Something Awful 2.0 draft proposal

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Something Awful 2.0 draft proposal

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Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

i seriously bet you could recreate the basic forum infrastructure with a version one with about a month's worth of work

maybe it won't have everything all at once, but that's again the lowtax perfectionism

start with the basics knowing what the forum looks like now, and make your way there slowly

# ? Sep 28, 2015 22:09

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 02:44

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

the hardest part is the poo poo that's not software: the existing data, the image attachments, the countless hyperlinks

but you have to accept that some of that poo poo is just not gonna make it

# ? Sep 28, 2015 22:10

N.Z.'s Champion: Jun 8, 2003; Yam Slacker

dear richard let valeyard fix this he'll work hard i promise

# ? Sep 28, 2015 22:10

Valeyard: Mar 30, 2012; Grimey Drawer

N.Z.'s Champion posted:

dear richard let valeyard fix this he'll work hard i promise

Whatever happened to the cross platform SA mobile app you were working on?

# ? Sep 28, 2015 22:35

N.Z.'s Champion: Jun 8, 2003; Yam Slacker

it works on my phone but i gave up trying to make it work on other. i posted a video of it earlier in this thread

# ? Sep 28, 2015 22:40

Valeyard: Mar 30, 2012; Grimey Drawer

N.Z.'s Champion posted:

it works on my phone but i gave up trying to make it work on other. i posted a video of it earlier in this thread

Oh cool, I will see

# ? Sep 28, 2015 22:41

Valeyard: Mar 30, 2012; Grimey Drawer

I still want to try using phone gap for something

# ? Sep 28, 2015 22:41

OB_Juan: Nov 24, 2004; Not every day is a good day.; Dinosaur Gum

community features

poast of the weak

v3.11 requires new :10bux:

or $2 yearly sub

integrate some of the goon sideprojects - make awfull app and goontube official (how? DUNNO)

integrated wiki

make my phone beep when I get quoted, or when there are posts in threads I pick.

fps module

maybe extra $2/yr to access a dumb sitewide ts/mumble

more youtubes?

add coverage of ACTUAL events to frontpage? Dumb nerd newsblogs get mad hitts yall

change the number of memes, more or less

# ? Sep 28, 2015 22:45

N.Z.'s Champion: Jun 8, 2003; Yam Slacker

horse mans posted:

i seriously bet you could recreate the basic forum infrastructure with a version one with about a month's worth of work

start with the basics knowing what the forum looks like now, and make your way there slowly

yeah this is how you'd actually fix it. it's not a lot of work to replace the forums, forum, and thread view which is the server bottleneck

the existing url structure could be maintained:

showthread.php has the threadid and pagenumber in the url. so either redirect to a new url, or get nginx to serve up static html whose javascript accesses a static built thread-3742786_page-8.json served from a cdn. that could move the traffic on sa servers to the edge of the network (eg to a cdn service).
forumdisplay.php has the forumid and pagenumber in the url too so same deal, redirect or serve static html whose js reads the url and accesses accessing forum-219_page-1.json

those are the core features that can be fixed without much effort (a month or so)

the hardest bit is cache invalidation but that's just a dependency graph

horse mans posted:

you have to accept that some of that poo poo is just not gonna make it

there's a lot of fat to trim

leper colony
archives
gas chamber
goldmine
forums cancer
gbs train
saclopedia

all of these don't really matter and aren't the bottleneck. so you could eventually support them but it's (imo) not very important

N.Z.'s Champion fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Sep 28, 2015

# ? Sep 28, 2015 22:46

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Sham bam bamina! posted:

tbh i had maybe three or four actual items but that didn't make for much of a list

# ? Sep 28, 2015 22:58

N.Z.'s Champion: Jun 8, 2003; Yam Slacker

Valeyard posted:

I still want to try using phone gap for something

phonegap gets a bit of criticism but on modern 2015 phones it's not too bad at all (especially for a forum client)

i'd probably use react native though if i did it again. i've made a few android and ios apps with that and it's a bit easy to work with (not sure if it can handle embedded tweets / webm stuff)

# ? Sep 28, 2015 22:59

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

OB_Juan posted:

community features - what

poast of the weak - yes

v3.11 requires new or $2 yearly sub - yes but yearly more

integrate some of the goon sideprojects - make awfull app and goontube official (how? DUNNO) - who what??

integrated wiki - gross

make my phone beep when I get quoted, or when there are posts in threads I pick. - yes

fps module - i too want to know the frame rate of my forum

maybe extra $2/yr to access a dumb sitewide ts/mumble - hideous idea

more youtubes? - yes or NO!!!

add coverage of ACTUAL events to frontpage? Dumb nerd newsblogs get mad hitts yall - $$$

change the number of memes, more or less - to more not less

# ? Sep 28, 2015 23:03

N.Z.'s Champion: Jun 8, 2003; Yam Slacker

dear richard

observe my reg date

now that i have your trust give me readonly access to your db

tia

# ? Sep 28, 2015 23:10

Heresiarch: Oct 6, 2005; Literature is not exhaustible, for the sufficient and simple reason that no single book is. A book is not an isolated being: it is a relationship, an axis of innumerable relationships.

are you people serious

the spit-and-bailing-wire nature of the forums is part of the appeal

sa feels like an old club that's never been remodeled and still has graffiti from decades ago, where the bathrooms don't work half the time, the bartender is deaf, the bands are all terrible, there's a back room that's been walled up after a fire because there wasn't any money to rebuild it, the regulars are all assholes, and you keep going there anyway because the alternative is one of the shiny new clubs that's filled with people who are "dancing" to dubstep and unironically want to attend sxsw

# ? Sep 28, 2015 23:16

OB_Juan: Nov 24, 2004; Not every day is a good day.; Dinosaur Gum

I agree, but i'd rather them actually keep being around, too.

maybe a kickstarter.

# ? Sep 28, 2015 23:23

N.Z.'s Champion: Jun 8, 2003; Yam Slacker

Heresiarch posted:

are you people serious

the spit-and-bailing-wire nature of the forums is part of the appeal

sa feels like an old club that's never been remodeled

eh i don't think a bit of internal reworking is going to change that

no ones talking about using a metro tiles theme for the forums

# ? Sep 28, 2015 23:29

Phoenixan: Jan 16, 2010; Just Keep Cool-idge

horse mans posted:

start with the basics knowing what the forum looks like now, and make your way there slowly

i can style some tables with css

# ? Sep 28, 2015 23:31

Space-Pope: Aug 13, 2003; by zen death robot

echinopsis posted:

how could there be hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of work in the forums

literally being scammed for over a decade by a guy whose credentials included "worked for planetquake for a year"

remember when lowtax claimed radium was fired and replaced, and then it turned out it was a lie? lol

# ? Sep 28, 2015 23:34

Sweevo: Nov 8, 2007; i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster

Space-Pope posted:

literally being scammed for over a decade by a guy whose credentials included "worked for planetquake for a year"

Lowtax posted:

Early on, when he first came on board, things were good. He would actually, you know, DO THINGS. He added a lot of features to the forums, built a CMS for the front page, and handled tech support. So he showed the capability, and I guess that's what always stuck in my mind when I was debating firing him.

Unfortunately, as you all might have noticed, he gradually transformed into an apathetic and outright hostile rear end in a top hat over the years. Here's a little "behind the scenes" story to illustrate this for you: about a year ago, he decided to stop using any IM client, so he could just "concentrate on working." I asked him how I was supposed to contact him, and he said email. Then he stopped replying to emails, and said I should text him on his cell. Then he stopped replying to cell texts, and said I should just call him. Then he stopped answering his phone. Here was a guy I was paying full time to run the backend of SA, and there was literally absolutely no way for me to contact him.

Additionally, he refused to ever tell me what he was supposedly "working" on, or give any dates as to when anything would be completed. When I asked him to simply drop me a line once a week and let me know what features he was working on for SA, he would get irate and insist I was being unreasonable and wasting his time (by wanting to know what he was actually doing all day). Call me crazy, but I don't think it's that unreasonable for an employer to know what their coder is doing and when it will be done.

# ? Sep 28, 2015 23:54

N.Z.'s Champion: Jun 8, 2003; Yam Slacker

lol

# ? Sep 28, 2015 23:55

Space-Pope: Aug 13, 2003; by zen death robot

lmao lowtax can't understand why no one wants to buy ads for a site where people post "ironic" racist poo poo and doxx each other

# ? Sep 29, 2015 00:08

Space-Pope: Aug 13, 2003; by zen death robot

"from an seo perspective, we're basically stormfront. WHY CAN'T I GET THE BIG AD DOLLARS"

# ? Sep 29, 2015 00:09

Sweevo: Nov 8, 2007; i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster

and if you dare mention it might be a problem then you get that tired old HERG BLERG JOKES ON A COMEDY FORUM!!!! reply

# ? Sep 29, 2015 00:40

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

integrate bitcoin miners directly into the site

zune-exclusive app

sa branded paperclips

# ? Sep 29, 2015 01:03

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Space-Pope posted:

"from an seo perspective, we're basically stormfront. WHY CAN'T I GET THE BIG AD DOLLARS"

yes from a seo perspective we're basically stormfront which is obviously why Google accepted us into AdSense

# ? Sep 29, 2015 01:24

N.Z.'s Champion: Jun 8, 2003; Yam Slacker

thanks for reading my tweet mr lowtax sir

# ? Sep 29, 2015 01:24

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

N.Z.'s Champion posted:

thanks for reading my tweet mr lowtax sir

as the leader of the KKK offshoot which is clearly Something Awful, I must say "no, thank YOU"

# ? Sep 29, 2015 01:27

N.Z.'s Champion: Jun 8, 2003; Yam Slacker

an endorsement from the grand dragonball z this is going straight on my CV

# ? Sep 29, 2015 01:46

pram: Jun 10, 2001

N.Z.'s Champion posted:

yeah this is how you'd actually fix it. it's not a lot of work to replace the forums, forum, and thread view which is the server bottleneck

the existing url structure could be maintained:

showthread.php has the threadid and pagenumber in the url. so either redirect to a new url, or get nginx to serve up static html whose javascript accesses a static built thread-3742786_page-8.json served from a cdn. that could move the traffic on sa servers to the edge of the network (eg to a cdn service).

forumdisplay.php has the forumid and pagenumber in the url too so same deal, redirect or serve static html whose js reads the url and accesses accessing forum-219_page-1.json

those are the core features that can be fixed without much effort (a month or so)

the hardest bit is cache invalidation but that's just a dependency graph

there's a lot of fat to trim

leper colony

archives

gas chamber

goldmine

forums cancer

gbs train

saclopedia

all of these don't really matter and aren't the bottleneck. so you could eventually support them but it's (imo) not very important

# ? Sep 29, 2015 01:47

suffix: Jul 27, 2013; Wheeee!

we're ready to start work on this baby as soon as the stakeholders give hte spec a thumbs up

# ? Sep 29, 2015 01:52

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Lowtax posted:

as the leader of the KKK offshoot which is clearly Something Awful, I must say "no, thank YOU"

you should license you likeness for sa-themed tattoos in an sa branded tattoo parlor

# ? Sep 29, 2015 01:56

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

horse mans posted:

the hardest part is the poo poo that's not software: the existing data, the image attachments, the countless hyperlinks

but you have to accept that some of that poo poo is just not gonna make it

redirect all waffleimages requests to that partial archive someone got running

# ? Sep 29, 2015 02:02

N.Z.'s Champion: Jun 8, 2003; Yam Slacker

pram posted:

duh. i made my own sa app because the other one was too slow on my phone so some effortposting is just the tip

# ? Sep 29, 2015 02:03

FamDav: Mar 29, 2008

N.Z.'s Champion posted:

or they think that their techniques for 100s of users will still work @ webscale

popular sites must attract lots of flakes so i know lowtax has been hurt before, but he should open his heart to love again

lol if you think this websites traffic is in any way huge in 2015.

it would be cool if we knew actual reads and posts per second, though. current user count isn't a good enough proxy.

# ? Sep 29, 2015 03:37