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Nooooo my mom just told me it's supposed to rain all next week EXECPT for our rehearsal and wedding. I'm willing to bet it will now rain on both of those days too! 
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Aug 14, 2015 19:24
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:We had mostly out of town guests. We invited 175 and had 100 attend. I've read enough horror stories of people with 110% attendance (unexpected plus ones and children being brought when not invited) that I will argue with anyone who says they can invite more than they can afford to host or that their venue will allow (including yourself and your vendors, if it's a fire code thing), it's just asking for trouble. What would you do if you had too many people say yes? Would you uninvited people? Move your wedding? Both are awful situations and inviting more people than you should is just taking a risk that, personally, isn't worth it. And to add to your edit, I agree! The only weddings where I remember anything specific is when the food was bad (dry chicken and fatty steak) and when they didn't send thank yous afterwards. It's been almost 3 years, we're never getting that thank you and it's really soured me on the couple. There were my fiance's family friends and I may have got a bit too tipsy at our engagement party and came dangerously close to asking the bride's parents if we should send them a thank you for their gift or if their family just doesn't do thank yous.
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Aug 14, 2015 20:14
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OssiansFolly posted:Eff that noise. As stated above my fiancé got all flustered and is stressed out, so I basically told her stop doing things. I am now in charge of the table gifts (personalized shot glasses), the center pieces (tada vases and lights), ceremony music (paid DJ $100 to come do it) and making sure we get all the RSVPs back (posted Taken rant on FB telling people I will call them out publically if they don't send them in by deadline). In the words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" Oh I hear you, she's just flustered by all the decisions we need to make and about how we don't have enough to afford all the bells and whistles to make the wedding what she wants. We aren't doing any flowers at the ceremony venue (the chapel is beautiful enough), our ceremony music will be a CD, and I don't want to spend much, if anything, on favors. I'm getting some bomb rear end BBQ for this, plus booze, that's enough for a party. ilysespieces posted:I've read enough horror stories of people with 110% attendance (unexpected plus ones and children being brought when not invited) that I will argue with anyone who says they can invite more than they can afford to host or that their venue will allow (including yourself and your vendors, if it's a fire code thing), it's just asking for trouble. What would you do if you had too many people say yes? Would you uninvited people? Move your wedding? Both are awful situations and inviting more people than you should is just taking a risk that, personally, isn't worth it. Our reception venue is fine with our max number of guests, but our ceremony venue only seats 85 so we're hoping about 15 people decide to skip that part, or kids on laps or something. Not a big deal either way, our ceremony will last 15-20 minutes (that includes being in two different languages).
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Aug 14, 2015 21:02
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smackfu posted:It seems like it would be hard to find a venue (and budget) that's a good fit for both 175 (max attendance) and 100 (actual attendance). But most people don't have to deal with that level of No RSPVs. We were looking at a 140 person venue but bumped to the 200 person venue partially because of the guest list exploding but mostly for other reasons like an easier to access location, better scenery for pictures, and fewer restrictions on decorations and stuff. Once you get over the ~150 person capacity hump the price on venues doesn't really dramatically increase until you hit 500+ person venues at least in our experience. You have to keep in mind that the capacity on most venues is set by fire codes, and not how many people can comfortably fit. Our venue had the 200 person limit but if we'd had 200 people we wouldn't have been able to fit a dance floor and the DJ in there with 20 tables without someone's table being crammed right up next to the speakers. Or we'd put 12+ people at each table and have them awkwardly bumping elbows the whole time.
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Aug 15, 2015 00:10
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I'm going to a wedding next month in Carolina. Do Carolina weddings generally serve BBQ? This is important. somehow this the first wedding I have ever attended
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Aug 15, 2015 02:49
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I'm in charge of the booking for the DJ, and one of the things they offer is a photo booth. From their videos, I've seen its a pro kit in flight cases and an attendant rather than a makeshift one and it sounds like it could be a lot of fun for our wedding (there's no booth, and we're having a beach wedding in the Florida keys). It's going to have to be a factor of going for it if our budget allows and isn't the highest priority, so just enquiring whether people here were glad they got one, or have enjoyed them at other peoples' events. I've only been to a few weddings here, one had an iPad makeshift setup with props and seemed pretty popular. We've already hired a photographer whose work I love (and as an amateur photo nerd I'm quite picky if I'm spending money on doing something I'm into!) so I've no doubts we'll already have amazing photos of the day... but having this on top seems like fun at least. Our guest list is going to be around 75, it's an informal non-religious ceremony and it's a mix of UK and US people. Our friends will be in their 20-30s for the majority, and relatives. Total budget is around $35k and this is down for about $700.
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Aug 16, 2015 15:17
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If your total budget per attendee is north of $400 per person, then I think you should spring for the photo booth. It gives you something to do during reception downtime, and it is a decent way for people who don't know each other at tables to do something silly together. Plus people are more likely to remember you because they've stuck those silly photobooth pictures on their refrigerator/cubicle/whatever and your name is at the bottom.
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Aug 16, 2015 22:08
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I had a photobooth and I thought it was totally worth the money. We ended up paying about $560 for 4 hours of photo booth. We got some great photos of some people that didn't make it into any other photo that the photographer took. The attendant was great and made adjustments to the lighting as the sun went down and whatnot to make sure we got the best pictures, and also made sure nobody was hogging the booth by making out in it or taking inappropriate photos. He also helped the kids get in and take their photos and get their own strips so they could be just like the adults. We made sure to get a booth that offered the ability to print multiple copies of the photo strip and set a little scrapbook table against the booth so people could glue their photos in and leave us little messages. We actually used that instead of a traditional Guest Book.   It saved us money on guest favors and we got a disk with digital HD versions of all the photos. We got to choose the background color and words on the strips too so we had them say our names and the date. We had a blast. 
Buggiezor fucked around with this message at 00:08 on Aug 17, 2015 |
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Aug 17, 2015 00:02
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Just to play devil's advocate, in a day and age where everyone is carrying around a decently-powerful camera that can instantly send pictures to anyone else, I'm not sure if a photo booth is as useful as it once was unless you do something creative with it like Buggiezor showed. I haven't been to a wedding in several years though so I might just be out of touch. I'm not having a photo booth at my wedding (Saturday!) but the real reasons why not are 1. We are barely able to afford this wedding as-is, and 2. Our wedding guests are a bunch of olds who wouldn't get the same enjoyment out of it as if we were actually having people our age attend our wedding. I can't remember where this was, but I heard about a wedding where, in lieu of a photo booth, each table had one or two single-roll disposable cameras for people to take reception photos, and then those got handed in at the end of the night. If you can find some of those that might be a budget alternative, maybe see if you have a Halloween or costume shop to buy a few silly props as well.
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Aug 17, 2015 03:37
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C-Euro posted:Just to play devil's advocate, in a day and age where everyone is carrying around a decently-powerful camera that can instantly send pictures to anyone else, I'm not sure if a photo booth is as useful as it once was unless you do something creative with it like Buggiezor showed. I haven't been to a wedding in several years though so I might just be out of touch. I'm not having a photo booth at my wedding (Saturday!) but the real reasons why not are 1. We are barely able to afford this wedding as-is, and 2. Our wedding guests are a bunch of olds who wouldn't get the same enjoyment out of it as if we were actually having people our age attend our wedding. The photo booth still offers you more than a cell phone though. Get some props in there, a group and be IN the picture...otherwise someone has to take the pictures and then you have to try and gather them all up. My fiancé and I have registered on the app WedPics which is super cool because anyone can take pictures of all kinds of events (wedding shower, bachelorette/bachelor party, rehearsal dinner, etc.), put them into the app and then after the fact if you like the pictures you can order them right from the app. Puts the power of being a photographer in the hands of everyone.
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Aug 17, 2015 14:58
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C-Euro posted:I can't remember where this was, but I heard about a wedding where, in lieu of a photo booth, each table had one or two single-roll disposable cameras for people to take reception photos, and then those got handed in at the end of the night. If you can find some of those that might be a budget alternative, maybe see if you have a Halloween or costume shop to buy a few silly props as well. Yeah these are fairly regular here I think, my friend did it at his wedding recently and I was the only person on our table (about 12 people?) who cared to make use of it. I'm guessing most of the other cameras were half used at best, but you still have to pay the full processing fees for what I'm sure would've been mostly crap photos. It's a nice idea in theory, but I'm not convinced that many keepers will emerge. And there's bound to be at least 10% dong. And that's a minimum. OssiansFolly posted:The photo booth still offers you more than a cell phone though. Get some props in there, a group and be IN the picture...otherwise someone has to take the pictures and then you have to try and gather them all up. My fiancé and I have registered on the app WedPics which is super cool because anyone can take pictures of all kinds of events (wedding shower, bachelorette/bachelor party, rehearsal dinner, etc.), put them into the app and then after the fact if you like the pictures you can order them right from the app. Puts the power of being a photographer in the hands of everyone. Oh that looks neat, thanks. I'm gonna take a look at it properly when I have chance, but I like the concept (at the last destination wedding we did, everyone used a hashtag on instagram which was good, about 10-15 of us in a group all active on it for the 2 weeks we spent there). My wedding is over the space of 5 days plus any extra time people want to spend with us, so I'm expecting people to be pretty busy with their cellphones and this looks a good place to capture it in one place. Neat! Thanks to the others too, it sounds like it would be a lot of fun and my fiancé and I are both fans of the booths we see in nightclubs over here. She was upset when she found out a night I was promoting while she was away was in a club with a booth and she didn't get to use it. The place we're looking at does the 'multiple strips and guest book' idea that Buggiezor used, I think it's a neat idea. And means we get everyones photos even if they drunkenly lose their copies!
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Aug 17, 2015 15:19
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The photo booth has always been a hit at every wedding I have been to, including my own wedding. It'll give guests something to do when they are a little tired from dancing. If it doesn't cost too much I highly recommend it.
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Aug 17, 2015 15:28
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Another app along those lines is WeddingParty. My brother used it for his wedding a few years ago and it was great to see all the photos. Not everyone used it but a good number of the younger folk did. And yeah, disposable cameras are the old school way of doing it, and they don't really make much sense now, IMO. The quality is terrible if it's an inside wedding and it's not cheap to develop them.
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Aug 17, 2015 15:41
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smackfu posted:Another app along those lines is WeddingParty. My brother used it for his wedding a few years ago and it was great to see all the photos. Not everyone used it but a good number of the younger folk did. My friends did the disposable camera route and out of 50 cameras stopped developing after 2 because the pictures were of stupid poo poo, bare asses and the ceiling...it cost more to develop and see what was in there than they wanted to worry about. I still have one of their cameras...I should get it developed to see what is on there for their 5 year anniversary...
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Aug 17, 2015 15:57
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We actually are putting vintage cameras on the tables as decoration (you can get pretty nice cameras at tag sales for $10), and were pondering whether it was worth it to make them functioning. Our conclusion was that the film and developing would be hella expensive, and people would probably gently caress up taking photos anyway. We did get a vintage Polaroid that we might try to get working.
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Aug 17, 2015 16:09
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smackfu posted:We actually are putting vintage cameras on the tables as decoration (you can get pretty nice cameras at tag sales for $10), and were pondering whether it was worth it to make them functioning. Our conclusion was that the film and developing would be hella expensive, and people would probably gently caress up taking photos anyway. We did get a vintage Polaroid that we might try to get working. I can't do this because I'd end up with lots of dick pics I didn't want...my friends suck.
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Aug 17, 2015 17:31
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Less than 3 weeks to go and I'm working on all the music for everything. My fiancé just had a mini panic attack about the reception because I'm obviously choosing songs people will dance to and he gets really self-conscious about dancing and feels like an idiot. But I love dancing and am super excited about getting to dance and have fun with some friends I haven't seen in awhile. He's got it in his head that we have to spend ALL of our time together, which I will agree to for the ceremony, dinner, cocktail hour etc but we'll have already been together for 7 hours straight and talked to probably all 70 guests by the time all of that is over so I don't see a big deal in spending some time apart doing the things we like. Though this is so far the biggest "disagreement" we've had between the 2 of us through this whole process so I suppose we lucked out there!
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Aug 18, 2015 01:44
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My wife was the complete opposite. If we could have pulled off wearing handcuffs at the reception without it being ridiculous, she would have done it. As for the dance trepidation, just get a good level of alcohol in your future husband, start with some easy line dances like the wobble, and he will be fine.
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Aug 18, 2015 02:26
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Dammit, just had one of my friends bail on my wedding at the last minute Not counting my groomsmen, I now have two people from our "My Friends" category attending, and one of them was invited by mistake! Thank goodness my parents are paying for all of the "scale-up" costs, if I had to pay a bunch of money for a dozen of my mom's friends who I've never met while only one or two of my friends showed up I would have been very cross. At least old people like getting drunk and listening to dad rock, because that's what I like to do and that's probably how this reception will shake out (maybe that's why I don't have any friends, heh...)
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Aug 18, 2015 02:40
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My fiancee is completely okay with the idea of getting married in her parents' backyard. For me, that is a backup plan. Trying to find a cheap mountain venue is really frustrating me, and she thinks I'm just being a groomzilla. I don't think she recognizes how much work planning a wedding is, and I'm not sure what to assign her to give her an idea of what we're in for.
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Aug 18, 2015 17:53
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22 Eargesplitten posted:My fiancee is completely okay with the idea of getting married in her parents' backyard. For me, that is a backup plan. Trying to find a cheap mountain venue is really frustrating me, and she thinks I'm just being a groomzilla. I don't think she recognizes how much work planning a wedding is, and I'm not sure what to assign her to give her an idea of what we're in for. A lot of your posts come across like you're steamrolling ahead with your vision what the wedding should be and your fiancée is just along for the ride. Planning should be a joint effort, you shouldn't have to "assign" her tasks. Maybe she's being passive about planning because she feels like she doesn't have much of a say or because you've already covered most of it.
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Aug 18, 2015 18:16
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Maybe I'm an rear end in a top hat, then. I'll have to think about it. She just hasn't seemed to take any interest in it at all. When I have tried to get input, I haven't really gotten anything. She did just offer to take it over along with her mother between this post and the last. I'll let her do that. I mean, I'm not just going to hand it to her and then completely ditch her, but if she feels capable of taking charge, I'm happy to have her do it. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 18:51 on Aug 18, 2015 |
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Aug 18, 2015 18:48
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Definitely work together and definitely rope in family if they are willing, I'm losing my mind over here just trying to confirm stuff ahead of Saturday and I can't imagine having to set it all up on my own. Also I don't think assigning tasks is a bad idea but there should be discussion about it beforehand, and not just sending someone off on their own to handle something. For example you can research something together, come to a consensus, and then one person can say "I am going to call this vendor and get them locked in".  He'll know tomorrow, fingers crossed people! But he can't find a plane ticket earlier than the morning of the wedding. Solve one problem and jump right into another!
C-Euro fucked around with this message at 00:16 on Aug 19, 2015 |
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Aug 18, 2015 18:56
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I think it will definitely be easy to get her mother to help. Her firstborn never had a ceremony, so this is the only one she is going to get. She's making the dress completely from scratch. E: Well, crisis averted. I realized why I was so set on the mountains, found something else that would be just as good but cheaper, and now we don't need to worry about venue. We just need to figure out the date next, probably. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 20:35 on Aug 18, 2015 |
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Aug 18, 2015 19:15
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The pastor from my old church is doing our ceremony, we get along with him great. Maybe too great. He just sent an email inviting himself to our reception. He also wants to bring his intern to observe the day, the intern wants to bring a date. 5 days out, is this poo poo over yet?
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Aug 18, 2015 22:29
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bathhouse posted:The pastor from my old church is doing our ceremony, we get along with him great. Maybe too great. He just sent an email inviting himself to our reception. He also wants to bring his intern to observe the day, the intern wants to bring a date. 5 days out, is this poo poo over yet? Wow, I can understand your pastor attending the reception but it seems a bit of a stretch for his intern AND the intern's date to want invites at the last minute. On another (kind of related??) note: What is the average cost people are spending on food per guest? I know it varies by state and I did Google it but I tend not to trust the wedding websites. Food is the main thing we're really willing to spend money on but we also don't want to over-spend. For reference, we're having it in central WA with 75 people, buffet style and we'd like to stay under $12k.
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Aug 19, 2015 00:26
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We are in NYC and getting under $100 per guest for food alone (no booze) would be an achievement.
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Aug 19, 2015 01:01
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Tater Love 
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In total we are paying about 45 per guest for food in Southern Oregon, upscale venue for the area. 128 adults, 11 kids. You should be fine. Here is our menu: quote:Trays Passed: bathhouse fucked around with this message at 01:53 on Aug 19, 2015 |
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Aug 19, 2015 01:47
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C-Euro posted:Nooooo my mom just told me it's supposed to rain all next week EXECPT for our rehearsal and wedding. I'm willing to bet it will now rain on both of those days too! I cannot tell you how many weddings I've done where it's rained first thing in the morning and it's over by the ceremony. If it rains, don't panic. You can try calling local hotels to see if they'd be willing to let you use their lobby for photos. Some charge, but most don't. Then you've at least got a back up.
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Aug 19, 2015 01:50
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Not counting drinks (we have to provide our own alcohol) our caterer is charging us about $50 per person, for 80 people in SE Michigan. This is supposedly one of the more expensive caterers in the area too.
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Aug 19, 2015 01:51
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Chessna posted:Wow, I can understand your pastor attending the reception but it seems a bit of a stretch for his intern AND the intern's date to want invites at the last minute. My food is $32/person for buffet style no reserve on trips to food. Then since I am bringing my own alcohol they tacked on $7/person for the full wash bar (fine by me). We decided to have a serving station for the top round so that is another $3. All in all we are at $42/person for food and basic non-alcoholic drinks. That number includes a cheese and cracker station, a fruit table and pastries. We opted to NOT have appetizers before dinner and instead asked them if we could have them make us some pizza around 10:30 or 11:00 so people can get a little food in their systems before the end of the reception.
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Aug 19, 2015 13:36
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OssiansFolly posted:My food is $32/person for buffet style no reserve on trips to food. Then since I am bringing my own alcohol they tacked on $7/person for the full wash bar (fine by me). We decided to have a serving station for the top round so that is another $3. All in all we are at $42/person for food and basic non-alcoholic drinks. That number includes a cheese and cracker station, a fruit table and pastries. We opted to NOT have appetizers before dinner and instead asked them if we could have them make us some pizza around 10:30 or 11:00 so people can get a little food in their systems before the end of the reception. drat, y'all are making me love my caterer. For a grand total of $19/person, we are getting a traditional Memphis BBQ buffet, complete with pulled pork shoulder, smoked chicken breast sliders, beans, cole slaw, caesar salad, two appetizers (haven't picked the second one, but one will be a sausage and cheese plate), plus all set-ups for the bar. About 110-115 guests in total.
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Aug 19, 2015 20:16
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Omne posted:drat, y'all are making me love my caterer. I loving hate you
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Aug 19, 2015 20:33
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Thanks for the responses everyone! Originally we were thinking $20/person (just for the food) but now we're thinking more $35. I'd rather take money from the flower/decor budget and add it to food. I used the Knot's budget calculator and it made me freak out a bit. We have a BBQ option around that same price and I love BBQ at weddings but I'm one of those people who ALWAYS spills on myself so I'd rather not risk it. I don't want to eat covered in a table cloth!
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Aug 19, 2015 21:10
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So we are pricing out vendors and BBQ seems a popular and not terribly expensive option. If we did BBQ, how did you make allowances for vegetarians / vegans? We will have guests with those restrictions and I don't want to make them eat just mac & cheese and cole slaw or just salad for vegans because even the collard greens have ham hock. I'm a former veggie and having only those options is a bummer, and I want to be accommodating.
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Aug 19, 2015 22:36
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Veggie (and tofu?) skewers, obligatory mushroom dish, stuffed peppers, some nice rice or cous cous dish?
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Aug 20, 2015 11:48
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Halloumi is awesome on a BBQ, as are ginormous mushrooms (like portabellos). Could you request the greens without ham hock? Or half with, half without?
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Aug 20, 2015 11:53
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Nicol Bolas posted:So we are pricing out vendors and BBQ seems a popular and not terribly expensive option. If we did BBQ, how did you make allowances for vegetarians / vegans? We will have guests with those restrictions and I don't want to make them eat just mac & cheese and cole slaw or just salad for vegans because even the collard greens have ham hock. I'm a former veggie and having only those options is a bummer, and I want to be accommodating. This is why I chose to use the reception hall for catering and not look outside for it. For no charge they will cook whatever me and my bride want for ourselves, and they will accommodate anyone with food allergies or restrictions. I love the food we picked (chicken parm and roast beef), but I wanted coconut chicken and garlic crusted new potatoes. The planner at the hall didn't even bat an eye at it...she just said "do you want a sauce for the chicken?" I know I could have gotten a cheaper per person price, but with the amount of extra work the ladies at the hall are doing for us I don't mind paying a tad more to stress ourselves out a ton less.
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Aug 20, 2015 15:43
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Nicol Bolas posted:So we are pricing out vendors and BBQ seems a popular and not terribly expensive option. If we did BBQ, how did you make allowances for vegetarians / vegans? We will have guests with those restrictions and I don't want to make them eat just mac & cheese and cole slaw or just salad for vegans because even the collard greens have ham hock. I'm a former veggie and having only those options is a bummer, and I want to be accommodating. Our caterer gave us the following piece of advice: do not alter your menu to cater to one or two people who are vegetarian. Tell the caterer and they can make special dishes for those people. Now, if you're Indian or otherwise vegetarian and a good chunk of your guests are too, then certainly cater. But for us, I know for a fact that we will have less than 5 vegetarians, so I'm not altering what I want to serve at my wedding for them. I'll make sure they have a separate plate for their meals.
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Aug 20, 2015 23:04
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| # ? May 12, 2024 00:03 |
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Omne posted:Our caterer gave us the following piece of advice: do not alter your menu to cater to one or two people who are vegetarian. Tell the caterer and they can make special dishes for those people. Now, if you're Indian or otherwise vegetarian and a good chunk of your guests are too, then certainly cater. But for us, I know for a fact that we will have less than 5 vegetarians, so I'm not altering what I want to serve at my wedding for them. I'll make sure they have a separate plate for their meals. Reminds me of this that went around last year. Edit: Derp not Reddit links...
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Aug 21, 2015 15:24
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