canyoneer posted:

Once I called my ISP all smarmy because my internet wasn't working after moving my PC (why should that matter?!).

The guy told me to unplug my ethernet cable and switch ends. I knew enough to know that wouldn't work, but I did it anyway and it worked. He was kind enough to tell me that the reason why it worked was because although I had told him that, yes, duh, of course my ethernet cable was plugged in, my ethernet cable was not fully plugged into one or more ends.

quote:

A Very Testing Prank
HIGH SCHOOL | OH, USA | BAD BEHAVIOR, EXAMS/TESTS, TEACHERS
(April Fool’s day is always ‘fun’ in my school district; practically every teacher pulls some kind of prank. I am a special needs child on the autism spectrum, meaning I don’t always get sarcasm and jokes. This year is particularly traumatic, with my biology teacher pulling this stunt.)

Bio Teacher: Today we’ll be taking a test on Organic Compounds. You will have the whole period to do this test, and you will have to name each of the compounds listed in your book, without looking at them. The test is worth 100 points.

(There is a list of thirty compounds that I still can’t remember the names of. The whole class sits in silence for about ten minutes while the teacher is out, allegedly printing out some materials. Then, another teacher comes in.)

Teacher #2: “The test has been cancelled. Feel free to throw away all your materials.”

(The whole class does so; I have a feeling that a lot of them knew this was a joke. I didn’t. My teacher came back in about three minutes later.)

Bio Teacher: “Where’s all the tests? Why aren’t you working on your tests?!”

Student: “Mr. [Teacher #2] told us to throw them out.”

Bio Teacher: “Why would you listen to him?”

Student: “He said you cancelled the test!”

(At this point, I was panicking. I had never failed a test before in my life, and I was afraid my parents were going to ground me, or worse, for doing so. The teacher kept insisting that he didn’t know what we were talking about, and then said that we had all failed the test. The next thing I remember, I was in the counselor’s office, apparently having suffered a panic attack. I don’t think he pulled any pranks in any of his classes after that year.)

Samizdata posted:

Nope nope nope. Did NOT happen. The customer at no point expressed incredulity that they were to put a disc in their nifty retractable cup shelf. Unless, of course, they were Einstein...

(I have worked tech support for a long time. Also, that post was a 'shop. I could see the pixels.)

jezebel's behind closed ovens commenter Katie Jefferson posted:

For a brief time in college, I worked as a cashier at a small Mexican take-out restaurant. The owner of the restaurant had very specific things he looked for in a cashier. We must be young, blonde, have an inability to speak Spanish, and be willing to work under the table. Looking back on it now, I wonder why on earth I ever took this job. I must have been blinded by the prospect of free burritos.

Then one shift I was told I wouldn’t be working the cash register, but instead doing the owner a favor that day. He asked me, “You read English, right?” to which I said “Yeah...” He replied, “Good, then you can program our video cameras.” Now I am not technically savvy, so the fact that I can read English was not going to help me program anything. But it was a day away from actual customers, so I said I would do it. I then followed him behind the building to where the dumpster was, and he indicated for me to open a door (which I had never seen before) into what I lovingly refer to as “ the cum dungeon”.

Before me was the most terrifying room I had ever seen, and I was pretty sure I was going to die in there. It was a concrete room with no windows and hundreds of Playboy/Hustler pictures taped to the wall. On the floor was a bare, stained mattress and a single La-Z-boy sitting in front of a TV. I was in such shock that I don’t even remember how I ended up sitting on that La-Z-Boy and starting to program his video cameras for him. My fingers were like lighting on that remote control, and I programmed like no one had ever programmed before! The last thing I wanted was for him to open the door and find me not done.

Finally after four hours, the owner opened the door to see my progress. I told him I was sick and had to leave, and raced out of there as quick as possible, never to return. Now, as a mature adult I would have called the police to investigate, but at the time I was more worried about the pay I was losing by never going back. Sometimes free burritos aren’t worth it.

kizudarake posted:

kizudarake posted:

Tunahead posted:

The story clearly and consistently said "disks", not "discs". This means diskettes, which are not an optical disc medium and don't go in retractable drives.

I think your assertion that you have worked tech support for a long time is the true STDH here.

Tunahead posted:

The story clearly and consistently said "disks", not "discs". This means diskettes, which are not an optical disc medium and don't go in retractable drives.

I think your assertion that you have worked tech support for a long time is the true STDH here.

Samizdata posted:

Whatever. It could have been a CD.

Leon Einstein posted:

Again, it said disk, not disc. Shouldn't someone with a tech support background know the difference?

Lady Naga posted:

Perhaps they don't give a poo poo about being completely accurate in a dumb story for losers.

Rahonavis posted:

I decided to check on what our old friend Amy Lee has been up to. Now I need a strong drink and a good, long stare at the wall. Jesus...

quote:

It was Chris who brought the Queen of England into my life and convinced her I was out to ruin the name of Ian Fleming. She considered Fleming to be a “National Treasure” despite him being a philanderer who often had affairs and not once but twice named a character for female genitalia. Needless to say, Kurt Cobain and Joe Elliott were never prosecuted for stalking, drugging, kidnapping, or repeatedly raping me. Before the Queen’s unofficial visit to Alabama, I heard Chris tell Kurt to do exactly as he told him and he would “get him off the hook”.

Jonathan Yeah! posted:

Actually, it seems Jesus is the only person she didn't meet, get assaulted by, name, or inspire.


Is she one of these gang stalking people, or is this a whole other branch of crazy?

Rahonavis posted:

I decided to check on what our old friend Amy Lee has been up to. Now I need a strong drink and a good, long stare at the wall. Jesus...

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

This is my first ever encounter with this blog. So she thinks she's the Amy Lee from Evanescence, is that the deal? Mental illness is a terrible thing.

Alaois posted:

no she gave the Amy Lee from Evanescence her name to use as a stage name, also she wrote all of Evanescence's songs and also wrote or inspired every song and movie you've ever heard/seen in your life.

Alaois posted:

no she gave the Amy Lee from Evanescence her name to use as a stage name, also she wrote all of Evanescence's songs and also wrote or inspired every song and movie you've ever heard/seen in your life.

Jay Rust posted:

What's the medical term for that kind of illness?

Jay Rust posted:

What's the medical term for that kind of illness?

Alaois posted:

no she gave the Amy Lee from Evanescence her name to use as a stage name, also she wrote all of Evanescence's songs and also wrote or inspired every song and movie you've ever heard/seen in your life.

Elblanco posted:

The f plus did an amazing episode on her.

http://thefpl.us/episode/97

kizudarake posted:

gently caress the f plus.

Don't just read this poo poo in an enthusiastic manner. Make each episode 3 hours, read a bit, then have a panel discussion about why it's hosed up.

kizudarake posted:

gently caress the f plus.

Don't just read this poo poo in an enthusiastic manner. Make each episode 3 hours, read a bit, then have a panel discussion about why it's hosed up.

Postal Parcel posted:

Today on the fplus, we have as our special guest 69Maggots69 to talk with us on the logistics and efficacy of receiving fellatio from maggots and other insects. Then we'll have a discussion on how sticking a bad dragon(TM) dildo into your anal orifice may lead to undesired results.

quote:

""Culture" is a tricky word, but it best describes our modern popular arts and entertainment, regardless of quality. When it comes to music, the disposable profit-motivated pop music released over the past 60 years has done far more to influence our way of life than the hundreds of years of finely crafted art before it. Maybe this is a condemnation of the direction humanity has taken, or maybe it's that it's way more fun to listen to "Shoop" than it is to read Leaves of Grass. But have you ever taken a moment to consider who was really responsible for all of this? Because it turns out it's just some lady with a blog. This week, we're writing the definitive Nirvana biopic."

kizudarake posted:

gently caress the f plus.

Don't just read this poo poo in an enthusiastic manner. Make each episode 3 hours, read a bit, then have a panel discussion about why it's hosed up.

kizudarake posted:

Please do.


The episode description from the earlier link reads:


That, combined with "the f plus had an episode about<hosed up poo poo> " implies that they're going to be actually talking about the hosed up poo poo, not "a bunch of people with lovely microphones and lovely internet connections are on a Skype call reading hosed up internet posts."

I expected the episodes to be more like this thread, honestly.

kizudarake posted:

Please do.


The episode description from the earlier link reads:


That, combined with "the f plus had an episode about<hosed up poo poo> " implies that they're going to be actually talking about the hosed up poo poo, not "a bunch of people with lovely microphones and lovely internet connections are on a Skype call reading hosed up internet posts."

I expected the episodes to be more like this thread, honestly.

Lady Naga posted:

Let's all have a reasonable discussion about the historical impact of giantess fetishism.

Alaois posted:

there's a reason the F-Plus has 2 succinct episodes about TVTropes that are both funny, as opposed to 6 threads that went on way too long and eventually were just pulling out the floorboards and yelling "LOOK HOW DIRTY IT IS UNDER HERE!"

kizudarake posted:

Please do.


The episode description from the earlier link reads:


That, combined with "the f plus had an episode about<hosed up poo poo> " implies that they're going to be actually talking about the hosed up poo poo, not "a bunch of people with lovely microphones and lovely internet connections are on a Skype call reading hosed up internet posts."

I expected the episodes to be more like this thread, honestly.