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Kaizoku posted:I'll still take them over the people who define themselves around the fact that they deeply deeply love children. pedophiles are bad, yes
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Aug 31, 2015 19:06
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Kaizoku posted:I'll still take them over the people who define themselves around the fact that they deeply deeply love children. I love children. But I can never eat a whole one.
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Aug 31, 2015 19:19
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Thank you both for not mocking my juvenile pun.
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Aug 31, 2015 19:24
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Remain neutral towards children in all things
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Aug 31, 2015 20:37
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Zelder posted:Remain neutral towards children in all things "I just tolerate you so much, honey!"
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Aug 31, 2015 20:43
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Jonathan Yeah! posted:"I just tolerate you so much, honey!" "I am so ambivalent of you, sweetheart."
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Aug 31, 2015 20:56
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More poo poo Made Up by Jezebel's Readers: Customer Service Revenge Fantasy Edition These are all so hilariously bad and many are outright crimes (or at least would subject one to civil liability). VVVV I'm assuming you mean both as a customer and an employee, correct? Brother Tadger has a new favorite as of 21:41 on Aug 31, 2015 |
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Aug 31, 2015 20:57
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1redflag posted:More poo poo Made Up by Jezebel's Readers: Customer Service Revenge Fantasy Edition Women are pretty much the worst people to deal with in the customer service industry, hth
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Aug 31, 2015 21:38
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1redflag posted:More poo poo Made Up by Jezebel's Readers: Customer Service Revenge Fantasy Edition The first goddamn sentence is someone claiming to have 3 years experience as a server at age 15.
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Aug 31, 2015 22:12
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Dienes posted:The first goddamn sentence is someone claiming to have 3 years experience as a server at age 15. Okay, this is actually somewhat believable if you've ever been to a REALLY small town with a local family-owned restaurant. I was in bum-gently caress Oregon (I think the town was called "White City") this summer and our server (who was being "trained" by the two grandma's who ran the restaurant) was literally 10 years old. But yea, it only goes downhill from there.
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Aug 31, 2015 22:27
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Samizdata posted:I love children. BOOOOOOOOOO
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Aug 31, 2015 22:33
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Aug 31, 2015 22:35
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give that child a 1 way ticket to a space station
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Aug 31, 2015 23:23
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the above posted:To this day, I consider it a miracle that this vile woman was the only customer we had during this whole ordeal, because what happened next was not one of my finest moments; I went from zero to Xenomorph in two seconds flat. After one last attempt to apologize and offer her anything but a taco, poo poo got real. “SHUT THE loving WINDOW, YOU loving oval office,” she screamed at me while taking off her seat-belt. “SHUT THE loving WINDOW SO I CAN BREAK IT, PULL YOUR loving HEAD THROUGH AND DECAPITATE YOU! I WANT MY drat TACOS!” I took that as a threat, and my head went through the window, sure, but so did nearly my entire body. I just remember lunging and grabbing a hold of the outside wall. I know I was yelling terrible things at her, and she was yelling back. That drunk bitch threatened to take my life over tacos, and I was mad as all hell. I’m pretty sure I broke the headset. I don’t know for how long I was attempting to claw my way out of the drive-thru window; I’m sure it seemed a lot longer than it really was. All I remember apart from the yelling was my Shift Leader grabbing my ankles and my former BFF grabbing my hips. They pulled me back through the window, and I was ushered to the back-room break area by the drive-thru girl, sat down on one of the crappy old chairs, and told to take a breather. I could still hear the drunken taco lady screaming. I can't parse this. The outside wall? My hips and ankles?? How far out the window did this guy go?
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Aug 31, 2015 23:32
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Woah now there is no way her daughter could ever be smarter than her. She is so smart!! She even liked I loving love science on Facebook.
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Aug 31, 2015 23:39
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eating only apples posted:I can't parse this. The outside wall? My hips and ankles?? How far out the window did this guy go? Probably the entirety of their upper body, the two were able to grab the ankles since they were above the ground and hips because they were still in the window. They're pulling themselves out with the wall, not trying to get back in with it. Or, real answer: No part of them left the building because no part of them was ever working inside of it.
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Aug 31, 2015 23:40
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ElGroucho posted:Women are pretty much the worst people to deal with in the customer service industry, hth Look at this fool who's never had to deal with a middle aged white dude rocking the polo shirt/visor/bluetooth combo
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Sep 1, 2015 00:47
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PUGGERNAUT posted:Look at this fool who's never had to deal with a middle aged white dude rocking the polo shirt/visor/bluetooth combo gently caress that guy forever.
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Sep 1, 2015 00:58
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PUGGERNAUT posted:Look at this fool who's never had to deal with a middle aged white dude rocking the polo shirt/visor/bluetooth combo It's especially good if he has his son with him. Learning the ropes, you see.
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Sep 1, 2015 01:13
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I made this same joke at work the other day, except it took maybe two short sentences. My manager laughed, told the other manager the joke, then we all forgot about it because we are functional normal people. I didn't even bother to call my sister.
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Sep 1, 2015 02:28
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Flighty.quote:A Runway Runaway
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Sep 1, 2015 08:48
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Khazar-khum posted:Flighty. I've read all pilot's lines in a soothing pilot voice. Even then it wasn't particularly funny or interesting.
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Sep 1, 2015 11:58
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Supposedly working on an airport and can't even spell "hangar". smh.
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Sep 1, 2015 14:08
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Khazar-khum posted:Pilot: “NO! I SEE NOTHING. The pilot is Schultz from Hogan's Heroes
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Sep 1, 2015 15:19
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Khazar-khum posted:Flighty. Why do STDH stories always leave out proper nouns? "A small airport in Louisburg" - good thing he didn't say which small airport in Louisburg.
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Sep 1, 2015 17:03
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York_M_Chan posted:Why do STDH stories always leave out proper nouns? "A small airport in Louisburg" - good thing he didn't say which small airport in Louisburg. Or where Louisburg even is.
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Sep 1, 2015 18:27
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York_M_Chan posted:Why do STDH stories always leave out proper nouns? "A small airport in Louisburg" - good thing he didn't say which small airport in Louisburg. I was legit surprised they didn't say "a [small airport] in [small town]."
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Sep 1, 2015 18:28
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York_M_Chan posted:Why do STDH stories always leave out proper nouns? "A small airport in Louisburg" - good thing he didn't say which small airport in Louisburg. Well they don't want to be doxxed, otherwise
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Sep 1, 2015 18:50
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York_M_Chan posted:Why do STDH stories always leave out proper nouns? "A small airport in Louisburg" - good thing he didn't say which small airport in Louisburg. They think it lends them credence. It makes it seem like they're blanking the name out to protect their/the protagonist's identity, lest the story's villain come across the story. Kind of like when people complain about their workplace but avoid coming out and saying where they work for fear of litigation issues, except it's dumber and also stupid.
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Sep 1, 2015 18:56
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Is there ever an NAR/Jezebel story where the narrator implies, without irony, that they're the dipshit causing trouble?
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Sep 1, 2015 19:50
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Noyemi K posted:Is there ever an NAR/Jezebel story where the narrator implies, without irony, that they're the dipshit causing trouble? Depends, would it still count if they try to paint themselves in the most sympathetic light possible?
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Sep 1, 2015 20:05
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MizPiz posted:Depends, would it still count if they try to paint themselves in the most sympathetic light possible? No, it does not count unless they recognize fully, without sugarcoating, that they are the idiot causing the problem in the story.
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Sep 1, 2015 20:10
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1redflag posted:More poo poo Made Up by Jezebel's Readers: Customer Service Revenge Fantasy Edition With the first story, the detail that bothers me the most is the girl doesn't know what a butcher knife is and says that her mom stabs it into her chopping block.
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Sep 1, 2015 20:25
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That's a good way to ruin a chopping block, cutting board, butcher knife (or a chef knife), but more importantly, why would she need butchery tools at a lunch restaurant?
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Sep 1, 2015 20:28
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Noyemi K posted:That's a good way to ruin a chopping block, cutting board, butcher knife (or a chef knife), but more importantly, why would she need butchery tools at a lunch restaurant?
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Sep 1, 2015 21:54
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Leon Einstein posted:Do you really think a butcher knife in a restaurant kitchen is odd?
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Sep 1, 2015 22:02
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I think she means one of those Chinese style meat cleavers, and instead of stab, means her mom slammed it down so it lodged in the cutting board? Still stupid though.
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Sep 2, 2015 00:44
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hallo spacedog posted:I think she means one of those Chinese style meat cleavers, and instead of stab, means her mom slammed it down so it lodged in the cutting board? Still stupid though. Oh, you mean like an angry chef from a movie! Of course, everyone does that.
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Sep 2, 2015 04:07
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Sep 2, 2015 06:44
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Noyemi K posted:Is there ever an NAR/Jezebel story where the narrator implies, without irony, that they're the dipshit causing trouble? "Excuse me, madam, but would you awfully mind fetching me the cereal brand I desire from the back room?" I asked. "BLARGH!" replied the human porkchop. "NO CAN'T!! GOTTA SEND IT BACK CAUSE METAL IN BOXES!! FLIERP!!" they shot back, fatly. "Now, now." I chuckled reasonably. "If you don't want to retrieve it for me, I'd be happy to go collect it myself." And I started for the employee area, smiling kindly and applying a modicum of pressure to her shoulder, sending her careening violently into a pyramid of soup cans. "Oops." I tittered.
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Sep 2, 2015 06:57
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