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artsy fartsy posted:lol are you seriously saying that you won't read a classic because you think it's for children? He meant he didn't have to because he wasn't assigned to read it in a class, don't jump to conclusions.
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Oct 16, 2015 01:40
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The Vosgian Beast posted:He meant he didn't have to because he wasn't assigned to read it in a class, don't jump to conclusions. But that's like the first step of a good derail
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Oct 16, 2015 02:28
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Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is literally just the public domain text of Pride and Prejudice with a few chapters of zombie fanfiction (and also ~ninjas~ :iamafag:) awkwardly inserted into it, calling it a book is too generous. It's a novelty item, a manufactured product made by mashing up random internet memes and public domain texts in the name of making something with a title and cover that people on the internet would buy to show off how wacky they are.
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Oct 16, 2015 06:14
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Sleeveless posted:Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is literally just the public domain text of Pride and Prejudice with a few chapters of zombie fanfiction (and also ~ninjas~ :iamafag:) awkwardly inserted into it, calling it a book is too generous. It's a novelty item, a manufactured product made by mashing up random internet memes and public domain texts in the name of making something with a title and cover that people on the internet would buy to show off how wacky they are. It also lacks the alliteration of sense and sensibility and seamonsters. It really should have been pride and prejudice and poltergeists. Which I suppose is just wuthering heights
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Oct 16, 2015 12:01
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While we're at it, I'd like to present Wuthering Heights as the Worst Book. The only book, to date that I fell asleep reading, and the only book where I needed Sparknotes for a school assignment (I finished it later out if stubborn pride, but there was no part of that book that I liked) it's about a bunch of horrible people who are bad for each other in the middle of goddamn nowhere and the happy ending is incest. Tada!
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Oct 16, 2015 12:51
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Tiberius Thyben posted:I only read literature for adults, like manga. There we go
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Oct 16, 2015 14:47
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YggiDee posted:While we're at it, I'd like to present Wuthering Heights as the Worst Book. The only book, to date that I fell asleep reading, and the only book where I needed Sparknotes for a school assignment (I finished it later out if stubborn pride, but there was no part of that book that I liked) it's about a bunch of horrible people who are bad for each other in the middle of goddamn nowhere and the happy ending is incest. Tada! Okay guys, this is the post you thought that other post was.
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Oct 16, 2015 15:48
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Gogo Logo posted:This is from like a week ago but I came to post the Black Jewels Trilogy. I read it as a teen on a friend's recommendation and it's one of those books you get kind of swept up in, but then when I went to reread it about four months later, I couldn't make it through the first chapter. It was so indescribably awful. It's terrible Mary Sue fiction about this little girl absolutely everyone falls in love with, including the aforementioned Sadist, who is supposed to be supremely beautiful and all that good stuff. Resurrecting the topic of this terrible book series to add a few more notes: The Sadist is 1,700 years old and is a "pleasure slave" ie a fucktoy that gets passed around from owner to owner. Also he has never had an erection. The first time he meets the Mary Sue hero character she's like 12 and just came back from an insane asylum/secret sex abuse place and she's like clearly been starved and tortured and poo poo. But the first time he sees her he's so attracted to her on a ~*~psychic~*~ level he bolts from the room and has to make sure he hasn't actually popped a boner for the first time at the sight of this preteen girl. Also he only meets her because he's there to be her grandma's fucktoy I've read everything from the series. Someday I'm going to do a write-up of everything hosed up and weird and wrong with it.
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Oct 16, 2015 17:10
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coronatae posted:Resurrecting the topic of this terrible book series to add a few more notes:    Please Please don't
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Oct 16, 2015 17:33
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coronatae posted:Resurrecting the topic of this terrible book series to add a few more notes: Then at the end of the chapter he looks up from his the granny dominatrix shrugs and says "its a living."
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Oct 16, 2015 19:33
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ready player one is a poopshit book by a man who thinks references double as comemntary and depth, and armada is even worse. those are terrible books.
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Oct 16, 2015 19:49
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Literally The Worst posted:ready player one is a poopshit book by a man who thinks references double as comemntary and depth, and armada is even worse. those are terrible books. Water is wet, and fire is hot.
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Oct 16, 2015 20:57
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Cell is not just cringeworthy and aimless, with awkward dialog in some places that editors really should have caught, it's plain badly written. The middle part is all these very short chapters each ending with a - groan - witty statement, Stephen King has never written garbage like this before, he used to be too self-aware and actually witty to write poo poo like this. What the gently caress happened, do his editors edit, or do they just make sure he didn't turn in a literal grocery list?
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Oct 16, 2015 23:01
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coronatae posted:I've read everything from the series. Someday I'm going to do a write-up of everything hosed up and weird and wrong with it. There's a Livejournal called das_sporking where they do that for everything from crappy fanfiction to published series. The admin spent six years breaking down Twilight including the films, supplementary materials, even Meyer's significant interviews. At the end of the whole thing admin talked about bring unable to completely enjoy the media she likes because she'll start academically critiquing it and miss out on the experience itself. So I guess what I'm saying is please write this up so your suffering is my enjoyment because I love literary trainwrecks. vvv  oh lord no thanks forget I said anything (what is WRONG with the writer?!?)
SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL has a new favorite as of 16:23 on Oct 17, 2015 |
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Oct 16, 2015 23:48
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coronatae posted:Resurrecting the topic of this terrible book series to add a few more notes: gently caress. Now I remember this. Didn't they also have some sort of contraption where his brother would be loving like an ottoman or something while going down on his mistress? Oh, and female genital mutilation was a thing too, right? They called it "shaving". WHY are these things still in my brain?
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Oct 17, 2015 08:36
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That was the gist of it, his brother was forced to take orgasm-inhibiting aphrodisiacs so a bunch of ladies could have their way with him, then his owner had a big marble thing with various orifices set up so he could gently caress that while going down on her. He went berserk and bit off her clit, which they described as "shaving" her, but that was the only instance where the term referred to female genital mutilation. The rest of the time it means deliberate removal of a man's genitals, sometimes done as an entertainment for the villains of the book. Reading these in high school probably hosed me up haha E: and I agree with what someone else said about these books-- they have a way of sweeping you up so until you take a step back it's hard to realize just how hosed up everything is. coronatae has a new favorite as of 16:06 on Oct 17, 2015 |
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Oct 17, 2015 15:53
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Every post about this goddamn thing has made me cringe involuntarily. No fantasy book should ever involve genital mutilation unless you're loving Margaret Atwood.
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Oct 18, 2015 00:23
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Peter Watts is generally really good and he even puts his books online for free after he's made "enough money" I guess?: http://www.rifters.com Anyway the third book of the Starfish/Maelstrom/Behemoth trilogy has these awful intensely explicit chapters about a sexual sadist. Luckily they're all named "Portrait of the Sadist as [some age]" and you can easily skip them. For some reason, sci-fi authors tend to be really into writing out their sexual hangups.
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Oct 18, 2015 03:22
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Practical Demon posted:Every post about this goddamn thing has made me cringe involuntarily. No fantasy book should ever involve genital mutilation unless you're loving Margaret Atwood. Is this, like, a thing with Margaret Atwood? I've only read The Handmaid's Tale of hers, which I thought was reasonably non-crazy sexually for being a book largely about sex slavery, but I'm about 80 pages into The Heart Goes Last now and not sure what to make of the fact that this dystopian SF novel has turned into a batshit insane sex farce.
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Oct 18, 2015 04:55
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I think Demon is saying that unless you write at least as well as Atwood, don't put genital mutilation in your book. Handmaid's Tale is really good, also Oryx and Crake. The sequels to the latter annoyed me a little because the world became too small. It was like every named character had had 2-3 run-ins with as many other named characters.
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Oct 18, 2015 05:05
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Snapchat A Titty posted:I think Demon is saying that unless you write at least as well as Atwood, don't put genital mutilation in your book. Right. Atwood knows how to write and has socially conscious points to make. Most everyone else in fantasy tackling weird sex stuff is just writing out their hosed up fantasies no one wants to read.
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Oct 18, 2015 14:35
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Snapchat A Titty posted:Peter Watts is generally really good and he even puts his books online for free after he's made "enough money" I guess?: http://www.rifters.com I was going to say weird poo poo about sexual sadist rapists was A Thing amongst neuroreductionist SF writers, but then I remembered several fantasy books I've read and decided it was more of A Thing amongst people who write grim-rear end nerdfiction.
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Oct 18, 2015 16:38
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I just tried reading Netherwood by Michele Lang and the first chapter was definitely so bad it's good, but unfortunately the second chapter was just dumb and boring, so I gave up. That first chapter is pretty amazing though.quote:I hid a smile as I strode forward, feeling the glint of the hot cybersunlight on my bare scalp, along my long, muscle-packed thighs. The last time I'd come here, I'd been in search of a connection; this time, I hunted an outlaw. I'm a sheriff, Talia Fortune by name, and tracking down and deactivating lawbreakers is my job.
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Oct 28, 2015 10:20
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Someone just posted this book and its description to my Facebook feed and I thought the thread would appreciate it the plot summary of The Haunted Vagina posted:It's difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead...
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Oct 28, 2015 15:41
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Tiggum posted:I just tried reading Netherwood by Michele Lang and the first chapter was definitely so bad it's good, but unfortunately the second chapter was just dumb and boring, so I gave up. That first chapter is pretty amazing though. I like that the badass self-insert has an even more badass online persona.
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Oct 28, 2015 17:14
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gently caress amazon not working with image insertion Look up the novelization of good burger
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Oct 28, 2015 17:24
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loquacius posted:Someone just posted this book and its description to my Facebook feed and I thought the thread would appreciate it In reality Bizarro fiction is the definition of ironic writing. They write poo poo to be so bad it's good. Besides Sam Pink, because Sam Pink's books just... I don't know, they're good
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Oct 28, 2015 17:27
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Snapchat A Titty posted:I like that the badass self-insert has an even more badass online persona. I like that the name of the book is a pretty good euphemism for "boner" and the author apparently just didn't notice
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Oct 28, 2015 17:56
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YggiDee posted:The only book, to date that I fell asleep reading How? I fall asleep to books on a weekly basis. Even really good books. Do you not read a lot or are you some super-human non-dozer.
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Oct 30, 2015 02:15
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What a strange argument to start
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Oct 30, 2015 02:16
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Nemesis Of Moles posted:What a strange argument to start Not meaning to start poo poo. It's just weird to me. Everyone I know (or at least have talked about the issue with) has fallen asleep reading often. E: To add actual content: There Is No Year by Blake Butler. I couldn't get past the intentionally terse sentences that (I'm guessing) serve some thematic purpose or are at least somehow justified, but to me it's just such tired, pretentious writing. It seemed like such a wank from the get-go that I gave up before the end of the first chapter. I have precious little time left to read and I can't waste it on any old poo poo. Also, Butler is the editor of HTML Giant, so I think I made the right call. Jerome Agricola has a new favorite as of 02:40 on Oct 30, 2015 |
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Oct 30, 2015 02:20
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Jerome Agricola posted:Not meaning to start poo poo. It's just weird to me. Everyone I know (or at least have talked about the issue with) has fallen asleep reading often. NOT arguing, but I have a force myself to *stop* reading or I will stay up all night.
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Oct 30, 2015 02:39
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Jerome Agricola posted:How? I fall asleep to books on a weekly basis. Even really good books. Do you not read a lot or are you some super-human non-dozer. Before I was tired enough to just fall asleep like that, I'd be too tired to concentrate on the book.
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Oct 30, 2015 03:50
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Jerome Agricola posted:How? I fall asleep to books on a weekly basis. Even really good books. Do you not read a lot or are you some super-human non-dozer. I read a lot but I don't fall asleep while reading. Reading is how I stay awake.
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Oct 30, 2015 04:39
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Tiggum posted:Before I was tired enough to just fall asleep like that, I'd be too tired to concentrate on the book. Right. Who falls asleep with a book on their face, like some sort of Saturday morning comic?
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Oct 30, 2015 12:41
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ElGroucho posted:Right. Who falls asleep with a book on their face, like some sort of Saturday morning comic? Yo. Except I wake up when the book hits my face.
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Oct 30, 2015 13:14
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Jerome Agricola posted:Yo. That's... probably a sign you don't have the healthiest sleeping habits. Having the capacity to realize when you're about to fall asleep so you can put your book down and get into a comfortable sleeping position is not a superhuman ability.
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Oct 30, 2015 15:01
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Jerome Agricola posted:Yo. I nod off with my finger on the right arrow and suddenly I'm a hundred pages ahead of where I was. It's like getting to experience blackouts again!
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Nov 1, 2015 04:51
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I might catch some flak for this, but I could not stand Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell. It feels like it desperately needs an editor to clean up all the twee prose tics and it also just needs to get to the loving point. There's only so much "rich people attend parties with other rich people who they do not like but are icily polite to" I can take before I give up.
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Nov 1, 2015 05:21
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A bunch of my awful friends gushed endlessly about it, I borrowed a copy and powered through about 300 pages and they had still not introduced the second protagonist. The TV show is a bit better, if only because they're restricted by a small number of episodes. Still a bit overlong.
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Nov 1, 2015 05:29
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