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Iron Lung
Jul 24, 2007
Life.Iron Lung. Death.

n8r posted:

I think it'd be worth seeing a shot that includes checking/savings account balances and all of that stuff. Unless your wife gets to go on the trip by herself, saying that you get to overspend your discretionary because of a trip you both take is bogus. Can't you switch to cheap/lovely smokes until the 15th, that will make you want to quit? Why not start cutting down by 2 smokes a day to taper off a bit. Jesus man 10 smokes a day? What the hell.

Yeah I caught and that's hokey as heck man. Sorry babe, I spent all of my (and some of your) discretionary funds this month/year but I'll take you on a trip! With your leftover discretionary.

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Strep Vote
May 5, 2004

أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة
Glob drat. Move this thread to en. KG your addictive and impulsive personality are wrecking your life.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Quantum Finger posted:

Glob drat. Move this thread to en. KG your addictive and impulsive personality are wrecking your life.

I'm pretty happy with my life, and I disagree wholeheartedly that my life is even close to becoming a wreck. My young cousin just got arrested for breaking probation and is staying in a rehab facility after a month stint in jail because he stole thousands of dollars in goods from family. That's what a serious addictive personality coupled with a total lack of control is. I'm not anywhere close to that. I'm imperfect sure.

If this thread got moved to en I would just stop posting in it.

We're on track again. We made some bad choices and learned some financial savvy ways to deal with similar situations in the future. I consider that a win for the thread.

On my phone still guys I'll post tomorrow at the latest as long as the forums don't go down again or something.

Old Fart
Jul 25, 2013

Knyteguy posted:

We're on track again. We made some bad choices and learned some financial savvy ways to deal with similar situations in the future.
Care to elaborate on all those points?

Also, what would you consider a failure for the thread, if the last few months aren't it?

foxatee
Feb 27, 2010

That foxatee is always making a Piggles out of herself.

Knyteguy posted:

We're on track again. We made some bad choices and learned some financial savvy ways to deal with similar situations in the future.

I feel like we've heard this before.

spwrozek
Sep 4, 2006

Sail when it's windy

People stumble and fall. Hopefully he is on the right track and does make progress. I think you have to remember despite some failures there has been some wins (getting a month ahead, paying the baby off up front, the extra car payments). Plenty of work to do but I feel that we shouldn't overlook where things have gone right.

n8r
Jul 3, 2003

I helped Lowtax become a cyborg and all I got was this lousy avatar

Knyteguy posted:

We're on track again. We made some bad choices and learned some financial savvy ways to deal with similar situations in the future. I consider that a win for the thread.

On my phone still guys I'll post tomorrow at the latest as long as the forums don't go down again or something.

What sort of savvy things do you plan on doing? One of the things I'd encourage you to do is to write down a firm list of goals for yourself. This will help you stay focused on short, medium, and longer term goals.
What date do you want the car paid off?
When do you want to be able to take a vacation - how much will you have saved to do it?
When will you have 6 months of emergency fund saved?
When will you start saving for retirement?

When you think about making other choices with your money, it would be good to look back these goals and think about whether or not they will effect your larger goals.

hitachi
May 2, 2003

Hail to the King, baby
The savviest thing you could do would be making a budget and loving sticking to it.

Strep Vote
May 5, 2004

أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة
Yeah, you're such a functional adult, demonstrated by good decisions such as:

Strep Vote
May 5, 2004

أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

n8r posted:

What sort of savvy things do you plan on doing? One of the things I'd encourage you to do is to write down a firm list of goals for yourself. This will help you stay focused on short, medium, and longer term goals.
What date do you want the car paid off?
When do you want to be able to take a vacation - how much will you have saved to do it?
When will you have 6 months of emergency fund saved?
When will you start saving for retirement?

When you think about making other choices with your money, it would be good to look back these goals and think about whether or not they will effect your larger goals.

This was suggested at least a year, year and a half ago. Worked great.

n8r
Jul 3, 2003

I helped Lowtax become a cyborg and all I got was this lousy avatar
At this point I'm making the same 5-6 posts over and over. I'm not really sure why but it brings me some level of satisfaction.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Quantum Finger posted:

Yeah, you're such a functional adult, demonstrated by good decisions such as:

Paying off my kid's hospital bills in full as soon as they were billed to us
Going from unemployment to a 60,000/yr job
Asking for help regarding our finances, and sticking with it for 2 years acknowledging my own shortcomings, despite massive criticism

I know you're rooting for me QF. I saw what you did in the blue story thread. You're a nice person despite yourself.

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 02:57 on Oct 11, 2015

Old Fart
Jul 25, 2013
Hey, KG. Go to YNAB, expand all categories, including hidden. Expand the headers. Make sure August is in view. Screenshot. Post.

Edit: I don't mind if it takes two screenshots.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Old Fart posted:

Hey, KG. Go to YNAB, expand all categories, including hidden. Expand the headers. Make sure August is in view. Screenshot. Post.

Edit: I don't mind if it takes two screenshots.

Lol you may not mind, but it's a pain in the rear end.

As I said: I will.

Old Greg
Jun 16, 2008

Knyteguy posted:

1. Paying off my kid's hospital bills in full as soon as they were billed to us
2. Going from unemployment to a 60,000/yr job
3. Asking for help regarding our finances, and sticking with it for 2 years acknowledging my own shortcomings, despite massive criticism

1. Yes! Good job.
2. Yes. Your work quality's never been in question. Although you're conveniently ignoring the emotional rollercoaster that job has been for you this year AND all of the nothing that visiting recruiters and job hunting has brought you. I wouldn't count that as a failure you have control over, but by the same token I wouldn't count the job as a "I did this! (Alone with my talent)" win either. And there are some weeks you are content to only search local and some weeks you're ready to upend to move to Seattle.
3. To put this as an accomplishment as opposed to "Didn't fail!" is a stretch. Yeah, better to ask and to stick than not, but that was the first step, not some grand end goal you achieved.

Knyte, I and everyone else is trying to tear you down for a reason. You have a really defensive overconfidence going on that, historically? Has not worked. People see your successes. They also see that you could very likely be doing better, and see you out of debt faster, and are trying to lean on you to get that result. Foxatee's right, we have heard this before, that this time you have learned the right lessons, and are going to do it, maybe even get crazy with your budgeting! I've got deja vu. You do seem more defensive than ever though, so that's new! People are trying to put pressure on you so you get defensive about the budget and failing. So instead of coming in to defend how every one of your decisions is right (which I'm sure you'd agree you don't think, but what's the last decision you didn't defend and argue as correct in here?) you are arguing yourself away from purchases, away from smoking, away from things harmful to your budget.

Sometimes people need confidence boosters when down. Sometimes people need others to be hard on them to get an idea through their head when it's being thick. And you certainly feel like you're being thick. It's worrying how you react to advice and questions in this thread lately, because a lot of it the past few weeks has been plenty good and hasn't seemed that adversarial. This forum used to have helldump and I think every poster here watched the dumpster fire that was Blue Story. You're getting people being tough, not needlessly mean. There's a difference.

Old Fart
Jul 25, 2013

Knyteguy posted:

Lol you may not mind, but it's a pain in the rear end.

As I said: I will.
Hitting Print Screen is a pain in the rear end? Seriously?

In what way are you not acting like somebody with something to hide?

n8r
Jul 3, 2003

I helped Lowtax become a cyborg and all I got was this lousy avatar

Knyteguy posted:

Paying off my kid's hospital bills in full as soon as they were billed to us
Going from unemployment to a 60,000/yr job
Asking for help regarding our finances, and sticking with it for 2 years acknowledging my own shortcomings, despite massive criticism

I know you're rooting for me QF. I saw what you did in the blue story thread. You're a nice person despite yourself.

I would say that paying off the hospital bill is one of your major achievements during this thread. You also did a good job figuring out the deal with your wife's maternity leave and getting your childcare expenses lined up pretty well prior to the kid coming along. You had a clear goal, and you set money aside and planned ahead and did really well.

You've been receiving 'massive' criticism since then because aside from the major victory of planning well and budgeting for your child, you have not made any significant steps beyond that. Stress, drama, hardships, etc are just part of life, and I think most of the regular posters in this thread are encouraging you to not use these things to justify adding more stress to your life by making poor financial decisions. I have had some amazing drama in my life over the past few years of my life, but the fact that I have secure financial footing has been a major support in my life. You are constantly saying you want financial security, but your decisions seem to show other things going on. When this is a repeating patter, people start suggesting therapy and perhaps that this thread should be e/n not BFC.

April
Jul 3, 2006


I think part of the problem (aside from completely not understanding how planning works) is that Knyte is an extremely literal thinker. In his mind, if he isn't making the same mistake, it's not a repeated pattern. The problem is, he defines "the same mistake" as EXACTLY the same mistake. So, for example, impulse-buying a car is nothing like breaking a lease and getting hit with a big fee because he didn't read the lease. To Knight, the fact that he's only impulse-bought ONE car means he's learned his lesson and won't impulse-buy another car. He only bought the Oculus Rift ONE TIME GUYS. Same with the PS4, and all the other crap that he had to have right that second. Each time, he has learned his lesson, and won't do it again, and he hasn't bought another PS4, so he totally learned that lesson.

I think that he genuinely doesn't understand why everyone gets so frustrated. He's like a dog that keeps chewing shoes. "What? I got in trouble for chewing the high heel, so I'm chewing the tennis shoe. TOTALLY DIFFERENT SHOE!"

Robo Boogie Bot
Sep 4, 2011

April posted:

I think part of the problem (aside from completely not understanding how planning works) is that Knyte is an extremely literal thinker. In his mind, if he isn't making the same mistake, it's not a repeated pattern. The problem is, he defines "the same mistake" as EXACTLY the same mistake. So, for example, impulse-buying a car is nothing like breaking a lease and getting hit with a big fee because he didn't read the lease. To Knight, the fact that he's only impulse-bought ONE car means he's learned his lesson and won't impulse-buy another car. He only bought the Oculus Rift ONE TIME GUYS. Same with the PS4, and all the other crap that he had to have right that second. Each time, he has learned his lesson, and won't do it again, and he hasn't bought another PS4, so he totally learned that lesson.

I think that he genuinely doesn't understand why everyone gets so frustrated. He's like a dog that keeps chewing shoes. "What? I got in trouble for chewing the high heel, so I'm chewing the tennis shoe. TOTALLY DIFFERENT SHOE!"

I think that's a common thought pattern with all the BFC superstars. There seems to be an extreme tendency, as you said, to not recognize patterns of behavior and instead think every issue is individual, and unrelated to previous missteps.

Old Greg
Jun 16, 2008

Robo Boogie Bot posted:

I think that's a common thought pattern with all the BFC superstars. There seems to be an extreme tendency, as you said, to not recognize patterns of behavior and instead think every issue is individual, and unrelated to previous missteps.

Really, very true. Consequently, the moment people realize it's a pattern and not "Wowee yet another one-off coming at the WORST time!" seems to be the turning point.

Unless you're Zaurg and the turning point is accepting the crushing despair of your loveless marriage.

Strep Vote
May 5, 2004

أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

Knyteguy posted:

Paying off my kid's hospital bills in full as soon as they were billed to us
Going from unemployment to a 60,000/yr job
Asking for help regarding our finances, and sticking with it for 2 years acknowledging my own shortcomings, despite massive criticism

I know you're rooting for me QF. I saw what you did in the blue story thread. You're a nice person despite yourself.

lol it's called tough love dipshit

your finances are only a symptom of your issues and can't be fixed until you address those issues IN THERAPY FOR REAL

you evade and elide constantly, but you know you can't run from your escapist tendencies forever. you already admitted you have issues with alcohol WHICH IS OK BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE DO, but now it seems like you're addicted to cigarettes? you probably still drink, too. you trade your addictions and your impulses are a bandaid on whatever cancer you have going on in your head.

Get your poo poo together. It's ok to have problems, it is not ok to know you have problems and then not address them especially if you are a parent to a helpless babby, goddam

Edit: This thread is two years old. Tuyop and Cornholio pulled it together in that amount of time. Meanwhile your thread is still spinning its wheels. There has to be a reason for that.

Strep Vote fucked around with this message at 06:55 on Oct 12, 2015

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Quantum Finger posted:

lol it's called tough love dipshit

your finances are only a symptom of your issues and can't be fixed until you address those issues IN THERAPY FOR REAL

you evade and elide constantly, but you know you can't run from your escapist tendencies forever. you already admitted you have issues with alcohol WHICH IS OK BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE DO, but now it seems like you're addicted to cigarettes? you probably still drink, too. you trade your addictions and your impulses are a bandaid on whatever cancer you have going on in your head.

Get your poo poo together. It's ok to have problems, it is not ok to know you have problems and then not address them especially if you are a parent to a helpless babby, goddam

Edit: This thread is two years old. Tuyop and Cornholio pulled it together in that amount of time. Meanwhile your thread is still spinning its wheels. There has to be a reason for that.

Tuyop's thread went on for 3 years, and had a pretty big catalyst (broken back).

Cornholio's was about 3 years and 3 months or so.

I started drinking and smoking cigarettes in high school for social reasons. I've been a smoker (gross to say) on and off for nearly a decade. I've been an irresponsible drinker in the past, and it's probably best if I quit drinking. For some insight I don't feel like I'm sitting here pounding drinks to numb pain or something. It's a social/relaxing thing (same with cigarettes), that sometimes goes too far. I actually have a plan for drinking, and I'm quitting smoking in 2.5 days. It's heavily budget related so I'll talk about further in this post.

Re: anything else psychological: we don't have insurance, so at the moment I'm stuck with where I'm at. Which thankfully is pretty good. If anything I'm slightly depressed and angry, and a lot of that is financially related.

Old Fart posted:

Hey, KG. Go to YNAB, expand all categories, including hidden. Expand the headers. Make sure August is in view. Screenshot. Post.

Edit: I don't mind if it takes two screenshots.

One of the reasons this query has driven me crazy is because I already did. I've posted two screenshots including August with headers up and headers down + hidden categories. Like 2 weeks ago. However it doesn't make sense, so I've been trying to figure it out.

April posted:

I think part of the problem (aside from completely not understanding how planning works) is that Knyte is an extremely literal thinker. In his mind, if he isn't making the same mistake, it's not a repeated pattern. The problem is, he defines "the same mistake" as EXACTLY the same mistake. So, for example, impulse-buying a car is nothing like breaking a lease and getting hit with a big fee because he didn't read the lease. To Knight, the fact that he's only impulse-bought ONE car means he's learned his lesson and won't impulse-buy another car. He only bought the Oculus Rift ONE TIME GUYS. Same with the PS4, and all the other crap that he had to have right that second. Each time, he has learned his lesson, and won't do it again, and he hasn't bought another PS4, so he totally learned that lesson.

I think that he genuinely doesn't understand why everyone gets so frustrated. He's like a dog that keeps chewing shoes. "What? I got in trouble for chewing the high heel, so I'm chewing the tennis shoe. TOTALLY DIFFERENT SHOE!"

Agreed. One of the ways I want to handle this is by budgeting for the things I/we want instead, despite what the thread may, or may not advise. I don't feel like we've run into too many "oh poo poo something big came up" situations; rather it's been things I feel like we've been depriving ourselves of that eventually turns at least my attitude into apathy. I feel like our next budget will address this.

spwrozek posted:

People stumble and fall. Hopefully he is on the right track and does make progress. I think you have to remember despite some failures there has been some wins (getting a month ahead, paying the baby off up front, the extra car payments). Plenty of work to do but I feel that we shouldn't overlook where things have gone right.

Thanks.

P.S.: Lions are a bad football team again.


Budget update post-weekend:


Biggest thing we need to look out for is groceries. My wife and I will talk about that later. We've been eating at home a lot though. Y'all will notice that we paid ourselves first in November.

Budget modifications in November:
Exercise: +$100/mo saved. We're going to be adding a gym membership or a weight bench/squat rack to the monthly budget. Currently we're probably looking at $240-500/yr with the gym, or about $600 for the home set which includes a few hundred lbs of olympic weights. I told my wife who is the main instigator here that if we save, and count calories to lose weight from here on out, then we'll do this. My own personal thing here is I need to be clean from the time we start saving, to the time we start buying it. Clean being no cigarettes/no alcohol. If we can't or won't do that, then the money can go into something else. I'm all too familiar with "buy thing, use thing temporarily, thing sits". I don't want to save a bunch and then have this happen.

Vacation: +$50/mo saved. This sounds like a done deal as it's even thread recommended. We only need about $600-$700 at the most, as it's easily within road trip distance, and we have a friend to stay with in Vegas which will cut costs. So 1 year here, which gives our son a little time to grow up. 12 hours each way would be a little rough on him and us at the moment.

Furniture: +$20/mo saved. I want some new furniture. I'm loving tired of our poo poo rear end in a top hat couch, and I want to spend a little bit for something that I can lay on from head to toe. Also a new entertainment center because ours is a piece of junk that I bought from Walmart in 2006 and has been falling apart for a long time.

Medical: +$0/mo saved (until I give it more thought). I'm thinking of getting a medical marijuana card for some nagging neck and back pain I've been dealing with since I fractured a vertebrae in my neck when I was 19. This is about $300 initially. I'm holding off to see if exercise first will relieve some of this.

Christmas:: +$50/mo saved, for obvious reasons. This will be a constant from here on out. We'll keep saving $20/mo for other small things. I try to give a little to charity here and there.

All of these are more expensive than their face value due to opportunity costs, and interest we'll pay because we're not putting it towards car debt. I don't care. I think this is a step towards admitting that it's OK to aim for "good" right now. Now if we do this then I god drat expect my wife and I to meet budgeting goals in other areas. This won't be coming out of discretionary, but our other savings. We like our discretionary spending where it's at right now.

I believe this has post has substituted individual replies with a plan of implementation from recent conversation. The idea here is to get us out of the pattern of "does well for 2-3 months, tanks" rinse and repeat.


Again just reply if I missed something you really want to know. There's just too much of a backlog for me to realistically hit anytime soon. It was either this or basically not post for a very long time.


Edit: and I'll recalculate our debt pay off cycle when we're done budgeting for November.
Edit 2: vertebrae not vertebrate.

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 17:32 on Oct 12, 2015

n8r
Jul 3, 2003

I helped Lowtax become a cyborg and all I got was this lousy avatar
Have you settled on how much you will pay on the car per month?

I'd encourage you to shop around for gyms, $100/month seems pretty steep. Consider making a fitness log thread to help you stay on track. Quitting both drinking and smoking makes lots of sense since they go hand in hand. Perhaps far down the road you will be able to drink in moderation without smoking. That being said lots of people are FAR better off just not drinking.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

n8r posted:

Have you settled on how much you will pay on the car per month?

I'd encourage you to shop around for gyms, $100/month seems pretty steep. Consider making a fitness log thread to help you stay on track. Quitting both drinking and smoking makes lots of sense since they go hand in hand. Perhaps far down the road you will be able to drink in moderation without smoking. That being said lots of people are FAR better off just not drinking.

Not yet. I'll be taking the I think you said $5,000/mo to budget, and seeing where everything falls. I like the idea behind that. Our current categories equal roughly $5,076, so we'll be around there. I'd say we can put $1,300-$1,400/mo at the car (including the minimum payment). Maybe much more, and of course potentially less; I'll have a better idea when I draw up the numbers. I may be able to do that today. This might be a total down week since I don't have any tasks at the moment (that project is finally done and will be deployed to prod shortly).

I really like drinking; I think it's fun. I really enjoy the taste of beer, and it's fun to lose some social inhibitions. I understand the downsides too. From a pure health and financial standpoint it's something that needs to go right now though. I didn't drink most of July, August, and September actually.

I like the idea of a TFLC thread, but this one is enough as is. I'm more trying to support my wife here too. She wants to do some fitness stuff, so I want to be there to support her. Like I'm in it 100% with her, but I want her to perhaps be the driving force in this one for awhile if that makes sense.

Edit: oh and gym stuff. There's a few $10/mo gyms in town, but they're always absolutely packed with people where you're waiting like 5-10 minutes for some machines or a bench. The others are about $250-$300/person/yr depending on if you choose an installment plan and a 1-2 year contract, or not. At that point I think we'd rather just buy some free weights. But there's no harm in saving the money, right? As (Horking?) said we can save for it and decide not to actually buy it, or go for an alternative.

Edit 2: And yeah agreed that smoking and drinking go hand in hand. I would have never picked up another cigarette in normal circumstances if I hadn't started to drink again. I had some hubris where I said "I can have a few smokes when I'm drinking", and then after a few times of doing that it was back to smoking again.

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 18:33 on Oct 12, 2015

My Rhythmic Crotch
Jan 13, 2011

KG, you might want to review the past three months for the pets and utilities categories. IIRC pets were 150 on average, utilities I can't remember the average, but it has to be more than 100.

Also remember last Christmas the lesson learned: agree on the gift amounts for family beforehand, so you don't have people getting upset because your gift was a lot less than theirs. We do this every year in my family, works great.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal
Made a lot of edits in my last post.

My Rhythmic Crotch posted:

KG, you might want to review the past three months for the pets and utilities categories. IIRC pets were 150 on average, utilities I can't remember the average, but it has to be more than 100.

Also remember last Christmas the lesson learned: agree on the gift amounts for family beforehand, so you don't have people getting upset because your gift was a lot less than theirs. We do this every year in my family, works great.

We had some leftover utilities budget from September that meant we only had to put $100 in this month; $200 is probably a safe monthly amount, especially now that we have a working programmable thermostat, and we're done watering the lawn. Pets may need an analysis. We did just switch to a slightly cheaper dog food, so that may help. Average on pets is $116 for the past 3 months, and $94 over the past year, but I feel like they've started eating more, more recently.

Good call on the amount on Christmas gift spending per person. I'll see what my wife thinks about that, or maybe she'll want to answer herself. I know we've done that before and I liked that.

Tamba
Apr 5, 2010

Knyteguy posted:

One of the reasons this query has driven me crazy is because I already did. I've posted two screenshots including August with headers up and headers down + hidden categories. Like 2 weeks ago. However it doesn't make sense, so I've been trying to figure it out.

Go to Reports-->Income vs Expense
Select:
Timeframe: August (or something that includes August)
All Accounts
All Payees
Budget Accounts (Accounts-->Select All)

Does this show $6584.12 , $3966.15 or something else?
If it's this former, there have to be categories or accounts that weren't visible in the old screenshot and you should be able to see the culprit in that screen.
If it's the latter, it has to be something you did with an off budget account.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Tamba posted:

Go to Reports-->Income vs Expense
Select:
Timeframe: August (or something that includes August)
All Accounts
All Payees
Budget Accounts (Accounts-->Select All)

Does this show $6584.12 , $3966.15 or something else?
If it's this former, there have to be categories or accounts that weren't visible in the old screenshot and you should be able to see the culprit in that screen.
If it's the latter, it has to be something you did with an off budget account.

Neither assuming outflows are the number that's wanted. $6659.12
Net income -$489

The only thing I can think of is the $1,800 car payment screwing something up.

Old Greg posted:

1. Yes! Good job.
2. Yes. Your work quality's never been in question. Although you're conveniently ignoring the emotional rollercoaster that job has been for you this year AND all of the nothing that visiting recruiters and job hunting has brought you. I wouldn't count that as a failure you have control over, but by the same token I wouldn't count the job as a "I did this! (Alone with my talent)" win either. And there are some weeks you are content to only search local and some weeks you're ready to upend to move to Seattle.
3. To put this as an accomplishment as opposed to "Didn't fail!" is a stretch. Yeah, better to ask and to stick than not, but that was the first step, not some grand end goal you achieved.

Knyte, I and everyone else is trying to tear you down for a reason. You have a really defensive overconfidence going on that, historically? Has not worked. People see your successes. They also see that you could very likely be doing better, and see you out of debt faster, and are trying to lean on you to get that result. Foxatee's right, we have heard this before, that this time you have learned the right lessons, and are going to do it, maybe even get crazy with your budgeting! I've got deja vu. You do seem more defensive than ever though, so that's new! People are trying to put pressure on you so you get defensive about the budget and failing. So instead of coming in to defend how every one of your decisions is right (which I'm sure you'd agree you don't think, but what's the last decision you didn't defend and argue as correct in here?) you are arguing yourself away from purchases, away from smoking, away from things harmful to your budget.

Sometimes people need confidence boosters when down. Sometimes people need others to be hard on them to get an idea through their head when it's being thick. And you certainly feel like you're being thick. It's worrying how you react to advice and questions in this thread lately, because a lot of it the past few weeks has been plenty good and hasn't seemed that adversarial. This forum used to have helldump and I think every poster here watched the dumpster fire that was Blue Story. You're getting people being tough, not needlessly mean. There's a difference.

One more, as I had written up a reply to this one on Friday but gave up while trying to hit everything else.

2) Defensive time again. To be fair here I was looking for jobs that I was hoping would hit a nice niche (Dynamics AX). I haven't applied to a single .NET or web developer role yet, which is kind of stupid because that's where my experience is. I've been working with C# for about 5 years now, and I've been doing web development stuff for nearly 20 years.

I've got deja vu too. I can appreciate the frustration from the circular rhythm of the thread.

Tamba
Apr 5, 2010

Knyteguy posted:

Neither assuming outflows are the number that's wanted. $6659.12
Net income -$489

The only thing I can think of is the $1,800 car payment screwing something up.

Yeah, I mean the outflows.

Is there anything other than these values?
Fixed Expenses (1156.30)
Savings (591.25)
Flexible Spending (1672.83)
Debt (695.77)

These categories only total 4116.15. That means there is something else with a total of 2542.97.

The visible overspends in august are 1.575.88. These two values together add up to 4118,85. Add another $75 (The difference between $6659.12 and $6584.12...no idea where that's from. Did you change the august numbers since that screenshot?) and you're at 4193,85, which is the overspending number for august we're all wondering about.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal
Quick question:

What would you guys (individually) like to see for October, November, and December? If the pattern follows then December or January would be a train wreck. Do you guys think that my plan with the budget is good to help defeat this cycle? If not, why not, and what should I do differently?

ITM
Oct 23, 2010
Just stick to the budget. For all of your flex categories to be under. I think December is going to be your tough one. You like buying things for people and you've not prioritized the money to do so. I'm worried your downfall is going to be that you can't find a nice gift for your mom so you just had to spend $100, or everyone is going in $200 to get your sister a nice [x] because she deserves it and you have to as well because family.

My Rhythmic Crotch
Jan 13, 2011

^ Good call on the pet average amount, I was off.

I'm looking at the month of December on your budget, wondering what about parties, travel, etc, all the usual stuff that comes with holidays. That stuff needs to be accounted for. New Year's travel/celebrations/whatever as well.

Biggest thing going forward is basically, with 20500 left on the car loan, and paying 981 per month, it's still going to take roughly 2 years to pay the car off. That is a long, long haul. If I were in your shoes I would be looking at some combination of a re-fi, selling the car, and finding more to throw at the monthly payments. Given that you have a babby now, that probably means the easiest thing to do is increase you or your wife's income.

Old Fart
Jul 25, 2013

Knyteguy posted:

One of the reasons this query has driven me crazy is because I already did. I've posted two screenshots including August with headers up and headers down + hidden categories. Like 2 weeks ago. However it doesn't make sense, so I've been trying to figure it out.
Then humour me and do it again, because the screenshots I've been looking at don't have all the information. In one of them, the subcategory outflow doesn't even add up with the line items you've shown. There's stuff off the screen.

Go to your hidden categories section and unhide them. Take as many screenshots as it takes and post them.

Also go to all your bank accounts and isolate all outflows for August. Maybe you have $2500 in uncategorized spending, tho YNAB would give an alert for that. You're clearly not making progress, so give me the information I've requested half a dozen times and I will find it.

Pulling teeth with you, dude.

Old Fart fucked around with this message at 20:11 on Oct 12, 2015

Strep Vote
May 5, 2004

أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

Knyteguy posted:

Tuyop's thread went on for 3 years, and had a pretty big catalyst (broken back).

Cornholio's was about 3 years and 3 months or so.

I started drinking and smoking cigarettes in high school for social reasons. I've been a smoker (gross to say) on and off for nearly a decade. I've been an irresponsible drinker in the past, and it's probably best if I quit drinking. For some insight I don't feel like I'm sitting here pounding drinks to numb pain or something. It's a social/relaxing thing (same with cigarettes), that sometimes goes too far. I actually have a plan for drinking, and I'm quitting smoking in 2.5 days. It's heavily budget related so I'll talk about further in this post.

Re: anything else psychological: we don't have insurance, so at the moment I'm stuck with where I'm at. Which thankfully is pretty good. If anything I'm slightly depressed and angry, and a lot of that is financially related.

I really don't care about your smoking or drinking (I've done both), because such things are displacement activities. They aren't the real problem. Do you know when you might get insurance? JO at her new job in a couple of months maybe? Just... try to mitigate all damage before then and then find a loving therapist, PLEASE, and be totally honest with them. The aforementioned posters made far more progress in their time than you have, and it's not because they are better than you. IIRC Tuyop was faithfully taking his meds and Cornholio had his emotional poo poo together even regarding his marriage which looked pretty shaky for a while.

How about this, so that you feel like someone who is making GBS threads on you is being equally vulnerable? I'm looking for a new therapist up here in the PNW right now. Just left a message with a guy telling him I have a broken brain and would he please see me? It doesn't matter that our issues are different, just that you are not addressing the issues that, if resolved or confronted, could make your life sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much easier. Call a bunch of hotlines until they are sick of you unloading on them or whatever, and if/when (HOPEFULLY gently caress THIS COUNTRY) you get some mental healthcare coverage, you find someone and be completely honest with them about everything. You have such a tendency to look through rose tinted glasses--which is better than looking through poo poo-tinted glasses, at least in the short term--that it's hard for you as well as everyone in this thread to really assess where you are. Reality is not the enemy, it's your friend. If you know the reality, you can diagnose your problem.

I'm really trying to reach you here. You have issues that PREVENT you from reaching your goals and I want you to acknowledge that. Your last therapist told you to exercise, but you need way more than that and THAT IS OK.

GET HYPE TO GET BETTER, KNYTEBYTCH

My Rhythmic Crotch
Jan 13, 2011

Quantum Finger posted:

You have issues that PREVENT you from reaching your goals
In my estimation, not really. The 100 bux per month on cigarettes or whatever is bad, yes. No dodging that. But it is certainly not "preventing" anything. They'll be debt free regardless.

Strep Vote
May 5, 2004

أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

My Rhythmic Crotch posted:

In my estimation, not really. The 100 bux per month on cigarettes or whatever is bad, yes. No dodging that. But it is certainly not "preventing" anything. They'll be debt free regardless.

Oh right. I forgot. That's totally what's been holding him back all these years. The cigarettes. The hundred bucks a month. On cigarettes.



Yup, that's it, nothing else. Nooooooo other problems at all.

My Rhythmic Crotch
Jan 13, 2011

Quantum Finger posted:

Oh right. I forgot. That's totally what's been holding him back all these years. The cigarettes. The hundred bucks a month. On cigarettes.



Yup, that's it, nothing else. Nooooooo other problems at all.
I attempted to parse your post and that's what I came away with. :shrug:

Strep Vote
May 5, 2004

أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

My Rhythmic Crotch posted:

I attempted to parse your post and that's what I came away with. :shrug:

Glad I could help.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

ITM posted:

Just stick to the budget. For all of your flex categories to be under. I think December is going to be your tough one. You like buying things for people and you've not prioritized the money to do so. I'm worried your downfall is going to be that you can't find a nice gift for your mom so you just had to spend $100, or everyone is going in $200 to get your sister a nice [x] because she deserves it and you have to as well because family.

Agreed this is my goal, too. We'll stick to budget with gifts somehow. We're not traveling this year, so that will be nice.

My Rhythmic Crotch posted:

^ Good call on the pet average amount, I was off.

I'm looking at the month of December on your budget, wondering what about parties, travel, etc, all the usual stuff that comes with holidays. That stuff needs to be accounted for. New Year's travel/celebrations/whatever as well.

Biggest thing going forward is basically, with 20500 left on the car loan, and paying 981 per month, it's still going to take roughly 2 years to pay the car off. That is a long, long haul. If I were in your shoes I would be looking at some combination of a re-fi, selling the car, and finding more to throw at the monthly payments. Given that you have a babby now, that probably means the easiest thing to do is increase you or your wife's income.

Hm well according to the CK calculator, if we can do $1400 to the car every month then we're looking at March 2017, $1600 is January 2017. I have a feeling my wife will be getting a raise within 6-12 months from now. Other departments are already trying to steal her from her job as she's shown a lot of competency.

Quantum Finger posted:

I really don't care about your smoking or drinking (I've done both), because such things are displacement activities. They aren't the real problem. Do you know when you might get insurance? JO at her new job in a couple of months maybe? Just... try to mitigate all damage before then and then find a loving therapist, PLEASE, and be totally honest with them. The aforementioned posters made far more progress in their time than you have, and it's not because they are better than you. IIRC Tuyop was faithfully taking his meds and Cornholio had his emotional poo poo together even regarding his marriage which looked pretty shaky for a while.

How about this, so that you feel like someone who is making GBS threads on you is being equally vulnerable? I'm looking for a new therapist up here in the PNW right now. Just left a message with a guy telling him I have a broken brain and would he please see me? It doesn't matter that our issues are different, just that you are not addressing the issues that, if resolved or confronted, could make your life sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much easier. Call a bunch of hotlines until they are sick of you unloading on them or whatever, and if/when (HOPEFULLY gently caress THIS COUNTRY) you get some mental healthcare coverage, you find someone and be completely honest with them about everything. You have such a tendency to look through rose tinted glasses--which is better than looking through poo poo-tinted glasses, at least in the short term--that it's hard for you as well as everyone in this thread to really assess where you are. Reality is not the enemy, it's your friend. If you know the reality, you can diagnose your problem.

I'm really trying to reach you here. You have issues that PREVENT you from reaching your goals and I want you to acknowledge that. Your last therapist told you to exercise, but you need way more than that and THAT IS OK.

GET HYPE TO GET BETTER, KNYTEBYTCH

Insurance will probably be November, or that's the last month and then it's December.

I've definitely been honest with my therapist in the past. I know I said he told me to exercise, but we were working through some death's in my family for about a year before that. I feel like I managed to reach some closure in that department. I've got some anxiety stuff going on (which leads to the drinking), and my therapist let me know that Xanax would be a valid choice for me, but I'm just so reluctant to get meds, and especially benzodiazepines because of all the dependency problems that they can create.

After acknowledging the above I think CBT would be good for the money stuff. Change the way I think, feel, and act about money, or at least financial decisions. I've made progress here, but as you said I can probably make progress much more quickly otherwise. Since the time I was very little I've been told "that money is burning a hole in your pocket" so I'm not so sure it's purely emotional damage or scarring that affects my behavior, or if it's potentially a genetic predisposition, or what.

I'll keep this in mind. I'm having trouble figuring out more to say. Thanks for sharing. It does help to hear personal experiences.

Tamba posted:

Yeah, I mean the outflows.

Is there anything other than these values?
Fixed Expenses (1156.30)
Savings (591.25)
Flexible Spending (1672.83)
Debt (695.77)

These categories only total 4116.15. That means there is something else with a total of 2542.97.

The visible overspends in august are 1.575.88. These two values together add up to 4118,85. Add another $75 (The difference between $6659.12 and $6584.12...no idea where that's from. Did you change the august numbers since that screenshot?) and you're at 4193,85, which is the overspending number for august we're all wondering about.

I didn't change the numbers, no. $75 is my monthly income from my website hosting; but that would be positive not negative.

Old Fart posted:

Then humour me and do it again, because the screenshots I've been looking at don't have all the information. In one of them, the subcategory outflow doesn't even add up with the line items you've shown. There's stuff off the screen.

Go to your hidden categories section and unhide them. Take as many screenshots as it takes and post them.

Also go to all your bank accounts and isolate all outflows for August. Maybe you have $2500 in uncategorized spending, tho YNAB would give an alert for that. You're clearly not making progress, so give me the information I've requested half a dozen times and I will find it.

Pulling teeth with you, dude.

I feel the same way :arghfist:. What's the value in this. Assuming the numbers are correct, what insight will this provide? How will it help me moving forward?

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 21:27 on Oct 12, 2015

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Old Fart
Jul 25, 2013

Knyteguy posted:

I'm thinking of getting a medical marijuana card
Are you still hoping to be available to start a new job? Medical or not, employers in Nevada don't like a positive drug screen. I speak from experience here. Remember how you justified your car in part for all these interviews you'll be going on?

I'm a fan of weed, but this kind of thing should come out of your own discretionary, and in a way where you're actually accountable for it. It should also wait until you're stable financially and career-wise.

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