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Did you just rate your own girlfriend? That's hosed up man.
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Sep 6, 2015 23:04
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| # ? Jun 4, 2024 18:56 |
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Holy poo poo £1300 for a fuckin dog I'd probably pay the admission for that ride though
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Sep 6, 2015 23:09
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:Thank gently caress I'm not too pasty, the fine German blood donated by my mother has allowed me to escape being a luminous walking blob of skin cancer. The filthy fenian, mick sludge off my father has resulted in me being built to swing club hammers and pickaxes whilst being fed on potatoes and dirt and domestic violence. i got that and the polish intelligence to not know any better
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Sep 6, 2015 23:12
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Whip Slagcheek posted:Did you just rate your own girlfriend? That's hosed up man. My wife is a solid 7/10 but her rear end is like a 9 so that brings her up close to 8 I guess 
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Sep 6, 2015 23:49
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Hey Whip, it's not the mother of my children, if I want to apply an arbitrary value to every part of her and post it on an online forum I drat well will. Arsehole 8/10, older sister 4/10, chances of putting a ring on it 3/10
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Sep 6, 2015 23:55
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:Arsehole 8/10, older sister 4/10, chances of putting a ring on it 3/10 lol Also you just paid 1300 funny money dollars for a dog, so I feel like 3/10 is downplaying it a bit. Unless you're an idiot of some type.
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Sep 7, 2015 00:19
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Two police officers shot at while sitting at a traffic light in Las Vegas. One wounded (non-life threatening) and the other is unharmed. Suspect apprehended. Second Las Vegas police officer shot in three days. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/09/06/police-officer-shot-in-ambush-style-attack-expected-to-survive/
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Sep 7, 2015 00:26
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Whip is just jealous cause all he can pull is divorced single mothers with stretch marks and c section scars
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Sep 7, 2015 00:26
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Whip Slagcheek posted:lol Bernard's family has money bro, dude doesn't really work and pretends to be a cop a few nights a month just for kicks. If I could throw away money carefree on house trained rodents and pussy I'd be all over that too.
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Sep 7, 2015 00:27
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Whip Slagcheek posted:lol £1300 is a small price to pay for quality skirt. Think about it, a decent girl (not some jawless barfly that has had so many caesarians that she looks like a shark attack survivor and tits like a snooker ball in a tube sock) won't usually put out for 5-6 dates, in London a date costs £1-200 anyway and you've spent another £500 making her feel 'special' by the time they are willing to give you the keys to the A-hole/ Swallowing after an asparagus dinner. For the price of that tiny dog, she now feels that I've made a commitment. I get to smash the granny off it without stupid passive aggressive questions about "living arrangement"/ "where do I see 'us' in a year"/ "why do you always seem to suffer from a serious injury every time I want you to come to dinner with my family" for a few more months. It's the 'child lite' option without getting signed in to a long term contract. It's grade 'A' snatch and that £1300 is a lot cheaper than an engagement ring or finding a replacement. Would I have rather bought an English bull terrier or Monitor lizard? Yes. But I'd rather not go back to wanking to Brazzers.
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Sep 7, 2015 00:52
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:£1300 is a small price to pay for quality skirt. Think about it, a decent girl (not some jawless barfly that has had so many caesarians that she looks like a shark attack survivor and tits like a snooker ball in a tube sock) won't usually put out for 5-6 dates, in London a date costs £1-200 anyway and you've spent another £500 making her feel 'special' by the time they are willing to give you the keys to the A-hole/ Swallowing after an asparagus dinner. Someone put this in the next edition of the cop lounge please. Thanks.
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Sep 7, 2015 00:54
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Bernard is truly the best among us. Give that man a gun and honorary american citizenship.
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Sep 7, 2015 00:58
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Do you plan on keeping/eating the dog once this chick moves on to her next patsy?
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Sep 7, 2015 00:59
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Bernard has already said he never wants a gun. God drat hippy liberal.
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Sep 7, 2015 00:59
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Ahem,
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Sep 7, 2015 01:02
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WHOA WHOA WHOA. DOGGE ABUSE
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Sep 7, 2015 01:05
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kinda mad you left the nipples out.
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Sep 7, 2015 01:05
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Branis posted:kinda mad you left the nipples out. His or his girlfriend's
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Sep 7, 2015 01:06
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Whip Slagcheek posted:His or his girlfriend's WhyNotBoth.gif
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Sep 7, 2015 01:12
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Wow, some of you are never happy. I'm not re-cropping the photo just so you panty sniffers can look at my teat.
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Sep 7, 2015 01:17
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:Wow, some of you are never happy. I'm not re-cropping the photo just so you panty sniffers can look at my teat. Actually I want to see your girlfriend's tits. Not yours.
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Sep 7, 2015 01:19
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:Wow, some of you are never happy. I'm not re-cropping the photo just so you panty sniffers can look at my teat. / 
beanieson fucked around with this message at 01:23 on Sep 7, 2015 |
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Sep 7, 2015 01:21
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Whip Slagcheek posted:Actually I want to see your girlfriend's tits. Not yours. I just asked her what would happen if i posted some tasteful pictures of her topless on something awful, (obviously I'm not going to do it because I'll end up as some boogie man to the autistic cancers in D&D and the idea of you lot whacking off to images of my pretty, delicate girlfriend is making me gag) and she asked what something awful was. I told her and she just looked at me. Then she asked the puppy why her daddy couldn't be normal and talk to real people. She asked a DOG why I don't talk to 'real people' Maybe I shouldn't have bought this dog.
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Sep 7, 2015 01:26
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I like that she asked what SA was rather than just flatly rejecting the idea.
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Sep 7, 2015 01:28
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It was going to be a no either way. On my birthday I was allowed to use a go-pro and head mount to make a recording but that SD card got loving locked up tighter than a black man in Alabama.
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Sep 7, 2015 01:33
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^^^^^ lmfboBernard McFacknutah posted:£1300 is a small price to pay for quality skirt. Think about it, a decent girl (not some jawless barfly that has had so many caesarians that she looks like a shark attack survivor and tits like a snooker ball in a tube sock) won't usually put out for 5-6 dates, in London a date costs £1-200 anyway and you've spent another £500 making her feel 'special' by the time they are willing to give you the keys to the A-hole/ Swallowing after an asparagus dinner. they sent a poet 
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Sep 7, 2015 01:35
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Gonna need a selfie of you in said gopro helmet tia
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Sep 7, 2015 01:53
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im gonna blame this one on smiling jack
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Sep 7, 2015 01:56
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:im gonna blame this one on smiling jack That's some nice shooting. Give them credit, those 83 misses also missed bystanders. Rad, I shall take one later this week. Right now I'm busy trying to watch cloverfield on my iPad in bed while I should be pipe laying but I'm getting monumentally cock blocked by the puppy. Also why is she now staying at mine on a Sunday when the risk of the furry bastard pissing/making GBS threads on my bed is severe to extreme? She never usually stays on a Sunday. If I wake up and the Egyptian cotton sheets look like a tramps gusset I may have to re-consider my recent life choices.
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Sep 7, 2015 02:05
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yeah its a guarantee that puppy is gonna piss and poo poo over everything you own for at least a year.
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Sep 7, 2015 02:11
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Branis posted:yeah its a guarantee that puppy is gonna piss and poo poo over everything you own for at least a year. Don't forget tear up every pair of shoes and piece of furniture you own.
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Sep 7, 2015 02:12
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Branis posted:yeah its a guarantee that puppy is gonna piss and poo poo over everything you own for at least a year. Whip Slagcheek posted:Don't forget tear up every pair of shoes and piece of furniture you own. gently caress. gently caress. Why didn't I consider this. How do I get out of this situation? I'm considering faking an allergy
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Sep 7, 2015 02:15
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Break up with her. I'll help you out by buying her a plane ticket to DC. And then Louisiana. And then NY. And then (???) Dakota. And then Missouri, I guess.
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Sep 7, 2015 02:17
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:How do I get out of this situation? p sure you answered your own question earlier:
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Sep 7, 2015 02:21
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puppies actually require you to teach them things. Thats why you get an old shelter dog and tell everybody you rescued it.
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Sep 7, 2015 03:06
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every chihuahua ive ever seen was a total rear end in a top hat. godspeed
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Sep 7, 2015 03:24
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Branis posted:puppies actually require you to teach them things. Thats why you get an old shelter dog and tell everybody you rescued it. Na, this irks me. It's cool to get a shelter dog, but just call it what it is, a free dog. Unless you repelled from a helicopter you didn't rescue poo poo.
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Sep 7, 2015 03:40
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Uh. Shelter dogs aren't usually free brah. At least not here in DC, the rescues and shelters usually charge like $300 to cover their immunizations, worms, etc.
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Sep 7, 2015 03:43
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$300??? I paid like 60 when I got my old dog( ) about 10 years ago.
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Sep 7, 2015 03:45
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| # ? Jun 4, 2024 18:56 |
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Roscoe was like $400 from the rescue we got him from
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Sep 7, 2015 03:47
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