GWS General Chat: Damn I feel like a boss when I have one in each hand.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > GWS General Chat: Damn I feel like a boss when I have one in each hand.

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pile of brown: Dec 31, 2004

You could also try using a less glutinous flour, although you shouldn't be mixing your cookies enough to develop gluten.

More fat, less cook time too maybe

# ? Sep 20, 2015 09:43

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# ? May 25, 2024 20:58

Happy Hat: Aug 11, 2008; He just wants someone to shake his corks, is that too much to ask??

Lower your temp. Maintain cook time?

With regards to sweetness, use more sugar, or replace parts of sugar with light syrup.

Increase fat?

# ? Sep 20, 2015 09:57

Squashy Nipples: Aug 18, 2007

Maybe you are looking for more of a German Butter Cookie? They are sort of like a shortbread, but softer, like a sugar-cookie. Lots of eggs and butter.

Last night, I participated in what could only be described as a backyard Meat Orgy.

The pig was stuffed with a whole duck, a whole brisket, and some sausages.

The grill was going non-stop, too:
-chicken wings
-steak tips
-short ribs
-skewers of shrimp and scallops

# ? Sep 20, 2015 13:24

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

Squashy Nipples posted:

Meh, I grew up cooking and baking with cups and spoons, so they make sense to me.

But when I got my engineering degree, we had to learn to do all the calculations in both English and Metric, which was a huge pain in the rear end. Thermodynamics in particular is much easier in Metric. Also, Metric fastener sizes and thread-pitches make a hell of a lot more sense then the conventional sizes in Old English.

My mom became an engineer when Canada transitioned from Imperial to Metric, and literally every single question she had on every exam throughout her degree gave the question in one and asked for the answer in the other.

# ? Sep 20, 2015 14:44

Happy Hat: Aug 11, 2008; He just wants someone to shake his corks, is that too much to ask??

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:

My mom became an engineer when Canada transitioned from Imperial to Metric, and literally every single question she had on every exam throughout her degree gave the question in one and asked for the answer in the other.

That is mean and/or ingenious.

# ? Sep 20, 2015 15:00

CommonShore: Jun 6, 2014; A true renaissance man

RedneckwithGuns posted:

So I never post in GWS, and I didn't see a dedicated baking thread, so I don't know if this is the place to ask, but I'm having a hell of a time making sugar cookies how I'd like to.

Right now all the recipes I've tried for them make a fairly dry, puffy, semisweet cookie similar to those you'll see iced and in boxes by the dozen at chain grocery stores. Ideally I'd like to make them the way you find them in places like Subway and the place I used to always get them from as a kid: Perkins. These sugar cookies are much flatter, chewier, softer and generally much sweeter than the ones I've made myself. What should I be doing to make my sugar cookies like these?

Warmer ingredients.

# ? Sep 20, 2015 15:55

Chemmy: Feb 4, 2001

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:

My mom became an engineer when Canada transitioned from Imperial to Metric, and literally every single question she had on every exam throughout her degree gave the question in one and asked for the answer in the other.

I graduated engineering school in the US ten years ago. We got questions in both imperial and metric.

Most of us would convert the imperial questions to metric, solve the problem, and convert the answer back to imperial.

# ? Sep 20, 2015 16:07

Crusty Nutsack: Apr 21, 2005; SUCK LASER, COPPERS

RedneckwithGuns posted:

So I never post in GWS, and I didn't see a dedicated baking thread, so I don't know if this is the place to ask, but I'm having a hell of a time making sugar cookies how I'd like to.

Right now all the recipes I've tried for them make a fairly dry, puffy, semisweet cookie similar to those you'll see iced and in boxes by the dozen at chain grocery stores. Ideally I'd like to make them the way you find them in places like Subway and the place I used to always get them from as a kid: Perkins. These sugar cookies are much flatter, chewier, softer and generally much sweeter than the ones I've made myself. What should I be doing to make my sugar cookies like these?

You might want to look up no roll sugar cookies, or maybe snickerdoodles, and just roll them in plain sugar. I think that would be closer to the texture and style you're looking for?

# ? Sep 20, 2015 17:29

dis astranagant: Dec 14, 2006

Peep dat shortstack

# ? Sep 20, 2015 18:16

Squashy Nipples: Aug 18, 2007

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:

My mom became an engineer when Canada transitioned from Imperial to Metric, and literally every single question she had on every exam throughout her degree gave the question in one and asked for the answer in the other.

That's utterly fiendish, and I love it.

Even though you can just translate at the beginning or end, it adds an additional set of steps for you to screw up, putting extra emphasis on being meticulous with your calculations.

Chemmy posted:

I graduated engineering school in the US ten years ago. We got questions in both imperial and metric.

I got mine in the US about 20 years ago. "Imperial" and "Old English" were used interchangeably, but metric was only ever referred to by it's French name, "S.I."

Chemmy posted:

Most of us would convert the imperial questions to metric, solve the problem, and convert the answer back to imperial.

On my Thermo tests, I definitely remember being required to do the math for each problem in the units given, ie some were given in Imperial and some in SI.

# ? Sep 20, 2015 18:24

guppy: Sep 21, 2004; sting like a byob

RedneckwithGuns posted:

So I never post in GWS, and I didn't see a dedicated baking thread, so I don't know if this is the place to ask, but I'm having a hell of a time making sugar cookies how I'd like to.

Right now all the recipes I've tried for them make a fairly dry, puffy, semisweet cookie similar to those you'll see iced and in boxes by the dozen at chain grocery stores. Ideally I'd like to make them the way you find them in places like Subway and the place I used to always get them from as a kid: Perkins. These sugar cookies are much flatter, chewier, softer and generally much sweeter than the ones I've made myself. What should I be doing to make my sugar cookies like these?

In addition to the suggestions others have given, you might try this: get a small spray bottle of water and mist the cookies just before you put them in. I don't know how well it will work for sugar cookies, but Thomas Keller suggests it for softer chocolate chip cookies without underbaking, and it works great for that for me.

# ? Sep 20, 2015 19:15

Mr. Wiggles: Dec 1, 2003; We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.

dis astranagant posted:

Peep dat shortstack

Raise.

# ? Sep 20, 2015 20:41

cyberia: Jun 24, 2011; Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

dis astranagant posted:

Peep dat shortstack

Is that a side serving of sausage patties or hockey pucks?

# ? Sep 21, 2015 03:59

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

the key to good eggs is a shitton of butter (foreshadowing)

# ? Sep 21, 2015 07:13

MiddleOne: Feb 17, 2011

If the French have taught me anything it is that more butter is the solution to all of life's problems.

# ? Sep 21, 2015 07:35

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

Xoidanor posted:

If the French have taught me anything it is that more butter is the solution to all of life's problems.

This is true. See, for instance, Last Tango In Paris.

# ? Sep 21, 2015 08:31

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008

therattle posted:

This is true. See, for instance, Last Tango In Paris.

# ? Sep 21, 2015 16:15

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

bloody ghost titty posted:

# ? Sep 21, 2015 18:16

Force de Fappe: Nov 7, 2008

therattle posted:

This is true. See, for instance, Last Tango In Paris.

Likewise but for lard and Caligula.

# ? Sep 21, 2015 21:58

NosmoKing: Nov 12, 2004; I have a rifle and a frying pan and I know how to use them

Happy Hat posted:

I think that american measures are interesting and fun. They are so cutesy and it is nice to know a persons length compared to the size of their feet and their twelvths, or the amount of troy pounds (480 grains - which is based on the mass of a single cereal) that goes into a cake which you then measure the diameter of in feet... because feet and grain and cakes are something that is logically connected.

Wait.. the pound is based on the troy pound, but now you changed it to something else - which we don't know what is, but you changed it because it felt better or something.

So when I measure in american terms I am amused.

And let's not get started on the entire "Let's measure temperature on the scale of how hot it is inside of an average mans rear end", where you would think that 200*F would equal two mans asses, because when 100*F is one man rear end, then twice that should be twice as much... oh no.. Let's not make it so.. We need to confuse the french..

So you have us confounded and amused, and I would like to thank you for it...

In my mind a tablespoon measure is about two ejaculates (one after the other - expect diminishing returns to scale).

Luckily now I know that to figure out what a pint is, all I need is a barrel, and start subdividing by four (because americans have 4 fingers on each hand, not five, which would have given a decimal system).

I need to buy a barrel...

I will begin referring to the temp of my wood fired oven in man-asses.

"Started making pizzas at 9 asses, but was having s challenging time balancing cooking the bottom and the top at the same time evenly. Dropping the temp to 7 or 7.5 asses still gave nice char points but let the toppings cook completely at the same time.

Don't try baking bread until the temp has fallen to at least 5 asses, unless you like sadness and carbon."

# ? Sep 23, 2015 12:51

Marta Velasquez: Mar 9, 2013; Good thing I was feeling suicidal this morning...; Fallen Rib

You should drop the temp to 7 or 8 asses. Don't half-rear end anything.

# ? Sep 23, 2015 13:35

NosmoKing: Nov 12, 2004; I have a rifle and a frying pan and I know how to use them

contrapants posted:

You should drop the temp to 7 or 8 asses. Don't half-rear end anything.

Beauty

# ? Sep 23, 2015 14:11

Drink and Fight: Feb 2, 2003

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

# ? Sep 24, 2015 04:34

Hauki: May 11, 2010

Drink and Fight posted:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Don't troll please.

# ? Sep 24, 2015 05:12

Mr. Wiggles: Dec 1, 2003; We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.

Just giving salsa chicken that spicy Latin kick.

# ? Sep 24, 2015 05:22

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

lol

https://digg.com/2015/boston-man-sunfish

ITS DYING BRO?? BUT ITS TOTALLY GOT MEAT ON IT RIGHT??

# ? Sep 24, 2015 05:35

MiddleOne: Feb 17, 2011

Drink and Fight posted:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

That's beatiful. :allears:

# ? Sep 24, 2015 06:55

bongwizzard: May 19, 2005; Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"; Grimey Drawer

This, from the comments, is worse:

"The sauce is an accent, it's not like pulled pork where the bbq sauce would be the main flavor."

Poor pulled pork :smith:

# ? Sep 24, 2015 13:01

Submarine Sandpaper: May 27, 2007

At least shitposts there are made in ignorance

# ? Sep 24, 2015 17:05

Desetr Eagle: Aug 21, 2015; by Ralp

So i saw this in another thread but I guess it got closed or something, but is it true you can freeze eggs whole to kill salmonella?

# ? Sep 24, 2015 17:18

Mr. Wiggles: Dec 1, 2003; We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.

Mr. Wookums posted:

At least shitposts there are made in ignorance

Yeah. I was excited for the new holiday thread, but the GBS shitposters have ruined it already.

# ? Sep 24, 2015 17:23

Submarine Sandpaper: May 27, 2007

Desetr Eagle posted:

So i saw this in another thread but I guess it got closed or something, but is it true you can freeze eggs whole to kill salmonella?

For what application? If you're prepping eggs for someone who has a compromised immunity or is paranoid you'll want to pasteurize them via sous vide. If you are just worried about salmonella, don't be? The risk is super low even with raw egg and it mostly lives on the shell. IIRC the effectiveness of freezing regarding salmonella and other food pathogens is dependent on how cold the freezer is and how long. There may be a loss of quality after freezing a raw egg and I imagine the shell will crack from expansion.

^^^
Thankfully for now I'm not cooking anything this season.

Submarine Sandpaper fucked around with this message at 17:40 on Sep 24, 2015

# ? Sep 24, 2015 17:34

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Mr. Wiggles posted:

Yeah. I was excited for the new holiday thread, but the GBS shitposters have ruined it already.

Come on, it was literally the OP talking about how their thanksgiving plans were to make traditional thanksgiving dishes and then some jackass posting about how he likes to make exotic sidedishes sometimes like roasted carrots and parsnips (!) :what:

.

I was the only one who offered a good and serious post before it went off the rails...

# ? Sep 24, 2015 17:40

Submarine Sandpaper: May 27, 2007

gently caress off nooner

# ? Sep 24, 2015 17:40

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

Mr. Wookums posted:

gently caress off nooner

# ? Sep 24, 2015 17:46

That Works: Jul 22, 2006; Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy

Nooner actually makes normal posts / questions before getting to the more, uh... interesting ones.

# ? Sep 24, 2015 17:57

Force de Fappe: Nov 7, 2008

Yall bitches chill the gently caress out already or I'mma take one by the neck and beat up the rest with :colbert:

# ? Sep 24, 2015 20:15

Submarine Sandpaper: May 27, 2007

We lost the Holiday thread which makes this the worst holiday season in GWS ever

# ? Sep 24, 2015 20:36

bartolimu: Nov 25, 2002

There is, to my knowledge, no moratorium on future holiday cooking threads. That one just sucked like the vacuum of space.

# ? Sep 24, 2015 20:45

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# ? May 25, 2024 20:58

The Midniter: Jul 9, 2001

bartolimu posted:

There is, to my knowledge, no moratorium on future holiday cooking threads. That one just sucked like the vacuum of space.

Bart, what's your opinion on the influx of GBS shitposters? Obviously it's good to have new blood, and this subforum could use some, but not when it's juvenile idiots mucking up every thread with their inane garbage.

# ? Sep 24, 2015 20:58

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > GWS General Chat: Damn I feel like a boss when I have one in each hand.

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