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Arx Monolith
May 4, 2007

death .cab for qt posted:

During the meantime, the friend playing the monk is rolling a paladin with 4 INT who is a worshipper of the lost god "Airs" and wants to bring the message of Airs to everyone he can.

It's Ares.

Shouldn't an idiot pronounce it Arrrrrs?
Or is a 4 INT make him a double idiot that pronounces wrong pronunciations wrong?

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bawk
Mar 31, 2013

Arx Monolith posted:

Shouldn't an idiot pronounce it Arrrrrs?
Or is a 4 INT make him a double idiot that pronounces wrong pronunciations wrong?

How do you pronounce wares

Or shares

Or scares

Hwurmp
May 20, 2005

He should pronounce it "arse." Idiots would love a god named Arse.

Arx Monolith
May 4, 2007

death .cab for qt posted:

How do you pronounce wares

Or shares

Or scares

Say ARE. Add an S.
English is awful. Example: Ghoti is pronounced 'fish'.

bawk
Mar 31, 2013

Arx Monolith posted:

Say ARE. Add an S.
English is awful. Example: Ghoti is pronounced 'fish'.

Thanks for nitpicking a mispronunciation for not being a correct mispronunciation, I guess? It's totally valid either way, it just isn't your mispronunciation.

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
Had a good moment.

Was testing Masks again, playing Escher, a kid with Illusion Control and Power Negation.

He was going up against a psychic controlling a horde of minions. Escher steps up from behind cover, gets the guy's attention with a middle finger, and destroys the psychic link with the perfect gesture: The fingergun-to-temple, 'Blow Your Brains Out.'

Golden Bee fucked around with this message at 08:23 on Jan 8, 2018

Arx Monolith
May 4, 2007

death .cab for qt posted:

It's totally valid either way.

True. Wasn't nitpicking. Just telling how I read it wrong when I saw it.

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin
Jul 19, 2000


Oven Wrangler

Samizdata posted:

I will not lie, however. Anytime the players in any of my campaigns start being really clever with their limited resources, I start cutting them slack.
A campaign I was in recently wrapped up. It was a low-magic setting, and the few spells available tended to be based on classic D&D spells. Spells at level up were randomized, too, so we had a player end up with Magic Mouth. Generally not the most useful spell, but we wrung every last bit of usefulness out of it. There were a lot of conversations like this:

(party is fighting a troll)
:): So the magic mouth... I can place it on any surface, right?
:rolldice:: Anything you can see within 10 feet, sure.
:): And it repeats whatever I say? At the same volume?
:rolldice:: ... Yes.
:): I move to flank the troll, then cast a magic mouth inside his ear canal.
:): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Magic mouth: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Troll: (fails mind save) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:

A campaign I was in recently wrapped up. It was a low-magic setting, and the few spells available tended to be based on classic D&D spells. Spells at level up were randomized, too, so we had a player end up with Magic Mouth. Generally not the most useful spell, but we wrung every last bit of usefulness out of it. There were a lot of conversations like this:

(party is fighting a troll)
:): So the magic mouth... I can place it on any surface, right?
:rolldice:: Anything you can see within 10 feet, sure.
:): And it repeats whatever I say? At the same volume?
:rolldice:: ... Yes.
:): I move to flank the troll, then cast a magic mouth inside his ear canal.
:): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Magic mouth: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Troll: (fails mind save) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I had a magic user con man who used to use magic mouth to create bogus magic items [idea boosted shamelessly from dragon magazine, I think] by casting it on an item with order to never speak.

Daggers, swords, shields, armor. Detect magic says it's 'magical' so now it's worth more.

Wait, someone cast identify on one of my previous sales? Now is the perfect time to move on to the next town.

CzarChasm
Mar 14, 2009

I don't like it when you're watching me eat.

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:

A campaign I was in recently wrapped up. It was a low-magic setting, and the few spells available tended to be based on classic D&D spells. Spells at level up were randomized, too, so we had a player end up with Magic Mouth. Generally not the most useful spell, but we wrung every last bit of usefulness out of it. There were a lot of conversations like this:

(party is fighting a troll)
:): So the magic mouth... I can place it on any surface, right?
:rolldice:: Anything you can see within 10 feet, sure.
:): And it repeats whatever I say? At the same volume?
:rolldice:: ... Yes.
:): I move to flank the troll, then cast a magic mouth inside his ear canal.
:): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Magic mouth: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Troll: (fails mind save) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I can't stop laughing at this. I love creative interpretations of spells and actions.

Arx Monolith
May 4, 2007
I've always heard arguments against it, but I see no problem casting Create Water (2 gallons) into somebody's lungs, mouth, or generally inside a living thing.

Magic is a tool. It can be used as intended or used in any other way.

Ignite Memories
Feb 27, 2005

The argument against it being that it turns a 0-level cleric orison into power word: kill.

PhotoKirk
Jul 2, 2007

insert witty text here

GaryLeeLoveBuckets posted:


John: "4,810 damage."
Shelby: "Okay, my turn?"
John: "...you survived that?"
Shelby: "Yeah, you need weapons that are +2 or better to hurt me. So my turn?" :smaug:

At that point John just conceded and let himself get murdered.

John should have kicked him down a well. No fanfare, nothing flashy, just *kick* *splash*.

"Hope you got a +2 rope..."

Evilreaver
Feb 26, 2007

GEORGE IS GETTIN' AUGMENTED!
Dinosaur Gum

PhotoKirk posted:

John should have kicked him down a well. No fanfare, nothing flashy, just *kick* *splash*.

"Hope you got a +2 rope..."

"My dodge/parry skills are off the charts and I'm much less encumbered than you are, armor-guy. When does this bubble drop?"
A: A few turns
-"I'll stall until the bubble drops then run inside and get my godgear."
B: TO THE DEATH
-"Well then, I guess one of us is going to die of thirst. How's that armor feeling?"

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Arx Monolith posted:

I've always heard arguments against it, but I see no problem casting Create Water (2 gallons) into somebody's lungs, mouth, or generally inside a living thing.

Magic is a tool. It can be used as intended or used in any other way.
There's already a spell that does exactly that and it is shockingly called Drown. It's a 6th level Druid spell. If you don't see the issue with recreating a 6th level spell with a cantrip/orison, then I can't help you.

Dirk the Average
Feb 7, 2012

"This may have been a mistake."

Arx Monolith posted:

I've always heard arguments against it, but I see no problem casting Create Water (2 gallons) into somebody's lungs, mouth, or generally inside a living thing.

Magic is a tool. It can be used as intended or used in any other way.

If it's 3.5 there is a rule for where Conjuration spells can be cast. You cannot, for instance, create a horizontal wall of iron unsopported in the air over the enemy or water in the lungs. You can certainly fill up a room or a pit with water regardless of what is in it, but creatures still get to hold their breath.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.

Arx Monolith posted:

I've always heard arguments against it, but I see no problem casting Create Water (2 gallons) into somebody's lungs, mouth, or generally inside a living thing.

Magic is a tool. It can be used as intended or used in any other way.

"Magic is a tool," says a guy who then describes a Not-Tool.

Arx Monolith
May 4, 2007

Ignite Memories posted:

The argument against it being that it turns a 0-level cleric orison into power word: kill.
Aren't all damage causing spells basically "power word: kill" on weak enough enemies?

Yawgmoth posted:

There's already a spell that does exactly that and it is shockingly called Drown. It's a 6th level Druid spell. If you don't see the issue with recreating a 6th level spell with a cantrip/orison, then I can't help you.
That's like saying you can't clobber a guy with a hammer, because you have to wait until you can afford a big heavy spiked mace. It's called resourcefulness.

Dirk the Average posted:

If it's 3.5 there is a rule for where Conjuration spells can be cast. You cannot, for instance, create a horizontal wall of iron unsopported in the air over the enemy or water in the lungs. You can certainly fill up a room or a pit with water regardless of what is in it, but creatures still get to hold their breath.
Well that rule isn't very fun sounding. Good thing they're actually guidelines.

Megaman's Jockstrap posted:

"Magic is a tool," says a guy who then describes a Not-Tool.
How is magic not a tool? That's the argument in whole heap o' fiction where people fear magic. Good wizard posits that magic is a tool and can be used for either good or evil. That's like saying a hammer isn't a tool. It's a hammer. You may only hammer with it.

Caphi
Jan 6, 2012

INCREDIBLE
Because no one wants to play a heroic fantasy game where any magician can make you drown with a thought, and there's no inherent reason the rules should allow any magician to be able to do so.

djw175
Apr 23, 2012

by zen death robot

Arx Monolith posted:

How is magic not a tool? That's the argument in whole heap o' fiction where people fear magic. Good wizard posits that magic is a tool and can be used for either good or evil. That's like saying a hammer isn't a tool. It's a hammer. You may only hammer with it.

You don't want magic to be a tool. You want it to straight up be the solution.

Ignite Memories
Feb 27, 2005

Arx Monolith posted:

Aren't all damage causing spells basically "power word: kill" on weak enough enemies?

Most damage causing spells cannot be cast an infinite number of times per day by lowly deacons.

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Arx Monolith posted:

That's like saying you can't clobber a guy with a hammer, because you have to wait until you can afford a big heavy spiked mace. It's called resourcefulness.
It's more like saying you can't make your sword vorpal by buying a whetstone. Even ignoring the absurdity of a 0-level kill spell, there's the unambiguous text right in the loving spell: "Note: Conjuration spells can’t create substances or objects within a creature." There's a million and one ways to be broken as a spellcaster at just about any level, why would you need another? :psyduck:

Dirk the Average
Feb 7, 2012

"This may have been a mistake."

Arx Monolith posted:

Well that rule isn't very fun sounding. Good thing they're actually guidelines.

In 3.5 it's a rule for a very good reason and applies to Conjuration (Creation) spells. A 0th level spell should not enable an instant kill on large swaths of enemies (keep in mind that the amount of water created is huge when compared to the volume of lungs.

Create Water has tons of uses. It's a phenomenal spell capable of being used in incredibly creative ways without being an instant kill. Dig a trench with one spell, fill it with Create Water. Need to cross a narrow gap? Fill it with water and swim. Want to disorient attackers in a hallway? Create Water is an instant flash flood.

Taking away the auto-drown forces more creativity, not less. With auto-drowning on groups of critters allowed, it's just about the only spell you'll ever cast in combat.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.

Arx Monolith posted:

How is magic not a tool? That's the argument in whole heap o' fiction where people fear magic. Good wizard posits that magic is a tool and can be used for either good or evil. That's like saying a hammer isn't a tool. It's a hammer. You may only hammer with it.

Are you for real?

Lichtenstein
May 31, 2012

It'll make sense, eventually.
That's why I like games with defined magic schools, where you can do a bunch of spells based on a specific thing/theme, forcing the player to bend over backwards to make that thing fit whatever problem you're facing. I got converted by my old 7th Sea group Porte mage - a guy who had to spend 2/3 of his points on the lone gimmick of opening small portals. Yet, as the two Portal video game taught us, with enough creativity you can stretch that tool into innumerable solutions.

I also liked what Greg Stolze did in Nain: in general, you cast spells combining magic words. So something like "fire" and "move away" could be used to blow out a candle. Now, the entire clever gimmick laid in the fact, several strategic words, such as "human" were deliberately omitted from the fairly short list.

Mendrian
Jan 6, 2013

Create Water is a great example. A caster can cast it all day and solve all kinds of problems with it. It's a great spell and a good tool without making it a kill.

Consider that a Fighter can cast "hit with sword" for the entirety of his career and it probably has fewer applications than Create Water.

Synthbuttrange
May 6, 2007

Gonna cast create water and give all those orcs an enema.

Mendrian
Jan 6, 2013

SynthOrange posted:

Gonna cast create water and give all those orcs an enema.

Just one of many overpowered applications.

Hwurmp
May 20, 2005

SynthOrange posted:

Gonna cast create water and give all those orcs an enema.

excuse me but it is clearly a cleric spell not a colonic spell

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
People in medieval settings had bad diets, malnutrition is a disease right? Medical colonics totally fall under "remove disease".

poo poo, does remove disease even exist? Oh wait, this isn't the 5e thread.

Railing Kill
Nov 14, 2008

You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.
The chat about using 0-level spells in overpowered ways is a conversation every group has had at some point (hopefully in middle school or high school). If the group agrees to do poo poo like that, go for it. I just pity whoever is trying to facilitate an interesting game out of that nonsense.

It reminds me of a thought exercise we used to do with old Mage (because new Mage isn't nearly as broken): think of the most creative and/or horrifying ways to one-hit kill a person using any combination of spheres, but none of them could be higher than 2 dots. The difference here is that we would do that just sitting around chatting for a few minutes, not around a table with some poor sap trying to run a game. Creativity is one thing but it has to make way for a good, collaborative game, because there's other forms of creativity that get squashed by power-maxing bullshit all the time.

Frush
Jun 26, 2008

Arx Monolith posted:


Well that rule isn't very fun sounding. Good thing they're actually guidelines.


In later editions anyway, there's one extra hurdle to the specific case of using create water to directly fill someone's lungs; line of sight. You'd only be able to see as far as the mouth, and less when an enemy shut it. I'm not sure, since I've never looked at it, but I bet the targeting rules are different for drown.

All that aside, the nice thing is that if a DM decides its a particularly epic thing to do, they can always allow it. If a player is just being a dick and trying to get an easy insta-kill, then you can always just rule against it as DM for any reason you choose, based on rules or not. Might be fun to make a BBEG choke on surprise water in the middle of a monologue either way.

SkeletonHero
Sep 7, 2010

:dehumanize:
:killing:
:dehumanize:
A newer DM back in college didn't quite grasp how magic worked and let something similar happen... with Prestidigitation.

SkeletonHero fucked around with this message at 08:37 on Oct 22, 2015

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Frush posted:

Might be fun to make a BBEG choke on surprise water in the middle of a monologue either way.
Magical monologue-killing water balloon is a fantastic use of Create Water.

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
Back to Stories

In my 13th Age game, the GM loved tying plotlines into character backstories. That led to the introduction of the Tiefling's brother, a shirtless bishonen based on Devil May Cry. While he was originally an rear end in a top hat who plotted against the group, he spent the rest of his time being fawned over by the mostly female party. This pissed off the tiefling so much that we declared everything involving her sibling as "Phase X of operation: Hot Brother."

---

I played a game of The Lady Blackbird. It easily makes the top 10 of role-playing experiences I've ever had, because everyone stayed true to their characters and everyone wanted different things.

In TLB, The Lady Blackbird flees the imperium to marry her beloved, the pirate captain Uriah Flint. She meets up with a pirate crew and they started captured.

The titular Lady Blackbird was an aristocratic snob, nearly ruining a prison escape because she refused to lie down on the dirty floor. That escape saw my character, ex-pitfighter turned bodyguard Naomi, disable four soldiers in one attack, cracking two of them against the bars and knocking two unconscious "because I didn't have a good angle."
This disgusted Snargle, the physiologically bizarre Goblin pilot. (Unbeknownst to everyone, he would later take the opportunity to visit a church and confess for not being able to stop my character.)

The group escaped the prison in one of the most amazing ways the GM had seen. Simultaneously, in a five minute window, we:
*had the ship refueled (as the captain ordered around the flight crew)
*bluffed the control tower that we were pretending to let the rebels escape^
*disabled the communications receiver so that they couldn't even report we were gone.

After that, we flew our ship (The Owl) around to the back of our captor (The Hand of Sorrow) and were faced by a problem...there was an active turret right near the receiver port.

So we flew 15 feet out and 100 feet below, and had the burglar 1st mate LEAP to our hangar gate.

And he hosed up.

But, using his secret of dexterity, he rerolled and barely made it on alive, compelling his aspect
"Anything for the captain"!

^(This worked partially because Naomi always wore manly clothes, so she rocked the uniform.)
---
The game session proceeded to a bar, where Naomi tried to interrogate the burglar about his loyalty. Instead, they both overdrank and picked a fight with Naomi's pit-fighting ex.
(It ended with the burglar, Kale holding a knife to the goon's throat and yelling, "WHO HERE FORGETS THE NAME OF KALE ARKUM?")
As he left, an old man at the bar sat shocked and said, "I remember the name of Kale Arkum..."

The session ended with Lady Blackbird marrying the Pirate King and Naomi marrying Kale. The first dress he could make her wear was a wedding dress.

Golden Bee fucked around with this message at 05:47 on Oct 6, 2016

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

Scion last night. Holy poo poo, it was a comedy of errors. We did pretty much everything wrong, yet somehow managed to survive AND attain Demigodhood.

The players:
Me - Stig. Scion of Odin.
Constantine - Scion of...I still can't loving spell it. Phoenetically, it's Day-La-Loon. Basically autistic Superman with PTSD.
Kevin - Scion of Thor. Constantly underappreciated, will never be given the appropriate credit for what he contributes.

So, last time I played, we had found the Black Feather Shroud. At the time, all I knew was it gave me a shitload of extra hitboxes.
I missed the last game, but apparently I accidentally'd Odin's place in the pantheon for a brief moment, which led to him taking the cloak from us and placing magic bombs in our heads before giving us our next assignment:
- Go to a layer of Hell governed by Constantine's uncle, and extract the soul of the one person who knows how to make the Black Feather Shroud function.

Now, this is supposed to be a stealth mission. It is stressed to us repeatedly that getting caught is not an option.
This goes against our usual M.O. on every conceivable level. I'm a decent talker, and can usually bullshit my way out of problems, and none of us are bad in a fight, but other than Constantine, none of us are very stealthy. And poor Connie is so hosed in the head that leaving him to his own devices is never a good idea.

We're given access to the armory.
Some time later, we return to the room where we're going to be put into a near-death state in order to better infiltrate whatever Hell we're going to. It basically goes like this:

*Stig enters the room, along with the massive sword he stole from Pyramid Head way back when, he has added a Rocket Launcher to his list of weapons.*
Odin: "So, for this STEALTH mission, you bring a loving rocket launcher?"
Stig: "Well, let's be honest with ourselves here. We're going to get spotted. At least when we do get spotted, I have a rocket launcher."

Kevin: "We're not going to get spotted, Stig."
*Kevin enters the room in full plate mail. Basically, picture the Templar armor from Hellgate: London*

Odin's eye twitches.

Constantine then comes in, wearing a gimp suit, thinking that since it's black, it must be good for stealth.

Odin: "Of course. This is perfect. Really, nothing bad can come of this."
He then proceeds to snap a photo of us, promising that when (Not if. When.) we die, he intends to make that picture public knowledge, so we can forever be remembered as the idiots we were.

Now, in Kevin's defense, his full plate is ridiculously enchanted. I'm talking like 12 Lethal/Bashing soak, or something really high for it's armor type. Plus, it's seemingly weightless, makes no noise, and seems to interact with his Birthright Warhammer in some way we're not entirely clear on.
There's really no excuse for me or Connie though.

So, we get placed into the near death, get sent to the Hell dimension.
We land in the middle of a massive throng of dead souls. Faceless humans in a bad replica of a Gatsby era party. Smiles are insincere, every appearance of someone having a good time is clearly forced, the air itself is thick with a numbing sense of misery.
Connie has apparently been here before, since his entire pantheon is a bunch of hosed up sadists.

Stig: "So, where to?"
Pretty much as soon as I say that, every eye is on us, as the dead realize the living are near them. And if there's one thing tortured dead souls like, it's the living, since it lets them feel alive however briefly.
They immediately start trying to mob us. I jump up and manage to scale a small building, Kevin flies up with me, while Constantine is able to blend into the crowd and avoid detection through a combination of stealth, knowing how things work in this particular dimension, and Eye of the Storm.
With the dead getting all worked up, we notice two massive stormclouds coming towards us, one red and one blue.

Unable to find Constantine, but trusting him to not die, Stig casts a spell to attempt to divine which way they need to head, and he and Kevin haul rear end that direction.
Connie, down on the ground level, comes to the conclusion that "Since I've been here before, but I was always drunk, then I just need to get shitfaced, and I'll be able to get to where I need to go!"

The red and blue clouds are literally Dante and Vergil, they were PC characters in an Exalted game the others played in back before I met any of them.
They're...considerably more powerful than any of us. They almost spot Kevin and Stig, but somehow Kevin's armor is able to hide us. Kevin can't read ancient runes, and Stig has no idea that Kevin has a HUD in there, so neither of us know HOW we didn't just get turned to paste.

Meanwhile, at the bar Constantine managed to find, he's attempting to be incognito, since he's sort of known in this dimension, but he also needs a drink. The demons inside assume he's just another soul, so they're loving with him until Dante and Vergil show up, trying to figure out why the souls are so wound up and agitated.
It takes them no time at all to recognize Constantine, who is sticking to his story of "My name is Jack", even after they pull the gimp mask off of him and tell him to cut the poo poo.
Luckily, they're Connie's cousins or something. Basically, they don't have a reason to kill him on sight, and since they don't know WHY he's here, he's able to convince them that it's family business, which is enough for them, since they don't like getting involved with his uncles anymore than he does.
Assuming that he caused the ruckus somehow, they tell him to just behave and not cause any trouble.

He eventually catches up to us, drunk as can be, and eventually slurs out that we're going the wrong direction, and to follow him.
We shrug and go along with it, since it isn't like we had any better plans.

He leads us inside a building, which becomes the inside of a tower once we step through the door. Eventually, after a bunch of stumbling and mumbling, he begins walking off, and we attempt to follow.
Naturally, we all get split up.

Connie rounds a corner, Stig does the same, and finds himself in a room with no doors or windows. Inside, a beautiful woman sits and asks for help.
By this point, I'm good and paranoid, so I try to ignore her while looking for an exit. I don't find an exit, but, with my epic perception and knacks, I'm able to piece together and conclude that the woman is some sort of shape shifting monster, judging by the trace bloodstains I find in random high spots on the wall.
Realizing that I'm not taking the bait, she does transform. Large, 4 arms, each with a wicked looking sword. While she's transforming, I get a surprise round by declaring
"THIS is why I brought the loving rocket launcher!" and fire point blank.

The bad news: She cuts the missile in half, and each half crashes into a wall, doing no damage to her.
The good news: One of the holes is the way out, as I can hear Constantine on the other side warning me "She's a monster dude. She's gonna loving eat you."

She attempts to mesmerize me, and just barely fails. I went from having like 8 or 9 Willpower, to having 1.
Realizing that I'm probably outmatched, I run like hell and dive through the hole and make my escape.
I make it a point to myself that I am NOT letting Connie out of my sight again, which prompts him to walk as fast as he can without crashing headfirst into the wall in order to try and ditch me again.

Kevin, who attempted to follow us, steps through the door and appears in a garage/metal shop area. Something that vaguely looks like Nemesis from Resident Evil begins attacking him. He tries to fight, lands a good hit, but takes a bigger hit himself.
Something attempts to stab him in the back for massive damage, but he's able to use Solipsistic Well Being to ignore it as he notices a garage door.

Kevin's player: "I charge through the door like I was the goddamn Koolaid man."
Me: "Do you yell Oh yeah!?"
Kevin: "No, I don't yell anything. This is a stealth mission, I try to be quiet."

Kevin spots us, the inside of the building has become a large cave at this point. Kevin is thoroughly spooked and done with this place, gets impatient, and flies, grabbing Connie and myself and heading down the tunnel.
His would-be backstabber is still on his back. Another PC from their exalted game, cursing like a room full of Tourette's patients, eyes sown shut, wielding a rusty boot knife.
I try to shoot him with my revolver.
At point blank range, with a pretty high roll, against a blind guy, I miss. Well, he dodges, but the result is the same.
He then sticks the knife right between my shoulder blades. It's a legendary weapon, has like 4 overpowering, so even with my soak and armor, it nearly incapacitates me.

Kevin tries flying towards a rock formation, hoping to scrape Fast Eddy off at a high speed, but he's able to dodge and remain in place, attempting to grab his knife for another stab. Before he's able to though, Constantine lands a punch that manages to make him lose his grip and get left well behind.

Stig: *Fast Heals himself* "gently caress you, you blind midget fucker! And I'm keeping your knife!"

The scenery changes again, and now we're in an opulent dining room, facing an expressionless man who explains that he's the 2nd in command of the area, and currently in charge of things since Connie's uncle is out on other business. He knows why we're here, and he's going to let us take the soul we need and leave unharmed, since doing so will further his own agenda.
We get the guy we came for, and spring back to life in the room where Odin left us.

Odin congratulates us, telling us that he honestly expected us to fail and die horribly, and that he's very surprised that we didn't.
Stig: "You're always underestimating me, yet I continue to get poo poo done! I don't disappoint, but I drat well entertain."

And so our legend grows, the Band of bumbling halfwits, who despite all reason, manage to succeed, usually with just enough collateral damage that it isn't a pyrrhic victory.

Railing Kill
Nov 14, 2008

You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

the_steve posted:

Scion last night. Holy poo poo, it was a comedy of errors. We did pretty much everything wrong, yet somehow managed to survive AND attain Demigodhood.

...

And so our legend grows, the Band of bumbling halfwits, who despite all reason, manage to succeed, usually with just enough collateral damage that it isn't a pyrrhic victory.

Awesome. This is the best kind of game: players barely making progress toward net good, mainly because of their own reckless errors.

Speaking of reckless errors...

I'm playing in a friend's NWoD game that runs opposite my Pathfinder game every other week. (We found that everyone wanted a weekly game, but having alternating GMs running two different games kept things fresh for the players and kept both GMs from getting burnt out.) The NWoD game uses the new God Machine rule set and is a mortal/tier-1 Hunter game set in 1938 American south. The GM let us make any type of character we wanted, but with two stipulations: we had to have had an experience with the supernatural prior to the game that we still didn't fully understand, and that we had to be transients for whatever reason. I am playing a character that is a shameless rip off of Woody Guthrie crossed with Tommy from O Brother Where Art Thou? He is a hobo troubadour and champion of the working class.... but he sold his soul to the devil (or someone...?) to play the guitar real good. :banjo:

But that's not the reckless part of the story. At least not yet. Here's the reckless thing that happened the other day:

Another PC is a gambler who lost everything and is looking for the rear end in a top hat that cheated him and took everything. Until then, he's a hobo like the rest of us. At the end of one game, we hopped a train to get out of town in a hurry. (One of our party members, a black boxer modeled after Jack Johnson, pissed off some cracker locals and we had to jet.) We boarded the train in motion to avoid cops and/or a lynch mob at the station, so it was a bit tricky. All of us made the check to board the train safely... except for the gambler. He hosed it up and ended up about five cars down from us, a bit bruised but no worse for wear.

But he was alone with two stranger hobos. He also had one of the party's only two guns, and most of our bullets.

He fell asleep and woke up to find himself robbed of his gun, about half of his food, and all of his cash ($2.20). So he asked the hobos point-blank for his poo poo back. He figured any pretense is pointless because it was obvious who took the gear. That got the gun pulled on him with a less polite demand to "step off the train and there won't be no more trouble." The train was still moving, and while disembarking wouldn't have been impossible, it definitely wasn't a great idea. Between that and the desperation to get his precious gun back, he decided to fight two hobos by himself in close quarters. He had no weapon except for a bottle of liquor he could hurl at them and try to light them aflame with his lighter. He tried that, but his lighter didn't catch on them when he threw it.

Four combat rounds later, he was shot, his throat was cut, and he was pushed off the train to his death.

Being a mortal in the World of Darkness is hard. We've lost two PCs already in five sessions.

~Epilogue~

The rest of the party heard the shots fired, and two of us got atop the train and ran across the rooftops toward the gun shots. (Not me, I'm the party's bard. :cmon:) By the time they got there, our friend had already been murdered and thrown off the train, but they figured it out and killed them in revenge. We got his our gun back!

:unsmith:

:smithicide:

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

the_steve posted:

Kevin's player: "I charge through the door like I was the goddamn Koolaid man."
Me: "Do you yell Oh yeah!?"
Kevin: "No, I don't yell anything. This is a stealth mission, I try to be quiet."
PC logic is the best logic.

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
The default assumption for Masks is love triangles and awkward affection. The Outsider and the Doomed were at the top of the Ferris Wheel on Halloween night, and had the following exchange:

OUTSIDER: It's so beautiful up here!
DOOMED: There's something wrong with the corn maze.

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Axelgear
Oct 13, 2011

If I'm wrong, please don't hesitate to tell me. It happens pretty often and I will try to change my opinion if I'm presented with evidence.

Frush posted:

Might be fun to make a BBEG choke on surprise water in the middle of a monologue either way.

"What is a magrbrbrbblh!?"

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