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Brannock
Feb 9, 2006

by exmarx
Fallen Rib
Geaux Lions

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punched my v-card at camp
Sep 4, 2008

Broken and smokin' where the infrared deer plunge in the digital snake

BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!
I want to believe the Lions can find a way to go 0-16, but they'd have to lose to the Bears twice. They end the season with the Saints, Niners and Bears.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Lions can easily lose at least 1 of those 3. 2 if Gabbert's playing

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005

Chris James 2 posted:

Lions can easily lose at least 1 of those 3. 2 if Gabbert's playing

Lions can lose a bunch of games but they are going to really have to pull some of the stops out if they want to lose out.

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp
If the Lions went 0-16 again I would drive into the Detroit river and never return

Dexo
Aug 15, 2009

A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.
The Bears are not that bad of a team anyway. The defense is getting better, and Once Jeffery gets back they will actually have a real rear end NFL WR on the team again.

The Bears just happened to play the literal 3 best teams in the NFC the first 3 weeks. And they only had an NFL caliber QB playing in 1.5 of those 3 games. If it wasn't for a Forte Fumble(which never happens. Dude only has 18 over his whole career), And a Missnap fumble because our center got hurt, and the one allotted and planned for Cutlerception they pretty well handled Oakland.

Essentially if the defense can play well enough to allow Cutler his one allotted mistake they can hang with and beat other mediocre teams




Just kidding the bears are complete trash

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


Acebuckeye13 posted:

If the Lions went 0-16 again I would drive into the Detroit river and never return

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

Acebuckeye13 posted:

If the Lions went 0-16 again I would drive into the Detroit river and never return

Where would you go?

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP
Reminder that the Lions still don't have the longest losing streak, that belongs to the Bucs.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp

Metapod posted:

Where would you go?

Maybe float down to Ceder Point, ride the rides, try and forget about the Lions and existence in general.

Hot Diggity!
Apr 3, 2010

SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF
go lions i guess

Zurreco
Dec 27, 2004

Cutty approves.

Parmesan Basil posted:

#JeSuisCutler

/


Seriously though, the worst part about the season so far hasn't been the losses or the injuries, it's the hyper-vocal fairweather fans who keep pining for us to "trade gay cutler" as if that's either an option or an appropriate response to the situation. And now, what might even be worse, is all of those same fairweather fans coming back and telling all the Cutler haters to gently caress off.

We were competitive against the Packers in week 1, kept up with the Cardinals in week 2 until Cutler got injured, and then got blown out in week 3 to the fuckin Seahawks. Our defense is pretty bad and yet all anyone wants to talk about is the QB situation. It's almost like facing off against two really good offenses with your own bad defense and then facing a pretty good defense with your best QB and WR injured is an easy way to go 0-3 to start.

Can we just go back to the 2010 Bears where they were super fun to watch and nobody expected anything out of us?

Dexo
Aug 15, 2009

A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

Zurreco posted:

/


Seriously though, the worst part about the season so far hasn't been the losses or the injuries, it's the hyper-vocal fairweather fans who keep pining for us to "trade gay cutler" as if that's either an option or an appropriate response to the situation. And now, what might even be worse, is all of those same fairweather fans coming back and telling all the Cutler haters to gently caress off.

We were competitive against the Packers in week 1, kept up with the Cardinals in week 2 until Cutler got injured, and then got blown out in week 3 to the fuckin Seahawks. Our defense is pretty bad and yet all anyone wants to talk about is the QB situation. It's almost like facing off against two really good offenses with your own bad defense and then facing a pretty good defense with your best QB and WR injured is an easy way to go 0-3 to start.

Can we just go back to the 2010 Bears where they were super fun to watch and nobody expected anything out of us?

Nah, Packers won the Superbowl that year.

Waaaaay too many happy Packer fans in that scenario.


I am willing to be miserable as long as it leads to miserable Packer fans.


Lets go back to the timeline where the Packers are stuck with Brian Brohm and The Bears led by the Hero Kyle Orton have a stranglehold on the division.

Dexo fucked around with this message at 05:58 on Oct 5, 2015

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat
Setting aside all hilarious Internet hyperbole for a moment, this Lions team is way more talented and arguably better-coached than the '08 squad, so I think they'll have a much harder time going winless this year. That being said outside of 3 quarters in SD they have looked like dogshit and I could see players start to mail it in if they are winless after that first Bears game, nor do I trust Caldwell & Co. to fix that should it occur. You already saw a little bit of that happening with people telling Stafford to nut up after the Minnesota game.

They could surprise me and beat Seattle tonight but I highly doubt that will happen, and even if it does their window is closed. If they couldn't make a run with last year's time, it's going to be a while before they have another chance!

C-Euro fucked around with this message at 13:08 on Oct 5, 2015

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

I'm kind of bummed out that Jarvis Landry bailed Miami out in week 1.

We could be in this thread :smith:

Shangri-Law School
Feb 19, 2013

The Lions are a team without equal so far this season. :smug:

:ohdear:

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
The Lions are a much better team than the Raiders were last year, and I'd expect them to at least sneak out 3-5 wins. Might even surprise some people, but who knows. They've already surprised me because I didn't expect them to be last winless team bad by any means.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008
If the Lions go 0-16 again I'll put a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger until it goes click :toxx::suicide::toxx:

Flikken
Oct 23, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

C. Everett Koop posted:

If the Lions go 0-16 again I'll put a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger until it goes click :toxx::suicide::toxx:

Loaded or unloaded? This is important.

Elephanthead
Sep 11, 2008


Toilet Rascal
No team will lose to the Bears twice this year so sorry Lions fans 0-16 won't happen.

ArgaWarga
Apr 8, 2005

dare to fail gloriously

Zurreco posted:

/


Seriously though, the worst part about the season so far hasn't been the losses or the injuries, it's the hyper-vocal fairweather fans who keep pining for us to "trade gay cutler" as if that's either an option or an appropriate response to the situation. And now, what might even be worse, is all of those same fairweather fans coming back and telling all the Cutler haters to gently caress off.

We were competitive against the Packers in week 1, kept up with the Cardinals in week 2 until Cutler got injured, and then got blown out in week 3 to the fuckin Seahawks. Our defense is pretty bad and yet all anyone wants to talk about is the QB situation. It's almost like facing off against two really good offenses with your own bad defense and then facing a pretty good defense with your best QB and WR injured is an easy way to go 0-3 to start.

Can we just go back to the 2010 Bears where they were super fun to watch and nobody expected anything out of us?

I look forward to the fan riots that will occur when the Bears will draft a hot prospect QB and (hopefully) keep him benched for a season while Cutler plays.

The streets will run green with giardiniera.

Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!

ArgaWarga posted:

I look forward to the fan riots that will occur when the Bears will draft a hot prospect QB and (hopefully) keep him benched for a season while Cutler plays.

The Bears will face almost no cap hit if they cut Cutler after this season and both Pace and Fox have made it patently clear they don't want him. I'd be shocked if he's on the team next year.

Dexo
Aug 15, 2009

A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

Timby posted:

The Bears will face almost no cap hit if they cut Cutler after this season and both Pace and Fox have made it patently clear they don't want him. I'd be shocked if he's on the team next year.

Please tell me when Pace or Fox said they didn't want him or really said anything negative about him at all.

Much less where they "patently" have done so.


Unless they are in a position to pick up a can't miss QB prospect in the draft(there is probably not one this year) He's probably here for at least another year, especially since it seems like he's picking up the Gase offense well. And the worst front-loaded part of his contract is already done(until you get to the monopoly money years in 2019). It would be pointless and dumb to cut him just for the sake of cutting him. Especially when the Bears are going to have so much cap space going forward anyway even with his contract(which is p much the going rate for starting QB's anyway) They are projected to have around 60 million dollars to play with next year with Cutler's deal still on the Books.


It would be pantshittingly dumb to give up Cutler for nothing unless you legit think you have found someone who can become better than him.

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack
Lube up your asses Lions fans the Seahawks are gonna run train

Sataere
Jul 20, 2005


Step 1: Start fight
Step 2: Attack straw man
Step 3: REPEAT

Do not engage with me



Timby posted:

The Bears will face almost no cap hit if they cut Cutler after this season and both Pace and Fox have made it patently clear they don't want him. I'd be shocked if he's on the team next year.

They've only said good things about him.

Dexo posted:

Please tell me when Pace or Fox said they didn't want him or really said anything negative about him at all.

Much less where they "patently" have done so.


Unless they are in a position to pick up a can't miss QB prospect in the draft(there is probably not one this year) He's probably here for at least another year, especially since it seems like he's picking up the Gase offense well. And the worst front-loaded part of his contract is already done(until you get to the monopoly money years in 2019). It would be pointless and dumb to cut him just for the sake of cutting him. Especially when the Bears are going to have so much cap space going forward anyway even with his contract(which is p much the going rate for starting QB's anyway) They are projected to have around 60 million dollars to play with next year with Cutler's deal still on the Books.


It would be pantshittingly dumb to give up Cutler for nothing unless you legit think you have found someone who can become better than him.

I'm just hoping they can find a way to trade Willie Young and Lamaar Houston for some more picks before the year is done. I hope they extend Forte though, because that guy is like a fine wine. He only gets better with age.

ArgaWarga
Apr 8, 2005

dare to fail gloriously

Love Forte, but he'll be gone by the trade deadline.

Dexo posted:

It would be pantshittingly dumb to give up Cutler for nothing unless you legit think you have found someone who can become better than him.

I hope they keep anyone they get on the bench for a while, give him a chance to develop. Even if it means another year with Cutler at the helm, it's going to be the best way to give a new QB a chance.

Dexo
Aug 15, 2009

A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

ArgaWarga posted:

Love Forte, but he'll be gone by the trade deadline.


I hope they keep anyone they get on the bench for a while, give him a chance to develop. Even if it means another year with Cutler at the helm, it's going to be the best way to give a new QB a chance.

No he probably won't(unless they get a hell of a return for him). Hell Forte might be back next year.

John Fox is not a coach that likes to rebuild. Pace being a young GM is going to listen heavily to whatever Fox wants him to do.

If Fox/Gase want Forte back he's back. I wouldn't be surprised if they brought Forte back on a 2 maaaaaybe 3 year deal with one year guaranteed. In such a way he can be cut after next season if he hits the Running Back wall.

Keep in mind this offense is currently operating with 3 number 3 receivers as 1-3

Dexo fucked around with this message at 00:36 on Oct 6, 2015

ArgaWarga
Apr 8, 2005

dare to fail gloriously

:tinfoil:
I predict Fox will be out when the team is starting to turn around. Hopefully they'll bump Gase up to HC and the QB coach to OC. Fox is a good team to rebuild a locker room but his gameday management is a bit lacking.
:tinfoil:

Also 9/11 was an inside job.

GNU Order
Feb 28, 2011

That's a paddlin'

Why are you guys talking about the Bears in the 0-16 Detroit Lions thread?????

So uh, how about that *looks at depth chart* Tahir Whitehead? ahahahaha christ

Dexo
Aug 15, 2009

A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

ArgaWarga posted:

:tinfoil:
I predict Fox will be out when the team is starting to turn around. Hopefully they'll bump Gase up to HC and the QB coach to OC. Fox is a good team to rebuild a locker room but his gameday management is a bit lacking.
:tinfoil:

Also 9/11 was an inside job.

Once Jeffery gets back if the Bears offense takes a step forward and Gase makes Cutty look good. Gase is going to be a head coach somewhere else.

He should have had the Niners job, if Jed York and Trent Baalke weren't loving idiots.

GNU Order posted:

Why are you guys talking about the Bears in the 0-16 Detroit Lions thread?????

So uh, how about that *looks at depth chart* Glover Quin? ahahahaha christ


Stafford is overrated, paper tiger.


Megatron totally didn't catch that pass in the endzone of that game years ago either.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

African AIDS cum posted:

Lube up your asses Lions fans the Seahawks are gonna run train

Are you calling my team gay? :crossarms:

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

Flikken posted:

Loaded or unloaded? This is important.

Gas-fueled and rocket-powered. christ almighty gently caress me

Zurreco
Dec 27, 2004

Cutty approves.
Detroit fans are gonna be pissed when they wake up tomorrow and find out that refs blew a call at the end of the game.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


@ESPNStatsInfo
The Lions have been the last remaining winless team in the NFL 8 times, the most of any team

tigersklaw
May 8, 2008

Chris James 2 posted:

@ESPNStatsInfo
The Lions have been the last remaining winless team in the NFL 8 times, the most of any team

Looks like Detroit is winning something!

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

tigersklaw posted:

Looks like Detroit is winning something!

"I want to succeed at something"
*all the fingers on the monkey's paw clench and punch the lions in the dick*

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

sweet thursday posted:

"I want to succeed at something"
*all the fingers on the monkey's paw clench and punch the lions in the dick*

So, something that's been bothering me. Monkeys have fingers and thumbs like we do, right? Shouldn't it be the monkey's hand then?

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sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Chichevache posted:

So, something that's been bothering me. Monkeys have fingers and thumbs like we do, right? Shouldn't it be the monkey's hand then?
Monkey's hands don't grant awful wishes though dumbass

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