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Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:




lol what the gently caress is the meat?

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Nice and hot piss
Feb 1, 2004

mike12345 posted:

So basically the US is about garbage food, emptiness, and capitalism.

Naw, the Midwest does have a decent amount of countryside which is actually pretty nice in comparison to living in the inner city or anywhere else for that matter. Small cities kind of suck but there's enough cities with 30-50k people that are awesome.

We do have capitalism, guns, hot bitches, The Big Bang Theory show, and abortions. So it's a good country.

mostlygray
Nov 1, 2012

BURY ME AS I LIVED, A FREE MAN ON THE CLUTCH

theultimo posted:

Climax, MN is better




As the joke goes:

"Fertile woman killed in Climax"



Don't even get me started about Grygla and Skime. Consider also the Winger-Erskine-Mcintosh major metropolitan area. Normally referred to as a megalopolis similar to New York City or Los Angeles, it is a regional hub where literally dozens of people live.

Dr. Quarex
Apr 18, 2003

I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA

Business Gorillas posted:

lol what the gently caress is the meat?
Whatever it is, odds are good that it is chicken-fried.

cumshitter posted:

Chicago had Bozo the Clown. Krusty the Klown's voice is actually based on Bozo's. Dan Castellanetta came up through Second City Chicago, so he would have been familiar with the show. Anyway, in every episode of the Bozo Show Bozo would pick a child from the audience to play Bozo's Buckets.
The idea that so many people grew up without Bozo the Clown makes me sad. For Krusty the Klown to not feel like an accurate representation of your childhood has to be strange.

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

cumshitter posted:

Chicago had Bozo the Clown. Krusty the Klown's voice is actually based on Bozo's. Dan Castellanetta came up through Second City Chicago, so he would have been familiar with the show. Anyway, in every episode of the Bozo Show Bozo would pick a child from the audience to play Bozo's Buckets.

Bozo's Buckets was basically five red beer cups in a line that the kid stood in front of. The first one was so close it was right at the kid's feet. Each one after that was a foot away. The kids had to get a ping pong ball in each one. If they made it to the last one they got a $100 bill.

Sometimes kids would gently caress up the first one, which was so close you could just drop the ball into it. Then they would cry and Bozo would try to usher them off the stage with no redo, because you gently caress you kid. It is really fun being at a Chicago bar and betting that the kid will gently caress it up on the first shot.

Excuse me, it was the Grand Prize Game. :colbert:

And I can personally vouch for the quality of this product:

http://www.amazon.com/Bozo-Bucket-Bonanza-Grand-Prize/dp/B006396D0S

spacemang_spliff
Nov 29, 2014

wide pickle

MurderBot posted:

I was raised in Kansas, went to college in Manhattan Kansas, small-ish college town that was a lot better than where I am now.

In fact, the midwest is actually pretty cool if you can find the non-stereotypical bible beating inbreds to hang out with. Which, it really isn't all that difficult.

There were a ton of cool places to get out and do stuff, which doesn't apply to all you fat fucks living in your parents basement.

sorry this picture of a hiking trail in Kansas might trigger you all, or just make you huff and puff because the sheer amount of fat on your chest is crushing your rib cage and lungs.



the flint hills are nice for sure.

I drove US-56 across most of the state and the drive from mcpherson to olathe is surpisingly scenic on that road

dentist toy box
Oct 9, 2012

There's a haint in the foothills of NC; the haint of the #3 chevy. The rich have formed a holy alliance to exorcise it but they'll never fucking catch him.








Good well adjusted part of the country for sure

Video Nasty
Jun 17, 2003

thanks for reminding me why i like the midwest.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Hooded Reptile
Aug 31, 2015

Nash Regex posted:

thanks for reminding me why i like the midwest.



I like how they indicate they are a speed trap. According to sign laws you can't have a destination and speed limit sign attached to the same right of way.

Lol

Nice and hot piss
Feb 1, 2004

spacemang_spliff posted:

the flint hills are nice for sure.

I drove US-56 across most of the state and the drive from mcpherson to olathe is surpisingly scenic on that road

Yep, fortunately if you need civilization you can hit up Manhattan up north, or Emporia to the east. It's also surprisingly easy to drive across that area, what with Kansas expanding many of the highways to double lanes.

Its a shame country music has made the midwest seem loving stupid.

Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax

MurderBot posted:

I was raised in Kansas, went to college in Manhattan Kansas, small-ish college town that was a lot better than where I am now.

In fact, the midwest is actually pretty cool if you can find the non-stereotypical bible beating inbreds to hang out with. Which, it really isn't all that difficult.

There were a ton of cool places to get out and do stuff, which doesn't apply to all you fat fucks living in your parents basement.

sorry this picture of a hiking trail in Kansas might trigger you all, or just make you huff and puff because the sheer amount of fat on your chest is crushing your rib cage and lungs.



a surprisingly not terrible picture of kansas congrats

Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax

Monkey Fracas posted:

the guy across the street with the sign that simply says "DONUTS" throws his hat on the ground and stomps on it

pretty good post monkey fracas, kutgw

Matey
Mar 28, 2008

eat food

MurderBot posted:

Yep, fortunately if you need civilization you can hit up Manhattan up north, or Emporia to the east. It's also surprisingly easy to drive across that area, what with Kansas expanding many of the highways to double lanes.

Its a shame country music has made the midwest seem loving stupid.
:agreed:


Frostwerks posted:

a surprisingly not terrible picture of kansas congrats
dumb





Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax

Booblord Zagats posted:

The super markets in AZ carry it

we have it in the south and it kinda sucks. has no bite to speak of which is shameful for a ginger drink

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
Did someone post Pizza Ranch yet?








klapman
Aug 27, 2012

this char is good

speaking as a local, this guy is 40% of all teenagers in the midwest

Matey
Mar 28, 2008

eat food


More fried chicken less vegetables plz

And I would say the combo of pizza and fried chicken seems weird, but pizza and wings is a thing, so hey, why not include the rest of the bird

CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!
There is a Pizza Ranch in my town and I've never been there but that series of pics honestly is an alright encouragement to go try it

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

It's like a step above CiCis as I recall. Pizza Ranch is where my grandpa always chose to go on his birthday.

fakeaccount
Jun 22, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

notZaar posted:

America's best looking men's room is in the Midwest. Specifically in Sheboygan, Wisconsin:






That IS a good looking restroom. I'd totally take a poo poo there.

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

fakeaccount posted:

That IS a good looking restroom. I'd totally take a poo poo there.

Then you WILL DIE there

Nice and hot piss
Feb 1, 2004

Every so often an all you can eat buffet is exactly what the doctor ordered. I love going to equivalent of a feed lot and eat the most unhealthy poo poo that comes to mind, while people watching those with portable oxygen stuff their face with chicken and pizza, or the dude who is eating his third helping of mac N cheese with his Insulin pen literally next to his knife on the table.

It's a great hangover cure and makes you feel so much better about whatever status your life is in.

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

theultimo posted:

Climax, MN is better




I love visiting tiny dying towns like this. There's always one or two little things to make them unique and then nothing.

Nice and hot piss
Feb 1, 2004

Parmesan Basil posted:

I love visiting tiny dying towns like this. There's always one or two little things to make them unique and then nothing.

Brants Meat Market in Wilson Kansas has absolutely the best meat that you can find. The sage pork is ungodly amazing.

gently caress, all of this talk of the midwest makes me miss it. :(

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
Has soemeone posted a picture of an airplane window

cuz that's the midwest to me

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

Alan Smithee posted:

Has soemeone posted a picture of an airplane window

cuz that's the midwest to me

I actually own a t-shirt very much like this one:



edit: But mine says Des Moines instead of Iowa and has a plane instead of a map.

Harminoff
Oct 24, 2005

👽





Macs is legit good though, great place to take the family. Just look at this menu

http://macandcheeseshop.com/macs

Dr. Fraiser Chain
May 18, 2004

Redlining my shit posting machine


I bought free range chickens out of a back alley garage from a crazy religious sect. The women were dressed in long rear end skirts and looked like farm workers from dust bowl photos. They talked amongst themselves in German while we did discreet chicken business.

It felt very oddly American

Matey
Mar 28, 2008

eat food

Harminoff posted:



Macs is legit good though, great place to take the family. Just look at this menu

http://macandcheeseshop.com/macs

I bet Luke Gatti would gently caress up the number 5

KiteAuraan
Aug 5, 2014

JER GEDDA FERDA RADDA ARA!


Booblord Zagats posted:

The super markets in AZ carry it

We got a poo poo ton of Michigan refugees who fled here from their ice blasted Hoth-hole.

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

Goodpancakes posted:

I bought free range chickens out of a back alley garage from a crazy religious sect. The women were dressed in long rear end skirts and looked like farm workers from dust bowl photos. They talked amongst themselves in German while we did discreet chicken business.

It felt very oddly American

stroszek's america

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcoqeNdMAfA

Blue Train fucked around with this message at 02:03 on Oct 27, 2015

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


Harminoff posted:



Macs is legit good though, great place to take the family. Just look at this menu

http://macandcheeseshop.com/macs

Ate at the sun prairie one 2 weeks ago. Legit yo

Derek of the Andes
Dec 10, 2009

deep impact on vhs posted:

they must be showing a pretty sad movie

I'm the hobo in the lower left corner jackin' it to a sad movie.
Or it could be a dog jackin' it, not sure.

kindermord
Jun 5, 2003
ducks is chickens with swimmy toes

cumshitter posted:

Bozo's Buckets was basically five red beer cups in a line that the kid stood in front of. The first one was so close it was right at the kid's feet. Each one after that was a foot away. The kids had to get a ping pong ball in each one. If they made it to the last one they got a $100 bill.


i wanted to see what this was like and found this clip where bozo asks a kid how he got a black eye and the kid answers my dad hit me

don't worry it's funnier than it sounds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxZpazXqDUE

Breadallelogram
Oct 9, 2012


Possibly Chicken posted:







Good well adjusted part of the country for sure

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_serial_killers_in_the_United_States

ctrl f "iowa"
0 of 0

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009


To be fair, John Wayne Gacy did live in Iowa for a time and committed his first known sexual assault there!

Infidel Castro
Jun 8, 2010

Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice





There's no point in killing people in Iowa, they're already dead.

Matey
Mar 28, 2008

eat food

kindermord posted:

i wanted to see what this was like and found this clip where bozo asks a kid how he got a black eye and the kid answers my dad hit me

don't worry it's funnier than it sounds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxZpazXqDUE

lol

You're such a bozo, bozo

Ultimo Hombre
Jul 26, 2015

Lordshmee posted:

This is I71 between Xenia and Columbus, yeah? Always a pick-me-up. About 50 miles north of there is a pretty good montage of, "Traveller - Prepare to meet THY GOD!" I'll have to snag a picture.

I thought that looked familiar, isn't there a barn with a big Confederate flag painted on the roof and what looks like three burnt crosses in the yard in that general vicinity? I know I've passed it going north on 71.

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Breadallelogram
Oct 9, 2012


OctoberBlues posted:

To be fair, John Wayne Gacy did live in Iowa for a time and committed his first known sexual assault there!

oh poo poo, that's right

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