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Captain Equinox
Sep 15, 2005

By day a mild-mannered college professor, by night Kiki, go-go dancer at the Pussycat Club. But twice a year, he's... CAPTAIN EQUINOX!

Mayor McCheese posted:

two dueling sorcerers/wizards

My first thought was Big Trouble in Little China, but the bodily harm part doesn't fit...

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morestuff
Aug 2, 2008

You can't stop what's coming

Mayor McCheese posted:

Google isn't doing me any favors.

An older live action Asian film with a scene where there's two dueling sorcerers/wizards using really loving weird magic against one another. Horror-esque. I think one was a monk or a priest (surrounded by candles?) and it involved decapitation or bodily harm for their incantations?

It's been ages since I seen it and I keep forgetting this thread is a thing.

Doesn't have the decapitation (that I remember) but could be A Chinese Ghost Story or one of its sequels.

Mayor McCheese
Sep 20, 2004

Everyone is a mayor... Someday..
Lipstick Apathy
Thanks for the help, guys.

It took far too long to search for it but I found it. It's the Boxer's Omen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_I-x3nVfuM



It's as loving weird as I remember it. Bit of a warning as there's some semi gross scenes in that link.

Skunkrocker
Jan 14, 2012

Your favorite furry wrestler.

Zogo posted:

It's a movie from the late 80s or early 90s. I think two couples are taking a vacation on some island or beach and at one point they're playing high stakes monopoly with real $$$. One guy loses and gets upset.

I'm pretty confident it had well-known actors like Robin Williams or Kurt Russell or Jeff Bridges.

This might be Rat Race, cause the real money Monopoly game happens in that film I believe.

Zogo
Jul 29, 2003

Skunkrocker posted:

This might be Rat Race, cause the real money Monopoly game happens in that film I believe.

Rat Race from 2001? I'm sure it's not that one if that's what you meant.

centaurtainment
Jun 16, 2015
So I watched this movie years ago in college, it's a black and white Japanese film about a bunch of assassins (hired hitmen?) who are ranked, and the finale features the main character fighting "Killer number 1" in a boxing arena or wrestling ring or something while a tape loop of the number 1 Hitman taunting the main character plays over speakers.

I could have sworn the movie was called "Hitman #1" but I've googled everything like that with no result. Thanks!

ButtWolf
Dec 30, 2004

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

centaurtainment posted:

So I watched this movie years ago in college, it's a black and white Japanese film about a bunch of assassins (hired hitmen?) who are ranked, and the finale features the main character fighting "Killer number 1" in a boxing arena or wrestling ring or something while a tape loop of the number 1 Hitman taunting the main character plays over speakers.

I could have sworn the movie was called "Hitman #1" but I've googled everything like that with no result. Thanks!

Branded to Kill?

ButtWolf fucked around with this message at 22:22 on Nov 3, 2015

centaurtainment
Jun 16, 2015

YES! Thank you!

doodlebugs
Feb 18, 2015

by Lowtax
A french movie from the 80s where a man lures a doctor who he blames for the death of his wife into the desert. I mainly remember a scene where they cross a ravine in a tiny cable car.

Sinecure
Sep 10, 2011
My friends are making a quiz, and one of them wants to ask a question about a movie he swears goes as follows:

some criminals are digging a tunnel into a bank vault from an old lady's house. However, everything goes wrong and by the time they get into the vault, only two of them are left alive. At the end, one of these two dies by falling into a river/getting hit by a truck, and the old lady ends up with the money.

Any ideas?

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

Sinecure posted:

My friends are making a quiz, and one of them wants to ask a question about a movie he swears goes as follows:

some criminals are digging a tunnel into a bank vault from an old lady's house. However, everything goes wrong and by the time they get into the vault, only two of them are left alive. At the end, one of these two dies by falling into a river/getting hit by a truck, and the old lady ends up with the money.

Any ideas?

The Ladykillers?

Samuel Clemens
Oct 4, 2013

I think we should call the Avengers.

Yeah, barring a few details (it's the vault of a casino instead of a bank and the robbers only die after getting the money) that sounds exactly like the Coen brother's version of Ladykillers.

Looten Plunder
Jul 11, 2006
Grimey Drawer
People are talking about Total Recall in the General Movie Q's thread and it got me thinking about a movie I've always had trouble remembering. I thought it might be Total Recall but I don't think it is.

All i remember is it was about a dude in some sort of prison with lots of levels that could record peoples dreams and store them. Movie would have been made between '85 and '95, probably closer to '85. It's one of those movies that I have had recurring dreams/nightmares about, along with Labyrinth (see a theme?)

I don't think it's Total Recall because none of the Mars stuff rings a bell. It's also not 12 Monkeys if anyone was thinking that.

Rob was taken
Mar 8, 2006

xcore posted:

People are talking about Total Recall in the General Movie Q's thread and it got me thinking about a movie I've always had trouble remembering. I thought it might be Total Recall but I don't think it is.

All i remember is it was about a dude in some sort of prison with lots of levels that could record peoples dreams and store them. Movie would have been made between '85 and '95, probably closer to '85. It's one of those movies that I have had recurring dreams/nightmares about, along with Labyrinth (see a theme?)

I don't think it's Total Recall because none of the Mars stuff rings a bell. It's also not 12 Monkeys if anyone was thinking

[quote="xcore" post="452335622"]
People are talking about Total Recall in the General Movie Q's thread and it got me thinking about a movie I've always had trouble remembering. I thought it might be Total Recall but I don't think it is.

All i remember is it was about a dude in some sort of prison with lots of levels that could record peoples dreams and store them. Movie would have been made between '85 and '95, probably closer to '85. It's one of those movies that I have had recurring dreams/nightmares about, along with Labyrinth (see a theme?)

I don't think it's Total Recall because none of the Mars stuff rings a bell. It's also not 12 Monkeys if anyone was thinking that.

Fortress with Christopher Lambert?

Looten Plunder
Jul 11, 2006
Grimey Drawer
As soon as I read the name Lambert I knew that was it. Thankyou!

MachineryNoise
Jan 13, 2008

So I shout "Set your life on fire!"
This is an old, black & white movie. Probably from the 40s or 50s. I saw it playing on a TV in a flea market, and I only saw part of one scene.
There was a fat guy with a mustache lying on the floor with a sword sticking out of his abdomen. The guy was apparently in disguise, as the main character (?) pulled some prosthetic makeup and the mustache off the guy's face. He was still alive and talking to the main character while this was happening. I didn't recognize either actor, unfortunately, though they looked familiar.

Detective Thompson
Nov 9, 2007

Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. is also in repose.
Two guys, late-teens/early-20s I think, are training with an Asian martial arts master. He has them doing all sorts of arduous tasks to get them in shape, but they slack off at first. One thing he had them do was kneel on the sharp edge of a brick. At first they do it by putting their shoes on the edge and making noises as if it hurt them. The master easily figures this out and punishes them. Eventually, they take the training seriously, and do the brick thing again for real, leaving them with cuts on their legs where they knelt. I probably saw this in the mid-90s.

This one feels like it might have been from a 90s sitcom, but frankly it could be from anything. There is a briefcase that belongs to the Weights and Measures Division. Inside the briefcase there is a metal square that is the official standard for an inch. At some point the briefcase gets slammed shut, with the metal square sitting on the lip of the case. It gets smashed out of shape.

Russian Guyovitch
Apr 22, 2008

Some little mice sat in the barn to spin. Pussy came by and popped her head in. What are you doing my little men?

Detective Thompson posted:

Two guys, late-teens/early-20s I think, are training with an Asian martial arts master. He has them doing all sorts of arduous tasks to get them in shape, but they slack off at first. One thing he had them do was kneel on the sharp edge of a brick. At first they do it by putting their shoes on the edge and making noises as if it hurt them. The master easily figures this out and punishes them. Eventually, they take the training seriously, and do the brick thing again for real, leaving them with cuts on their legs where they knelt. I probably saw this in the mid-90s.

This one feels like it might have been from a 90s sitcom, but frankly it could be from anything. There is a briefcase that belongs to the Weights and Measures Division. Inside the briefcase there is a metal square that is the official standard for an inch. At some point the briefcase gets slammed shut, with the metal square sitting on the lip of the case. It gets smashed out of shape.

The thing with the official inch is from an episode of "The John Larroquette Show," which ran for a few seasons in the early '90s.

Light Gun Man
Oct 17, 2009

toEjaM iS oN
vaCatioN




Lipstick Apathy
I wanted to read a wiki article or other information source about the "models" for units like that but have no idea what search terms would actually return that, anyone know of one?

moller
Jan 10, 2007

Swan stole my music and framed me!

Light Gun Man posted:

I wanted to read a wiki article or other information source about the "models" for units like that but have no idea what search terms would actually return that, anyone know of one?

As far as I know the only one that still exists is the IPK or International Prototype of the Kilogram.

English system distances are based on a definition of the meter which is in turn based on observations of light waves. Other measurements are similarly based on natural constants.

Oddly, it appears that english and metric weight measures are based on the IPK, which is observably losing weight.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_metric_system#Convention_of_the_metre
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_yard_and_pound
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilogram#International_prototype_kilogram

Light Gun Man
Oct 17, 2009

toEjaM iS oN
vaCatioN




Lipstick Apathy

moller posted:

As far as I know the only one that still exists is the IPK or International Prototype of the Kilogram.

English system distances are based on a definition of the meter which is in turn based on observations of light waves. Other measurements are similarly based on natural constants.

Oddly, it appears that english and metric weight measures are based on the IPK, which is observably losing weight.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_metric_system#Convention_of_the_metre
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_yard_and_pound
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilogram#International_prototype_kilogram

Haha rad, thanks for the links. Figures that we are basing things on something that is failing at it's job :v:

Detective Thompson
Nov 9, 2007

Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. is also in repose.

Russian Guyovitch posted:

The thing with the official inch is from an episode of "The John Larroquette Show," which ran for a few seasons in the early '90s.

I don't even remember that being a show, but I probably watched some of it with my parents at some point. Thanks!

CountryFriedSnake
Feb 25, 2006
So there's a farm where a family has some sort of inbred tied up in their barn and some of the family torture said inbred and eventually the inbred is set free and kills all of the family except for one and together they run off.

I don't know, my Google powers aren't working. It's a movie I saw on BG this spring. I appreciate the help.

ProfessorMurder
Aug 27, 2003

I can wet the bed in the shape of Abraham Lincoln

CountryFriedSnake posted:

So there's a farm where a family has some sort of inbred tied up in their barn and some of the family torture said inbred and eventually the inbred is set free and kills all of the family except for one and together they run off.

I don't know, my Google powers aren't working. It's a movie I saw on BG this spring. I appreciate the help.

Maybe The Woman?

CountryFriedSnake
Feb 25, 2006

BINGO! Thanks, ProfessorMurder.

Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
Everyone should play DUKE games.

:dukedog:

HystericFactor posted:

I saw this one movie on a Canadian movie channel when I was still in elementary school (around early to mid 90s).

The setting was some medieval kingdom where the palace of the rulers were besieged. The queen took her kid son and some sword that was magic or something, and brought them to this ugly rear end troll/dwarf guy to look after. In order for the guy to agree, the queen had to give up the goods: ie off-screen sex. The prince grows up, tries to kill the troll guy when he's given the magic sword, except it breaks because it's a fake. Then he gets the real one and runs off to claim back his kingdom or something.

I forgot what happened in the rest of the movie, but I'd like to find out what the hell this movie was, and if it was as awful as I remember it as.

This is actually an Ator movie from 1990! :D It has several names depending on what country you're in, so look for:

Ator the Invincible
Quest for the Mighty Sword
Hobgoblin
Goblin III (the creature's mask will look familiar to Goblin 2 fans, I guess in Germany Goblin 2 was a huge hit? No other connection)

a gay lion named Tangiers
Jul 30, 2013
I've got two, one that I've absently wondered about for years and one that is driving me nuts right this second.

1st: I remember nearly nothing about the movie except this small bit of one scene. I wanna say the film is from the 80s, all I remember is this human sized anthropomorphic caterpillar asking a regular human to wipe its rear end. I wanna say the caterpillar had just saved the guy's life and was asking for that in return but I'm not sure.

2nd: Sci-fi movie from I think the 70s/80s, might even be like an Outer Limits episode or something, where someone manages to basically jack out of the matrix and discovers that his entire reality is just big white boxes with lettering that says stuff like "TELEVISION" and "CHAIR" and "CEREAL" etc. but everyone sees them as actual things.

Hopefully these ring a bell for someone because Google is failing me.

Chubby Henparty
Aug 13, 2007


devin2 posted:

I've got two, one that I've absently wondered about for years and one that is driving me nuts right this second.

1st: I remember nearly nothing about the movie except this small bit of one scene. I wanna say the film is from the 80s, all I remember is this human sized anthropomorphic caterpillar asking a regular human to wipe its rear end. I wanna say the caterpillar had just saved the guy's life and was asking for that in return but I'm not sure.


I've never managed to catch the film but I'm gonna guess Naked Lunch.

codyclarke
Jan 10, 2006

IDIOT SOUP

devin2 posted:

2nd: Sci-fi movie from I think the 70s/80s, might even be like an Outer Limits episode or something, where someone manages to basically jack out of the matrix and discovers that his entire reality is just big white boxes with lettering that says stuff like "TELEVISION" and "CHAIR" and "CEREAL" etc. but everyone sees them as actual things.

They Live is sort of this, but I assume you've seen that. Also Repo Man.

donquixotic
May 1, 2007

codyclarke posted:

They Live is sort of this, but I assume you've seen that. Also Repo Man.

It's not those. I'm struggling to find the title myself because I know the exact film but don't remember the title and it's driving me nuts.

EDIT: it's also not The thirteenth floor

donquixotic fucked around with this message at 12:32 on Nov 17, 2015

donquixotic
May 1, 2007

devin2 posted:

2nd: Sci-fi movie from I think the 70s/80s, might even be like an Outer Limits episode or something, where someone manages to basically jack out of the matrix and discovers that his entire reality is just big white boxes with lettering that says stuff like "TELEVISION" and "CHAIR" and "CEREAL" etc. but everyone sees them as actual things.

Well you're in luck. I spent my entire morning looking for it but I finally found it. It's called Virtual Nightmare, it's also on Youtube in full. Thank god that's over it's been on my mind on and off for years now and I finally found it

Discospawn
Mar 3, 2007

devin2 posted:


1st: I remember nearly nothing about the movie except this small bit of one scene. I wanna say the film is from the 80s, all I remember is this human sized anthropomorphic caterpillar asking a regular human to wipe its rear end. I wanna say the caterpillar had just saved the guy's life and was asking for that in return but I'm not sure.


Freaked (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109838/?ref_=nv_sr_1)

Dumb movie that you'll watch all of because it's so weird (but not in the way it was trying to be)

codyclarke
Jan 10, 2006

IDIOT SOUP

donquixotic posted:

Well you're in luck. I spent my entire morning looking for it but I finally found it. It's called Virtual Nightmare, it's also on Youtube in full. Thank god that's over it's been on my mind on and off for years now and I finally found it

Alright, I need to see this thing. Walter from Fringe and Lamb from Veronica Mars? I'm in.

a gay lion named Tangiers
Jul 30, 2013

donquixotic posted:

Well you're in luck. I spent my entire morning looking for it but I finally found it. It's called Virtual Nightmare, it's also on Youtube in full. Thank god that's over it's been on my mind on and off for years now and I finally found it

Discospawn posted:

Freaked (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109838/?ref_=nv_sr_1)

Dumb movie that you'll watch all of because it's so weird (but not in the way it was trying to be)

Thank you both so much these are both exactly right.

Also codyclarke I haven't ever seen They Live (something I intend to correct) but I can certainly see why you suggested it, I was starting to doubt myself when I watched clips from it because it is so drat close to what I remembered.

Allyn
Sep 4, 2007

I love Charlie from Busted!
I remember seeing a few minutes worth of a Scott Bakula film about 15 years ago. The bit I remember was some woman, and possibly the police, talking to him about having taken pictures of his son during a bath. I looked through the plot synopses on imdb and didn't see anything that really fit, and considering the details I remember trying to Google seems like a very poor idea :tinfoil: Anyone know what it was, though?

e: Actually I checked through the TV movies too, maybe it's this?

Allyn fucked around with this message at 23:03 on Nov 18, 2015

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Allyn posted:

I remember seeing a few minutes worth of a Scott Bakula film about 15 years ago. The bit I remember was some woman, and possibly the police, talking to him about having taken pictures of his son during a bath. I looked through the plot synopses on imdb and didn't see anything that really fit, and considering the details I remember trying to Google seems like a very poor idea :tinfoil: Anyone know what it was, though?

e: Actually I checked through the TV movies too, maybe it's this?

If it's not that you might just be remembering a random episode of Quantum Leap, I remember 2000 era Sci-Fi channel was mostly re-runs of that and a half dozen other 70's-90's sci-fi tv shows, plus MST3k.

moller
Jan 10, 2007

Swan stole my music and framed me!

donquixotic posted:

Well you're in luck. I spent my entire morning looking for it but I finally found it. It's called Virtual Nightmare, it's also on Youtube in full. Thank god that's over it's been on my mind on and off for years now and I finally found it


devin2 posted:

Thank you both so much these are both exactly right.

Also codyclarke I haven't ever seen They Live (something I intend to correct) but I can certainly see why you suggested it, I was starting to doubt myself when I watched clips from it because it is so drat close to what I remembered.

I just watched this and it was kind of awesome.

It borrows heavily from They Live, as well as the Matrix, The Wizard of Oz (arguably even Zardoz!), and Freejack.

It kind of had one too many big reveals at the end, but it was still charming as heck.

Skunkrocker
Jan 14, 2012

Your favorite furry wrestler.

Discospawn posted:

Freaked (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109838/?ref_=nv_sr_1)

Dumb movie that you'll watch all of because it's so weird (but not in the way it was trying to be)

This movie is awesome I don't care what you say. :colbert:

SHISHKABOB
Nov 30, 2012

Fun Shoe
Long time ago, short film, it was a father and daughter in the southwest I guess and they had this well. They find out somehow that there is something down there and giving it a battery resulted in it sending a bit of gold back up. Dad goes holy poo poo and sends down a thousand batteries but gets poo poo in return. This pisses him off so he gets all his guns and lowers himself down for payback and his clothes come back up but he's dead I guess. Then the chick lives happily ever after with her well biddies.

I think another one of the flicks was about this writer who has a plant that somehow types out genius poo poo and it saves his career.

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ladron
Sep 15, 2007

eso es lo que es

SHISHKABOB posted:

Long time ago, short film, it was a father and daughter in the southwest I guess and they had this well. They find out somehow that there is something down there and giving it a battery resulted in it sending a bit of gold back up. Dad goes holy poo poo and sends down a thousand batteries but gets poo poo in return. This pisses him off so he gets all his guns and lowers himself down for payback and his clothes come back up but he's dead I guess. Then the chick lives happily ever after with her well biddies.

I think another one of the flicks was about this writer who has a plant that somehow types out genius poo poo and it saves his career.

This was an episode of, I believe, Amazing Stories.

edit: this one http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0511117/?ref_=ttep_ep9

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