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Possibly Chicken posted:Undercooked chicken is probably what they serve in hell. Many years ago I was working in New York City with some friends of mine. Our gig finished up around 2 AM and we were drunk as gently caress by about 3:30 AM. While wandering around time square we came upon a vendor selling chicken kebabs. However it looked like he was high on smack and his charcoal grill had burned out hours ago. Undeterred I bought some chicken kebabs against the advice of my friends. Ate one and a half of them before realizing they were basically raw inside. I was super drunk and very hungry so I ate the other one. About 10 minutes later I thought better of it and made myself puke right in the street. Welp that's my undercooked chicken story hope you liked it.
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Sep 16, 2015 02:03
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| # ? May 24, 2024 14:08 |
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 Thanks facebook
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Sep 16, 2015 02:05
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Carbon Thief posted:See if you can track down one of these: I've actually already tried this, but if they're still available I'll happily eat some more. It was pretty good. Way better than plain milk chocolate. I also enjoyed those Vegemite flavoured chips that were available a few years ago.
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Sep 16, 2015 03:12
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Picnic Princess posted:
unless you're from new jersey, no, i reckon most people do not remember taylor ham
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Sep 16, 2015 03:21
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bunnielab posted:Many years ago I was working in New York City with some friends of mine. Our gig finished up around 2 AM and we were drunk as gently caress by about 3:30 AM. While wandering around time square we came upon a vendor selling chicken kebabs. However it looked like he was high on smack and his charcoal grill had burned out hours ago. Undeterred I bought some chicken kebabs against the advice of my friends. Ate one and a half of them before realizing they were basically raw inside. I was super drunk and very hungry so I ate the other one. About 10 minutes later I thought better of it and made myself puke right in the street. Welp that's my undercooked chicken story hope you liked it. I'll keep an eye out for kebab vendors using charcoal grills next time I'm in Time Square
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Sep 16, 2015 04:11
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Since Crash Cab threw down the Gauntlet, and I had time between work and class, and I really hate myself, I decided to throw myself upon the gauntlet known as a KFC famous bowl. Yes, I did wander down to my local seatless KFC for this Gaze upon the much nicer KFC. Note the signs advertising the double down, look at the vet office behind it. I entered and ordered. The people in the store were nice and friendly. All of them got the look in the eyes when I order that they knew I had surrended to the ennui of life and decided to end it all by sad sloppy carbs, and while they did not respect my choice, they did respect my courage in seeking to end on my own terms.  Here is my seat. Of course, it wasn’t that comfortable, but it was somewhere to sit and eat. As well, as per being a goon, of course what is in the cup is Mountain Dew.  You might be able to look at the fogged over bowl through the clear plastic. Tremble.  Here we go. I think this wins some of the bingo. You can even see the loose corn. As can be expected, the steam and cheap salty “gravy” had rendered the popcorn chicken mushy. Everything tasted of salt and cheap. The grease swirled my mouth, coating every part of it. The cheese failed to even taste remotely of cheese, or any dairy product, or even anything that once existed in a natural state at any time, unless it was petroleum. Two forkfuls in, my stomached cramped, four and my leg cramped.  This is what is left after I after all the chicken. This wins all the bingos. You can see the fries that somehow ended up in the bowl. They were an unexpected treat, reminding me of the poutine I got at my high school cafeteria, only without the catholic shame, and jesus from my catholic school. On the negative side, also no cute girls in short kilts ignoring and/or humiliating me. Anyways, all that was left at this point was wet bland starch. It didn’t even taste of salt anymore. My vision faded, the cramps were now stabbing pains, my heads buzzed. I couldn’t even finish this abomination. I got up, staggered to a bus stop, and nearly passed out into a food coma on the bus, of which I only just recovered from. On the plus side, the cookie in the red wrapper was actually decently tasty.
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Sep 16, 2015 04:19
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cyberia posted:I've never had badly cooked chicken from a KFC Coles has the SFC chicken brand which is p much just a rip off kfc. I may yet do a $15 bucket trip report
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Sep 16, 2015 04:21
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Mizufusion posted:I have the pleasure (?) of working at a restaurant where they just unveiled this: Recipe please I will unashamedly make this at home
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Sep 16, 2015 04:25
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bunnyofdoom posted:Anyways, all that was left at this point was wet bland starch. It didn’t even taste of salt anymore. My vision faded, the cramps were now stabbing pains, my heads buzzed. I couldn’t even finish this abomination. I got up, staggered to a bus stop, and nearly passed out into a food coma on the bus, of which I only just recovered from. do you have the constitution of a 2-day old cat
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Sep 16, 2015 04:26
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Alaois posted:do you have the constitution of a 2-day old cat Actually, yes.
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Sep 16, 2015 04:29
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Some of these reactions to bland mainstream fast food that sustain tens of millions of people daily remind me of Ron White talking about wispy vegetarians exposed accidentally to beef broth. "Your body's kickin' back.... broth?" "You're a manly man  "
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Sep 16, 2015 04:30
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bunnyofdoom posted:Actually, yes. please clean your nails
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Sep 16, 2015 04:32
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I can and will happily eat 2 KFC bowls and a crispy strip wrap. Or a double down and 2 wraps. Also seconding the request for cheeseburger egg roll recipe.
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Sep 16, 2015 04:48
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McSpergin posted:Recipe please I will unashamedly make this at home titties posted:Also seconding the request for cheeseburger egg roll recipe. As far as I can tell, it's just seasoned hamburger meat, diced onions, crumbled bacon, and cheddar cheese rolled up in an eggroll wrapper and deep fried. I'm not part of the kitchen staff so I can't say for sure what goes into any of the food we serve, but there may also be equal measures of hope and despair in this recipe.
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Sep 16, 2015 04:56
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titties posted:Also seconding the request for cheeseburger egg roll recipe. Nah, don't gently caress around with cheese burgers: http://www.carlsbadcravings.com/philly-cheesesteak-egg-rolls-recipe/ I get these on the rare time that I order take out Chinese from the place up the street. I will also get a large wonton soup and drink all the broth after eating the wontons. The combination has never once made me not painfully poo poo within an hour, but I keep going back once every month or two.
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Sep 16, 2015 05:04
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Alaois posted:do you have the constitution of a 2-day old cat To you, that's just corn, mashed potatoes, gravy and chicken. A boring rear end meal millions of Americans eat every day in an overly salty fast food style. To goons?  MOOOM THE FOOD IS TOUCHING IT'S TOUCHIIIIIIIIIING
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Sep 16, 2015 06:33
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Nope. That bowl of slop is loving disgusting and if you regularly eat that poo poo you deserve all the discomfort that comes after. I'm not the healthiest
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Sep 16, 2015 06:42
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Only thing worse than these fast food abominations are goons pretending to be food critics while eating them.
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Sep 16, 2015 06:44
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Man, I used to be able to go to town on a famous bowl and I recently had one and was mostly just disappointed in significantly younger me's sense of taste. Salt and cardboard with maybe a hint of locally sourced Missouri meth.
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Sep 16, 2015 07:12
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God dammit, why're all these joyless fucks coming in trying to keep people from making trip reports funny?bunnyofdoom posted:Since Crash Cab threw down the Gauntlet, and I had time between work and class, and I really hate myself, I decided to throw myself upon the gauntlet known as a KFC famous bowl. Yes, I did wander down to my local seatless KFC for this That part got me laughing, good work. But hey, now we know that you really need to make these things yourself because otherwise it all turns into mush.
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Sep 16, 2015 07:42
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Neo_Crimson posted:Only thing worse than these fast food abominations are goons pretending to be food critics while eating them. Yeah goons, stop putting in effort to try to provide original, funny content directly related to the thread topic. Just complain instead like super cool forums poster Neo_Crimson. 
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Sep 16, 2015 08:00
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Picnic Princess posted:
You have Maritimers on your Facebook because that is Newfoundland steak.
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Sep 16, 2015 08:01
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Mexican Deathgasm posted:Yeah goons, stop putting in effort to try to provide original, funny content directly related to the thread topic. Just complain instead like super cool forums poster Neo_Crimson. Is that supposed to be chicken on that spoon? I can parse that the other stuff is shrimp.
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Sep 16, 2015 08:12
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RareAcumen posted:Is that supposed to be chicken on that spoon? I can parse that the other stuff is shrimp. I would say scallops. 
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Sep 16, 2015 08:14
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Mexican Deathgasm posted:Yeah goons, stop putting in effort to try to provide original, funny content directly related to the thread topic. Just complain instead like super cool forums poster Neo_Crimson. Might, depending on the sauce
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Sep 16, 2015 08:22
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Should probably be cooked first though
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Sep 16, 2015 08:32
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Neo_Crimson posted:Only thing worse than these fast food abominations are goons pretending to be food critics while eating them. Nah, there's also your posting, and this: 
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Sep 16, 2015 08:35
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Okay goons, I was at the supermarket and found some local Australian garbage food for you all to enjoy: KFC Zinger-flavoured chips! These are actually pretty tasty. They have a hint of chilli powder and a decent crunch and are a decent facsimile of eating the crunchy bits of batter off a zinger burger. 10/10 would buy and eat a whole bag while stoned again.  Hot Diggity Dog! Hot dog flavoured chips.  These were pretty disappointing because they taste exactly like a hot dog with ketchup and mustard but are also cloyingly sweet for some reason? And it turns out no one wants to eat a whole bag of hot dog-flavoured chips. 2/10 would buy to take to a party as a novelty flavour. And some bonus content:  #wifelife  edit - there were also cheeseburger flavoured Pringles at the supermarket which I've had before and they taste amazing with a strong pickle flavour and a slight cheesiness but I didn't buy them today because I know I would eat the whole drat can if I did. double edit - mods, please change my name to Pepperoni Dogfart
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Sep 16, 2015 08:40
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BARONS CYBER SKULL posted:Nah, there's also your posting, and this: Mmmmm, mm, mmm! Mop water chicken noodle soup!
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Sep 16, 2015 09:02
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Son of cash crab posted:Nope. That bowl of slop is loving disgusting and if you regularly eat that poo poo you deserve all the discomfort that comes after. RareAcumen posted:God dammit, why're all these joyless fucks coming in trying to keep people from making trip reports funny?
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Sep 16, 2015 09:55
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The KFC trip was horrifying and funny. Fast food is often anti-food porn, I like seeing what abominations these "food engineers" come up with and I like being horrified by it.
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Sep 16, 2015 10:01
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I can't believe I actually agree with a Tiggum post.
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Sep 16, 2015 10:02
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Plinkey posted:Nah, don't gently caress around with cheese burgers: I had cheese steak egg rolls at some place in Baltimore. Pretty tasty, standard cheese steak ingredients so no mushrooms or jalapenos. Just steak, cheese, and grilled onions.
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Sep 16, 2015 10:03
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Stop defending technically edible food with nominally food-safe ingredients. It's bad, it's bad for you, and it looks bad, and it shouldn't be normal food, because constantly eating that slop directly leads to people putting an overcooked chicken leg, half a cup of microwaved frozen corn, and reconstituted freeze dried potato flakes on a paper plate and calling themselves great cooks. Because all this salt and sugar overloaded garbage is so cheap and easy to get, people never have to learn what good food tastes like, let alone how to make it. The fact that the average human body can tolerate and enjoy and even crave this poo poo without immediate ill effects is a testament to wonder of evolution giving us very versatile biology that can survive a huge amount of abuse, and the fact that thousands of people eat what amounts to slow poison every day should be considered sad, not normal. Stop defending it. Also, those trip reports are funny.
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Sep 16, 2015 10:17
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Tiggum posted:Because pretending normal foods are horrifying isn't funny. Eat something actually weird and then it'll be worth posting about, but people eat at KFC all the time. It's a gigantic international chain of restaurants. Their food may not be particularly good, it may be bad for your health to eat it regularly, but it's not anti food porn. It's just fast food. It sure as gently caress doesn't look appetizing or manage to be delicious which are basically like most of the functions of food's existence. The only other thing that it could do is at least have the decency to be healthy for you while not looking good like passion fruit but it doesn't pull that off either because it's loving fast food. I doubt anyone in this thread is going to make something out Epic Meal Time or a Guy Fieri abomination so badly cooked overstressed-worker prepared fast food slop is the best you're going to get.
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Sep 16, 2015 10:38
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Jesus loving christ, 99.5% of the food in this thread is technically edibile. Stop gooning out and let people post trip reports of lovely looking KFC buckets if they want - If I'm Scottish and can resist the urge to post 'BUT HAGGIS IS ACTUALLY VERY NICE' then so can you! 
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Sep 16, 2015 10:49
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These fast food "trip reports" just lack any sort of novelty or interest. Eating two pieces of lovely fried chicken plus some cheese food and bacon and yellow sauce is something I see people do every day. Gimme a trip report where you prepare and consume some horrible aspics, like these bastards, and I'll be interested.
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Sep 16, 2015 11:20
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OutsideAngel posted:These fast food "trip reports" just lack any sort of novelty or interest. Eating two pieces of lovely fried chicken plus some cheese food and bacon and yellow sauce is something I see people do every day. No joke, I'd love to try an avocado pie.
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Sep 16, 2015 13:40
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This looks loving amazing. God I miss eating fresh seafood all the time.
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Sep 16, 2015 14:19
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Ewwwwww. Also, I really can't understand why so many people here are being such incredible pissbabies about people making hyperbolic food reviews for laughs. If you're so inclined, you can write your own.
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Sep 16, 2015 14:43
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