NCAA Offseason N/V: Yet Another National Champion From The SEC

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NCAA Offseason N/V: Yet Another National Champion From The SEC

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vikingstrike: Sep 23, 2007; whats happening, captain

MindlessHavok posted:

Our dog mascot stays healthy so we've gotta do something to keep up with the Uga rotation.

Season hasn't even started yet and the latest Uga already looks like he's ready to kick the can.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 14:38

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# ? May 25, 2024 01:05

Henchman of Santa: Aug 21, 2010

computer parts posted:

I heard he pinched a nerve or something in his throwing arm which is part of why he's an RB now.

You say this like he ever had a prayer of being an NFL quarterback.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 14:38

Joey Freshwater: Jun 20, 2004; Always playing with my meat; Grimey Drawer

vikingstrike posted:

Season hasn't even started yet and the latest Uga already looks like he's ready to kick the can.

Wait what happened to Russ

# ? Aug 20, 2015 14:56

Raku: Nov 7, 2012; Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide

MindlessHavok posted:

Wait what happened to Russ

What happens to everything that has knees and stays in Athens

# ? Aug 20, 2015 15:18

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

Raku posted:

What happens to everything that has knees and stays in Athens

Oh wow.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 15:24

Joey Freshwater: Jun 20, 2004; Always playing with my meat; Grimey Drawer

Raku posted:

What happens to everything that has knees and stays in Athens

# ? Aug 20, 2015 15:26

vikingstrike: Sep 23, 2007; whats happening, captain

I think they retired him and we are now on Que. Real talk: I wish they would just stop with the who Uga thing. The inbreeding is gross and the dogs barely live for more than a couple of years, not that bulldogs in general live too much longer.

Raku posted:

What happens to everything that has knees and stays in Athens

Holy poo poo.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 15:27

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

Raku posted:

What happens to everything that has knees and stays in Athens

goddamn

# ? Aug 20, 2015 15:29

Webbeh: Dec 13, 2003; IF THIS IS A 'LOST' THREAD I'M PROBABLY WHINING ABOUT
STABBEY THE MEANY

Raku posted:

What happens to everything that has knees and stays in Athens

# ? Aug 20, 2015 16:00

Farking Bastage: Sep 22, 2007; Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!

We gon' lose to Tennessee

# ? Aug 20, 2015 16:04

Joey Freshwater: Jun 20, 2004; Always playing with my meat; Grimey Drawer

Farking Bastage posted:

We gon' lose to Tennessee

Beating Florida and Georgia in the same season for the first time in 10 years would have me like :jackbud:

# ? Aug 20, 2015 16:15

Mike_V: Jul 31, 2004; 3/18/2023: Day of the Dorks

News: Mizzou starting DT Josh 'Big Bear' Augusta came into camp at 360 lbs ( :wow:

) but is trying to get down to 335. Dude could only apparently play 4 or 5 snaps in a row before he had to get off the field.

Views: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOVsBMEcARo

# ? Aug 20, 2015 16:16

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

Only 2 weeks to football.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 16:17

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

Mike_V posted:

News: Mizzou starting DT Josh 'Big Bear' Augusta came into camp at 360 lbs ( ) but is trying to get down to 335. Dude could only apparently play 4 or 5 snaps in a row before he had to get off the field.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-dZGsd2rAY

# ? Aug 20, 2015 16:24

kayakyakr: Feb 16, 2004; Kayak is true

Mike_V posted:

News: Mizzou starting DT Josh 'Big Bear' Augusta came into camp at 360 lbs ( ) but is trying to get down to 335. Dude could only apparently play 4 or 5 snaps in a row before he had to get off the field.

Views: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOVsBMEcARo

TTU starting DT Rika Levi went from 360 down to 320 this offseason. Same deal. Except no int.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 16:31

D.N. Nation: Feb 1, 2012

MindlessHavok posted:

Wait what happened to Russ

Russ is the fattest UGA I've ever seen, and we're talking UGAs here. Dude was svelte and healthy when he filled in as the interim dog, but the minute they gave him the Sanford Stadium doghouse and the nut ice, he ballooned. Poor guy.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 16:46

Real Name Grover: Feb 13, 2002; Like corn on the cob; Fan of Britches

So Idaho coach Paul Petrino (brother of Bobby) lashed out at a local reporter during practice yesterday. The reporter's response:

quote:

Spotting a fiery, vehement Paul Petrino galloping up and down the SprinTurf sidelines isn't difficult. That's how the Idaho football coach is, both towards players and assistants, almost all the time, whether he's dishing out punishment or offering praise.

And in today's college football culture, berating players and coaches is commonplace. To most - including myself - it shows passion, mostly. And frankly, it's expected at a program that has two wins in as many years under Petrino.

But when a coach needs to be restrained from angrily approaching a member of the media, because he can't control his temper? Well, that's another story.

That's this story.

At the end of Wednesday's practice, Petrino turned to the sideline and asked me and a reporter from the Lewiston Tribune, "Did you guys see enough deep balls today?" He was referring to my story in Wednesday's paper discussing the team's work-in-progress vertical passing attack.

I thought he was being sarcastic, so I responded accordingly.

"A couple," I replied.

"Yeah, there were a bunch," the other reporter answered.

Petrino wasn't just sarcastic; he was very much upset. He went on to immediately ban the media from today's practice, yelling, "If all you're going to write is negative (expletive) then none of you need to be here!"

I dismissed it as a lack of awareness, perhaps not realizing that while we were in fact on the football field, neither I nor the Tribune writer were his players, and we don't respond to being spoken to that way.

But moments later, Petrino walked up to me and the Tribune reporter just outside the practice field and began to scream in my face, loudly informing us how many deep balls the team completed Wednesday. He then went on to chide us for our inaccurate criticisms of quarterback Matt Linehan and our lack of football knowledge, walking away saying, "You don't even know what the (expletive) you're talking about! Do your (expletive) job!"

Then he turned back and started to move toward me, still angrily shouting expletives about my writing and my professionalism while being physically restrained by one of his assistants, approaching me as if he had plans to do something other than verbally express his concerns.

I stood quietly, choosing not to engage with him, instead waiting for him to lower his voice and talk to me like a man. I never had the chance. He just walked away.

What if he had not been restrained? Would he have physically tried to harm me or the other reporter? Would he have tried to make me do up-downs? Hopefully we never find out. Regardless, Petrino's outburst raises several red flags about his professionalism and maturity.

Let's be clear, Petrino never sat in my living room and begged me to play for him. My name isn't listed on the roster. He has no right to behave that way towards me. I am not a Vandal. And the fact someone had to hold him back from approaching me is unacceptable.

I'm an adult, a professional journalist and, so far, the only media member who has attended all 14 of his team's fall practices, providing more in-depth coverage than this program has seen in years.

If Petrino disagrees with what I write - it wouldn't be the first time, he's addressed that with me before - that's fine. I disagree with the players he makes available to the media. We have never talked to star senior receiver Dezmon Epps -- despite several requests -- and after the final two home losses of the 2014 season, we weren't allowed to speak with any players at all.

And yet, no one has had to restrain me from Petrino. Not once. That's the issue here. This veteran football coach appears to be struggling with the spotlight associated with his first head coaching job, a lot more than I'm struggling with the spotlight on my first sports editor job.

Is Petrino a bad guy? I don't think so. Is he in a high-stress position? Sure. Does that give him the right to stand in my face and berate me like I'm a true freshman who just threw an interception? Absolutely not.

Petrino complained that the media coverage of his team is too negative. A visit to Dnews.com is all that's needed to refute that claim. I pride myself on objectivity and accuracy, whether it's reporting on small-town wrestling or Division I football.

I also pride myself on maturity and professionalism. I can't say the same for Petrino.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 16:50

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

D.N. Nation posted:

Russ is the fattest UGA I've ever seen, and we're talking UGAs here. Dude was svelte and healthy when he filled in as the interim dog, but the minute they gave him the Sanford Stadium doghouse and the nut ice, he ballooned. Poor guy.

I wish I could get regular nut ice.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 16:52

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

Real Name Grover posted:

So Idaho coach Paul Petrino (brother of Bobby) lashed out at a local reporter during practice yesterday. The reporter's response:

"This veteran football coach appears to be struggling with the spotlight associated with his first head coaching job"

I get what he's saying, but what spotlight comes with the Idaho job?

# ? Aug 20, 2015 16:53

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

Real Name Grover posted:

So Idaho coach Paul Petrino (brother of Bobby) lashed out at a local reporter during practice yesterday. The reporter's response:

I assume Harbaugh does weird stuff like make make reporters do as many push ups as possible in a minute, and only respond to questions from the top three.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 16:54

Regnevelc: Jan 12, 2003; I'M A GROWN ASS MAN!

Thoguh posted:

I assume Harbaugh does weird stuff like make make reporters do as many push ups as possible in a minute, and only respond to questions from the top three.

Nah, Harbaugh answers questions from children and tells them to drink milk.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 17:09

the mean lunch lady: Jun 24, 2009; went mad at sea
lots were drawn
Kroenke didn't survive
he was delicious

Mike_V posted:

News: Mizzou starting DT Josh 'Big Bear' Augusta came into camp at 360 lbs ( ) but is trying to get down to 335. Dude could only apparently play 4 or 5 snaps in a row before he had to get off the field.

Views: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOVsBMEcARo

He retired the Big Bear nickname and is now the Juggernaut, but he owns

# ? Aug 20, 2015 17:16

Invicta{HOG}, M.D.: Jan 16, 2002

Tad SG posted:

Ricky Town is reportedly visiting Arkansas as we speak. Maybe we'll have a reverse Mitch Mustain situation here!

(In which case, he'll transfer and then never start for Arkansas).

It is a bit strange that he would transfer to Arkansas. We aren't (yet) a great team, we aren't well known for our QBs (yet), and we actually have a number of good QBs in the pipeline. This year we have a three year starter and his brother is heir apparent. We have a redshirt freshman and a true freshman who was just two places below Town on rankings.

I guess you don't look a gift horse in the mouth but it's the one position I'm not too worried about in the future and would much rather have a RB at this point. I would much rather have had Jordan Stevenson.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 17:17

Groucho Marxist: Dec 9, 2005; Do you smell what The Mauk is cooking?

That highlight just makes me miss Fake Punt Specialist Harold Brantley even more.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 17:17

LeeMajors: Jan 20, 2005; I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!

MindlessHavok posted:

Our dog mascot stays healthy so we've gotta do something to keep up with the Uga rotation.

You guys have enough experience with inbreeding to rectify this.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 18:26

RumbleFish: Dec 20, 2007

Vandy just lost their starting left tackle for the season because of a knee injury.

Poor Vandy.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 18:49

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

Today, ESPN gives us a video to explain why Hack was genetically engineered from samples of Brady, Manning, and Montana DNA to make the greatest quarterback ever

# ? Aug 20, 2015 19:06

Ben Has Tiny Weenus: Feb 17, 2007; MSU Will Not Be National Champions

So I really should learn to shut the hole under my nose.

RumbleFish posted:

Vandy just lost their starting left tackle for the season because of a knee injury.

Poor Vandy.

I want to see Vandy vs. Kansas in the Terribowl

Came here to post this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mBzuWMEH_0

Mississippi State's video department, which is only a year old now, is apparently replacing the lame as all hell weekly coaching show with a weekly inside the program video, and this is the trailer for it. Click if you like great production values with a sports movie aesthetic. The season can't get here fast enough.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 19:10

pillsburysoldier: Feb 11, 2008; Yo, peep that shit

Hack is like negative McGloin

# ? Aug 20, 2015 19:11

D.N. Nation: Feb 1, 2012

RumbleFish posted:

Vandy just lost their starting left tackle for the season because of a knee injury.

Poor Vandy.

http://www.fbschedules.com/ncaa-15/sec/2015-vanderbilt-commodores-football-schedule.php

Does anyone not see 1-11 in that? Vandy, yeesh.

I only wish this was all happening to James Franklin.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 19:18

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

Ben Has Tiny Weenus posted:

I want to see Vandy vs. Kansas in the Terribowl

I legitimately want their to be toilet bowls at the end of each season between the worst teams in each conference. And not only because that's the only way my team would go to a bowl.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 19:27

LeeMajors: Jan 20, 2005; I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!

pillsburysoldier posted:

Hack is like negative McGloin

1/McGloin

# ? Aug 20, 2015 19:40

kayakyakr: Feb 16, 2004; Kayak is true

Surprise Onside Scholarship:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbVxwHfRk2Q

# ? Aug 20, 2015 19:40

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

kayakyakr posted:

Surprise Onside Scholarship:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbVxwHfRk2Q

Walk-ons getting scholarships during camp is always the most :unsmith:

thing ever.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 20:39

Thermos H Christ: Sep 6, 2007; WINNINGEST BEVO

Welp, Texas is suddenly in trouble at the TE position. Andrew Beck is out indefinitely with an unspecified knee injury and now Blake Whitely just tore his ACL, so his season is done. Right now we have a true freshman (Deandre McNeal) and a hastily converted WR of no particular note (Garrett Gray). There's another true freshman (Devonaire Clarington) who needs to score 12 or higher on the ACT next week to be eligible for the fall semester.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 21:07

KKKLIP ART: Sep 3, 2004

D.N. Nation posted:

http://www.fbschedules.com/ncaa-15/sec/2015-vanderbilt-commodores-football-schedule.php

Does anyone not see 1-11 in that? Vandy, yeesh.

I only wish this was all happening to James Franklin.

I see 3 wins and maybe an upset or two

# ? Aug 20, 2015 21:08

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

Thermos H Christ posted:

Welp, Texas is suddenly in trouble at the TE position. Andrew Beck is out indefinitely with an unspecified knee injury and now Blake Whitely just tore his ACL, so his season is done. Right now we have a true freshman (Deandre McNeal) and a hastily converted WR of no particular note (Garrett Gray). There's another true freshman (Devonaire Clarington) who needs to score 12 or higher on the ACT next week to be eligible for the fall semester.

Wouldn't you get at least that many points if you just filled in "A" for everything?

# ? Aug 20, 2015 21:09

Scarf: Jun 24, 2005; On sight

I'd like to see Vandy do better, but drat if I can't root against Austin Peay simply because of their logo:

They also rival Vandy in terms of creepy mascots:

edit: holy hell their official athletics website is LetsGoPeay dot com.

Scarf fucked around with this message at 21:14 on Aug 20, 2015

# ? Aug 20, 2015 21:11

Thermos H Christ: Sep 6, 2007; WINNINGEST BEVO

Thoguh posted:

Wouldn't you get at least that many points if you just filled in "A" for everything?

I don't know much about the ACT, but he definitely managed to score too low before. Then he re-took it and his score was so high that the ACT people refused to accept it on suspicion of shenanigans. So now he's taking it a third time and we'll see.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 21:24

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# ? May 25, 2024 01:05

RumbleFish: Dec 20, 2007

KKKLIP ART posted:

I see 3 wins and maybe an upset or two

You're not including WKU in that group of wins, right? Because they could absolutely beat Vanderbilt.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 21:30

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NCAA Offseason N/V: Yet Another National Champion From The SEC

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