Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

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Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

Elias_Maluco posted:

Hunting also seems to be broken now, but in the opposite way: its events will almost never fire, nothing ever happen. I usually get the dog and one or two "white animal" events, but nothing ever comes from then and that's it. I can sit on it for decades and still I get no hunter, no stats, nothing.

Maybe they tried to nerf it a bit and went too far? Now is useless.

Strange. It looks like it's the same as it ever was - a new hunt is scheduled at the end of the old one, between 1 day and ~4 years later.

hidden_tooltip = { character_event = { id = WoL.5002 days = 365 random = 1000 } }

Can't happen if you're in command, though. Or if you have the do_not_disturb flag.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 21:44

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# ? May 29, 2024 20:08

Dallan Invictus: Oct 11, 2007; The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes, look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.

Chexoid posted:

Holy jeeze. I guess it has to do with them being the target of a crusade, but what event is it that spawns 70k levies?

Leftovers from the original Seljuk doomstack maybe? I don't remember if that gets inherited in vanilla.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 21:45

Aethernet: Jan 28, 2009; This is the Captain...

Our glorious political masters have, in their wisdom, decided to form an alliance with a rag-tag bunch of freedom fighters right when the Federation has us at a tactical disadvantage. Unsurprisingly, this has resulted in the Feds firing on our vessels...

Damn you Huxley!; Grimey Drawer

prussian advisor posted:

So I'd like some advice from the pros in this thread:

I haven't played this game for quite awhile previously, having done the "noob island" run as an Irish count back in the day when only a couple expansions were out. I'm current now up to Charlemagne (but not Horse Lords) and I've been trying to start a game as a pre-Norman English lord and it is just not going well at all for me. I've tried one game for now as the King of Northumbria, and one as the King of Mercia, and both have ended with the same catastrophe. I consolidate my power, move immediately to change the laws to primogeniture/low crown authority, start to expand my power slowly but surely, forging claims and nibbling off bits of small and mid-sized independent lords nearby without loving with the Picts or whichever I'm not playing of Mercia/Northumbria, and I steadily grow in power to the point where I'm probably the most powerful single landholder in Britain but only by a hair. Then, usually around when the Viking Age begins, there comes a point where I'm waging war on a minor Welsh war to incorporate his realm into mine, and some 1400-strong Viking raiding party just shows up at my doorstep at random unlike the little shitkicking bands that had been harassing me before, and when I break off to engage them (usually with substantial losses) one of my bigger neighbors decides, quite rightly, that this is his big chance and declares war on whatever claim(s) he has and rolls his fresh levies all over my depleted ones, depleting them further. I'm forced to surrender, my holdings are reduced, my levies are at low strength, and some other mid-large power decides to take a bite and before I know it my situation is no better than it was at game start and rapidly is worse off.

I guess what I'm asking is, what's the best way to avoid getting dogpiled starting the game under these circumstances? Alternatively, are there any other particularly good or interesting starts in this time period you guys would recommend? I really only have experience playing as Feudal Catholic rulers from the original start point. I have all the expansions save Horse Lords & Rajas of India, would you recommend picking those up?

I'm just doing a Northumbria run myself - up to 1000AD and own most of France, Spain, Norway, Sweden, Denmark & Germany. There are actually few downsides to letting Viking raiders do what they want if it's not your demesne they're raiding - you don't even get an opinion penalty. If you're too weak to take them on without significant losses, ignore them.

As Northumbria, try expanding into Scotland first and not waiting to consolidate power - ultimogeniture is fine until your kingdom is bigger. Scotland is already a kingdom you can usurp and immediately switch to ultimo. Always gently caress with the Picts, when you have enough troops. Save money for mercenaries in case the worst happens too.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 21:58

e X: Feb 23, 2013; cool but crude

Speaking of huge armies, I am currently on my first game playing all the way from 700 to 1400 and now in the middle of the twelfth century, and every kingdom and empire can fill massive armies, all around 100.000 strong. Makes wars really expensive and really long and kind renders mercenaries a little useless.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 22:03

prussian advisor: Jan 15, 2007; The day you see a camera come into our courtroom, its going to roll over my dead body.

Aethernet posted:

I'm just doing a Northumbria run myself - up to 1000AD and own most of France, Spain, Norway, Sweden, Denmark & Germany. There are actually few downsides to letting Viking raiders do what they want if it's not your demesne they're raiding - you don't even get an opinion penalty. If you're too weak to take them on without significant losses, ignore them.

As Northumbria, try expanding into Scotland first and not waiting to consolidate power - ultimogeniture is fine until your kingdom is bigger. Scotland is already a kingdom you can usurp and immediately switch to ultimo. Always gently caress with the Picts, when you have enough troops. Save money for mercenaries in case the worst happens too.

This seems like good advice, thanks. On a related note, is it possible to change the name/family crest of families and still keep it on Ironman for achievements? I'd love to play with a custom family/coat of arms but not give myself any actual advantage, but Ruler Designer seems to disable that.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 22:05

lurksion: Mar 21, 2013

prussian advisor posted:

This seems like good advice, thanks. On a related note, is it possible to change the name/family crest of families and still keep it on Ironman for achievements? I'd love to play with a custom family/coat of arms but not give myself any actual advantage, but Ruler Designer seems to disable that.

Customization DLC (separate from designer) lets you do that.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 22:15

Elias_Maluco: Aug 23, 2007; I need to sleep

Strudel Man posted:

Strange. It looks like it's the same as it ever was - a new hunt is scheduled at the end of the old one, between 1 day and ~4 years later.

hidden_tooltip = { character_event = { id = WoL.5002 days = 365 random = 1000 } }

Can't happen if you're in command, though. Or if you have the do_not_disturb flag.

Oh, that's it then. I never knew about that, and playing as a nomad my character is in command pretty much 100% of the time.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 22:19

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Anyone have any experience with the Project Augustus mod? Does it make Rome more fun and immersive to play or is it just one giant broken wank fest?

# ? Sep 15, 2015 22:21

Soup du Journey: Mar 20, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

whenever i pick intrigue, the spy on action disappears after a handful of successes. whats going on?

# ? Sep 15, 2015 22:59

Jazerus: May 24, 2011

prussian advisor posted:

So I'd like some advice from the pros in this thread:

I haven't played this game for quite awhile previously, having done the "noob island" run as an Irish count back in the day when only a couple expansions were out. I'm current now up to Charlemagne (but not Horse Lords) and I've been trying to start a game as a pre-Norman English lord and it is just not going well at all for me. I've tried one game for now as the King of Northumbria, and one as the King of Mercia, and both have ended with the same catastrophe. I consolidate my power, move immediately to change the laws to primogeniture/low crown authority, start to expand my power slowly but surely, forging claims and nibbling off bits of small and mid-sized independent lords nearby without loving with the Picts or whichever I'm not playing of Mercia/Northumbria, and I steadily grow in power to the point where I'm probably the most powerful single landholder in Britain but only by a hair. Then, usually around when the Viking Age begins, there comes a point where I'm waging war on a minor Welsh war to incorporate his realm into mine, and some 1400-strong Viking raiding party just shows up at my doorstep at random unlike the little shitkicking bands that had been harassing me before, and when I break off to engage them (usually with substantial losses) one of my bigger neighbors decides, quite rightly, that this is his big chance and declares war on whatever claim(s) he has and rolls his fresh levies all over my depleted ones, depleting them further. I'm forced to surrender, my holdings are reduced, my levies are at low strength, and some other mid-large power decides to take a bite and before I know it my situation is no better than it was at game start and rapidly is worse off.

I guess what I'm asking is, what's the best way to avoid getting dogpiled starting the game under these circumstances? Alternatively, are there any other particularly good or interesting starts in this time period you guys would recommend? I really only have experience playing as Feudal Catholic rulers from the original start point. I have all the expansions save Horse Lords & Rajas of India, would you recommend picking those up?

You could always play as the Welsh instead. They are much more insulated from Viking attacks sitting on the west side of the isle.

Svitjod (proto-Sweden) is a good start to try out the Norse. Either of the pre-1066 starts would be fine. Most starts for the other pagan religions are roughly equivalent so just jump in wherever for them.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 00:50

Coward: Sep 10, 2009; _{I say we take off and surrender unconditionally from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure}

.

Aschlafly posted:

Playing a pagan merchant republic suddenly got a lot harder. "Hire mercenaries and cross your fingers" no longer works, since most mercenary companies

Had an annoying time last night for my West African Merchant Republic. My High Priestess is basically Queen of Andalusia (except that Theocracies can't be given kingdoms, so she constantly exceeds the vassal limit as a Duke-equivalent) and she for some reason keeps declaring Holy Wars for Provence against the single county of Forcalquier. Which we do not border. And which brings in both mega-France and nascent Italy as allies. I was able to stave off disaster by raiding France and Italy to make them hostile despite our truces, and smash their armies up to prevent her troops from getting killed. But I have no way of declaring war on Holy Orders so the Knights Templar and Knights of Calatrava show up as a murderstack of Knights against Light Infantry and completely wipe her out while my huge armies have to loving sit by and watch unable to assist. Another Holy War lost. But raiding people nearby with 30k armies is amusing since I hadn't bothered to do it in centuries. Especially when one raid found the key that opened the box I'd found 300 years earlier.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 03:54

ajkalan: Aug 17, 2011

She's so fat, she gets in her own way walking down the hall.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 04:02

prussian advisor: Jan 15, 2007; The day you see a camera come into our courtroom, its going to roll over my dead body.

Well, I wound up taking a much different tack for my Charlemagne start.

I decided to finally try and find out what it would be like to play as a vassal in the middle of a vast empire and just see how long I could survive. So I wound up picking up a count in West Francia named Chiemgaudson. He had a two-county demesne right on the border of the independent remaining portions of Brittany. After I started the game, I realized, this guy is almost sixty years old, is unmarried, has no heir, and the game is maybe already about to end. However, I married him off to a young woman, hit family focus/have a son ambition, and sure enough, he managed to crank out one son and one daughter before giving up the ghost.

So I patted myself on the back for saving a family line from extinction that would probably vanish 10 years into most games 99% of the time, until I realized that little junior (Leudast Chiemgaudson) had come out with the Slow trait. Not an encouraging start, nor was his syphilitic, paranoid regent. However, the latter was Midas Touched and wound up conferring this helpful trait to young Leudast. I gave him hunting focus, and he would eventually become known as Leudast the Hunter after almost catching the white stag (is it actually possible to kill the white stag?) He eventually wound up marrying an incredibly capable woman and developing some amazing stats of his own, taking over enough of the independent Breton provinces to convert himself to Dukedom, took over the remaining provinces of Brittany, launched a holy war against and annexed the Fraticelli provinces of Cornwall, and took over a tiny southern chunk of Ireland. Meanwhile, West Francia descended into chaos, with King Pepin "the Devil" losing southern France to the Umayyads, and allowing Fraticelli hordes to rampage unchecked through the central region. Ultimately, Leudast managed to eclipse Pepin in strength albeit temporarily, declared independence, slaughtered his army with the help of a horde of mercenaries, successfully besieged Paris, and became the first king of an independent Brittany, fulfilling his ambition, and dying at age 75 with twelve children and over 5,000 prestige. Probably the most fun I've had in a Paradox game in an extremely long time, although it remains to be seen how long I'll be able to hold this fledgling kingdom together. Hopefully I'll be able to continue to expand my hold on the British Isles and even form a proper empire.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 04:16

TheCIASentMe: Jul 11, 2003; I'll get you! Just you wait and see!

prussian advisor posted:

This seems like good advice, thanks. On a related note, is it possible to change the name/family crest of families and still keep it on Ironman for achievements? I'd love to play with a custom family/coat of arms but not give myself any actual advantage, but Ruler Designer seems to disable that.

In addition to what the other's have said, it also sounds like you're not getting enough allies. Marry those daughters off to powerful and close-ish states that you don't plan on attacking any time soon. The call them in when you're attacked.

Marry all of your daughters off (matrilineally if possible, especially the first one) asap.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 04:22

Antifa Spacemarine: Jan 11, 2011; Tzeentch can suck it.

Coward posted:

Had an annoying time last night for my West African Merchant Republic. My High Priestess is basically Queen of Andalusia (except that Theocracies can't be given kingdoms, so she constantly exceeds the vassal limit as a Duke-equivalent) and she for some reason keeps declaring Holy Wars for Provence against the single county of Forcalquier. Which we do not border. And which brings in both mega-France and nascent Italy as allies. I was able to stave off disaster by raiding France and Italy to make them hostile despite our truces, and smash their armies up to prevent her troops from getting killed. But I have no way of declaring war on Holy Orders so the Knights Templar and Knights of Calatrava show up as a murderstack of Knights against Light Infantry and completely wipe her out while my huge armies have to loving sit by and watch unable to assist. Another Holy War lost. But raiding people nearby with 30k armies is amusing since I hadn't bothered to do it in centuries. Especially when one raid found the key that opened the box I'd found 300 years earlier.

Can't you just offer to join her war under the diplomacy menu?

# ? Sep 16, 2015 04:25

Coward: Sep 10, 2009; _{I say we take off and surrender unconditionally from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure}

.

Shaman Ooglaboogla posted:

Can't you just offer to join her war under the diplomacy menu?

Oh, can you join vassals' wars now in the patch? That definitely makes things easier!

# ? Sep 16, 2015 04:54

verbal enema: May 23, 2009; onlymarfans.com

Yes you can kill the White Stag

# ? Sep 16, 2015 05:00

Orcs and Ostriches: Aug 26, 2010; The Great Twist

I must be missing something with how other people's claims work.

I recently became King of England, and now I'm trying to finish off Wales. I have a Vassal with a Strong Claim on the county Perfeddwlad*. I should be able to go to war with Perfeddwlad's liege, with his Claim Perfeddwlad as the CB, no? It just says I have no valid CB.

Well, no matter. I have a courtier with a strong claim on the Petty Kingdom of Powys. I should be able to push his claim as a CB again (after I land him to make him my vassal of course), shouldn't I? I still get no valid CB when I try.

Are there any other conditions that I'm missing, or am I just way off the mark?

*That's seriously the name. loving Wales.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 06:08

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

verbal enema posted:

Yes you can kill the White Stag

You also get the option to spare him, but who the gently caress would do that?

# ? Sep 16, 2015 13:19

BravestOfTheLamps: Oct 12, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Lipstick Apathy

Eric the Mauve posted:

You also get the option to spare him, but who the gently caress would do that?

Because you are of noble spirit.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 13:42

Soup du Journey: Mar 20, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

Doctor Schnabel posted:

whenever i pick intrigue, the spy on action disappears after a handful of successes. whats going on?

just a heads-up, if this bugs out for anyone else, you can type "event WoL.2050" in the console to force your guy to spy on himself. you can then tell yourself to stop spying on yourself, and that should clear everything, making the action available again for you to use on others. ive got no idea if this wrecks the game in some mysterious way though

# ? Sep 16, 2015 14:22

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

Like my personal dream of being rich enough to hire private investigators to spy on each other, I've always wondered about the possibility Way of Life presents to have Duke Henri spying on Duke Engelschalk, who is spying on Duke Charles, who is spying on Duke Henri.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 14:50

DrSunshine: Mar 23, 2009; Did I just say that out loud~~?!!!

It's spies all the way down!!

# ? Sep 16, 2015 15:54

prussian advisor: Jan 15, 2007; The day you see a camera come into our courtroom, its going to roll over my dead body.

So if I want to fill out the empty holding slots in my personal capital, what is generally held to be the best option. I always figured it would be with additional castles, since once you're a king or better I figure it's better to have more loyal military on hand than it is having potential extra cash from city vassals.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 16:56

TorakFade: Oct 3, 2006; I strongly disapprove

prussian advisor posted:

So if I want to fill out the empty holding slots in my personal capital, what is generally held to be the best option. I always figured it would be with additional castles, since once you're a king or better I figure it's better to have more loyal military on hand than it is having potential extra cash from city vassals.

I like castles too, better troops and you get a sizeable bonus to levies in your capital duchy if I'm not mistaken, cities make a tempting amount of gold though for counties outside your capital.

TorakFade fucked around with this message at 18:25 on Sep 16, 2015

# ? Sep 16, 2015 18:22

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

TorakFade posted:

I like castles too, better troops and you get a sizeable bonus to levies in your capital duchy if I'm not mistaken, cities make a tempting amount of gold though for counties outside your capital.

Not just gold, but economy tech with universities.

I usually go deep with castles in the capital province, but you can also be very successful holding as many counties as possible with maximum cities beneath.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 18:42

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Eric the Mauve posted:

You also get the option to spare him, but who the gently caress would do that?

The one time I got the thing I let it go.

:3:

# ? Sep 16, 2015 18:45

mornhaven: Sep 10, 2011

Moridin920 posted:

The one time I got the thing I let it go.

Same here.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 18:52

FutonForensic: Nov 11, 2012

third option: seduce the stag

# ? Sep 16, 2015 18:56

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

FutonForensic posted:

third option: seduce the stag

There's a mod for that.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 18:58

Elias_Maluco: Aug 23, 2007; I need to sleep

FutonForensic posted:

third option: seduce the stag

give it a good tumble

# ? Sep 16, 2015 19:04

FutonForensic: Nov 11, 2012

My chancellor informed me that my stag is pregnant! But... I was away, wasn't I? Also, aren't stags supposed to be dudes?

_{>Doubt besets me!}

# ? Sep 16, 2015 19:11

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

FutonForensic posted:

My chancellor informed me that my stag is pregnant! But... I was away, wasn't I? Also, aren't stags supposed to be dudes?

_{>Doubt besets me!}

Incoming lunatic event spotted

# ? Sep 16, 2015 19:19

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

FutonForensic posted:

My chancellor informed me that my stag is pregnant! But... I was away, wasn't I? Also, aren't stags supposed to be dudes?

_{>Doubt besets me!}

It worries me how easily the image of this event came into my mind.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 20:00

Pikestaff: Feb 17, 2013; Came here to bark at you

Mister Adequate posted:

It worries me how easily the image of this event came into my mind.

I'm envisioning that "confused" looking face

# ? Sep 16, 2015 20:04

kingturnip: Apr 18, 2008

The Abbasids have conquered their way over to the Atlantic Ocean. The 769 Caliph's son, when he took over, had a bunch of sons, most of whom I was able to have assassinated, so when he croaked it, he only had one son left, a mediocre Steward-type.
And... nothing happened. He's still got 22k troops, he's still over his demesne limit, he still got a Short Reign malus... and no-one seems to care.
Where are my Independence revolts, where is the disintegration, where's my loving window of opportunity to invade? :saddowns:

# ? Sep 16, 2015 22:18

paranoid randroid: Mar 4, 2007

so ive fallen behind the curve pretty badly - is Horselords worth a buy?

# ? Sep 16, 2015 23:18

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

paranoid randroid posted:

so ive fallen behind the curve pretty badly - is Horselords worth a buy?

Playing as nomads is a very different way to play, and it's Easy Mode. If those things appeal to you then it's worth the buy. If not, it adds nothing else of consequence. It's basically like The Republic that way.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 23:37

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

kingturnip posted:

The Abbasids have conquered their way over to the Atlantic Ocean. The 769 Caliph's son, when he took over, had a bunch of sons, most of whom I was able to have assassinated, so when he croaked it, he only had one son left, a mediocre Steward-type.
And... nothing happened. He's still got 22k troops, he's still over his demesne limit, he still got a Short Reign malus... and no-one seems to care.
Where are my Independence revolts, where is the disintegration, where's my loving window of opportunity to invade?

There will never be any. Muslim megablobs are still invincible.

# ? Sep 16, 2015 23:37

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# ? May 29, 2024 20:08

Antifa Spacemarine: Jan 11, 2011; Tzeentch can suck it.

Does Steam offline mode disable achievements? I just did the Caliphate Strikes back, where I did everything but form the empire title in offline mode. I switched to regular steam and the cheevo didn't pop. So much went right for this run too, it would be a shame to lose it

# ? Sep 17, 2015 04:07

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

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