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Neckties are nice "improv" blindfolds. Handkerchiefs too.
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Aug 21, 2015 21:05
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Let's say I'm about to do sexy stuff with someone new that I've only met once, twice, maybe three times. Is there a polite way of asking if she's "clean"? Should I be clear to ask when she was last tested and whether it was for everything, including herpes, or just accept "yeah, I'm clean, I [got tested three years ago | three months ago | after my last sexual partner | never but I've never noticed anything weird, trust me]  "? Is it common to ask to see someone's most recent test results or would that be weird?
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Aug 22, 2015 02:54
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EB Nulshit posted:Let's say I'm about to do sexy stuff with someone new that I've only met once, twice, maybe three times. Is there a polite way of asking if she's "clean"? Should I be clear to ask when she was last tested and whether it was for everything, including herpes, or just accept "yeah, I'm clean, I [got tested three years ago | three months ago | after my last sexual partner | never but I've never noticed anything weird, trust me] Use protection?
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Aug 22, 2015 03:13
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That doesn't do anything for herpes if I go down on someone who has it.
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Aug 22, 2015 03:20
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You've answered your own question. You are uncomfortable with the idea of getting STDs (rightfully so) and you need to be upfront with her about it.
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Aug 22, 2015 03:29
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You could use a dental dam (make your own by cutting open a condom or using non-microwaveable cling film). Asking to see someone's hard-copy test results is very weird. If it makes you feel any better, you probably already have oral herpes since more than 80% of the North American population does. Herpes is the common cold of STIs.
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Aug 22, 2015 04:32
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Dogfish posted:You could use a dental dam (make your own by cutting open a condom or using non-microwaveable cling film). Asking to see someone's hard-copy test results is very weird. I thought using a dental dam was considered very weird, though. Is it more or less weird than asking to see someone's hard-copy test results?
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Aug 22, 2015 04:34
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I would be less weirded out by someone using a dental dam than asking to see my confidential medical information. It's also a bit weird that you're this worried about getting a cold sore, though.
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Aug 22, 2015 04:39
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Considering that 90% of people would not bang you if you've ever had a cold sore, I think it's reasonable.
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Aug 22, 2015 04:43
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That is insanity. Why would you think that? I get cold sores, most of my sex partners have known that, none have cared. I literally just say "Oh, I get cold sores, just so you know" before I kiss someone and they're like "OK." It's never been an issue. Well, not any more, because now I'm married so I no longer have to do any kind of sexual disclosures (or shave my legs if I don't want to).
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Aug 22, 2015 04:51
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Well, sure, most men will take whatever they can get, if I understand right, so of course nobody turned you down. But if I were a woman looking to hook up then I would just be like "welp, thanks for letting me know" and then I'd just move on to the next person, who isn't guaranteed to be infected. Thus, it's important for me to be careful, because potential partners will be very likely to turn me down if I catch it.
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Aug 22, 2015 05:11
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Most of those sexual partners were women, but I'm sure you have some equally dismissive mental gymnastics about queer women so that probably doesn't matter. Also, I'm curious to know how you acquired your immunity to whatever it is that makes men so sex-crazed that they will take "whatever they can get." I guess you're just that much more enlightened than the average man. It sounds like you've never been a woman looking to hook up, but I actually have, and it has never mattered to me if someone had cold sores, probably the most common and innocuous virus you can get from kissing someone. Aren't you the guy who was obsessed with banging 20-year-olds and made an E/N thread about it? Is this part of some kind of weird purity thing?
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Aug 22, 2015 05:23
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Actually I'm changing my answer; you should be 100% up front with anyone you want to have sex with about these concerns because although I wouldn't care if you had a cold sore, I for sure would want to know you had this very weird approach to sexual hygiene in order to make an informed decision about having sex with you.
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Aug 22, 2015 05:37
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EB Nulshit posted:Considering that 90% of people would not bang you if you've ever had a cold sore, I think it's reasonable. This is not true, otherwise 90% of the population wouldn't have sex with 90% of the population, and that math doesn't quite add up. You can set whatever rules or standards you want for sex, that is your right. Do whatever makes you comfortable.
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Aug 22, 2015 06:48
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EB Nulshit posted:Considering that 90% of people would not bang you if you've ever had a cold sore, I think it's reasonable. Also just be upfront with her. Ask like "hey, I'm sorry but I have a personal rule about either knowing for sure about STD status or using protection, so do you have test results on hand? If not I'll be using this dental dam." It'll be awkward but there's no way around that, it's just the nature of the beast
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Aug 22, 2015 07:36
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Nobody has physical test results in their nightstand. You don't even get printouts, they just call you and say "all good" or whatever. If you don't want to go down on someone who hasn't been tested, don't bother with dental dams imo, just use hands or a toy. If you look it up, prevalence in goon demographics especially is a lot lower than 80%. It's worth being aware of and it's reasonable not to want it. Anne Whateley fucked around with this message at 08:17 on Aug 22, 2015 |
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Aug 22, 2015 08:07
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i like nice words
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EB Nulshit posted:Thus, it's important for me to be careful, because potential partners will be very likely to turn me down if I catch it. EB Nulshit, expert on women, is certain they will all turn him down for sex if he catches the herp, but is somehow unsure if it's weird to ask about it. And then gets really loving hostile at people giving him the answer. Here's a clue: Most women don't care because, wait for it, most women already have it! I got my first cold sore when I was like 12 from touching my face all the time. It's a good thing no women are willing to sleep with me now. Use a dental dam because if you ask, she will probably just say no since most people don't have any idea.
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Aug 22, 2015 08:08
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Are we confusing oral and genital herpes again? You can get oral herpes in your genital region and genital herpes on your mouth, but almost everyone has oral herpes so practically no one cares about that. And as far as I know, herpes doesn't have a long term deadly risk attached like genital warts does (HPV/cancer). EB Nulshit, ask your partners if they've been tested but don't ask to see their papers, that's just weird. Trust is a big loving part of......loving, for both parties, and not trusting them will damage it. If you can't handle not knowing, then abstain from sex until you marry (and make sure you marry someone who is doing the same), or use a dental dam.
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Aug 22, 2015 13:07
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i dont see how that was hostile...Anne Whateley posted:You don't even get printouts, they just call you and say "all good" or whatever. That's kind of scary, given I read that most places that test you don't test for herpes unless you specifically ask for it. So basically, it seems like this would happen: Me: Are you clean? Her: Yeah! Me: Have you been tested recently? Her (best case): Yeah! Got the results back yesterday - they called and told me I'm all good*! Haven't slept with anyone else since before I took the test, either! * - They didn't test for herpes because she didn't know to ask for it. She didn't know they didn't test for it because they didn't give her a printout of which tests they performed. She has herpes and gives it to me. Am I understanding this incorrectly? It sounds like even if I try to be careful, I'm going to catch it.
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Aug 22, 2015 15:22
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EB Nulshit posted:i dont see how that was hostile... If you're that scared of getting HSV-1 you're better off just never leaving your house. Chances are you already have it even if you don't get cold sores. In fact, it's actually better to already have oral HSV-1 if you're mostly worried about sores on your junk, as it makes you virtually immune to contracting a genital HSV-1 infection. For HSV-2, if the person has no visible sores and also tells you they don't have it, your risk of contracting it is very low. If you think they're lying to you then you shouldn't be sleeping with that person anyway. Mechafunkzilla fucked around with this message at 15:34 on Aug 22, 2015 |
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Aug 22, 2015 15:30
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EB Nulshit posted:i dont see how that was hostile... It must depend on where you get your testing done, because a single positive/negative result was not what I got the last time I did it. I had a positive/negative result for each item tested.
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Aug 22, 2015 15:52
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Mechafunkzilla posted:If you think they're lying to you then you shouldn't be sleeping with that person anyway. This, basically.
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Aug 22, 2015 15:57
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EB Nulshit posted:i dont see how that was hostile... Two questions, and I'm not being cheeky: Have you ever been tested? It sounds like you don't know how it works, which is strange for someone insisting that of their partners. Are you a virgin? I'm not sure how you can know you don't have it unless you were checked recently. And yes, you will probably catch it at some point (assuming you don't already have it, which would be unusual). Edit: https://www.aad.org/dermatology-a-to-z/diseases-and-treatments/e---h/herpes-simplex/who-gets-causes quote:Most people get HSV-1 (herpes simplex type 1) as an infant or child. This virus can be spread by skin-to-skin contact with an adult who carries the virus. An adult does not have to have sores to spread the virus. KillHour fucked around with this message at 17:22 on Aug 22, 2015 |
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Aug 22, 2015 17:12
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KillHour posted:Have you ever been tested? It sounds like you don't know how it works, which is strange for someone insisting that of their partners. No. I tried to get tested in college and they turned me away because I was a virgin. I tried to get tested this morning and they told me they were only doing HIV testing and that I have to come back later in the week for everything else. And nope, not a virgin, but only slept with one person, twice, so absent any cold sores it seems unlikely that I've got it. Though the fact that tests supposedly have high false negative rates makes me nervous, because I'm basically interested in getting tested to prove I'm clean and so I can then stay away from everyone who says they've got it or hasn't been tested recently.
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Aug 22, 2015 17:32
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EB Nulshit posted:No. I tried to get tested in college and they turned me away because I was a virgin. I tried to get tested this morning and they told me they were only doing HIV testing and that I have to come back later in the week for everything else. Dude, I'm almost certain you have it. Most people get it as a child or a baby and some people never have symptoms. Even if you ask them to test for herpes, they will probably only test for HSV-2 because most people have HSV-1. You can get it from sleeping on someone else's pillow, for Christ's sake. Edit: I'm just going to stop replying to you because you obviously have some weird ideas about sexual health. Enjoy never getting laid again. Double edit: Make sure you don't kiss anyone, either. Or share a drink. Or a towel. In fact, just stay at home. You might catch it at the clinic while getting tested. Wouldn't that be embarrassing! KillHour fucked around with this message at 17:55 on Aug 22, 2015 |
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Aug 22, 2015 17:50
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cold sores are legit not a big deal and staying away from anyone who has them is going too far
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Aug 22, 2015 17:51
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HSV-1 is not an STD. Repeat, HSV-1 is not an STD. And gargling once a day with an antiseptic like Listerine will almost entirely eliminate the symptoms of this incredibly common non-STD, so no one cares. Repeat, no one cares about HSV-1.
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Aug 22, 2015 18:02
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Also many (most?) people who carry the virus are totally asymptomatic. I most certainly have it if not only because my mother gets cold sores regularly and I never had a sore in my life.
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Aug 22, 2015 19:51
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KillHour posted:Edit: I'm just going to stop replying to you because you obviously have some weird ideas about sexual health. Enjoy never getting laid again. This is a philosophy most of us in the NYC thread have adopted as well. His posts are both naive and super defensive and sometimes offensive as well. He's got weird ideas about pretty much everything and we're better off skipping over his posts because unless you 100% agree with him and tell him he's right, he ignores you and doubles down on the ridiculousness.
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Aug 22, 2015 20:53
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hoobajoo posted:HSV-1 is not an STD. Repeat, HSV-1 is not an STD. And gargling once a day with an antiseptic like Listerine will almost entirely eliminate the symptoms of this incredibly common non-STD, so no one cares. Repeat, no one cares about HSV-1.
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Aug 22, 2015 21:30
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Anne Whateley posted:HSV-1 isn't oral herpes anymore. You can get HSV-1 on your genitals from sexual contact, and I wouldn't recommend soaking your junk in listerine. Having HSV-1 orally protects you from getting it on your genitals. It can still happen, but it's less likely since your body has antibodies built up already.
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Aug 22, 2015 21:33
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Right, what I mean is if you have oral herpes (either type) and go down on your partner, they can get it on their junk.
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Aug 22, 2015 21:35
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Anne Whateley posted:Right, what I mean is if you have oral herpes (either type) and go down on your partner, they can get it on their junk. I kinda wonder if having oral HSV-2 (which is itself less likely to happen than genital HSV-1) makes contracting a genital HSV-2 infection less likely, or if it doesn't matter since it prefers living in the lumbar nerves anyway.
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Aug 22, 2015 22:52
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EB Nulshit posted:No. I tried to get tested in college and they turned me away because I was a virgin. I tried to get tested this morning and they told me they were only doing HIV testing and that I have to come back later in the week for everything else. Most people don't get cold sores from any kind of sexual activity, it's usually from stuff like your parents kissing you on the face or drinking out of the same glass or something. Most people are exposed to it in childhood (including you most likely). Not everyone who's infected gets the outbreaks. As for testing, I have never ever gotten any kind of hard copy results for an STI test. Basically the way it works (at the place I go to anyway) is "no news is good news." The only time they would notify me was if something was wrong so if I hear nothing then everything was normal.
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Aug 23, 2015 12:23
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KillHour posted:Having HSV-1 orally protects you from getting it on your genitals. It can still happen, but it's less likely since your body has antibodies built up already. This is possibly true of new infections, but remember that if you have a cold sore on your mouth, touch your mouth, then touch your genitals, you can give yourself a cold sore on your genitals. (Which in itself isn't really a big deal unless you're in active labour.) If you get cold sores, wash your hands after you touch your mouth when you have an active lesion.
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Aug 24, 2015 00:18
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mastajake posted:Are we confusing oral and genital herpes again? You can get oral herpes in your genital region and genital herpes on your mouth, but almost everyone has oral herpes so practically no one cares about that. And as far as I know, herpes doesn't have a long term deadly risk attached like genital warts does (HPV/cancer). Just want to clear up something in this post. herpes (HSV1 and HSV2) are not the same as genital warts which are caused by HPV. Also if you have the type of HPV that causes warts, it is not the same strains that cause cancer. Not that you couldn't be infected with more than one strain, but warts do not equal an increased cancer risk. Also >80% of women who are sexually active have contracted HPV at some point and their bodies have fought it off with no lasting effects. And like everyone else said, the majority of adults have been exposed to HSV1 when they were children. On top of that, approximately 1 in 6 adults have HSV2 according to the CDC.
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Aug 24, 2015 00:39
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The last time I got tested, my doctor just emailed me with "Congrats everything looks great ." The smiley face threw me off, but I am not a doctor.
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Aug 25, 2015 21:24
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Nur_Neerg posted:The last time I got tested, my doctor just emailed me with "Congrats everything looks great I look forward with great trepidation to the day when my doctor just sends a string of emojis in response to my latest blood test.
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Aug 25, 2015 21:29
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😷💉 🍆💦 🍑🍩🍑🍑🍑🍩🍑🍩🍑 😱💊💊 😵
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Aug 25, 2015 22:46
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Anne Whateley posted:😷💉 Sick. Something? More meds. Death.
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Aug 25, 2015 22:47
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