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Why would you save a red wizard???
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Sep 22, 2015 13:52
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Fart Puzzle posted:So just because I use my magic to conjour shadows and stab people in the back I'm lumped in with fighters? Wow, you'd think the wizard community would be a little bit more tolerant of fellow magic users, I expect to catch the ire of fighters but we have all gone through the same struggle of coming out! Im cool with you guys personally. Some of my best friends are rouges.
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Sep 22, 2015 13:54
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Oh wow so now you're going to tell me that red wizards aren't wizards either? Wow, just wow. Look, maybe after you've been around the dungeon block a few times you'll figure out that having a little versatility in your party is a good thing.
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Sep 22, 2015 13:56
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I know everyone likes to act like they don't need people like me to move and fence the loot but don't bite the hand that feeds. How many health potions do you use on a typical dungeon run? How are you going to make a profit slurping red and blue jello after every fight? I'm in and out like the wind bitch, and I'm not even an elementalist. E: thanks blizzy, I left something for you in that one spot, you know the one. Enjoy friend 
Fart Puzzle fucked around with this message at 14:03 on Sep 22, 2015 |
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Sep 22, 2015 14:01
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My grandparents were on vacation in Rashemen when the red wizards attempted a coup. My grandfather's been permanently disfigured by their magic and I'm having a very difficult time finding a healer that can manage his condition. gently caress red wizards.
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Sep 22, 2015 14:03
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Fart Puzzle posted:I know everyone likes to act like they don't need people like me to move and fence the loot but don't bite the hand that feeds. How many health potions do you use on a typical dungeon run? How are you going to make a profit slurping red and blue jello after every fight? I'm in and out like the wind bitch, and I'm not even an elementalist. Next time we're at the tavern I'll get ya tankard or two. get REAL
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Sep 22, 2015 14:06
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What do you call a fighter too cowardly and weak to face his enemy in the daylight? A: a rogue.
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Sep 22, 2015 14:08
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Applewhite posted:What do you call a fighter too cowardly and weak to face his enemy in the daylight? LMAO you paladins are all the same. I'll be here when you need a trap disarmed.
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Sep 22, 2015 14:11
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Rouges are overpowdered.
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Sep 22, 2015 14:14
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Applewhite posted:What do you call a fighter too cowardly and weak to face his enemy in the daylight? Big talk coming from a paladin who sneaks his way to the halfling whoreshacks in the dead of night.
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Sep 22, 2015 14:24
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AW mad jelly of a touges ability to be fast as gently caress and not be encumbered by lame rear end armour
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Sep 22, 2015 14:34
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Fart Puzzle posted:Big talk coming from a paladin who sneaks his way to the halfling whoreshacks in the dead of night. Paladins don't sneak you must be thinking of a rogue. Blizzy_Cow posted:AW mad jelly of a touges ability to be fast as gently caress and not be encumbered by lame rear end armour It's not an encumbrance if you have upper body strength.
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Sep 22, 2015 14:43
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Whats that gonna do when a wizard turns your armour red hot and cooks you alive homie
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Sep 22, 2015 14:47
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Blizzy_Cow posted:Whats that gonna do when a wizard turns your armour red hot and cooks you alive homie I have magic, too and I would cast a cooling spell. Plus my armor is blessed with runes.
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Sep 22, 2015 14:48
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Applewhite posted:What do you call a fighter too cowardly and weak to face his enemy in the daylight? lmao What do you call a fighter who can't fight? A: a rogue. "Aw poo poo guys I didn't get my sneak attack im fuckng useless now plz save me" *loots everything while everyone else does that fighting* And seriously, if anyone besides your cleric (or heaven forbid paladin) is slurping on those healing potions; you are doing it wrong. Blizzy_Cow posted:No offense man but my pocket being swole with gold is a pretty high calling. And I'd rather not have to call and leave a message to some higher power to know what to do. Yeah it's called the Fireball spell  Dr Cheeto posted:My grandparents were on vacation in Rashemen when the red wizards attempted a coup. My grandfather's been permanently disfigured by their magic and I'm having a very difficult time finding a healer that can manage his condition. I'm sorry for your loss. Red wizards are dicks. Yolomon Wayne posted:Bah, nowadays wizzards is all just fancy lights and stuff. Next time you are in Waterdeep you should check out Pennè and Têller. They do really great stuff like that.
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Sep 22, 2015 14:54
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Holy magic doesn't even have any ice spells dude, I do have this dope rear end ice amulet I stole from Bartholomew's Emporium that I can let you have though. Just uhh, get me back sometime eh?
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Sep 22, 2015 14:55
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Jukeboxblues posted:They are basically just fighters who use bows instead of swords and poo poo. They think they are so far above everyone else because they can befriend an animal (presumably because the animal can't understand how insufferable they can be). Really? Stereotype much? Some of us are just looking to get by man. Just live and let live you know as long as it doesn't conflicts with my interests. I dropped out of college, I really wasn't all that into being a bard. It seemed cool at first. I realized early on unless you wound up becoming one of those hugely well known roving acts that sold out village after village on a nightly basis eventually the chicks and the gold would dry up. I didn't want to end up one of those old fat bards you see playing backwater inns for some ale and a bed. That and faculty at the college felt my charisma just wasn't in it, I just didn't have "it". Really didn't want to go back to the farm either, yes it was a good way for my dad to provide for us but, I wanted something more. I wandered for a bit and took odd jobs and just sort of fell into a career. I eventually started my own business and became an independent contractor. Having worked numerous times with all the classes and races I can honestly say, you are all crazier than a bag of cats. All those classes and races out there with their agendas, biases and fighting over good and evil just leads to more jobs for me. Please keep it up you doofuses, I might be able to retire early. While its sounds cool on the surface being a chaotic neutral human ranger is not all its cracked up to be. Sure I keep my own hours and am my own boss but there are some drawbacks. The clientele and cohorts you get adventure grouped with can leave allot to be desired sometimes too. I'll take their money and share of the loot but some of them are just real douche bags. If I can avoid it at all I try not to work with necromancers. They are the sickest fucks in the realm. If you don't know what i mean then wait until you walk in on one unexpected, no amount of magic can help you unsee that sick poo poo. If I do have to I'll NEVER again make the mistake of referring to myself as a "working stiff" again when they are around, they will never leave you alone if they hear that. Working with Wizards is frustrating often too. You ask for a healing and they get all bent out of shape and pissy, "Dude, can we save the snarky rhetorical "that poo poo is so beneath me" crap for later? I am bleeding out here." Then there's the Paladins, they are overall just loathsome. All the time with the righteous this and moral that, STFU!! already!!! It's just a job man, you think your gods give a crap about what my monthly nut is or what my quarterly net is? No they don't, and they sure as Hades don't do anything for me. The work can sometimes be totally crappy and makes no sense yet often that just leads to more work. One week you are paid to help protect a village, the next you get a gig to help sack the same village. Maybe one month you get paid to keep some guy from killing a bunch of orphans and the next the same guy contracts you to help harvest them. When it works out like that though it makes my job easier, when orphans come running at you arms open wide they make easy targets. As far as using bows only, why wouldn't you? Its more efficient. Using a bow I am more productive I can take out more things, enemies, and baddies over greater distances more quickly. Trust me, if you are paying me for my services you want me dropping the maximum amount of whatevers as quickly as I can, time is money. It's a job why make it harder than it needs to be. You want swords and poo poo go hire a barbarian to wade into the middle of whatever mess you've gotten yourself into, paying for my services however is a better value. I wouldn't say that I've ever had an animal "befriend" me. Sure I get along most of them OK and horses and dogs just seem to be drawn to me. I've always chalked that up as part of being a ranger. Being out in the wilderness as much as you are in this job you don't get to bathe as often as you probably should. It's the smell more than anything that has animals interested in us. Its not that we think "are so far above everyone else", its more like we just stink to the high heavens. If I had regular access to a bath and some soap critters would be running from me like they do everyone else. Finally the spells thing... I tend not to use them because they backfire as often as they work. Is it magic? I don't think so, I'd call it karma at best. I have one spell though that I am really good at and works every time. I can cast "Stank of Unholy Thunder Bottom" beautifully, sometimes I can even clear a tomb with it. I am glad you came out as a wizard and all but dude.. You are little judgmental at the same time you are expect us all to just blanket accept you. I guess you can't help it, entitlement is just a wizard thing. Oh and Skeleton King. Nothing personal man, its just business. Next time if you want I'll give you heads up for an additional 30% more than I get offered to help kick your rear end and take your crap. Ziptar fucked around with this message at 15:12 on Sep 22, 2015 |
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Sep 22, 2015 14:58
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Look, man, I don't come to you and tell you that a wizard is just a sorcerer who leans a spellbook.
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Sep 22, 2015 15:03
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I saw a skeleton at the shop the other day and the only thing I could think was "gurrrrl, you need to eat a sandwich or something."
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Sep 22, 2015 15:06
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Applewhite posted:I saw a skeleton at the shop the other day and the only thing I could think was "gurrrrl, you need to eat a sandwich or something." Sure it's not some elf or something? They are way too skinny for humanoids.
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Sep 22, 2015 15:07
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Ziptar posted:Really? Stereotype much? Some of us are... If you want to kill things effeciently from a range just be a Wizard. Or is your INT too low or something? 
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Sep 22, 2015 15:10
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Jukeboxblues posted:
If thats the establishment i think it is, theyre pulling things out of places that would make wizards go cry in a corner...
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Sep 22, 2015 15:12
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Jukeboxblues posted:If you want to kill things effeciently from a range just be a Wizard. Or is your INT too low or something? My INT plenty high enough, got a head for business and not hokey enchanted parlor tricks is all. As far as the length of my post goes you just illustrated my point for me. Typical Wizard... You started this thread out with your whole coming out tome...  With expectation that it be read word for word yet you get on someone else for being wordy. Expectation and entitlement or in other words... A wizard. That's the problem with you wizards and why we all have to deal with the unintended consequences of your actions. You start into a book of spells and enchantments and then get all TLDR and leave behind a trail of fallout from your half assed casts for the rest of us to deal with. Efficient from a range? Doubtful.. Yeah you might be good for pulling a few long distance lightning bolts out of yer rear end but, how many like 4 or 7? The most you can ever hope for is 20 in a day, then you are tapped out, totally. For the remainder of the day you are a pedestrian, a burden and liability to everyone else in the party. You will never make it up in volume like I can with a bow and a few quivers of arrows. Good luck with that horde of orcs coming at you.   
Ziptar fucked around with this message at 15:51 on Sep 22, 2015 |
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Sep 22, 2015 15:27
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Applewhite posted:I saw a skeleton at the shop the other day and the only thing I could think was "gurrrrl, you need to eat a sandwich or something." Stop Trolling.
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Sep 22, 2015 15:48
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Ziptar posted:My INT plenty high enough, got a head for business and not hokey enchanted parlor tricks is all. lol if you think killing 4 dudes at once is not efficient. lol if you dont cone of cold. Also, what are you going to do if your bow get destroyed by an acid dragon or you run out of arrows? I'm sure you will be a great help to everyone with your repugnant stench and your ability to tell everyone how if you had infinite time and chances to hit things you would be so cool right now. I think I will stick to being a Wizard thanks. We also get free dental.
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Sep 22, 2015 15:49
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lol if you don't have a bunch of lackeys to kill poo poo for you while you read grimoires and poo poo. they know not to disturb me unless my fireball's going to catch at least 5 or 6 monsters (counting the rogue maybe haha)`
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Sep 22, 2015 15:53
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VendaGoat posted:Stop Trolling. Apologies to any trolls posting on these boards, bridge or otherwise
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Sep 22, 2015 15:54
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"free dental" See! More entitlement... Meanwhile the rest of us have to pay for ours and probably subsidize yours. I doubt a broken bow and running out of arrows is a problem, when you deal with real professional. Any nimrod that has his bow destroyed or runs out of arrows deserves to be put out of business or the equivalent, become a rouge.
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Sep 22, 2015 15:58
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Ziptar posted:"free dental" See! More entitlement... Meanwhile the rest of us have to pay for ours and probably subsidize yours. you want to talk entitlement lets talk about free bread and water
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Sep 22, 2015 16:01
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The Goatfather posted:you want to talk entitlement lets talk about free bread and water Per Diem is standard in any contract.
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Sep 22, 2015 16:17
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Would it be wise to have a werewolf follow the party to help us in some really hairy situations? Or should I just melt his insides and wear his eolf pelt like a kick rear end robe?
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Sep 22, 2015 16:24
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I'm really getting pretty peeved with you guys making GBS threads on rogues. There are a number of people who get into it for the wrong reasons, and they're admittedly worthless in a dungeon. Next time, try an accredited, professional rogue such as myself. Trap removal, trap installment, lockpicking, poisonings, reconnaissance, and brutally debilitating strikes are just some of the services licensed rogues offer. There is no real replacement for the variety or types of skills rogues bring to a party, we add a heck of a lot of value to any adventuring troupe Applewhite can vouch for me, I provided my services to the party that cleared the Crypt of Eternal Dread with him.
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Sep 22, 2015 16:28
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Hey guys my Psionic died  I believe in re-rolling though and have re-rolled as a Witch. The problem is I am a guy. How do I come out to my party as a male Witch? I wanna do it on my terms because I'm worried at some point soon they will notice I am using Hex's not just normal daily spell casts.
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Sep 22, 2015 16:30
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Dr Cheeto posted:Applewhite can vouch for me, I provided my services to the party that cleared the Crypt of Eternal Dread with him. How often did you smite his codpiece?
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Sep 22, 2015 16:37
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Gridlocked posted:Hey guys my Psionic died A male witch is called a warlock and there are lots of them. Don't sweat it. If your party loves you they will understand.
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Sep 22, 2015 16:41
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Ziptar posted:Really? Stereotype much? Some of us are just looking to get by man. Oh my gods! The only class more insufferable than a wizard is a ranger! "Look at me I can talk to animals and fight without getting close!" It's pathetic! You're all weak and cowardly. What happens when your lovely bow breaks or you run out of arrows? Do call on an animal to fight for you? Of course not because THERE ARE NO FOREST ANIMALS IN DUNGEONS, DIP poo poo! So the rest of the party has to carry you and you whine about your cut of the loot even though you stopped contributing 10 minutes into the adventure. Even rouges are more useful! At least they know a couple spells to help out when things turn sour. Unlike you, they know what skills are useful in dungeoneering and will detect traps for the party. Go back to the woods with those leaf smoking elves! No one wants you in their party! 
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Sep 22, 2015 16:57
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Applewhite posted:A male witch is called a warlock and there are lots of them. Don't sweat it. If your party loves you they will understand. Or just start calling yourself Caitlyn and insist everyone in the party do the same.
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Sep 22, 2015 16:57
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at what point does friendly fire become a felony? hey maybe don't walk in front of me when I'm harnessing the destructive power of loving lightning, am I right? this loving sucks. asking for a friend.
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Sep 22, 2015 17:11
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How do you guys keep your familiar out of your trinkets and other magical curiosities? My demonic Owl Parrot won't stop eating all the eyes of newt and severed elf ears I've collected over the years.
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Sep 22, 2015 17:41
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Sep 22, 2015 17:42
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