from my vendors begging for five star reviews that I dinged some of them a half star out of spite. This is why you make a throw-away email account just for wedding stuff. You'll regret it otherwise.
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Aug 3, 2015 17:55
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daggerdragon posted:This is why you use your fiancée's email just for wedding stuff. You'll regret it otherwise. FTFY (the account we're using is essentially her spam account anyway) Also I'm getting married this month  I'm excited for it but I also just want it to be over, my fiancée and I have agreed that nothing is really going to change between us and we've been unable to actually save any money this calendar year, and it will be nice to do that again (until we blow it all on her green card application  )
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Aug 3, 2015 20:44
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Did any of you guys or your SO get cold feet? My fiancé is freaking out a month and a half before the wedding and talking about how she may not want to go through with it...not only is this heartwrenching but it is scaring the hell out of me! I have to live in fear that she could just wake up and decide to call the wedding all of a sudden which means we lose everything we've put into it so far both time, effort, the relationship and the money. Any advice to help her calm down?
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Aug 11, 2015 13:43
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AGirlWonder posted:I just got engaged and our vendor search is really fun because we're in one of the only places in America where we're a religious minority. It's great. The sizing is pretty consistent in my limited experience. Your finger width will change substantially based on how how/cold it is though. I know some days my ring is painfully tight and other days I hardly notice it. The Jewelry thread is a good place to ask about gotchas.
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Aug 11, 2015 14:07
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OssiansFolly posted:Did any of you guys or your SO get cold feet? My fiancé is freaking out a month and a half before the wedding and talking about how she may not want to go through with it...not only is this heartwrenching but it is scaring the hell out of me! I have to live in fear that she could just wake up and decide to call the wedding all of a sudden which means we lose everything we've put into it so far both time, effort, the relationship and the money. Any advice to help her calm down? Yeah that sounds horrifying; have a serious discussion with her, and maybe therapy? Like, "Can't we just elope this wedding planning is awful!" is one thing, and very common; "This is too much maybe we should just not get married and I should run away to a convent" (paraphrasing" is less so.
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Aug 11, 2015 14:35
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silvergoose posted:Yeah that sounds horrifying; have a serious discussion with her, and maybe therapy? Like, "Can't we just elope this wedding planning is awful!" is one thing, and very common; "This is too much maybe we should just not get married and I should run away to a convent" (paraphrasing" is less so. Hers is more...I am so stressed and depressed and not happy. Which isn't surprising since all our money and time is going to the wedding so we don't get to have fun.
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Aug 11, 2015 15:30
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Six weeks before your wedding... yeah, it's going to suck. Everyone wants your time and your to-do list only gets longer. It might help to concentrate on the things she will enjoy, like the bridal shower and bachelorette party and rehearsal dinner. And the fact that in six weeks she won't have to plan a wedding ever again.
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Aug 11, 2015 15:46
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Oh, okay, that's a bit better. Then yeah, remind her of happy things, I'm kinda serious about therapy though, a good therapist is worth their weight in gold.
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Aug 11, 2015 15:50
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Where are some good and affordable places to do a destination wedding?
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Aug 11, 2015 15:53
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silvergoose posted:Oh, okay, that's a bit better. Then yeah, remind her of happy things, I'm kinda serious about therapy though, a good therapist is worth their weight in gold. I kind of took your advice. After your post I bought her an hour long relaxation massage from a local place for tomorrow during the day. Hopefully that will help her relax a bit, and if need be I can always call a therapist too so she has some outlet that isn't me. Rated PG-34 posted:Where are some good and affordable places to do a destination wedding? Do you want to stay in the US? Do you have a passport? We planned our Honeymoon using European Destinations
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Aug 11, 2015 16:34
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I definitely had the "So done with wedding planning stress" feelings. It became not fun for a while, but as others have said, I just reminded myself of the good things like how fun our photobooth would be and how amazing my dress was. I never felt like I didn't want to marry my s/o, just wanted to be done and over with all the wedding planning. I wouldn't call it cold feet. If she IS having cold feet though you should suggest she talk to someone.
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Aug 14, 2015 01:18
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By the time our wedding day rolled around I was so Over It that I just wanted to be done. We spent the car ride from the ceremony site to the reception site discussing what terrible things we'd do to skip the reception and just take a nap. We're both pretty introverted and not very social people so the whole wedding week of preparations and being the center of attention continually for that long was totally draining. Once the center of attention stuff was over (basically after the toast were done and the dance floor opened) it was much more enjoyable. When wedding planning gets too stressful think of the other weddings you've attended. Can you remember any details beyond general stuff? Probably not. Neither will your guests. Don't stress over the small stuff to make it PERFECT because no one but you will notice if something is slightly off. If it's cold feet about being married in general you should probably sort that out now before you legally bind yourself together. Better to lose the deposits now than deal with a divorce later.
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Aug 14, 2015 01:56
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:By the time our wedding day rolled around I was so Over It that I just wanted to be done. We spent the car ride from the ceremony site to the reception site discussing what terrible things we'd do to skip the reception and just take a nap. We're both pretty introverted and not very social people so the whole wedding week of preparations and being the center of attention continually for that long was totally draining. Once the center of attention stuff was over (basically after the toast were done and the dance floor opened) it was much more enjoyable. This is definitely where my fiancee and I are heading, we're getting married one week from tomorrow and this entire week has been nothing but last-minute wedding details. I've been so busy sending e-mails during the day that I don't think I've done any of my actual job work since Tuesday. Though hopefully, if I can get everything on my checklist done by Monday we'll have taken care of everything except day-before and day-of stuff. The fact that my fiancee and I haven't tried to kill each other over something by now means, however, that she is definitely a keeper and that I am making the right call by marrying her. I'm sure we'll have fun, but a friend of mine once described pledging a fraternity as "the most fun [I] never want to have again" and that's starting to fit this wedding process more and more. The planning process has been a good bonding experience for us, and even through the stress we're both excited for the actual day, but we're most excited to get through the wedding and its immediate aftermath and go back to normal life. Aquatic Giraffe posted:When wedding planning gets too stressful think of the other weddings you've attended. Can you remember any details beyond general stuff? Probably not. Neither will your guests. Don't stress over the small stuff to make it PERFECT because no one but you will notice if something is slightly off. The thing is, neither of us have been to a wedding since 2010 so a lot of stuff has come up just because we didn't know any of it existed  But I've been told several times that wedding attendees will only remember whether or not theyA. Had fun, and B. Had good food so I'm inclined to agree.
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Aug 14, 2015 12:55
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C-Euro posted:The thing is, neither of us have been to a wedding since 2010 so a lot of stuff has come up just because we didn't know any of it existed Wedding guests remember 3 things...Food, Booze, and Music. Hell, my friend got married last year and I asked her what her centerpieces were and even SHE couldn't remember.
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Aug 14, 2015 14:33
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OssiansFolly posted:Wedding guests remember 3 things...Food, Booze, and Music. Hell, my friend got married last year and I asked her what her centerpieces were and even SHE couldn't remember. haha. On the other hand, I remember our centerpieces quite well, since they were scrabble sets  Honestly music isn't really remember that well either. Food and booze. And maybe the first dance or the kiss or maaaaaaybe one or two lines from the vows or speeches.
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Aug 14, 2015 15:47
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The only thing I remember about my cousin's wedding (the last one I went to) is the bottle of Belvidere my uncle & namesake snuck into the reception  Crossing my fingers that he does the same for mine.
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Aug 14, 2015 15:55
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OssiansFolly posted:Wedding guests remember 3 things...Food, Booze, and Music. Hell, my friend got married last year and I asked her what her centerpieces were and even SHE couldn't remember. Can you tell this to my fiancee please? When we first started planning, we prioritized the list and came up with four things we really wanted: a good venue, good food, good music and enough booze to handle our alcoholic crowd. We overspent on the venue I think, at least according to our budget. Food we got a deal on since we're doing BBQ, our DJ isn't too bad and we're buying our own booze. But now it's like flowers (which we said we didn't care about), favors (which we said we weren't doing), transportation (I understand...we hadn't budgeted, but we have many non-English speakers coming from out of town, plus my side of the family hasn't been here much), etc. These things are adding up and killing our budget. And vendors don't help much either. We went to one florist, said our max budget, including taxes, fees, delivery, etc. could not exceed $1500. His proposal? $4500 plus fees. Nope.
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Aug 14, 2015 16:01
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We are currently working on our guest list and it is around 200 people right now. About what percentage of guests would be expected to RSVP yes? I know it varies from family to family, and there are a core group that I would be surprised if they didn't show, but it's the out of town cousins I wonder about.
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Aug 14, 2015 16:19
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In my experience it depends how "out of town" they are. We sent about 120 to 130 RSVPs out, and in the end wound up with 80 guests. Pretty much everyone who declined is someone who lived out of state, and in particular the vast majority of that was people our age who are too broke and/or busy to make the trip. I think the furthest anyone* is driving for our wedding is four hours, if that helps. *Except my fiancée and I. We're driving ten 
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Aug 14, 2015 16:40
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OssiansFolly posted:I kind of took your advice. After your post I bought her an hour long relaxation massage from a local place for tomorrow during the day. Hopefully that will help her relax a bit, and if need be I can always call a therapist too so she has some outlet that isn't me. Preferably outside the US.
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Aug 14, 2015 17:09
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Mojo Threepwood posted:We are currently working on our guest list and it is around 200 people right now. About what percentage of guests would be expected to RSVP yes? I know it varies from family to family, and there are a core group that I would be surprised if they didn't show, but it's the out of town cousins I wonder about. We invited just over 80 and have about 65 actually coming, so about 80% RSVP'd yes. Almost of the declined were cousins/family friends who live out of province.
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Aug 14, 2015 17:33
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We had mostly out of town guests. We invited 175 and had 100 attend. NEVER EVER EVER invite more people than your venue can accommodate in case of the worst case scenario that everyone does decide to come and there are always last minute additions. Edit: At our wedding my veil popped off 3/4 of the way down the aisle, the readers at the ceremony went out of order, and the centerpiece flowers were the wrong color. Not a single person noticed. Unless something goes horribly wrong and your food is tasty and you have enough alcohol to last the evening (I went to a wedding once where they ran out of booze and the groomsmen had to go on a beer run) no one will notice or care. Problem! fucked around with this message at 18:14 on Aug 14, 2015 |
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Aug 14, 2015 18:10
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:NEVER EVER EVER invite more people than your venue can accommodate in case of the worst case scenario that everyone does decide to come and there are always last minute additions. It seems like it would be hard to find a venue (and budget) that's a good fit for both 175 (max attendance) and 100 (actual attendance). But most people don't have to deal with that level of No RSPVs.
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Aug 14, 2015 18:43
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Rated PG-34 posted:Preferably outside the US. I'd click around that EuropeanDestinations site. I love Ireland, but I am biased since I am Irish. There are lots of beautiful places like Spain, Iceland, and Greece that not many pick. Omne posted:Can you tell this to my fiancee please? When we first started planning, we prioritized the list and came up with four things we really wanted: a good venue, good food, good music and enough booze to handle our alcoholic crowd. We overspent on the venue I think, at least according to our budget. Food we got a deal on since we're doing BBQ, our DJ isn't too bad and we're buying our own booze. Eff that noise. As stated above my fiancé got all flustered and is stressed out, so I basically told her stop doing things. I am now in charge of the table gifts (personalized shot glasses), the center pieces (tada vases and lights), ceremony music (paid DJ $100 to come do it) and making sure we get all the RSVPs back (posted Taken rant on FB telling people I will call them out publically if they don't send them in by deadline). In the words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" Edit: I guess the point I was making is things may be get out of control...just take the path of least resistance and get it done.
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Aug 14, 2015 19:18
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