TWIST FIST posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3685394&userid=30414

Bwee posted:

Ayatollah Hermione posted:

Qwerinty posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3706447&userid=213642

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3706447&userid=197199

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3706447&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1#post442757845

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3706447&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=2#post442763884

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3706447&userid=189107

bacalou posted:

Lil Cunty posted:

Karl Benz: Ahahaha my invention will decimate the environment, pollute the atmosphere, cause wars, kill thousands of people and and enslave the rest! All in a century's time! I will destroy the world! Muahah-

Humanity: heck yeah where do I sign

Benz: uh, no, see, I'm going to destroy the world. um, like a global extinction event. it's bad you're not supposed to be into it

Humanity: ok, I want a red one

Benz: no no, it's evil, your uh, your children will inherit a desolate waste and future generations will rue your-

Humanity: my wife wants one too

alfred... posted:

dogcrash truther posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3743798

alfred... posted:

p

alfred... posted:

i

alfred... posted:

s

alfred... posted:

s

smoobles posted:

alfred i hope you get brutally murdered IRL no offense

Qwerinty posted:

Qwerinty posted:

dogcrash truther posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3743798

GEExCEE posted:

I think it's funny and in the spirit of the thread that it got gassed

alfred... posted:

nice... finally made it into the good post goldmine after all these years

GEExCEE posted:

You deserve be5tter than this

alfred... posted:

guy doing his laundry
yeah, just putting all my dirty clothes in the wash. taking my pants, shirts, undergarments and socks and throwing it all into the machine. next to add the detergent! after im done with the laundry im going to have sex with a robot

alfred... posted:

guy at the skate park
woo! im doing ollies and 360s and all sorts of cool skateboard tricks in zero-gravity at the zero-gravity skate park. so many cool tricks that we didnt have 1000 years ago are available to us now that we can skate in zero-g (urban slang for zero-gravity). i cannot wait to show all these tricks to my robot trainer, and proceed to have sex with him.

alfred... posted:

guy playing video games
im playing video games and im getting all sorts of scores. im getting scores like 3, 5, 208, etc. now that its the future we ran out of high scores and we count low scores too, just to spice things up a bit. after a short stint at the gaming desk (gaming is a very important job in the future) im going to eat some dinner. after that, im thinking about having sex with a robot.

GEExCEE posted:

alfred you are a valued member of the community. I exhort u.

dave. posted:

robie posted:

Moth makes me froths
Hello I am robie i have the same problem. AS you. My dog bring home mothes all of the time when i let her in to the backyard. I tell her no but she does not understand. She does not undestand the fear of the moth in my home. She kepp bringing the moth in my house and I just want them gone. Please dog training. I need the creature away Any tip aporiciated

dogcrash truther posted:

Thread: scientists predict what people will say and do in the near future

Jenkem Delivery posted:

*Drops keys and bends over to pick them up*

"Yes, yes bow to me!"

*Glares up at the Death Moon*

Twerkteam Pizza posted:

THREAD OF GOOD POSTS

GEExCEE posted:

Hamurrabi's Code posted: posted:

1. He who smelt it dealt it
2. No sex in the champagne room
3. Chick flicks in the man cave = huge no
4. Gotta get that boom boom boom
5. Gas, grass, or rear end - nobody rides for free
6. You better not touch that thermostat young lady
7. 20 minutes into Netflix n chill u gotta turn around n give her this look
8. Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk
9. If you break it, you buy it.
10. Be excellent to each other

TWIST FIST posted:

swine coswine and hamgent are important parts of pigonometry

dogcrash truther posted:

The Hidden Horns

Generations have been charmed by this straightfoward, riotously enjoyable pass time, and many more have been driven to consternation and even madness by the hidden jollities of its seemingly unsophisticated rules. First, a five pointed star is placed on the ground, in the center of which a single candle is positioned. Should any one volunteer, he is placed between two points of the star and given a blindfolded goat and an obsidian dagger. As he slits the throat of the goat and drips the blood upon the candle he shouts in a merry voice "Hail Satan! Hail Lucifer!" No directions could sound more simple. The opinion that there is nothing in it has been expressed by those who have never seen the thing done. Not many people, however, are able to manage it -- the reason why, you young people will soon find out, if you decide to give the game a fair trial.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

exactly. mormons love committing felonies as long as you don't swear too much. it invites the devil into your soul

gently caress. marry. t-rex posted:

I'm gonna call people bugs. Like, "don't be such a bug, Cynthia". Or like, "get the hell away from me you old bug!" Or like... "EAT ME, YOU BUG-rear end FUCKER!"

ron color posted:

break into their home and smoke weed in it....then who's going to call the cops??? hahaha

ron color posted:

consider hiding print outs of ppopular memes and song lyrics around their home to throw them off the trail

Hick Magnet posted:

When I was in High School my friend and I tried to make weed brownies, but we didn't know what we were doing so we just put weed in a brownie recipe and assumed it would work. It didn't get us high at all but the next day I took a big poop that smelled like straight weed and that's how my parents found out I smoked weed.

Hick Magnet posted:

parents: were you smoking pot in the bathroom?

me: No, what hap-- yeah. yeah. that's easier to explain than the truth.

GEExCEE posted:

Dumbledoge rose as Hairy Pawtter opened the door to his secret chamber. "Ah," he barked, "I see you have found my memery. This is where I keep all my fondest and rarest memes. I have many memories of days I've spent here, looking at the funniest quips of yesteryear. This is a first edition 'oh you' jpeg... This was the most viewed 'unimpressed firehydrant' image macro of 2013. But I digress... These memes are under peril, Hairy. The Dark Lord Voldemeowrt's power grows by the day. By 2020, more than forty percent of internet memes will be cat based. Dogwarts will be forced to shutter its doors. Did you know that over 90% of our funding comes from internet ad revenue? Neither did I until the board told me yesterday."

weird posted:

weird posted:

bog pixie posted:

GEExCEE posted: