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GunnerJ
Aug 1, 2005

Do you think this is funny?

Elias_Maluco posted:

Maybe the problem is with something in my machine, but I know Im not alone in this, there is always plenty of people complaining about it here.

The problem could be architecture or brand/make specific. Did Paradox say what brand/make parts they had in the computers when they were talking about specs?

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Tiler Kiwi
Feb 26, 2011
I blame the nature of exponential growth, both in how the number of characters increase over time, to how that leads to more events that must check with more characters. It's like, (x^2)^2 or some poo poo.

Not sure wars have much to do with it directly, actually. I am not sure if there are any more battles to calculate or armies to move, just bigger numbers of soldiers, which really shouldn't matter at all. Even if you did see more battles/wars, it's presumably a linear growth which shouldn't be a big deal in the end on its own.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

darthbob88 posted:

No, I have seen Jewish lieges demanding vassals convert in a pure vanilla game, and a fair few chaplains reporting success at converting lands/citizens/errant subjects, so Jews definitely can convert. How high is the moral authority for Judaism? I'm pretty sure that also affects how likely anybody is to convert.

Ah yeah the moral authority thing makes sense, didn't ever consider that. However playing as Jews I've never seen the demand conversion option available for me.

Deceitful Penguin
Feb 16, 2011

catlord posted:

Huh. Maybe I misread something then. I just want to chill with my new liege, is that too much to ask? I handed my grandkid off to be educated but he managed to not get converted by the end of his education.
Is your liege lord a Nomad? If so, there's probably your answer: they can't ask you to convert. Dunno about being a vassal to one; Havent tried that game yet.

Orcs and Ostriches
Aug 26, 2010


The Great Twist
So duels are fun.

A lowly pissant count that kept trying to get factions going seduced my wife. My character was war focused, so I challenged him to a duel.

He was slothful, gluttonus, craven with 7 martial. I was in decent shape - strong, brave, 20 martial, but getting older. I lost the duel and died, but I didn't care because my heir was awesome.

I got an event a few years later about how I hated that count, and could challenge him to a duel. This time, I'm 30 base martial - Brilliant strategist, Strong, brave, varangian, viking, a badass among badasses. Died in the duel.

My next heir was nothing special, but again got a prompt to fight the guy - who at this point also picked up a case of the lover's pox. Expecting to die in the duel, the game did not disappoint, and I lose a third character.

Somehow that fat lazy fucker just effortlessly chopped down half my family.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Deceitful Penguin posted:

Is your liege lord a Nomad? If so, there's probably your answer: they can't ask you to convert. Dunno about being a vassal to one; Havent tried that game yet.

Well then this explains what I've been seeing. Been playing Jews with Khazaria on old gods.

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?

Orcs and Ostriches posted:

So duels are fun.

A lowly pissant count that kept trying to get factions going seduced my wife. My character was war focused, so I challenged him to a duel.

He was slothful, gluttonus, craven with 7 martial. I was in decent shape - strong, brave, 20 martial, but getting older. I lost the duel and died, but I didn't care because my heir was awesome.

I got an event a few years later about how I hated that count, and could challenge him to a duel. This time, I'm 30 base martial - Brilliant strategist, Strong, brave, varangian, viking, a badass among badasses. Died in the duel.

My next heir was nothing special, but again got a prompt to fight the guy - who at this point also picked up a case of the lover's pox. Expecting to die in the duel, the game did not disappoint, and I lose a third character.

Somehow that fat lazy fucker just effortlessly chopped down half my family.

IIRC the highest bracket of martial skill that affects duels is 9+. Whether you have 10, 20 or 30, the effect is the same -- 7 is a pretty decent martial score and means he has a good chance of winning even if your martial is arbitrarily high. I never duel someone whose martial is higher than 5 unless I'm ready to die.

Tiler Kiwi
Feb 26, 2011
isnt it Personal Combat Score now instead of martial?

Torrannor
Apr 27, 2013

---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

Tiler Kiwi posted:

isnt it Personal Combat Score now instead of martial?

It is. The CK2wiki even has a breakdown on outcome chances depending on the differences in Personal Combat Score of the participants.

FutonForensic
Nov 11, 2012

Tiler Kiwi posted:

I blame the nature of exponential growth, both in how the number of characters increase over time, to how that leads to more events that must check with more characters. It's like, (x^2)^2 or some poo poo.


So in order to keep the world moving forward, we have to start wars and kill as many courtiers as possible?

Oh gently caress... did we just unravel a huge conspiracy? Are all of man's wars and genocides not done for resources or ideologies, but to keep the universe's frame rate above 60 FPS?? :tinfoil:

EDIT: THE MUSLIM ILLUMINATI CLOWN CAR IS OUTSIDE. 20k ABBASIDS G-MEN ARE TRYING TO KILL ME

ajkalan
Aug 17, 2011

Speaking of clown cars...



This might have been literally every Cathar and Sunni soldier left in the world after a decade-long jihad. This battle went on for almost two years.

catlord
Mar 22, 2009

What's on your mind, Axa?

Deceitful Penguin posted:

Is your liege lord a Nomad? If so, there's probably your answer: they can't ask you to convert. Dunno about being a vassal to one; Havent tried that game yet.

No, he settled, I still don't know why I wasn't able to convert to his religion or why he never asked me, but I did suddenly inherit some land that had become Jewish already so I moved my capitol to there and converted that way. Then just asked my kids and vassals to convert just fine.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

ajkalan posted:

Speaking of clown cars...



This might have been literally every Cathar and Sunni soldier left in the world after a decade-long jihad. This battle went on for almost two years.

Well gently caress dude give me some history here. How did this happen? How did it all settle out?

E: I MUST KNOW, drat YOU!

future ghost
Dec 5, 2005

:byetankie:
Gun Saliva
Uhhh, so I apparently vassalized the Shia Caliph as catholic Britain. Is there anything useful I can do with this? Does this prevent Shia jihads being called against me or something, or should I just cut him loose?:



He doesn't seem to mind being co-vassal with my pope so if it benefits me in some way I might keep him on for a bit:



Also it's nice to see that the Muslim factions have been eating each other this game since last time I played they just blobbed up forever, especially since Mongolia still hasn't done anything at all since arriving, other than converting to Orthodox. The Byzantines recently went Catholic for two Emperors, then the current Emperor started Orthodox but converted to Catholic again so religions are just weird in this game I guess.

edit: Immediately declared a jihad for HRE-occupied Jerusalem. gently caress him, he's getting unlanded.

future ghost fucked around with this message at 05:24 on Oct 27, 2015

ajkalan
Aug 17, 2011

Honky Dong Country posted:

Well gently caress dude give me some history here. How did this happen? How did it all settle out?

E: I MUST KNOW, drat YOU!

It was a Jihad for Mesopotamia sometime in the 1400s, against the Cathar Byzantine Empire (installing one of my courtiers on the Byzantine throne was my greatest accomplishment and saved my rear end several times throughout the game). I'd been ignoring the jihad for several years while focusing on my own problems, since Byzantine, England, Hispania, and the Mongol Empire (also Cathar) were strong enough to take on the Sunni attackers.

Except they weren't, apparently, and I tried turning it around while the warscore was hovering around -80%. I held all of eastern Europe, Italy, and Germany, so I figured I'd send all of my troops to rout the handful of 20K stacks and retake lost territory. I sent one 30K group against one of them, with more on the way. But before I could finish it off, another one of their stacks reinforced. My reinforcements arrived, and so did theirs, and eventually every damned soldier in the area was in this one county. They showed up spaced out enough that neither side could win an advantage, and this game was not made with 250K-soldier brawls in mind, so I had to sit there helplessly as this stupid fight played out.

My side eventually "won," though at the end I had fewer than 35K troops left and the Sunnis had more than 40K. The warscore shifted by one or two percent, as well. I had to retreat back to my territory and decided that the Sunnis could have those two or three counties. I might as well have not showed up at all.

It was an exciting conclusion to the game, at the least. I had fun learning how to play it! (It was also funny when the Pope called a Crusade for Italy and no one showed up...twice :laugh: )

ajkalan fucked around with this message at 05:14 on Oct 27, 2015

Larry Parrish
Jul 9, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

ajkalan posted:

It was an exciting conclusion to the game, at the least. I had fun learning how to play it! (It was also funny when the Pope called a Crusade for Italy and no one showed up...twice :laugh: )

This happened to me in a Fraticelli game. I united Brittania as an Irish duke through judicious use of Holy War while people were weak or in regencies, and then pressed a claim I had on Italy before deposing the heretical pope and installing my own. It seems like it broke the Catholic's brains because the dynasty-united France and HRE never showed up to take back Italy. Meanwhile I slowly eroded Europe whenever my Pope declared one. The game deals with Catholic heresies weirdly.

Larry Parrish fucked around with this message at 07:38 on Oct 27, 2015

Walton Simons
May 16, 2010

ELECTRONIC OLD MEN RUNNING THE WORLD
Chose to start my second game in Spain as I've just been there, chose Castille in 1066, specifically. Turns out I have strong claims on Galicia and Leon, both of which are under my brothers' rule. Smash Galicia and take it as soon as I have the chance, spot Leon have been holy warring or something and take that as soon as my war for Galicia ends. Hell of a first 11 years. I also notice that I can take some of Toledo via a holy war and I can't think of a good reason not to do that later since it's only 1077 and nobody else has got their poo poo together. Weirdly, it turns out that the ruler of Castille in 1066, Sancho II, did actually take over Galicia and Leon in that order, though that's where the similarities end as the War of the Three Sanchos never happened (my chancellor died trying to get a claim on Navarre) and I didn't get shanked by a Zamoran noble in 1072.

I can't raise my crown authority any higher and now I'm left with ultimogeniture, urgh, I'm only 12 or so years older than my wife so hopefully a regency can be avoided.

A Handed Missus
Aug 6, 2012




Being the pox ridden lunatic Berber (German now though) Kaiser of the Empire of Burgundy sounds like a good deal. The previous emperor was only a dwarf.

1290 and both Scotland and Ireland are still tribal kingdoms.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Here recently I've been doing a west African game. I stormed up to the straits of Gibraltar and reformed the faith. Shortly after I took the rest of Mauretania and formed a merchant republic. I did all this while keeping the Umayyads happy with 24/7 diplomacy and the occasional bribe.

But now I'm pushing east in Africa and the Muslims are starting to fight back pretty hard. This problem is compounded by the fact that somehow the Umayyads ended up replacing the Abbasids as Caliph and they also stomped out Asturias finally and formed Hispania.

Most of the Muslim world is now under Umayyad rule. The good thing is that forming Hispania seems to have weakened the Spanish Umayyads because they don't have nearly as many troops. So I took the opportunity to declare and win a holy war for Seville. Now when the Umayyads attack I can park my defensive pagans on a one county choke point of the north side of the straits. Been a fun game so far.

E: also now the umayyads are having some pretty serious decadence issues so I'm hoping they'll implode before I actually border the Arabian Umayyad blob. Man if it weren't for the Spirit Guardians I'd already be screwed several times over.

Honky Dong Country fucked around with this message at 15:35 on Oct 27, 2015

BravestOfTheLamps
Oct 12, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Lipstick Apathy
New dev diary, with a big announcement about the layout.

Elias_Maluco
Aug 23, 2007
I need to sleep
Nice keyboard shortcuts I will never use, I guess.

Thats all nice and cute but I wish they would return to making DDs when there is actually something to say.

GenderSelectScreen
Mar 7, 2010

I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME
College Slice

BravestOfTheLamps posted:

New dev diary, with a big announcement about the layout.

Not clicking that, thanks though. No need to read another non-Dev Diary.

Deceitful Penguin
Feb 16, 2011
How about making a better inheritance mechanic really? Just some nice graphical poo poo where you can toss around titles between kids and see exactly what each inherits.

Also something just vaguely amuses me about what a poo poo hand Africa gets; especially when I remember the nationalist mod Wiz made for EU3.

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

Not clicking that, thanks though. No need to read another non-Dev Diary.

I'll save you the trouble: CK2 Dev Diary 5: We've moved into a new office! Also, alt+shift+right-click does something now!

VerdantSquire
Jul 1, 2014

The dev diary actually has a sound bite of one of the devs yelling in latin. Anyone able to translate that? I'd bet good money that theres something hidden in it.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Deceitful Penguin posted:

How about making a better inheritance mechanic really? Just some nice graphical poo poo where you can toss around titles between kids and see exactly what each inherits.

Also something just vaguely amuses me about what a poo poo hand Africa gets; especially when I remember the nationalist mod Wiz made for EU3.

Yeah I wish Africa was a bit more colorful like the other pagans. Also all their drat light infantry. I'm making it work though. I've especially been careful to try to take on large armies defensively on my own turf to make use of what few bonuses west African pagans get. I like them as a merchant republic since the mountains of gold also helps compensate for their lack of teeth.

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747
If I get the devil spawn event and go to my chaplain, and my chaplain says that all this talk of devil spawn is nonsense, does the event chain keep going?

e: hahahaha it does, yessss

e2: what about if your ruler dies right after the nanny shows up :stare: is the kid still gonna be the antichrist

e3: Hahaha holy poo poo there's an event for if you're playing as the antichrist when they come of age, that's loving fantastic

WeedlordGoku69 fucked around with this message at 20:49 on Oct 27, 2015

TorakFade
Oct 3, 2006

I strongly disapprove


LORD OF BUTT posted:


e3: Hahaha holy poo poo there's an event for if you're playing as the antichrist when they come of age, that's loving fantastic

What is that? Need to know. I only had the antichrist event once and for stupid roleplaying reasons (he was killing his siblings and I was a pious character, also it was the second child of my starting character so it was REALLY early on) I had his head chopped off after defeating him and his witches in a massive battle in the Alps where I threw everything I had, plus thousands of mercenaries, at them.

By the way everybody hated me for killing my DEMON SPAWN child, after having fought tooth and nail and sacrificing thousands of lives to save the rest of the world from eternal damnation, that's lovely of you guys.

It was kind of epic actually, but I wish I could see what happens when you actually get to play as the unholy prick.

TorakFade fucked around with this message at 21:06 on Oct 27, 2015

Mr Snips
Jan 9, 2009



The only time I had the antichrist event chain was playing as a merchant republic. Satan couldn't figure out those inheritance mechanics and died of severe stress in his 30s without bothering me once

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747

TorakFade posted:

What is that? Need to know. I only had the antichrist event once and for stupid roleplaying reasons (he was killing his siblings and I was a pious character, also it was the second child of my starting character so it was REALLY early on) I had his head chopped off after defeating him and his witches in a massive battle in the Alps where I threw everything I had, plus thousands of mercenaries, at them.

By the way everybody hated me for killing my DEMON SPAWN child, after having fought tooth and nail and sacrificing thousands of lives to save the rest of the world from eternal damnation, that's lovely of you guys.

It was kind of epic actually, but I wish I could see what happens when you actually get to play as the unholy prick.

It's absolutely hilarious, the demon spawn kid has completely insane stats and gets Genius, Impaler and a ton of other traits from the second they hit 16. The witches are all OP as hell too, one of them has like 38 intrigue and is basically the best spymaster you could possibly ask for.

If you want to trigger it in the console, the event ID is SoA.3000

Elias_Maluco
Aug 23, 2007
I need to sleep
The only time I got the antichrist events I was playing a muslin, so I could choose him as my heir even though he was my third son.

He had like 30 martial and every single stat above 15. Ive converted to some heresy (you keep getting events to become heretic when you are the devil child) and went total war on my sunni neightbours.

Fucker got in to the throne as a small independent duke and died with 2 kingdoms and a caliph title, and just a bit short from getting an empire. It was a blast.

Elias_Maluco fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Oct 27, 2015

Walton Simons
May 16, 2010

ELECTRONIC OLD MEN RUNNING THE WORLD
So much for my good start, I can't move away from Gavelkind in Leon and Galicia unless everyone like me, which of course they don't because I just usurped their titles.

Well, poo poo.

e: Ha, just had my favourite thing in CK2, declared holy war for Toledo, very first battle 400 vs 800, capture their Emir, 100% warscore. Rekt.

Walton Simons fucked around with this message at 22:52 on Oct 27, 2015

The Sharmat
Sep 5, 2011

by Lowtax

Honky Dong Country posted:

Yeah I wish Africa was a bit more colorful like the other pagans.

There are colorful non-Norse pagans?

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

The Sharmat posted:

There are colorful non-Norse pagans?

In comparison to west Africans, yes. Ain't even got a feast.

Walton Simons
May 16, 2010

ELECTRONIC OLD MEN RUNNING THE WORLD
Managed to solve my succession crisis pretty handily, gave power to my brother until he liked me enough to let me push through ultimogeniture, then when he started a plot to overthrow me, beat him in battle and stripped him of his land, replacing him with some rather more placid vassals.

CrazyLoon
Aug 10, 2015

"..."

The Sharmat posted:

There are colorful non-Norse pagans?

Really love Slavic Jarilo festival, by Triglav!

But yea, for all of Groogy's bluster about hating other pagans, the only ones that still feel like they could use some more work are, in fact, the African ones + their units to make something special out of light infantry ones.

CrazyLoon fucked around with this message at 00:32 on Oct 28, 2015

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
The slavs, romuvas, tengri's, etc all having the exact same mechanics is pretty lame, but I definitely agree the West Africans get hosed the hardest, and should be reworked to be..fun.

Coward
Sep 10, 2009

I say we take off and surrender unconditionally from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure



.

Honky Dong Country posted:

In comparison to west Africans, yes. Ain't even got a feast.

One of the annoying things about being a West African Merchant Republic is only having one Mercenary company available, when you could easily afford to hire eight.

But there is something to said for being able to just let the game run without being interrupted by interesting events popping up, and the challenge of smashing the established great powers as Light Infantry dependent underdogs.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Coward posted:

One of the annoying things about being a West African Merchant Republic is only having one Mercenary company available, when you could easily afford to hire eight.

But there is something to said for being able to just let the game run without being interrupted by interesting events popping up, and the challenge of smashing the established great powers as Light Infantry dependent underdogs.

Yeah I use that company a lot. I wish I could vassalize them.

E: For those that might be interested I formed and switched my primary king title to Africa from Mauretania. Suddenly I have access to far more mercs. Bulgarian company at about 2.5k, Bulgarian band at like 1.2k and the good ole ghanan band at about 2.2k. Used to just be the ghanans and a handful of weak <1k nomad merc bands.

Honky Dong Country fucked around with this message at 03:41 on Oct 28, 2015

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NewMars
Mar 10, 2013
You know what the hilariously terrible part is? West Africa was renown for it's mercenaries. They sold massive companies of slave-soldiers to the Berbers, specifically.

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