Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Amazing Zimmo
Jan 27, 2006

That's quite a load you got in them diapers
The best reboot of all time

Amazing Zimmo fucked around with this message at 10:21 on Aug 23, 2015

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Atma
Sep 16, 2002

College Slice

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Hang on, we don't have to fear fire anymore, right? And we know she is down below, so...

>Use Spyglass with Sun on Ship to set the whole thing on fire.

You're determined to remove all traces of this cursed ship. There is nothing left worth saving here. Burn it all down and let God sort it out.

You gather together some of the colored clothing from the butchered men. Using it as a form of crude tinder, you carefully angle your telescope to the sun and steadily focus it into the fabric.

It takes some practice. You're only able to get a wisp of smoke at first. You know you can't give up. You blow gently on anything that seems to be the beginning of a flame.

After what seems like hours, you finally have a small fire. The wood on deck is suitably dry in this arid climate, and before long your flames begin to spread quickly.



As the flames begin to lick at the rigging, you climb overboard and walk to a safe distance.

You watch as the ship becomes completely engulfed in flame.



You hear a sizzling. The heat of the blaze begins to melt the ice around the ship, freeing it from its frozen prison. It slowly sinks down into the waters below, far out of sight.

All becomes quiet. You feel better knowing whatever evils were within that ship have been sent to the bottom of the sea.

Suddenly, the ice underneath your feet begins to pulse. A crack appears nearby. The pulses continue and the crack expands further, revealing a frigid pool of water beneath.



You spread your feet and hold steady, gazing into the icy pool.

A woman's face emerges from the inky blue depth of the ocean, startling you.

She is smiling. Her wild hair flows around her in all directions. She never breaks the surface, yet you somehow hear her when she speaks.

"You've done well," she croons in a soft voice, "though I didn't expect you'd burn the ship."

She seems mildly irritated for a moment. "Well, no matter, I suppose we are done there now, anyway. Corpses make for poor company"



"The question we have now is what to do with you?" she grins wickedly. "You did such a good job disposing of the rest of the outsiders. Very impressive work, truly. I felt you cheated a bit by asking for help from that silly Peacock, though. Were you not man enough to complete the task on your own?" she teases.

"No matter. I knew I chose the right man for the job. Do you feel no remorse at all for what you've done?" She looks you up and down, a hint of disgust in her eyes. "I expected as much. Outsiders think of nothing but their own well being. This is how they roused my ire in the first place." Her gentle voice is tempered with anger.

"You had the power to help them, you know. I was right to leave you with free will - it makes the end result all the more satisfying."

She flips around in the water playfully, then settles back into conversation.

"Now then, your reward," she sighs. "I'll let you choose how you die." Her lips curl into a menacing smile.

"What shall it be?"

> :ovr:

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

"Hi Everybody!"
>Piss on her.:ovr:

Amorphous Blob
Jun 26, 2009

by Lowtax

(and can't post for 2 years!)

>tell your ex wife you want your car and dog back

Automatic Slim
Jul 1, 2007

Amorphous Blob posted:

>tell your ex wife you want your car and dog back

Butt Wizard
Nov 3, 2005

It was a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Self-inflicted Stone Cold Stunner.

ContinuityNewTimes
Dec 30, 2010

Я выдуман напрочь

Neddy Seagoon posted:

>Piss on her.:ovr:

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

Amorphous Blob posted:

>tell your ex wife you want your car and dog back

Amazing Zimmo
Jan 27, 2006

That's quite a load you got in them diapers
> Punch the oval office in the throat

mod saas
May 4, 2004

Grimey Drawer

Amorphous Blob posted:

>tell your ex wife you want your car and dog back

Poland Spring
Sep 11, 2005

Amorphous Blob posted:

>tell your ex wife you want your car and dog back

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Amorphous Blob posted:

>tell your ex wife you want your car and dog back

And piss on her after.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Amorphous Blob posted:

>tell your ex wife you want your car and dog back

This then piss on her

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you


Butt Wizard posted:

Self-inflicted Stone Cold Stunner.

Die doing what we loved

almightyerin
Apr 16, 2007

The one the only. Accept no substitutes.
> "Balls deep in your rear end, Baby." Spit in your hand and stroke yourself while leering at her suggestively.

Vagon
Oct 22, 2005

Teehee!

Amorphous Blob posted:

>tell your ex wife you want your car and dog back

Seriously, Sharon, can you just be serious for one minute here?


edit: wait. we might have a worthy opponent for the arena in her..

Arena battle for our fate the fate of our car and dog.

Vagon fucked around with this message at 13:01 on Aug 23, 2015

Blizzy_Cow
Feb 27, 2006
When one burns one's bridges, what a wonderful fire it makes

Amazing Zimmo posted:

> Punch using the last vestiges of Snowku power left in us we kameha wave that oval office in the throat

Ftfy

Xelkelvos
Dec 19, 2012
> death by snu-snu

Mymla
Aug 12, 2010

Vagon posted:

Arena battle for our fate the fate of our car and dog.

Soulhunter
Dec 2, 2005

This is the moment you've trained for,

>Squat and scream for the next hour until you power up the egg and return to rainbow form

>Gather energy into your colon and unleash your Final Shat

Shankel Magnus
Jul 4, 2007

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!
>smirk and inform her that you've only been using 10% of your actual power level. Then stand in place and scream as loud as you can for HOURS (or at least until the egg charges back up)

egon_beeblebrox
Mar 1, 2008

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.



>Eat the Egg

Borden
Jul 23, 2008

Death by Stone Cold Stunner!

Nodelphi
Jan 30, 2004

We are all quite capable of believing in anything as long as it's improbable.

Ham Wrangler

Shankel Magnus posted:

>smirk and inform her that you've only been using 10% of your actual power level. Then stand in place and scream as loud as you can for HOURS (or at least until the egg charges back up)

Fargin Icehole
Feb 19, 2011

Pet me.

Shankel Magnus posted:

>smirk and inform her that you've only been using 10% of your actual power level. Then stand in place and scream as loud as you can for HOURS (or at least until the egg charges back up)

tote up a bags
Jun 8, 2006

die stoats die

>"of old age please"

Segata Sanshiro
Sep 10, 2011

we can live for nothing
baby i don't care

lose me like the ocean
feel the motion

:coolfish:

Xelkelvos posted:

> death by snu-snu

Excelzior
Jun 24, 2013

Xelkelvos posted:

> death by snu-snu

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Pillbug
> suck her dick

Ghetto Prince
Sep 11, 2010

got to be mellow, y'all
> cage match

Alien Sex Manual
Dec 14, 2010

is not a sandwich

Vagon posted:

Seriously, Sharon, can you just be serious for one minute here?


edit: wait. we might have a worthy opponent for the arena in her..

Arena battle for our fate the fate of our car and dog.

Worldshatter
May 7, 2015

:kazooieass:PEPSI for TV-GAME:kazooieass:



> Challenge her to a ladder match

Concerned Citizen
Jul 22, 2007
Ramrod XTreme
>tell her you want to die of old age after a long, satisfying life in the company of your friends and family

Zombiepop
Mar 30, 2010
Recharge the egg somehow and then battle her in the arena

Kegslayer
Jul 23, 2007

Shankel Magnus posted:

>smirk and inform her that you've only been using 10% of your actual power level. Then stand in place and scream as loud as you can for HOURS (or at least until the egg charges back up)

plain blue jacket
Jan 13, 2014

IT DOESN'T STOP
IT NEVER STOPS

Amorphous Blob posted:

>tell your ex wife you want your car and dog back

EngineerSean
Feb 9, 2004

by zen death robot

Concerned Citizen posted:

>tell her you want to die of old age after a long, satisfying life in the company of your friends and family

This is the canon ending.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret

Xelkelvos posted:

> death by snu-snu

wilderthanmild
Jun 21, 2010

Posting shit




Grimey Drawer

Neddy Seagoon posted:

>Piss on her.:ovr:

If she kills us whilst pissing, we need to shout "Freedooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom" like Mel Gibson in Braveheart.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Sonic Dude
May 6, 2009
Tell her you want to die from exhaustion after clubbing thousands of baby seals.

  • Locked thread