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Knyteguy posted:My name is Knyteguy. I work in software and I have a wife who works in reception and a 7-month old son. My short term family goals are increasing my salary, and starting a successful new side business. My long term goals are moving to Silicon Valley/Seattle to jump start my career, getting out of debt, running a business full time ensuring I can pay for my child's college tuition, investing a ton of our spare income, and stretch goal owning a house and FI. In order to achieve these goals, I will try to figure out how to get a degree for free, do work on side businesses in my free time, follow some sort of budget. The things I value are being near and spending time with family, providing a comfortable life for my child, ensuring that my child's educational needs are met in the absolute best manner possible, and living reasonably comfortably in the present. Things my family has currently done towards these goals are interviewing for a better job, starting several new side businesses, wife got a new job. Things I could work better on are having realistic goals, not failing my budget goals by ensuring that my budget goals are moderate to start, not treating windfalls as free money/relying on them as income. It's been needed for a while but you do need to use a budget as a tool rather than ignoring it. Moderate and realistic goals are good but a budget is a living document to be updated to accommodate what is going on financially. Especially setting aside money for purchases. Referring to a budget through the month would help you month sure you are on track, and everyone needs to check to see if they are reaching their goals. The whole purpose being to enable you to make a decision to not spend on something because you need the money to go towards something else. Your goals are more realistic but you might be helped by setting some tangible small financial goals. Instead of paying off all your debt or saving for a house or whatever put down a small monthly goal. It's easier to achieve on a monthly or daily basis than thinking 2 years out.
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Sep 23, 2015 04:18
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Knyteguy posted:It's about judging myself. I could save a ton of money living at home with mom or grandma, but why would I do that? Part of growing up is becoming independent. Now if I or someone else had to that would be different. I mean seriously, do you use any of your appliances 24/7? Even your car? It's just dumb that we DON'T live at home longer, and use the power of pooled resources to get more for everybody in the process. But that's not our culture these days, and for some stupid reason people feel like "failures" unless they do the stupid thing and piss away their money and mortgage their future leisure for the sake of "independence". I dunno. Being saddled by debt and having to work until you're 70 doesn't seem very independent to me. Not being able to afford staying home full time with a baby doesn't seem very independent. We've accepted the illusion of independence at a very high cost. And the 0.1% keep getting richer. Knyteguy posted:The car choice has nothing to do with being a "man". I think people who can practically KEY WORD HERE get around on their bikes are cool, personally. I didn't like not being independent, and I chose a car I wanted to drive. I like the power; I couldn't care less what it looks like. Knyteguy posted:RWD snow - yeah I thought about this. I drove a 2004 RWD G35 Coupe around for a couple years through some bad snowstorms though, and it went fine though on stock tires. But, I'll post about this some more in a bit. You wanted a fast car for yourself. For you. It has nothing to do with the baby. You wanted it and you got it. Just like you wanted a PS4. Knyteguy posted:OF have you had your baby yet? What's there to be tired of!? How long are you home before your wife gets home? Don't you both have 9-5 jobs? Your whole reason for getting the car was that you were tired of being stranded at home without transportation. Most of the things you listed are easily handled with better planning. Spending $2000 plus $40/mo plus maintenance is a ridiculous plan for "emergencies". Knyteguy posted:Good god man just wait. I've woken up no less than 3 times a night for the past 5 days to the worst screaming you've ever heard. Knyteguy posted:It's not all playing either there's times where he's biting, screaming, crying, having projectile poop, and peeing all over me all at once. It's great, and at the same time it's also absolutely tiring. It's not the fact that you decided you needed a second family car. It's the way you went about it, the bullshit justifications you gave, and your defensiveness. If you wanted a cool car project for yourself, you should have budgeted and planned for it. I mean, gently caress, the whole reason for this thread is because you make impulsive stupid decisions. Everybody here can see this pattern and can see how this purchase fits right in it. But this is far more difficult to return than a PS4. Nobody is saying you can't have a car. What we're saying is that when you keep justifying dipping into your savings for the toy of the month, you'll never reach your goals.
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Sep 23, 2015 04:44
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Knyteguy posted:OK well it has comprehensive and collision. It sounds like I should drop the collision? I'll let Old Fart handle the rest, because he is saying what I'm too lazy to do. Thanks, Old Fart!
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Sep 23, 2015 04:53
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Knyteguy posted:
I think it is really good that you're thinking about the things you value and the things you want for your (and your family's) future. I, personally, don't actually care what your goals are as long as they're not completely loving stupid, but I do think you're relying a lot on the idea of "I will soon make A LOT MORE MONEY" without actually having a backup plan for what to do if that doesn't happen -- similar to how you were so gungho about becoming FI for the longest time, until finally realizing "actually that's just not feasible right now". Devian666's suggestion of setting some short-term goals is really good. We were talking about SMART goals in the Blue Story thread, do you think they might help? Not only financial ones, but ones related to your side projects and career stuff too. It looks to me like your priority is "make more money" instead of "spend less money". I really think you should be more seriously prioritizing both because you absolutely should not be counting your chickens before they hatch. You're already making a decent amount of money (and seriously, 100k in the Bay Area does not go nearly as far as you're thinking it does). Do you really think you wouldn't grow your spending if your income grew as well? You already grow your spending to break the budget every time you increase it.
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Sep 23, 2015 05:04
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Old Fart posted:I mean, gently caress, the whole reason for this thread is because you make impulsive stupid decisions. Everybody here can see this pattern and can see how this purchase fits right in it. But this is far more difficult to return than a PS4. This behaviour is the issue and KG is resisting the habit change to control spending. Changing the impulse spending habit should be the actual stated goal.
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Sep 23, 2015 05:05
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I feel like I came off a little too harshly. You seem like a nice guy, and I want you to succeed. It's not like I'm perfect, either. It's just hard for me to see you operate with this huge blind spot. Be well, dude.
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Sep 23, 2015 05:15
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Fixing a flat on a bike is stupidly easy, dude.Henrik Zetterberg posted:I have 3 kids and drive a WRX just fine. A Camaro is fine, assuming the maintenance isn't significantly higher than a 'regular' car. A WRX is much more practical for families (particularly babies) than a Camaro. il serpente cosmico fucked around with this message at 06:23 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 06:18
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You do not need to carry collision on a $2000 car that if you wreck it, it will probably be totaled and you'll get paid out $1500 a best. You don't need to spend $600 per year for the off chance that you total it in the next few years. IMHO the fact that you bought a Camaro is far worse than the fact that you decided to buy a $2000 car without setting money aside for it. Buying a car without money set aside is impulsive, but buying a 'muscle car' is just flat out selfish. You could have bought a reliable older sedan for somewhere in that range of money that was cheap to insure and easy to fix. The car would have been great for you to take the kid when needed, and when the main car is in the shop it could have taken over duties as the primary car. Instead you buy a car because it was the fastest thing you could find for the $2000 you all of a sudden decided you could spend. It will get bad gas mileage, have hard to replace parts (google replacing spark plugs on these things), and I bet it can't fit the 3 of you in it all at once. I think you really should reflect on how both the oculus and the car purchases reflect upon you as a person. If you had $2400 to give to a young family, would you be happy if they bought a 1995 camaro and an oculus rift with that money? Do you see how these two purchases do not reflect well on you? You should sell the car (mark it up and make a profit, clean it up well and take some nice pics) and return the oculus.
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Sep 23, 2015 06:27
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A camaro? Really? You already have one corolla, why not a 1995 corolla too? I mean the things are like cockroaches, they never die.I did something similar just recently. I remembered liking driving a whole lot when I had my first miata. I was in my mid-20's with no family and had a blast. I sold it and pined for that car again for 7 years. I got another one after selling a very practical hatchback. You know what happened? I had grown up and stopped giving a poo poo about driving something that can only be sporty. I missed the practicality of the hatchback because I'd grown and changed since my mid-20's. I ended up selling it for a subaru impreza hatchback and I couldn't be happier. It's a boring, gold econobox and it's perfect for where I am in my life. I get that you were trying to buck the life and responsibility you now have with this car, but really, it's just a car, you have to be the change you want to see in your life. Things don't change who you are. My Dad has done something similar to your oculus purchase too. He wanted a really bitchin drone, then started thinking about business plans with it afterwards, to justify it. He makes a shitload of money and they own their house outright so my Mom and I tell him just to fly it and play with it instead of ruining a hobby by making it a business. For you, I doubt you'll want to spend 8-10 hours a day programming and then come home and do more with a screaming poo poo factory running around. I knew I wanted nothing to do with programming after coming home from work doing it. You wanted a toy for you, don't bullshit us. BloodBag fucked around with this message at 12:26 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 12:22
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You spent more on toys this month than Blue Story spent on Star Wars and phones. And you planned for them just as well.
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Sep 23, 2015 14:26
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Old Fart posted:I feel like I came off a little too harshly. You seem like a nice guy, and I want you to succeed. It's not like I'm perfect, either. It's just hard for me to see you operate with this huge blind spot. Be well, dude. I think everyone has a void left from blue story being on hold, and all that rage needs to go somewhere.
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Sep 23, 2015 15:08
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Old Fart posted:Well, this whole idea of the "nuclear family" is a crock. It's the modern era snake oil. This way giant corporations get to sell everybody a washing machine, oven, refrigerator, lawnmower, etc. They invented this poo poo and then when every household got one, they invented new "need" for more. Banks get to sell more mortgages. Car companies get to sell more cars. If multiple generations live in the same household as we did for millennia before 1950, then there go those sweet sweet profits. Interesting article on your top points as I was doing some research: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201212/breaking-free-the-myth-independence. I think it's just an opinion piece, but it is Psychology Today. We have all fit in the car. I can consider selling it. I bought some new mirrors and I was going to run it through a service this weekend (tranny fluid change, oil change, tire balance). I tend to feel inhibited over the months of savings that lead to these little splurges. I do justify this car, but it also does follow the pattern. That's something I need to work on. See my plan of action below. Horking Delight posted:I think it is really good that you're thinking about the things you value and the things you want for your (and your family's) future. I, personally, don't actually care what your goals are as long as they're not completely loving stupid, but I do think you're relying a lot on the idea of "I will soon make A LOT MORE MONEY" without actually having a backup plan for what to do if that doesn't happen -- similar to how you were so gungho about becoming FI for the longest time, until finally realizing "actually that's just not feasible right now". I'd wager it's more probable than not (Deflategate folks) that I'll make more money in the coming years. Maybe not though? I'll just plan with what we currently have instead ya? Here's my new goals thing: My name is Knyteguy. I work in software and I have a wife who works in reception and a 7-month old son. My short term family goals are increasing my salary, and starting a successful new side business. My long term goals are moving to Silicon Valley/Seattle to jump start my career, getting out of debt, running a business full time, ensuring I can pay for my child's college tuition, investing a ton of our spare income, and stretch goal owning a house and FI. In order to achieve these goals, I will try to figure out how to get a degree for free, do work on side businesses in my free time, follow some sort of budget. The things I value are being near and spending time with family, providing a comfortable life for my child, ensuring that my child's educational needs are met in the absolute best manner possible, and living reasonably comfortably in the present. Things my family has currently done towards these goals are interviewing for a better job, starting several new side businesses, wife got a new job. Things I could work better on are having realistic goals, not failing my budget goals by ensuring that my budget goals are moderate to start, not treating windfalls as free money/relying on them as income, and curbing impulse purchases by budgeting for wants in advance if I choose to want them. Another thing I will work better on is not spending allocated savings and debt reduction money on anything [continued] To meet my debt reduction and savings/investments goals my plan of action will be to move the money out of our checking account into a separate savings account with another bank as soon as our paychecks deposit. Since I have reliable paychecks on salary, I will allocate $420 towards debt reduction or savings every 9th of the month, and $510 every 22nd of the month ($30/day saved). My new target emergency fund goal is $5,000, which would buy us over 3-6 months (educated guess) of time in the event of a single job loss, or about a month of time in the event of a double job loss. At a rate of $930/mo of debt reduction, the car will be paid off in 15-20 months, the student loans will be paid off in another 5-6 months, and my wife's grandmother will be paid off in 1.5 months. I can be debt free in 2.5 years using this strategy. After this point I will allocate a similar if not greater amount PLUS the money freed from debt and any potential income growth towards investments to grow my money and get some passive income going (which will be reinvested). In a nutshell I will maintain our current standard of living despite more income or free money from less debt as we are able to. I modified the top paragraph as well. What do you guys think? Basically if I want something fun or whatever this system will allow me to do that, without hurting our actual savings and debt reduction to do so. 20 months with this strategy: 
Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 17:09 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 16:48
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Knyteguy posted:My name is Knyteguy. I work in software and I have a wife who works in reception and a 7-month old son. My short term family goals are increasing my salary, and starting a How do you reconcile wanting to move to Silicon valley with being near and spending time with family?
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Sep 23, 2015 16:57
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Pfox posted:How do you reconcile wanting to move to Silicon valley with being near and spending time with family? It's only 4 hours from Reno. That's an easy day trip whenever we want. It's not ideal, but if I could get into SV for a couple years to get some names on the resume as recommended, it would really help me out back here at home.
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Sep 23, 2015 17:03
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How much will you be putting towards tax-advantaged retirement savings under this plan? Edit: Also, not to sound (too) condescending but yes, your budget should always make progress towards your goals based on your current income, not what you hope your income to be in the future. Colin Mockery fucked around with this message at 17:06 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 17:03
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Knyteguy posted:Interesting article on your top points as I was doing some research: [url="https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:JYV5YS5KMN4J:https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201212/breaking-free-the-myth-independence+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us"]Article Link[/url]. Write down when you will be debt free. Not as a point relative to now, but as a fixed point in time. Looking at above you will be debt free in 26 months? (or 27.5?) 26 months from now is November of 2017. Run this model every month, incorporating what you actually did toward debt reduction. Calculate your absolute date in the same way. When you do well the date should stay fixed. When you can't resist unlimited breadsticks, or the Call of the Mulllet, your absolute date will advance into the future.
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Sep 23, 2015 17:03
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Horking Delight posted:How much will you be putting towards tax-advantaged retirement savings under this plan? We're maxing my wife's 401k, so it'll be like we never have that money. Beyond that nothing until we're out of debt. I have ~$900 in VFINX right now in the HSA. Little tidbit: I tried when I got this job to automatically deposit 40% of my paychecks into a separate non-checking savings account. Our deposit system at work was unable to do it unless it was with BofA, but the CHEX system or whatever didn't allow me to open an account there (which I rectified a couple years ago). God if I could have done that. Anyway my point of this tidbit is I think it'll help to hide money from myself. I've seen it mentioned on here countless times, but I was stubborn and wanted my 2.5% checking interest. Dwight Eisenhower posted:Write down when you will be debt free. Not as a point relative to now, but as a fixed point in time. Looking at above you will be debt free in 26 months? (or 27.5?) 26 months from now is November of 2017. Hm well using that picture I edited in, it looks like it's 20 months from now. May of 2017? That's what it looks like if I can stick to the plan. The call of the mullet is strong in me.  Btw guys we eat at Olive Garden maybe once a year  .Edit: removed collision from the Camaro. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 17:24 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 17:16
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Knyteguy, thanks for answering my post. I actually figured outside life stress had you coming back defensive and unhappy. Above all, I hope it's stuff that is in the past and your life is getting better. I hope all's well, for real, more than anything else. You seem to be introspecting okay, so I want to challenge you to really take in the car criticism at some point. If you're still stressed, save your posts with the justifications and a few of the responses you think nailed you on your reasoning, and get to them later. Whenever you can honestly engage and it won't leave you feeling like poo poo or dismissing them out of hand. Two main questions: were these problems worth solving now without budgeting? And did you find other cars in that 2k range that were more family-friendly, or winter safe, etc. but less fun and sexy? Why do you think you went for this car over those, or if this was truly the only car this cheap while still being reliable with your connections, would you have gone for the $2k minivan if one was available? What's done is done, but as you (and the thread) have identified, there's a pattern here. I'm hoping it's useful to approach it like this. You should approach the Occulus the same way. I have NO background in coding or technology, so I'm trusting you to answer honestly: was there coding work you'll need to do anyway you could have done first? To find out if it only engages you for a week until the newness wears off, or if now's not the time with a 7month old, while also letting you save up a budget category to buy it with. Duckman2008 posted:I think everyone has a void left from blue story being on hold, and all that rage needs to go somewhere. Basically. I think reading the Blue Story thread carries over. It will change a reader. As I'm reading the updates here I'm trying to figure out how much I'm engaging Knyteguy based on her instead of two years of reading his thread. I am also counting down the days until it's back so I can effort-post at her the thread was closed already when I caught up and I want to poke the burning pile of trash.
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Sep 23, 2015 17:35
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KG, do you wear jean jackets and listen to Billy Squier?il serpente cosmico posted:A WRX is much more practical for families (particularly babies) than a Camaro. Yeah, I didn't realize the back seat was so un-accommodating until someone posted the pictures. It now seems like a silly choice for a family car.
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Sep 23, 2015 17:49
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Knyteguy posted:It's only 4 hours from Reno. That's an easy day trip whenever we want. It's not ideal, but if I could get into SV for a couple years to get some names on the resume as recommended, it would really help me out back here at home. How far were you living from your mother when you made the decision to move into the same neighborhood?
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Sep 23, 2015 17:59
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Henrik Zetterberg posted:KG, do you wear jean jackets and listen to Billy Squier? Hell no, man I don't listen to that crap! I'm a rocker, dude through and through. Here's my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen, not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Lep. It's not really intended to be a family car. It's an emergency car for needing to drive the boy around when necessary, and other than that it's my fun errand and commute car. Going on two weeks I've driven it about 100 miles, and the majority of that was going to that concert with my friend. That's what the car is for (I would have been an hour late if I had to wait for my wife to get home to use the car). If you guys want to designate it as a toy that's fine, but it's a toy that gives me a whole lot practical life improvements. Here's my 5'11.5" legs sitting in the back passenger seat. It's not the most comfortable thing in the world, but it works.  Especially because I'm selling one of my toys to pay for the thing (sand rail project). Anyway I'm done arguing the car for a little bit. I'll give it some more thought April posted:How far were you living from your mother when you made the decision to move into the same neighborhood? April that was one of many justifications to move. You know that. And to answer your question: about an hour. We're not in the same neighborhood either. Using this example also totally negates the fact that I'm a few miles from work, and our living area choices were binary with a pregnant wife who wasn't allowed to ride a bike, and a single car. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 18:22 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 18:14
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Old Greg posted:Knyteguy, thanks for answering my post. I actually figured outside life stress had you coming back defensive and unhappy. Above all, I hope it's stuff that is in the past and your life is getting better. I hope all's well, for real, more than anything else. I couldn't read the Blue Story thread. I still think it's a total sham despite some t-shirts saying otherwise. Where there's smoke there's fire and there was a lot of smoke there. As you said I'll need some time to think on this. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 18:27 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 18:18
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Pfox posted:How do you reconcile wanting to move to Silicon valley with being near and spending time with family?
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Sep 23, 2015 18:23
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Just remember - getting a job in Silicon Valley or Seattle is probably going to mean working 50-60 hour weeks (plus commutes). Since you couldn't handle being stuck at work for an extra hour to wait for a car ride each day I'm not sure if this aligns to your goals. I recently got a job offer from Amazon in Seattle and turned it down even though it was a substantial raise. 1.) Rent is about $2,000-$2,500 a month for a studio in the city 2.) Rent is about $1600 a month outside the city but it's a 45 - 60 minute commute 3.) They work A LOT (even though I work about 60 hours a week right now, ugh) 4.) We would be moving pretty far away from family You continue to have misaligned goals and will continue to be unhappy and impulsive if you can't figure that poo poo out. Bugamol fucked around with this message at 18:28 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 18:25
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Knyteguy posted:
There are always many justifications to whatever you do. You also said that you needed to be closer to your mother because she was having difficulties with depression, if I recall correctly, and you thought that being close to her was more important than whatever money you'd save by staying in the apartment. I'm not saying it wasn't, but I'm saying that now, you're pretty much saying the exact opposite, to justify whatever you're planning to blow money on next. You also said that living there meant you'd only need one car. Again, I'm not saying that was right or wrong, but you have no idea how frustrating it is when you change your needs & goals every couple of months and don't bother to tell any of the people who have been trying to help you meet the goals that are now outdated. The car's just the latest example. Planning to move to a much more expensive area is another one of those things that's not in line with everything else you claim to want, but you're going to have a whole bunch of reasons to justify it.
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Sep 23, 2015 18:34
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Bugamol posted:Just remember - getting a job in Silicon Valley or Seattle is probably going to mean working 50-60 hour weeks (plus commutes). Since you couldn't handle being stuck at work for an extra hour to wait for a car ride each day I'm not sure if this aligns to your goals. To be fair, it's entirely possible to get a nice studio for <$1200 in Seattle. Amazon's an INTENSE place to work though, not exactly a ton of long-timers.
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Sep 23, 2015 18:37
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Knyteguy posted:Hm well using that picture I edited in, it looks like it's 20 months from now. May of 2017? That's what it looks like if I can stick to the plan. That tool doesn't look totally unreasonable so maybe it is 20 months. Let's say your current plan gets you debt free in May 2017. The important part is to attach feedback to your actions in the present, so you can see how what you do impacts your goal. As you make additional payments of $930 that May 2017 goal should continue to be the answer the tool gives you. If you fail to be disciplined, and move that debt reduction amount to other things you should see that May 2017 goal slip. Use the information about balances that arrives in statements from the student loans and car loan as they provide it and plug it into that calculator every month. If the calculator is a little wrong that's fine, the important point is using some consistent process. You have a means (paying $930 / month) and a goal (being debt free on some date). Don't mistake the debt payments for a goal, remember that they are the means by which you achieve your goal, and continually track your progress toward that goal. It will help you keep on track. If you do this, you will weigh your decisions against your goal (debt free by May 2017). This is better than making decisions against an action that doesn't have consequences you can feel in the present apart from having $930 fewer to budget with.
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Sep 23, 2015 18:41
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Bugamol posted:Just remember - getting a job in Silicon Valley or Seattle is probably going to mean working 50-60 hour weeks (plus commutes). Since you couldn't handle being stuck at work for an extra hour to wait for a car ride each day I'm not sure if this aligns to your goals. Also, average rent for a 1br in Seattle is ~$1600/month: https://www.rentjungle.com/average-rent-in-seattle-rent-trends/ Cicero fucked around with this message at 18:49 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 18:45
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The rumor mill tells me that Amazon's offers are very front-loaded and there's not much room for growth. That's not very appealing to me but YMMV. It still seems okay as a place to go as a stepping stone if they are offering you a raise, but I probably wouldn't move to Seattle with no connections there just for that.
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Sep 23, 2015 19:14
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Bugamol posted:Just remember - getting a job in Silicon Valley or Seattle is probably going to mean working 50-60 hour weeks (plus commutes). Since you couldn't handle being stuck at work for an extra hour to wait for a car ride each day I'm not sure if this aligns to your goals. I was stuck for 2 extra hours (Posted more below) April posted:There are always many justifications to whatever you do. You also said that you needed to be closer to your mother because she was having difficulties with depression, if I recall correctly, and you thought that being close to her was more important than whatever money you'd save by staying in the apartment. Fair enough. My goals have been figuratively moving, and I've done a poor job of both realizing that myself, and keeping all of you informed. I'll do another version of that goals statement sometime today to trim the fat so to speak. You guys all give some good points on the SV/Seattle thing. Perhaps that's a pipe dream as well, and also perhaps not. I'll give it some more thought. Dwight Eisenhower posted:That tool doesn't look totally unreasonable so maybe it is 20 months. Let's say your current plan gets you debt free in May 2017. One thing I was doing when we were hardcore saving on groceries was writing big notes for myself and taping them places ("waste is anathema"). Now some of our goals were stupid and unsustainable back then, but I'll do this again for this particular goal. I'll print out my goals again too. I'm definitely open to reading more on the SV and Seattle debate as I think more about it. Aside: I just asked my boss for a job title change, and I got it. My new title is Software Engineer. It may increase the amount of LinkedIn bites I get. Plus it feels a little more prestigious to say that than "Software and Web Developer" when I'm interviewing, I'd imagine. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 19:20 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 19:18
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Something else that needs to be said that I don't think has been reiterated enough is that thinking about things is NOT the same as planning for them. You thought about buying a car for months, but did not actually plan in terms of adjusting your budget, saving up, researching your options, etc. Same with the Oculus Rift. You think about things, and call it planning. I can see you getting ready to do the same thing with regard to moving. You'll think about it for a while, not actually make any preparations, then pull the trigger.
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Sep 23, 2015 19:21
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Knyteguy posted:One thing I was doing when we were hardcore saving on groceries was writing big notes for myself and taping them places ("waste is anathema"). Now some of our goals were stupid and unsustainable back then, but I'll do this again for this particular goal. I'll print out my goals again too. Good move, just remember to keep it up to date. Also, after lurking this thread for months I want to call out one thing. Knyteguy posted:My name is Knyteguy. I work in software and I have a wife who works in reception and a 7-month old son. My short term family goals are increasing my salary, and starting a successful new side business. My long term goals are moving to Silicon Valley/Seattle to jump start my career, getting out of debt, running a business full time, ensuring I can pay for my child's college tuition, investing a ton of our spare income, and stretch goal owning a house and FI. In order to achieve these goals, I will try to figure out how to get a degree for free, do work on side businesses in my free time, follow some sort of budget. The things I value are being near and spending time with family, providing a comfortable life for my child, ensuring that my child's educational needs are met in the absolute best manner possible, and living reasonably comfortably in the present. Things my family has currently done towards these goals are interviewing for a better job, starting several new side businesses, wife got a new job. Things I could work better on are having realistic goals, not failing my budget goals by ensuring that my budget goals are moderate to start, not treating windfalls as free money/relying on them as income, and curbing impulse purchases by budgeting for wants in advance if I choose to want them. Another thing I will work better on is not spending allocated savings and debt reduction money on anything I've highlighted two things that look logically contradictory to me. I look at them as contradictory because you spend a good deal of time talking about your involvement with your extended family. Moving several hours away will absolutely reduce the amount of time you spend with your extended family. Can you see how these things seem contradictory? Is there a coherent with the world way to look at these two goals which does not make them contradictory? Can you explain it to another person? Is there something you can change about the goals and means to achieve them you have stated such that your goals do not contradict each other?
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Sep 23, 2015 19:30
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Cicero posted:You're exaggerating. Plenty of places in the bay area or Seattle work normal hours. I usually worked 40/week at Amazon including lunch. Most of the people on my team and nearby teams worked normal hours. I work 40/week including lunch now at Google. It can vary a lot by team, but it'd be much more accurate to say that you might work 50-60 hour weeks in the bay area or Seattle (if you go to an early-stage startup that becomes a lot more likely). Your experience has been our experience as well. The big thing is you've got to set your own boundaries. Manager wants you to work Saturday? Tell them to gently caress off unless it's legitimately something you hosed up on and need to catch up and finish. Husband has been with 4 different divisions over 9 years and any time it looks like some director wants to make a name, just skate out into another division. I would say don't move unless you hate Reno though. It sounds like being near family is important to you and no one wants to drive 4 hours for a day trip with a kid in the car. We have nephews that are 2 hours away and because the whole trip with ferries is such a pain in the rear end we only see them for major holidays. Oh and that's not to mention the fact that because your kid has been strapped in the car for 4 hours, that as soon as you release them they are cranky little assholes who want to destroy everything in sight and then they cry like banshees as soon as you threaten to strap them back in. This when on until about the age of 6. silicone thrills fucked around with this message at 20:04 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 19:56
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You have 2 adults, 1 small child, and what, 2 dogs and 2 cats? And you want a yard? The rent increase alone will probably be 1-2k a month, and that's not counting needing to pay for childcare (since you won't have family around to look after him). And the commute will probably be at least half an hour, probably an hour.
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Sep 23, 2015 20:28
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Dwight Eisenhower posted:Good move, just remember to keep it up to date. Also, after lurking this thread for months I want to call out one thing.
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Sep 23, 2015 20:31
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The contradiction is "move 4 hours away from extended family (mother, sister, cousins)" and "regularly see extended family", remembering that the latter was so important to him that he broke his lease and took on a more expensive one in order to move next to his mother, because she needed the emotional support.
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Sep 23, 2015 20:59
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Can you give a full breakdown of your wife's last paystub?
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Sep 23, 2015 21:40
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Tigntink posted:Your experience has been our experience as well. The big thing is you've got to set your own boundaries. Manager wants you to work Saturday? Tell them to gently caress off unless it's legitimately something you hosed up on and need to catch up and finish. Husband has been with 4 different divisions over 9 years and any time it looks like some director wants to make a name, just skate out into another division. Well I'm sure Amazon varies greatly by department but they made it pretty clear during the interview process that they stack rank and it's pretty much required to work 50+ hour weeks to not end up at the bottom of that pool. Maybe it's different for programmers. I work in finance. Also we looked at places to live and if I wanted to be <30 minute commute (granted Amazon is downtown Seattle). Rent was easily north of $1750-$2000 for studio apartments. Just browsing craigslists the ones that are in actual Seattle and not "Seattle Area" are all $1750+, but I don't live there so I'm in no way an expert. Bugamol fucked around with this message at 22:26 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 22:23
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Cicero posted:You're exaggerating. Plenty of places in the bay area or Seattle work normal hours. I usually worked 40/week at Amazon including lunch. Most of the people on my team and nearby teams worked normal hours. I work 40/week including lunch now at Google. It can vary a lot by team, but it'd be much more accurate to say that you might work 50-60 hour weeks in the bay area or Seattle (if you go to an early-stage startup that becomes a lot more likely). Lol, a quote on a 1 bdrm apartment is so relevant for this man with a infant son, 2 large dogs, and a handful of cats.
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Sep 23, 2015 22:31
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Bugamol posted:Well I'm sure Amazon varies greatly by department but they made it pretty clear during the interview process that they stack rank and it's pretty much required to work 50+ hour weeks to not end up at the bottom of that pool. Maybe it's different for programmers. I work in finance.  Yeah, I know several programmers at Amazon who just put in their 9-5. The one person I know who put some extra time in was promoted twice in 2 years and was given enormous bonuses.
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Sep 23, 2015 22:53
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