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Reminds me of one of the few dumb army sayings that I found legitimately amusing. Lift with your privates, not with your back. Oh god, does that mean the army is getting inside my brain and changing me? Pretty soon I'm going to be knife handing my dog.  Mustang posted:I thought that's what privates are for You're not done being disillusioned by how the Army is, yet. Go turn some stuff into CIF.
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Oct 15, 2015 00:51
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| # ? Jun 6, 2024 12:14 |
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Soulex posted:I'm a triple private How does a sergeant end up pulling weeds? The second I became a team leader as an E4 I gave that poo poo up.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:12
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at some point, you either sit there and watch your joes do dumb poo poo and duck away, or you just jump in and help because the sooner its done the better for everyone. But I mean if you just want to poo poo on everyone else without actually doing anything then you'll make a great CSM
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Oct 15, 2015 01:13
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There's some fat piece of poo poo dude at my work who is always talking about his  navy days and you can tell they fundamentally broke him. He was asking about when I went skydiving, if the army would give me a ration of poo poo if I got injured, "being property of Uncle Sam." I kinda accidentally snapped back, "gently caress 'em, I'll be dead," You'd have thought I'd told him the troops are scum with how weirdly offended he looked. I suppose lately, I kind of HAVE been implying that generally, the army is dumb and that troops are generally idiots, though. Case in point: Hillary Clintons Thong posted:the sooner its done the better for everyone. lol if u believe this. Wasabi the J fucked around with this message at 01:21 on Oct 15, 2015 |
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Oct 15, 2015 01:18
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Obstacle2 posted:How does a sergeant end up pulling weeds? The second I became a team leader as an E4 I gave that poo poo up. That's more or less what I was getting at but I'm an idiot Hillary Clintons Thong posted:at some point, you either sit there and watch your joes do dumb poo poo and duck away, or you just jump in and help because the sooner its done the better for everyone. But I mean if you just want to poo poo on everyone else without actually doing anything then you'll make a great CSM Alright that makes more sense, because I would feel like a tremendous piece of poo poo if my platoon had to pull weeds while I did nothing. A SFC at ABOLC was telling me to always make sure any white space in the training schedule is filled in with something because someone higher up will find something dumb for your platoon to do once they see that you aren't busy.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:20
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oh if youre an officer and try to pick weeds then lol. Like people would probably freak out and they dont want the LT in their little smoke pit weed pulling session, and no doubt some higher officer would berate you for commiserating with us lowly enlisted.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:23
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That's why you just stretch out whatever time that you do need, then finish "early" and have everyone duck out.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:24
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Wasabi the J posted:lol if u believe this. in the case of "we need to pull these weeds" before we can have "final formation" which wont be until the 1SG is done talking sports with the platoon sergeants in the training room way then yes. ITS The SPIRIT MAN NOT THE REALITY OK
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Oct 15, 2015 01:25
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Mustang posted:A SFC at ABOLC was telling me to always make sure any white space in the training schedule is filled in with something because someone higher up will find something dumb for your platoon to do once they see that you aren't busy. this is somehow worse than "at basic my drill sergeant said..." so congrats on that, i guess
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Oct 15, 2015 01:28
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:oh if youre an officer and try to pick weeds then lol. Like people would probably freak out and they dont want the LT in their little smoke pit weed pulling session, and no doubt some higher officer would berate you for commiserating with us lowly enlisted. I spent most of my time running interference on O6s and generals to keep them away from my Joes. Because Joes oftentimes believe in the result over the process, and that doesn't quite sit well with high ranking officers.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:30
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I'm having trouble even imagining a LT picking weeds or sweeping the road or doing brass detail. gently caress, why didn't I go officer?
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Oct 15, 2015 01:31
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I have never seen a general eager to see joes so I call bullshit.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:31
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Mustang posted:
In my company for the privilege of leadership you had to show up at 5:15 and stand in formation while the 1st Sgt asked each of us what every single one of our soldiers would be doing during the entire day and then be told how we are all pieces of poo poo and our soldiers are pieces of poo poo, all before the normal army company formation at 6. My first few months at this unit included being released to go home by the company commander only to be taken to a basement and smoked collectively as privates for the crime of basically not joining the army sooner every day. I treated my soldiers like human beings and tried to prevent them from suffering all the terrible poo poo I did, not going to feel guilty for not picking up cigarette butts and weeds or whatever. Sitting out of police calls is literally the only benefit I got from being in a leadership position.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:32
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:I have never seen a general eager to see joes so I call bullshit. We were working some high visibility projects, so they mostly wanted to see what the gently caress their CUOPS guys kept going on about during command and staff.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:33
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:in the case of "we need to pull these weeds" before we can have "final formation" which wont be until the 1SG is done talking sports with the platoon sergeants in the training room way then yes. We finished "early" right before the loving 1SG wanted to see every E4 individually to tell most of them they're ineligible for promotion due to new fuckery, after giving a brief wherein he got the names of the ten people who were eligible. Each brief took ten minutes at a minimum. There are forty two soldiers in the detachment, all squad leaders report to me when I'm done with this.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:33
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I'm so glad I haven't had to deal with the army outside of like 5 other people for the past 4 years. Like I was pondering going back to FORSCOM and its like "the horror....." edit: whats CUOPS Command Uniform inspectiOn Police Squad CHICKEN SHOES fucked around with this message at 01:38 on Oct 15, 2015 |
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Oct 15, 2015 01:36
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Mustang posted:
This is actually motivation for a lot of enlisted to try for a commission.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:38
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Holy poo poo, I gotta keep in mind that I scored big time when they decided to kick my broken rear end out because both my first sergeant and CO got QSPd around the same time as my med board started so they gave as few fucks as humanly possible.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:39
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I'm looking forward to deployment because maybe I'll get shot and get out of the army, but then they'd probably make the medboard arduous and terrible, but I repeat myself.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:39
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ohoh oh please tell me despite direct guidance from CSMA that people are flipping out over making you get new uniforms 
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Oct 15, 2015 01:40
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Wasabi the J posted:I'm looking forward to deployment because maybe I'll get shot and get out of the army, but then they'd probably make the medboard arduous and terrible, but I repeat myself. Despite the fact that it very possibly broke my brain for life, my deployment to Iraq is still probably the best part (least lovely) of my enlistment.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:41
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lol if your daily life as a private in your unit didn't include living in barracks at 115% capacity where every evening your team leaders white gloved your room and if anyone in your platoon failed everyone had to shuttle their room in its entirety to the drill pad (dress right dress!!!) until you made it to their hosed up version of perfect just lol
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Oct 15, 2015 01:42
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:ohoh oh please tell me despite direct guidance from CSMA that people are flipping out over making you get new uniforms National Guts hasn't started flipping out yet. E: lol autocorrect
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Oct 15, 2015 01:42
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sorry i was asking people in the Army?
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Oct 15, 2015 01:43
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Fucitol posted:lol if your daily life as a private in your unit didn't include living in barracks at 115% capacity where every evening your team leaders white gloved your room and if anyone in your platoon failed everyone had to shuttle their room in its entirety to the drill pad (dress right dress!!!) until you made it to their hosed up version of perfec Lmao every evening More like my platoon sergeant at 5am. And if anyone's room was dirty was dirty then the team leaders had to supervise us all cleaning the barracks at the end of the duty day. We all just eventually resigned to the fact that he would find something and just accepted that we would have to clean the entire barracks three times a week. It was like basic training never ended.
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Oct 15, 2015 01:44
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i was a PIECE OF poo poo SERGEANT because I didn't knock on my soldiers doors at like 3am to make sure they made it to formation at 0630. Nor did I worry if they had so much as a can in the trash at any given time. give a soldier a trash can, freak out if they use it. Like yeah maybe not if its overflowing and looking like Hoarders Buried Alive but lol gently caress man I need pot. I'm so glad I'm out this is a good thing
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Oct 15, 2015 01:45
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Cole posted:Lmao every evening gently caress the army is so cool why would anyone think otherwise
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Oct 15, 2015 01:58
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I was gonna go on some diatribe about my experiences and how I had mostly good dudes in charge of me that mostly kept the idiots and bullshit in check but then I realized that I'm out and don't give a gently caress about the army anymore lol. Even just thinking about it I realize the reptile part of my brain is trying to bring up battered house wife syndrome that the army tries to inject into your head. Can't let that bullshit rose colored glasses thinking infest my brain.
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Oct 15, 2015 02:00
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Room cleaning tip to you young soldiers. Dust once a week, stuff poo poo in drawers. Pour about a gallon of bleach on your doorstep. Just so that it smells clean and not like man rear end. Like everything else in the army its just all fake and about appearances with no substance rhyme or reason 
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Oct 15, 2015 02:00
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:i was a PIECE OF poo poo SERGEANT because I didn't knock on my soldiers doors at like 3am to make sure they made it to formation at 0630. Nor did I worry if they had so much as a can in the trash at any given time. Pretty much. The weed detail was cause the new CSM bitched to the 1SGs about the super exclusive gated parking lot had weeds in the road, so the 1SGs hey you'd a lot of privates and poo poo. Mine told my NCOIC he needed someone, and since he is super MOTO and hates that I gives fucks had me go down and do it. Since his office is literally next to mine and no one else was there, there wasn't a way to sham out. Especially since his window looks out that way. The detail started to get chewed out by some dickweed CPT because I told them to take a break and he saw me "working" (I was moving stuff). I worked because I had taken two oxy, didn't feel much pain and it was something to do. Plus I don't believe in that sit back and do nothing bullshit unless it deals with poop or trash.
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Oct 15, 2015 02:41
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:Room cleaning tip to you young soldiers. Dust once a week, stuff poo poo in drawers. Pour about a gallon of bleach on your doorstep. Just so that it smells clean and not like man rear end. Like everything else in the army its just all fake and about appearances with no substance rhyme or reason This is wisdom. Also because some NCOs started getting lovely about the grout between tiles in the bathroom being slightly off-white, I would pour white cleaning powder on the floor, sweep it lightly so that it would fill in over the grout, then mop lightly so that it would get wet and solidify there. Held long enough for inspection. Also a bunch of posters of chicks with guns distracted the hell out of any inspecting NCO, which helped out too. You know what's great? Not being in the Army anymore.
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Oct 15, 2015 02:41
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The Rat posted:You know what's great? Not being in the Army anymore. Can never be said enough.
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Oct 15, 2015 02:50
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The Rat posted:You know what's great? Not being in the Army anymore. This, echoing into infinity. Every time I start to get nostalgic I remember that a grown man went through my room and gave me poo poo for having one paper towel in my garbage can. Then a bunch of other supposedly grown men agreed with him and smoked the poo poo out of me. Thinking about it now it seems like the craziest thing I could loving imagine.
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Oct 15, 2015 03:11
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cross post from the recruiting thread because i'm stoned and didnt want this work of loving art  to have been a wasteThe loving PROBLEM with USAREC is so fundamentally obvious but no one wants to admit it. The people in charge of it now, enlisted wise, E8s and 9s, earned their stupid rings and poo poo in 2006 or so, when you could get a rubberstamped waiver for just about anything, could give out 20k for 18month enlistments and poo poo. They can't understand why us calling the same 800 kids homes every day 1700-1900 wasn't getting results. Who ever gets a good call on their homeline if they have one still? It's all telemarkers but hey ma'am i'm the army lol canna I steal your kids? Like, these kids born in 1997 who have heard pretty much "A BUNCH OF ARMY GUYS DIED AND LOST THE WARS IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN" ever since they stopped wearing diapers might not want to join. Or that like due to the armies incredibly low standards when our so called experienced dudes wrote everything with a pulse has destroyed whatever truth there may have been behind "a professional organization in which you can learn SKILLZ" and its a loving joke how low our standards in relations to other branches are now which only hurt further. Leetttsssssssssss seeee. Cool advertising? Navy is all loving THE NAVY GONNA gently caress YOU UP FOR FREEDOM, USMC and their Dragons, everyone in the USAF is an F16 pilot. The Army is like uuuhhh and plays the middle ground which is so loving annoying. Oh and for promotional materials? Try taking this loving poo poo in a High School and believe it is in the best interests of attracting new applicants: SEE DOWN NOTHING FOLLOWS OORAH ok i'll stop CHICKEN SHOES fucked around with this message at 03:49 on Oct 15, 2015 |
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Oct 15, 2015 03:42
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I need to print this entire thread off and give it to each of the kids in my company who are dying to go active.
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Oct 15, 2015 03:45
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jfc
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Oct 15, 2015 03:47
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:cross post from the recruiting thread because i'm stoned and didnt want this work of loving art That poster is pretty much the army going: 
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Oct 15, 2015 03:47
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yes yes indeed. I forget how to make something a thumbnail so imma delete it from my original post thanks for quoting
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Oct 15, 2015 03:48
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swiped left
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Oct 15, 2015 03:48
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| # ? Jun 6, 2024 12:14 |
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lol are you like seriously mad about the jiffymix thing because uh was a joke my friend
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Oct 15, 2015 03:49
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