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corn in the bible posted:Please explain in detail your preferred jacking off position Well, first I put on this video and then...  (Considering that this is the internet, I'm not actually sure that this is stdh)
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Aug 26, 2015 22:27
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Vulpes posted:Are you sure it was a pigeon and not a grey balloon? I'm 5'11" and 160 lbs. I was probably about that then too. Do you live in a terrorscape populated by sentient rock pigeons? Has all avian life on your planet been replaced by super-dense simulacra? Why do you think it would take a lot of weight or pressure to crush an animal with hollow bones whose only defense is that it is small and light enough to fly? Have you ever actually touched another living thing, or is everything to you an endless chain of internet images whose pixels you inspect one by one to see if it is full of lies? Why is this mundane story such a conspiracy theory? It neither improves my standing nor brings me profit. The only pseudo-proof I could find in a bemused 5 minutes of searching was a tweet I made I 2011 that said "almost stepped on another pigeon" because of course I told me friends, it's insane. But what if the Great Pigeon Hoax is a long con I've been working on for half a decade? What if I was caught days before I released my limited-edition PEGON SMUSH stomping boots that weigh 400 goddamn pounds because everyone knows that pigeons are really just neutron stars with feathers on? I understand that skepticism is a healthy thing, especially on the largely anonymous and unsourced internet, but you all are bonkers.
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Aug 26, 2015 22:35
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System Metternich posted:Well, first I put on this video and then... Don't doxx me foo
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Aug 26, 2015 22:35
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The Aphasian posted:I'm 5'11" and 160 lbs. I was probably about that then too. This is like watching an imgur post get called out and the op editing it fifteen times. edit: it did happen. Edit2: no really it did edit3: I dont care if you believe me it happened.
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Aug 26, 2015 22:45
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 Is his friend a four year old? edit: Oh. Apparently he was. Hmm, this is awkward.
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Aug 26, 2015 23:35
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The Aphasian posted:I'm 5'11" and 160 lbs. I was probably about that then too. Whether any of this pigeon stomping poo poo actually happened, this has to be one of the most  things on this forum ever
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Aug 26, 2015 23:42
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kazil posted:Whether any of this pigeon stomping poo poo actually happened, this has to be one of the most Hey, the man lusts for pigeon death 
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Aug 26, 2015 23:55
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Verisimilidude posted:
In my college level human bio class we were discussing how meat is muscle (specifically the difference between fast and slow twitch muscle fibers and light and dark meat) and a lady in her late 30s said "I actually didnt know that meat was muscle. I'm kind of grossed out right now." some people legit dont know things.
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Aug 27, 2015 00:03
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Just saying, most people have the ability to stop stepping and pull their foot back up if you feel you're about to accidentally crush an entire animals. And again, pigeons are big, it's like accidentally stepping on a rabbit
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Aug 27, 2015 01:11
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Xen Tricks posted:Just saying, most people have the ability to stop stepping and pull their foot back up if you feel you're about to accidentally crush an entire animals. And again, pigeons are big, it's like accidentally stepping on a rabbit dont worry it didnt really happen
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Aug 27, 2015 01:14
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A guy in my college kicked a squirrel through the air because it ran across the path before him and landed on his foot as he was lifting it to take the next step. He did not see it approach because he was carrying a large box Aphasian, it's going to be okay
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Aug 27, 2015 01:37
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Like all proper Irish children I was sent to a Catholic school. One day in 6th class (the last year of primary school) the Ard Mháistir sent all the girls out to another class with one of the senior female teachers. All the lads and him watched some tapes about sex and he told us there'd be no questions, the girls learned about tampons and rockets or something. No homework that day, it was great. content: 
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Aug 27, 2015 02:25
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^^^ Grr beatenWizard of Smart posted:In my college level human bio class we were discussing how meat is muscle (specifically the difference between fast and slow twitch muscle fibers and light and dark meat) and a lady in her late 30s said "I actually didnt know that meat was muscle. I'm kind of grossed out right now." Not knowing that meat from animals is muscle is a whole other level than not realizing meat comes from animals in the first place.
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Aug 27, 2015 02:29
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One time I was babysitting a 9 month old and I went into the kitchen and came out and wasn't watching what I was doing and i stepped on the baby but by the time I realized I was stepping on the baby it was already too late. I'm sorry baby 
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Aug 27, 2015 02:52
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oldpainless posted:One time I was babysitting a 9 month old and I went into the kitchen and came out and wasn't watching what I was doing and i stepped on the baby but by the time I realized I was stepping on the baby it was already too late. Did it pop like a rancid pumpkin or crunch like a bag of peanuts?
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Aug 27, 2015 03:19
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First one then the other
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Aug 27, 2015 03:21
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ElGroucho posted:It puts pressure on some weird nerve or tube in your perineum, and then you get that feeling that you need to pee but you already did, but you still need to pee, oh god what is wrong with my body Holy poo poo.
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Aug 27, 2015 03:46
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ElGroucho posted:It puts pressure on some weird nerve or tube in your perineum, and then you get that feeling that you need to pee but you already did, but you still need to pee, oh god what is wrong with my body hosed up if true.... y'know, i suppose if people stopped buying the housemade ketchup, then they'd have to stop making it. Really makes you think...
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Aug 27, 2015 17:21
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And you thought Whovians were bad...quote:An Off-The-Wall Purchase
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Aug 28, 2015 09:41
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God drat it, I actually really like Pink Floyd and am enraged by that stupid story. I refuse to believe Floydian is in common usage. And how would someone manage to listen to someone yammer on all the time about how great a specific concert was and never catch the name of the band anyway?  
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Aug 28, 2015 10:33
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Yeah it totally takes "a musician, avid fan and walking encyclopedia" to spot that The Wall is by Pink Floyd, and not just a regular bookstore employee.
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Aug 28, 2015 12:03
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And of course god forbid someone be a fan of more than one band at a time: just imagine the chaos that would ensure if someone liked both Pink floyd and The Who! Nevermind the possibility that the friend could have misremembered the conversation and in fact the fan had gone to a Grateful Dead concert. What a stupid pointless thing to make up.
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Aug 28, 2015 12:18
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Also the last time there was a The Wall concert in America it was in 2012, where it was performed by Roger Walters. Unless you go back to 1980 when it was last performed by the actual band. That Rolling Stone edition does exist, but that came out in 2013 so yeah it's a ludicrous story. Floydian is an actual term that goes back a fair bit, but it isn't not akin to "whovian" it's simply a term that's been used to describe music that's like Pink Floyd. Even a casual google of "I'm a floydian" doesn't bring up anything, no one really uses that term to describe themselves as a fan - or if they do it appears to be a recent adaption of the term.
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Aug 28, 2015 12:47
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What is it about Dr Who fans that make them write these smug "I'm in the club" bullshit? I mean I'm a fan of _______ and I don't define my line around it so I dunno.
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Aug 28, 2015 13:13
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fallingdownjoe posted:Nevermind the possibility that the friend could have misremembered the conversation and in fact the fan had gone to a Grateful Dead concert. Nevermind is actually an album by Nirvana. Good job I'm a walking encyclopedia of.musical facts and know this obscure little tidbit.
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Aug 28, 2015 13:22
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In The Bushes posted:Nevermind is actually an album by Nirvana. Good job I'm a walking encyclopedia of.musical facts and know this obscure little tidbit. Wow, I'm so glad, my dear, that you were here! *Gentlemanly bow* Who the gently caress writes like this
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Aug 28, 2015 13:31
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ElGroucho posted:Who the gently caress writes like this People who make poo poo up for attention on the Internet I think the most cringeworthy ones for me are "without missing a beat, I..." and "proceeded to," like in the sentence "Whenever I read those phrases in an STDH story, without missing a beat I proceed to projectile vomit all over the room"
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Aug 28, 2015 14:25
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No miners
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Aug 28, 2015 14:39
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And then the chairman was fired for blatant sexual discrimination in the workplace
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Aug 28, 2015 14:44
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Boris Galerkin posted:I mean I'm a fan of _______ and I don't define my line around it so I dunno. I don't know man, seems to me like you kinda do.
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Aug 28, 2015 14:44
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WebDog posted:Also the last time there was a The Wall concert in America it was in 2012, where it was performed by Roger Walters. Unless you go back to 1980 when it was last performed by the actual band. That Rolling Stone edition does exist, but that came out in 2013 so yeah it's a ludicrous story. Um, I think you'll find that it's "Rolling Stones" magazine. I'll forgive your slip-up this time, because clearly you're not a walking encyclopedia like me and my friend in the story there. Hoover Dam posted:No miners God drat that was obnoxious.
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Aug 28, 2015 14:46
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Hoover Dam posted:No miners Fat women are always the most upset about pretty women wearing nice things
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Aug 28, 2015 14:50
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Hoover Dam posted:No miners And that chairman? his name was Mao.
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Aug 28, 2015 15:16
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Remember, ladies, your bodies are exclusively at the disposal of your family and church so they can pass them off to the highest bidder.
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Aug 28, 2015 15:26
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Pearl mining's gotta be a pretty hard job, the overhead for canaries alone has got to be staggering
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Aug 28, 2015 15:27
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Hoover Dam posted:No miners Amazing, there is so much that is lovely and wrong about this metaphor. Also I like how everything that God likes in this world is diamonds, pearls and precious metals. I'm not sure he knows his god well ? Unless it's the god of capitalism or sth.
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Aug 28, 2015 16:19
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My Lovely Horse posted:Pearl mining's gotta be a pretty hard job, the overhead for canaries alone has got to be staggering goddam
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Aug 28, 2015 16:22
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Boris Galerkin posted:What is it about Dr Who fans that make them write these smug "I'm in the club" bullshit? I mean I'm a fan of _______ and I don't define my line around it so I dunno.
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Aug 28, 2015 16:31
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"i like walking behind the store at night so i can get the initiative if necessary" Must've failed his defense roll that night. Splicer posted:You're a madlibian too? You heard that the Mad Libs creator died this year right? He was 89 poops old.
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Aug 28, 2015 16:47
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canyoneer posted:"i like walking behind the store at night so i can get the initiative if necessary" You need to buy up agility for the initiative bonus. Just sayin'. <childish laugh> 89 poops old! My inner 8th grader salutes you.
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Aug 28, 2015 16:49
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