quote:

A Sprinkle Of Stupidity
Pizza | Salem, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a pizza place that often allows customers to switch out ingredients, as long as they are not adding any extra.)

Customer: “I want the all meat with no sausage, add bacon, and add green pepper.”

Me: “Great, sir. We can take the sausage off, but unfortunately I can only add one other ingredient. You’ll have to choose which one you’d like.”

Customer: “What if I add bacon but only get a spritz of green pepper?”

Me: “You’d still be getting one too many.”

Customer: “What about a dash?”

Me: “Sir, the manner in which we apply the ingredient won’t make any difference.”

PUGGERNAUT posted:

Comment on an NPR article about Carly Rae Jepsen and guilty pleasures:

Hoover Dam posted:

No miners

queserasera posted:

So women are an industrial commodity whose value has been artifically inflated for generations by international cartels? Sounds about right.

(And getting them uncovered involves years of painstaking removal or a quick bit of detonation with long-lasting environmental havoc. Yep, sounds about right.)

Drunk Tomato posted:

What? Did this band perform Folsom prison blues as a rap? Why does this guy think the story makes any sense.

Also if he's saying Johnny Cash is harder than any rappers, than... I don't know.

Crow Jane posted:

To be fair, some old country and folk stuff is brutal. I read somewhere that rappers in the nineties would include bits of "Knoxville
Girl" in mixtapes as a way of saying "hey look, horrifically violent music has been around forever, don't get your panties in a twist". Murder ballads own.

EmmyOk posted:

Stagger Lee

Hoover Dam posted:

No miners

EmmyOk posted:

I like putting it on as the last song at a house party when everyone is far too drunk and miming the filthy bass line. I like Henry Lee and Wild Roses a lot too. Let Love In and Murder Ballads are two perfect albums.

Crow Jane posted:

Here's a b-side from the Murder Ballads era to throw into the mix. It's one of my favorites, if you don't have the b-sides comp I strongly, strongly recommend it.

PUGGERNAUT posted:

Comment on an NPR article about Carly Rae Jepsen and guilty pleasures:

Crow Jane posted:

Here's a b-side from the Murder Ballads era to throw into the mix. It's one of my favorites, if you don't have the b-sides comp I strongly, strongly recommend it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrjmcyaBYoY

kizudarake posted:

If you have Amazon prime, The Boatman's call, The Firstborn is dead, the remaster of From Her to Eternity, The Good Son, Henry's Dream, Let Love In, Murder Ballads, No More Shall We Part, Tender Prey, and Your Funeral...My Trial, along with a few other scattered songs, are all available for download/streaming through the Amazon Music app. It's all pre-2000 albums, but I like those the best.

Tunicate posted:

Next on Crazy Customer Requests: trying to add a topping to a pizza.

ElGroucho posted:

LOL

Nobody cares about your DadRock band, dad

Tunicate posted:

Next on Crazy Customer Requests: trying to add a topping to a pizza.

EZipperelli posted:

Last I checked, bacon is a topping that always comes on a pizza that's "all the meats" or "meat lovers" or whatever. This story makes no god drat sense.

kizudarake posted:

If you have Amazon prime, The Boatman's call, The Firstborn is dead, the remaster of From Her to Eternity, The Good Son, Henry's Dream, Let Love In, Murder Ballads, No More Shall We Part, Tender Prey, and Your Funeral...My Trial, along with a few other scattered songs, are all available for download/streaming through the Amazon Music app. It's all pre-2000 albums, but I like those the best.

Khazar-khum posted:

Here's a goldmine of murder ballads:

http://www.murderbygaslight.com/

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Also Nick Cave is the best and one of the three examples I first think of when trying to justify that Australia has some artistic output worth mentioning (the other two examples are TISM and Mad Max). My godmother introduced me to his music and Terry Pratchett as a troubled youth. She was great.

Tetracube posted:

I can't even tell if this is supposed to be parody or not

sweeperbravo posted:

I hope it was real and that you could hear the man using symbols and numericals out loud.

Tetracube posted:

I can't even tell if this is supposed to be parody or not

Postal Parcel posted:

He spelled it out like YMCA


This has probably been asked/answered before, but would/do MRAs hate gay guys? I mean, they're avoiding the worst part of human existence in general, women.

Postal Parcel posted:

He spelled it out like YMCA


This has probably been asked/answered before, but would/do MRAs hate gay guys? I mean, they're avoiding the worst part of human existence in general, women.

Tetracube posted:

I can't even tell if this is supposed to be parody or not

sweeperbravo posted:

It depends. Some may feel paranoid, like gays are gonna get them and make them gay/are contributing to the "pussification" of society by being effeminate. That has more to do with traditional gender roles than actual sexuality though. Alternatively there's probably some that are so far down the rabbit hole, they believe uptight bitches are the reason why men BECOME gay in the first place.

PUGGERNAUT posted:

Comment on an NPR article about Carly Rae Jepsen and guilty pleasures:

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Also Nick Cave is the best and one of the three examples I first think of when trying to justify that Australia has some artistic output worth mentioning (the other two examples are TISM and Mad Max). My godmother introduced me to his music and Terry Pratchett as a troubled youth. She was great.

snergle posted:

My favorite cave song is red right hand i love the wierd nick cage esq dance he does in the video but the ballad of robert moore and betty coltrane is a close second. although can austrailia count him when he did most of his work in germany or britain?

quote:

For the past 6 months, my best friend has maintained an Excel doc on his laptop to keep track of every time he masturbated. He did this at the insistence of his girlfriend.

When he confided this to me I couldn't believe it. But apparently 7 months prior she had caught him masturbating in his kitchen (which is weird I know) and got very angry and disturbed. She insisted that he keep a log of every time he masturbated.

So for 6 months he's had an Excel doc listing every time he masturbates. It had the following columns: Date, Time, Location, What I Masturbated To (if online pornography, he had to include a hyperlink to the video), and Notes.

So the other day my friend left his laptop open. He left, went out to get beer. I saw the Excel logo on the bottom of his screen and I wondered if it was his legendary Masturbation Log. It was. I had to peek!

Then I go the idea to prank him. I knew his girlfriend reviewed the log at the end of every week. So I scrolled up a bit to make some edits to his entries from a few days ago, to make it look like he masturbated to some weird rear end poo poo.

Here are a few of the entries I inserted:
What I Masturbated To: Your friend Ashley's facebook album of her at that beach in Mexico. (Included a URL for the album.)
Notes: She's very sexy. I imagine her often when we make love.

What I Masturbated To: Youtube video of a mouse caught in a glue trap. (Included url to vid)
Notes: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

What I Masturbated To: Imagined what it would be like to have sex with a pig in a factory farm.
Notes: First time fantasizing about beastiality, I am into it.

What I Masturbated To: (Just a link to a gay porn video, something with "Cock" in the title)
Notes: Very nice.

And a few more things like that. Saved the doc.

So I thought it was a pretty funny prank. Well...turns out he never noticed the entries, she saw them, and she 100% thought that he entered them. Apparently she absolutely refused to believe somebody pranked him and she was completely disgusted. Crying and shouting, I hear. She thinks he's a complete pervo.

She broke up with him.

My friend is furious. But he has no idea it was me who did it. He constantly leaves his laptop open, he has a lot of people over, the entries were from earlier in the week.

I don't think he suspects me. But he's really angry and also down in the dumps about it. His now ex-girlfriend told her friends about his "sick fetishes" and obviously the rumors are starting to spread.
I want to admit it was a prank, but I won't. I feel so awful.

I am thinking of sending an anonymous email to her telling her it was a prank, but not revealing my identity.

ibntumart posted:

Drunk Tomato posted:

Right, because that makes sense. Girlfriend is mad at boyfriend for maturating, so instead of sitting down and having a conversation about sexuality, she forces him to log in detail every single time he jerks it. And he agrees / doesn't falsify the log because ?????

flosofl posted:

God drat, the Reddit comments on this depress me. I want to think there's some kind of meta-irony going on in there... But it's Reddit, so most of them are probably True Believers.

Drunk Tomato posted:

Right, because that makes sense. Girlfriend is mad at boyfriend for maturating, so instead of sitting down and having a conversation about sexuality, she forces him to log in detail every single time he jerks it. And he agrees / doesn't falsify the log because ?????