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My kid is 2.5 now and he is doing a lot of hitting and shoving and attempted biting at daycare. We've tried talking about it and he can answer questions like "When you hit your friend does that make them happy or sad?" "Sad." "Do you want them to be sad?" "No." "Do you want them to be happy?" "Yes." "Are you going to hit?" "I'm not going to hit anymore". He is doing a really good job of at least simulating that he understands it, buy he is getting multiple incidents a day and I can tell the teachers are judging us. We are never violent, we don't even let him watch Super Mario Bros any more because he started making his toys jump on things and shout " let's a go!" and hit. Told him Mario doesn't hit and he corrected "Mario hit those animals". So basically we are trying to show no media at all that has violence. And talk with him about it. But we don't see him doing it at school, so it's really hard to try and correct, we aren't there. I think he's in too young of a class and needs to move up. He went from being the youngest to being the oldest because that class got crowded and they moved everyone but him up to the next room, so he's the biggest and already knows everything they're going over. His school manages it by separating him and talking to him and reading him " hands are for helping " which seems reasonable. We just don't know what to do because he doesn't do this kind of acting out at home. When he has an episode at home he just does the standard toddler flop on the ground and whine. How can we help correct something he's only doing when we aren't there?
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Sep 23, 2015 21:13
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frenchnewwave posted:There is some weird stuff on YouTube that my toddler is obsessed with. For example, there is apparently an infinite amount of different videos of the Five Fingers song showing a hand with different toys or monster figures on each finger. Real hands, CGI animations, you name it. And our four-year-old (who doesn't even speak English) has made it his mission to watch them all.
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Sep 23, 2015 21:18
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Our 13 month old loves kitties, so once in a while we'll put YouTube cat videos on the TV and he goes bonkers with glee. Maru is his favourite. When his attention inevitably wanders a minute or two later, we turn it back off.
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Sep 23, 2015 21:49
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Anna was obsessed with Coldplay's Paradise video for a while. She knew that elephant's every move, and had to narrate everything that happened. The first time she saw it, she started crying inconsolably, though. The story was probably too heartwrenching, he didn't get to buy the green bicycle after all. But he met his friends in the end!!!
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Sep 23, 2015 23:29
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Groke posted:For example, there is apparently an infinite amount of different videos of the Five Fingers song showing a hand with different toys or monster figures on each finger. Real hands, CGI animations, you name it. And our four-year-old (who doesn't even speak English) has made it his mission to watch them all. Ughhh this video. This video is the worst. Jasper loves the ones made by Indian studios which are sometimes ok but sometimes are grating to listen to. Out of all the songs "Super Simple Songs" are the most tolerable and the art isn't too bad. I think I'm a little more annoyed by crappy art and cgi since I am a 3d artist.  He has also gotten into watching people play Bubble Guppies games. He doesn't want to watch the actual show, just a Lets Play of their games. He is turning into a goon.
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Sep 24, 2015 00:03
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If you think the videos are stupid or weird, don't let your kid watch them? We visited in-laws and they had their kids watching that garbage so I just took my guys into another room and got them reading books, playing with toys, watching shows with actual content, or we went to the park, or literally anything else.
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Sep 24, 2015 00:16
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Kalenn Istarion posted:If you think the videos are stupid or weird, don't let your kid watch them? Sounds to me more like you jumped on the perfect excuse not to spend time with your in-laws 
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Sep 24, 2015 00:32
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rgocs posted:Sounds to me more like you jumped on the perfect excuse not to spend time with your in-laws I don't mind the in-laws when they're not watching garbage youtube vids We play hong kong style mah jongg and MLB 15
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Sep 24, 2015 00:37
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Kalenn Istarion posted:I don't mind the in-laws when they're not watching garbage youtube vids Having a good relationship with your in-laws is good. I like my extended family, but after several days of constant craziness (e.g. during Christmas holidays), I'll pay good money to spend some time with my son.
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Sep 24, 2015 00:44
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rgocs posted:Having a good relationship with your in-laws is good. I like my extended family, but after several days of constant craziness (e.g. during Christmas holidays), I'll pay good money to spend some time with my son.  We spent over a month total at their place this summer due to travelling for weddiings and other family poo poo.
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Sep 24, 2015 00:46
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greatn posted:My kid is 2.5 now and he is doing a lot of hitting and shoving and attempted biting at daycare. Sounds like he needs an alternative behavior introduced. He KNOWS he's not supposed to hit, he KNOWS it hurts the other kid's feelings. He doesn't WANT to hurt the other kid's feelings, but he's loving pissed and he just wants to hit something. I get that, sometimes i'd like nothing better than to break my knuckles on whatever it is that's pissing me off. But that's not generally acceptable or nice so I don't do it, I redirect my anger to something less destructive. He's 2.5, he doesn't yet have the tools to express his anger or frustration in a constructive way. Sit down with mom, dad, and teachers and decide what a constructive response would look like, then any time he's in the hitting mood, redirect him into that behavior. Something like "Hey, I know you're mad and it's okay to be mad. Everybody gets mad sometimes. But it's not okay to hit our friends. When I get REALLY mad, sometimes it helps me to hit this cushion, like this!" Demonstrate being frustrated yourself and taking it out on the cushion, direct him to the cushion.
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Sep 24, 2015 02:07
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From the sounds of it it's not him hitting when he's upset, but when he's excited or bored, as like an ice breaker.
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Sep 24, 2015 02:31
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I know y'all probably are sick of my TK stories, so I will leave this right here: I just pulled him out of school. The general story is this - he was being "too silly", so much so that the teacher actually sent him to the principal's office today where he proceeded to continue to be "too silly". I never got a cal, his behavior seems pretty drat normal for a 4-year old (talking in a silly voice, making up words, running around saying "I'm So Excited!") so I decided this simply wasn't a good fit and he needs a private (and expensive, guh) school that can handle his high-energy, ready-to-learn behavior. I never really understood the general ire of parents towards public education, until this happened to me. If a TK teacher can't handle a 4-year old acting like a 4-year old, how the hell are they going to handle him the rest of his 12 years of education?! Thanks again for all the advice. Having faith in my gut instinct has saved my family lots of strife, and we get to enjoy the Holidays without having to navigate his school schedule.
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Sep 24, 2015 02:39
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rgocs posted:Since he was a few months old, our son could endlessly watch the Cello Wars video. Once, when he was about a year and 3 months old, he got his little guitar/ukulele and started As a cellist, this would entertain me to no end 
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Sep 24, 2015 04:28
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playing along
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notwithoutmyanus posted:As a cellist, this would entertain me to no end As usual, once you think about recording them, they stop doing their thing, so I only got the last part of one of his sessions (bad video, shaky, phone camera, no light, etc): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr5r9bkRnas
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Sep 24, 2015 05:38
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rgocs posted:As usual, once you think about recording them, they stop doing their thing, so I only got the last part of one of his sessions (bad video, shaky, phone camera, no light, etc): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr5r9bkRnas Oh my goodness this is adorable!
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Sep 24, 2015 06:22
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notwithoutmyanus posted:As a cellist, this would entertain me to no end Our almost-3-year-old watched my sister-in-law practicing cello for a wedding, and has been consistently begging for a cello ever since. We never bring it up, he'll just out of the blue go, "I want a cello for my birthday." Maybe his grandparents will get it for him.
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Sep 24, 2015 06:40
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Papercut posted:Our almost-3-year-old watched my sister-in-law practicing cello for a wedding, and has been consistently begging for a cello ever since. We never bring it up, he'll just out of the blue go, "I want a cello for my birthday." Maybe his grandparents will get it for him. Can you not get him a viola and just tel him it's a kiddies cello?
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Sep 24, 2015 15:30
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Oodles posted:Can you not get him a viola and just tel him it's a kiddies cello?  FYI, cellos are easily more expensive but they do make 3-4 year old sized-cellos. 1/10th cellos. http://www.ebay.com/gds/The-Complete-Cello-Sizing-Guide-/10000000177633738/g.html . Some kids do actually start with violas, though.Video is awesome VVV: We have that drum, baby loves it. We got the bongos too but kiddo doesn't care. notwithoutmyanus fucked around with this message at 22:16 on Sep 24, 2015 |
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Sep 24, 2015 20:21
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Oodles posted:Can you not get him a viola and just tel him it's a kiddies cello? Classical music is a huge part of my grandpa's life (he puts on a concert every year, both of his kids are professional classical musicians), so I'm gonna see if he'll get him one for his birthday. Just this morning I caught him pretending to play, using a flute as the bow: 
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Sep 24, 2015 21:13
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That's awesome The world would be a better place if more people knew how to make music  Which reminds me, I need to remember to sign my older guy up for piano and maybe one other instrument.
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Sep 25, 2015 11:09
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VorpalBunny posted:I know y'all probably are sick of my TK stories, so I will leave this right here: I just pulled him out of school. I'm glad to hear you pulled him out, because it really didn't sound like a good fit for him developmentally. I would not judge public education based on this one incident. No matter where you take your child the education experience will vary from teacher to teacher. Overall, I had an excellent public education, but that doesn't mean that I didn't have a bad teacher in 6th grade and a few gems in Jr. and Sr. high. I think the problem may have been that the program just doesn't offer the teacher flexibility. Or the teacher had no understanding of child development which is often the case. One trend I am seeing a lot of in Early Childhood Education is that the emphasis is so strong on getting kids a jump start that they start trying to teach kids in ways that are not compatible with their developmental stage. Kindergarten is no longer Kindergarten it is really 1st grade. Even a private school may have the same problem. You really have to examine the program and see that they are really letting kids learn through play and that they are getting ample (read more than 30 minute blocks) of free play. Good luck!
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Sep 26, 2015 16:01
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greatn posted:From the sounds of it it's not him hitting when he's upset, but when he's excited or bored, as like an ice breaker. If that is the case, then I think you're absolutely right that he needs to be in a more challenging environment. I've seen this happen to lots of kids who get caught on the tail end of transitions. It's an unfortunate reality of group care that kids are often placed where they are needed to make the numbers work rather than what is best for the child. It sucks, but it is often necessary to maintain ratios and other guidelines that are there for good reason. You can ask them about moving him up, but they may actually not be able to if the numbers don't work. (If they have the space but aren't willing to try that then run for the hills, cause that's a whole 'nother story.) Whether he is upset or bored, you (actually the teacher because this is happening in their classroom so it is their responsibility) need to figure out the triggers and provide him with alternate behaviors. Ask the teacher to track what is happening before, during, and after the incidents. Then you can pinpoint the cause (is he bored, seeking attention, angry, etc.) and find a solution. The most you can do at home is to say "biting/hitting/pushing is not okay. It hurts. If you are bored you can...../If you want to play you can..../If you are angry you can..." Then act those things out with a doll or stuffed animal. Definitely talk to the teacher about what appropriate behaviors he can do instead so that you are all reinforcing the same positive behaviors.
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Sep 26, 2015 16:15
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Tom Swift Jr. posted:One trend I am seeing a lot of in Early Childhood Education is that the emphasis is so strong on getting kids a jump start that they start trying to teach kids in ways that are not compatible with their developmental stage. Kindergarten is no longer Kindergarten it is really 1st grade. Even a private school may have the same problem. You really have to examine the program and see that they are really letting kids learn through play and that they are getting ample (read more than 30 minute blocks) of free play. Good luck! Yeah, I think that was the problem. There was no joy in the way she was interacting with him! I need a teacher who can embrace the goofball and steer him towards the work in a fun and interesting way. She was so matter-of-fact with him, and she kept warning us "Kindergarten is like 1st grade!" like it was a death sentence or something. I blame mandatory testing, these people are running scared. But the fact they gave up on my kid 5 weeks into school and the principal never responded to our emails - everyone has just been so cold during our entire experience. We are transferring him to another school in the district, one that has had a TK program for a few years, so hopefully it will be a better fit. If that school sucks, then I'll pull him out and put him back in a private TK class at the preschool down the street and give him a year of looser standards so he can enjoy a little more of his childhood. Thanks again for the advice and support, it's been a rough few weeks around here.
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Sep 26, 2015 18:23
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 My 2 and a half year olds paintings have an under lying theme of devil worship. Should I be worried?
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Sep 27, 2015 11:00
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Oodles posted:Can you not get him a viola and just tel him it's a kiddies cello? My daughters guitar is secretly a ukulele. 
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Sep 27, 2015 20:18
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Arthur has had a good few days at school and I think the secret to his improved behavior is we've started putting him to bed about a half hour earlier. We've also put away his trucks as much as possible and had him play with his stuffed animals more, we played school and had him be the teacher's assistant and the animals were the babies. It struck me and my wife that as much as he loves trucks there's really no empathy to be learned from them. And then last night for the first time in weeks he took his stuffed wolf to bed instead of a truck. However a couple of disturbing things: yesterday when he was being wild after his bath and we were trying to dress him he ran away from us and started saying "No spanking, no spanking!". And seemed genuinely concerned we were going to spank him. Neither one of us spanks or ever has, and his school is a Montessori that doesn't do it either, and we haven't had a babysitter or him staying with anybody in a couple of months. So where the hell did he pick that up? I'm going to ask the school about it when I pick him up. And the other distressing thing his pediatrician today during his annual offered a suggestion for behavioral problems of making a wooden spoon with a sad face on it and spanking. What the gently caress?
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Sep 29, 2015 18:20
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greatn posted:And the other distressing thing his pediatrician today during his annual offered a suggestion for behavioral problems of making a wooden spoon with a sad face on it and spanking. What the gently caress?  I'm a pretty non-reactionary type of person, but I'd start looking for a new practice. Like, now.
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Sep 29, 2015 19:00
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I'd look for a new pediatrician too. The AAP is staunchly against spanking as a form of discipline. I wonder if you can report that practice, as they are essentially advocating child abuse.
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Sep 29, 2015 19:04
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greatn posted:However a couple of disturbing things: yesterday when he was being wild after his bath and we were trying to dress him he ran away from us and started saying "No spanking, no spanking!". And seemed genuinely concerned we were going to spank him. Neither one of us spanks or ever has, and his school is a Montessori that doesn't do it either, and we haven't had a babysitter or him staying with anybody in a couple of months. So where the hell did he pick that up?
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Sep 29, 2015 19:31
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It's the south. She couched it a lot in "now this isn't for everyone but some people say this has worked for them" language. One time she recommended a focus on the family book too.
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Sep 29, 2015 19:33
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My parents beat us with wooden spoons. I'm sure they thought it worked really well for them at the time but I have a horrible relationship with them now that I'm an adult. That is just really upsetting that they are providing that as a suggestion.
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Sep 29, 2015 19:38
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greatn posted:And the other distressing thing his pediatrician today during his annual offered a suggestion for behavioral problems of making a wooden spoon with a sad face on it and spanking. What the gently caress? Uh... isn't this the place he likely picked it up if his pediatrician mentioned it to you as an option in front of him?
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Sep 29, 2015 20:22
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GlyphGryph posted:Uh... isn't this the place he likely picked it up if his pediatrician mentioned it to you as an option in front of him? No that was today, he was talking about spanking yesterday. If he mentions it again I'll make sure and ask him what he thinks spanking is.
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Sep 29, 2015 20:40
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So my wonderfully sweet 13 month old daughter has turned on quite the ... uh ... attitude the past week. Seriously she's been the sweetest baby forever and now if she doesn't get absolutely every single thing she wants, she pitches a huge fit and bangs her head into stuff (the floor, cabinet door, whatever is near by). She also does the "world is ending" writhing fit if you're holding her when she's not getting what she wants. Please tell me this is a normal phase! She's getting more teeth in so I'm just hoping she's being fussy, but dear god she has just 180'd from where she was.
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Sep 29, 2015 21:58
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BonoMan posted:So my wonderfully sweet 13 month old daughter has turned on quite the ... uh ... attitude the past week. Seriously she's been the sweetest baby forever and now if she doesn't get absolutely every single thing she wants, she pitches a huge fit and bangs her head into stuff (the floor, cabinet door, whatever is near by). She also does the "world is ending" writhing fit if you're holding her when she's not getting what she wants. On the positive side, it's fun (when he's in a good mood) to see this latest leap in his development. More exploring, more jabbering, and hints of comprehension. 
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Sep 29, 2015 22:10
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BonoMan posted:Please tell me this is a normal phase! Congratulations! Your baby is now approaching toddlerhood, has discovered that she can impact the world around her, and will proceed to cheerfully gently caress up as much of it as she can get her hands on, preferably while looking you straight in the eye, which I've discovered is pretty much the toddler equivalent of giving you the finger. (There is also a lot of super awesome stuff that comes along with it, I MUCH prefer having a toddler to having a baby, but there will be a lot of "I'm going to scream until you cave or my lungs collapse, whichever comes first") (So yeah, totally normal. You still have your super-sweet kid, just a way more headstrong and willful version, trying to figure out what she can do with her newfound powers.) (My favourite right now is when she's testing to see if I'll take her sharks away if she throws them out of the bathtub for the 126th time, just like I did the last 125 times she hurled them across the bathroom, and then pitches a fit because waaaah, I took her sharks!)
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Sep 29, 2015 22:19
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BonoMan posted:So my wonderfully sweet 13 month old daughter has turned on quite the ... uh ... attitude the past week. Seriously she's been the sweetest baby forever and now if she doesn't get absolutely every single thing she wants, she pitches a huge fit and bangs her head into stuff (the floor, cabinet door, whatever is near by). She also does the "world is ending" writhing fit if you're holding her when she's not getting what she wants. Wait, this doesn't happen until 13 months? This is toddlerhood? My daughter is 9 months and does this. She will cry her loving brains out if we're eating an apple/banana and don't share. Especially if we walk away from her without sharing it. We also go through probably 10-20 apples and bananas a week around the house between me and my wife. I thought it was cute? She also knows the milk sign and does the milk sign 24/7 for wifey (breastfed baby). I call the writhing "limp noodle, stiff noodle". She alternates between arching her back and going completely limp repeatedly when she doesn't want to sit in my lap anymore/stop being held/whatever, same idea.
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Sep 29, 2015 22:25
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pjhalifax posted:My son is the same age and pretty much the exact same thing happened. He was a congenial little fellow for a year and then one day he turned into a head-banging demon spawn. It's especially pronounced when he's tired and I pick him up. He starts pointing at anything and everything like he has to have all of it RIGHT NOW or he'll headbutt me in the face. Sockmuppet posted:Congratulations! Your baby is now approaching toddlerhood, has discovered that she can impact the world around her, and will proceed to cheerfully gently caress up as much of it as she can get her hands on, preferably while looking you straight in the eye, which I've discovered is pretty much the toddler equivalent of giving you the finger. Ah good to know, thanks! And yeah it's literally everything you two said. Good to know it's normal.
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Sep 29, 2015 22:32
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We saw the neurologist last night, nothing special, it was just they want to keep extra tabs on premature babies and one of the checkups is after they turn 2 and they test their development. Doctor thought they should speak more words at this age and perhaps be more advanced in their play (though it varies), but they're still not caught up I think. And they're learning two languages. In 6 months we're having another checkup and if they weren't speaking by then he would recommend a speech therapist. Seems a bit excessive, my nephews didn't speak a lot until they where 3, I think these guys are going to hit a milestone soon though, been noticing changes, they say the same in daycare. Sleep though was an issue and I mentioned this before. now the doctor also thinks they need to sleep more. So now we're just going to have to start forcing them to bed earlier, I figured they knew when they where tired and let them stay up. And we hadn't wanted an hour long battle every night, but we're gonna have to try and get them to bed earlier, a little at a time. We actually got them to bed at 21:00 last night so they slept 10 hours straight.
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Sep 30, 2015 13:05
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