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TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Yeah, that's not the worst thing of all time. It's really up there, though. Mussina is SP5 material, I guess, swinging between capable enough and downright abhorrent, and Wilks is a complete unknown that you might as well just have grabbed from some random scrap heap. The 24 year old version of Marichal has been decent enough, and I highly doubt losing one year on that is going to have that major an impact. But I'm starting four Schillings and a Bumgarner and fill my bullpen with starters, so what the gently caress do I know about pitching I guess.

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HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


Your team is performing well because you have THE CAPTAIN boosting everyone's morale.

BagOfDucks
Nov 9, 2009

HulkaMatt posted:

Kobe Crows send

1999 Mike Mussina
1948 Ted Wilks

Oventje Decroux send

1961 Juan Marichal


:getin:

:siren:ACCEPTED:siren:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WZawDKZlCY

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


well holy cow

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

TheMcD posted:

Yeah, that's not the worst thing of all time. It's really up there, though. Mussina is SP5 material, I guess, swinging between capable enough and downright abhorrent, and Wilks is a complete unknown that you might as well just have grabbed from some random scrap heap. The 24 year old version of Marichal has been decent enough, and I highly doubt losing one year on that is going to have that major an impact. But I'm starting four Schillings and a Bumgarner and fill my bullpen with starters, so what the gently caress do I know about pitching I guess.

Sometimes pitching is weird. I remember saying you made a terrible deal when you gave up Walter Johnson for Rob Dibble, and yet Johnson's continued to be kinda old and bad and Dibble was a huge part of your winning the division this season.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

HulkaMatt posted:

look i could have said ed walsh but i don't want to be a real shithead, and am going for something not....completely gently caress you to the league.

You know, HulkaMatt, you could let morality keep you from turning your team into a powerhouse. But let me ask you something...what would Marauder do if he were in the same boat?

I think he'd trade for both Juan Marichal and Ed Walsh.

Now, you could sit back, and just take Marichal, and that's great, if you are that committed to extending the Super-League record for most last-place finishes in a row.

But hey, you're a good guy, and I'm sure that ForeverBWFC, gingemidget, and Robert_Deadford all really appreciate how nice a guy you're being about this whole thing.

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


TBH Smasher, I wasn't positive you would go for it.

Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician


Traaaaaaaaades

Slaughterhouse Nine Receive:

1942 Bobby Doerr

Aperture Scientists Receive:

1934 Billy Herman
PTBNL (If the Scientists survive)

Monicro fucked around with this message at 00:27 on Nov 3, 2015

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

RCMP, Bombers.

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

by exmarx

Monicro posted:



Traaaaaaaaades

Slaughterhouse Nine Receive:

1942 Bobby Doerr

Aperture Scientists Receive:

1934 Billy Herman
PTBNL (If the Scientists survive)

accepted.

put herman on the bench in doerrs spot

tatankatonk
Nov 4, 2011

Pitching is the art of instilling fear.
:siren: Trade Alert :siren:

Akabira Killer Mikes receive:

1941 Harlond Clift

Colombus Natural Ones receive:

1945 Bob Feller
2007 David Wright

EclecticTastes
Sep 17, 2012

"Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped."

tatankatonk posted:

:siren: Trade Alert :siren:

Akabira Killer Mikes receive:

1941 Harlond Clift

Colombus Natural Ones receive:

1945 Bob Feller
2007 David Wright

CONFIRMED.

Also, the Natural Twenties will return to a five-man rotation.

EclecticTastes fucked around with this message at 00:41 on Nov 3, 2015

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa

tadashi posted:

Upstate could use a better third baseman than Eddie Matthews.

http://bit.ly/1Q0CGP9

Would Richie Ashburn be available?

Also, Marauder would you be willing to trade me back that Ashburn I dealt you? Left handed 4th OFers who can play CF are cool.

Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003
Wildcard Round
PICK THE WINNERS!

Dynamo League Wildcard Game
RCMP

Smasher League Wildcard Game
Oklahoma City Bombers

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
SCENE: A nearly abandoned strip mall in parts unknown. The only occupants appear to be a Halloween store, and a small office with a broken sign. There is a moving truck parked in front of the small office. Inside the small office is a folding table that looks like it came from WWE television. On the wall is a faded "Primerica" sign. Sitting behind the table is former French Prime Minister Paul Reynaud. Going in and out of the office is one of his two assistants, Sho Funaki.

: I did not think we would be acquiring so much paperwork. I didn't think Armitage would be this prepared, despite the record. Hopefully, I can use all of these careful notes to raise the EV-iL Corp Villains from the ashes. How many more boxes are left?

The mostly silent Funaki holds up five fingers. Reynaud nods his head. Over in the corner of the room, a slumping GenericGirlName rests. She appears to be talking in her sleep: "Zzzzz..... Metsmetsmetsmetsmetsmetsmets" is heard.

: Where is that fool Taka? We have some planning to do.

As if on cue..

: HA HA HA HA!

: ... what is that ridiculous get up? I don't think I've ever seen such ridiculous shade of colors in my life.

: I used some of the Mets particles! And I got the urge... to.. GO GOLFING! I SHOT, GET THIS.. A SEVENTY NIIIIIIIIINNNEE HA HA HA HA!

"mmmeeettttssss :(" GenericGirlName sadly snored.

: That's... almost nice. But you fool! We only have a limited supply of Mets particles until we fully get EV-iL Corp. up and running once again! Ugh.. well, do me a favor and hang the logo up on the wall there over that Primerica sign.

: I respect their eeeevvvillllness! But! I will have the logo up on the wall! Like so!

- EV-il Corp Villains. WE ARE EVIL!

: All right, let's get down to business and see if we can make a competitive baseball team out of these notes.

Reynaud grabs the first sheet of paper placed on his desk.

: "Armitage's to do list: 1) Kill Zack Ryder 2) Kill Zack Ryder 3) Kill Zack Ryder... hmm, this goes on for the rest of the page. Let me grab another, hmm.. more of the same..

Pretend there's a long montage here of Reynaud reading and growing ever more frustrated.

: 696969) Kill Zack Ryder... ugh. Maybe that green-ish paper will have something?

: This dot matrix paper? Perhaps! Let me read! Hmm! Nope, more of the same.

"i... broke the jabroni back.. also.. mettttssssss" snored GenericGirlName

: Hmm! This! This has something, boss!

The late Armitage posted:

If we survive:

For the first time in awhile my bullpen appears to be okay. I am hoping Dihigo and Smith bounce back to form next season. The rest of the rotation is probably fine. Smoltz and Koosman will likely stick around, and I can plug in anyone really at the #4 or #5 spot. An extra arm, or two, couldn't hurt but I think the staff should be good enough for next season.

I am mainly looking for a new first baseman and a LHP 2B to platoon with Dustin Pedroia.

I am potentially in the market for a shortstop with good+ defense that can handle the bat competently, and a right fielder. I mean, Arky Vaughan is a great hitting short stop and Sam Thompson is a great hitting right fielder but their defense is questionable. Sheffield is a fine power threat but is inconsistent.

: Hmm.. *continues reading* BOSS! There is a message! FROM FFAAAIIIRRGGGGAAAMMMMEEE!! HA HA HA HA!

: Let me take a look. Hmm... He is interested in Arky Vaughan. There are a few interesting pieces that he proposed. Hmm, I will have to look over his Space Fish team and decide if I am willing to work with him. This is interesting indeed. I will respond to Fairgame's message, shortly! First, we must prepare for pressing matters.

: Yess... the longest running episodic television show in history.... MONDAY NIGHT RRRAAAAWWWWW!!!

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


oh god

The Goog
Aug 6, 2007

It's a Goog Day, yes it is!
Pick Them!

Slaughterhouse
Bombers

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Armitage: I have Brian Roberts, Omar Vizquel, and Elmer Flick

tadashi
Feb 20, 2006

Can my end of season roster/lineups/etc just be my guantlet roster? The DH lineups were set and that's all the matters...

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company
Poor Zack Ryder. He gets no love. Even the Internet has abandoned him. :(

rabidsquid
Oct 11, 2004

LOVES THE KOG


Can I trade my pick 'em points in for a giant bag of gummy bears and an amazon gift card

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Man, kind of a shame Mogul doesn't allow six-man rotations. I had a plan, but I guess that's not happening.

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!


Dynamo League Wildcard Game
Slaughterhouse Nine @ RCMP

Smasher League Wildcard Game
Minnesota Commission @ Oklahoma City Bombers

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




Wildcard Round
PICK THE WINNERS!

Dynamo League Wildcard Game
Slaughterhouse Nine @ RCMP

Smasher League Wildcard Game
Minnesota Commission @ Oklahoma City Bombers

PASS THE MASH
Oct 30, 2013


Armitage: I have Miller Huggins, Johnny Pesky, Jose Vidro and Johnny Ray for LHP 2B. I have Cecil Travis who can probably fake it too.


BagOfDucks: Would you be interested in swapping Ed Walsh for Pete Alexander?

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Oh right, since I just saw both of you post, kensei and DOOP: I still want to trade for both of your Curt Schillings. Here's my roster. Since you're both EC teams, I figure you could use a lot of different kinds of players, so check out the stuff in the Mid-Level/Backup range and see if something in particular tickles your fancy.

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company
I am sad that I do not have a Schilling to throw on the pile, but I already did my part for the Many Schillings of Curt, so I'll get by.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
I really want TheMcD to thrive with a pitching staff comprised mostly of Schillings, but I have the feeling that the gimmickry he'd need to use to make it work would make mentholmoose have an aneurysm. On the other hand, do I really have the power to prevent mentholmoose from any aneurysm?

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!


TheMcD posted:

Oh right, since I just saw both of you post, kensei and DOOP: I still want to trade for both of your Curt Schillings. Here's my roster. Since you're both EC teams, I figure you could use a lot of different kinds of players, so check out the stuff in the Mid-Level/Backup range and see if something in particular tickles your fancy.

I'll be in IRC tomorrow, but I would be willing to move my Schilling if you wanna PM me an offer.

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Smasher Dynamo posted:

I really want TheMcD to thrive with a pitching staff comprised mostly of Schillings, but I have the feeling that the gimmickry he'd need to use to make it work would make mentholmoose have an aneurysm. On the other hand, do I really have the power to prevent mentholmoose from any aneurysm?
Killing the Southpaws with the Macho Men is probably a good first step.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Pander posted:

Killing the Southpaws with the Macho Men is probably a good first step.

The Macho Men cannot self-terminate.

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates
The Southpaws are actually a pretty good matchup for the Schillings, since they don't hit dingers. And it's not like the Despair have any righty power hitters for the Southpaw stadium to kill. It just turns into a question of whether the additional player quality McD gets from having both-handed hitters outweighs any bonus platoon advantage the Southpaws can achieve.

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

You know, there's an easy solution - just stick me in the Vae Victis. I can kill the Jobbers while I'm there! If I win the Sub-Par playoffs, that's where I'm going anyway.

kensei posted:

I'll be in IRC tomorrow, but I would be willing to move my Schilling if you wanna PM me an offer.

I'll hop into IRC later today.

EDIT: Though I do have a plan for the Southpaws, should worse come to worse. Even if I don't end up in Senor Goodtimes (or the Southpaws get machoed), I think it's probably a good idea.

TheMcD fucked around with this message at 13:24 on Nov 3, 2015

Robert Deadford
Mar 1, 2008
Ultra Carp
Dynamo League Wildcard Game
Slaughterhouse Nine @ RCMP

Smasher League Wildcard Game
Minnesota Commission @ Oklahoma City Bombers

Ice To Meet You
Mar 5, 2007

I should post this, too. Again, expansion team owners can play!

The Gauntlet, Round 1
Pick TWO to advance!


Antarctic Coldplayers
Mitt Romney and the Outsourcer's Stone
Mother Base Diamond Dogs
Oventje's Decroux!

blackmongoose
Mar 31, 2011

DARK INFERNO ROOK!

cbx posted:

Yeah, I doubt anyone is going to offer an 85-87 version of him any time soon. 25 years old is pretty good. Are you interested in my Lajoie for him? I also have a Robinson Cano, but he's really just a backup.

After doing some research, given my current pitching staff I think I prefer Whitaker's better defense. You'll probably have a good chance to trade for a dispersal draft pick to get him though!

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



TheMcD posted:

EDIT: Though I do have a plan for the Southpaws, should worse come to worse. Even if I don't end up in Senor Goodtimes (or the Southpaws get machoed), I think it's probably a good idea.
...really? Even though we'd play a handful of games at most, you'd develop some southpaw-killing strategy?

I love it. Never change, themcd.

tadashi
Feb 20, 2006

The Gauntlet, Round 1
Pick TWO to advance!


Coldplayers
Diamond Dogs

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Pander posted:

...really? Even though we'd play a handful of games at most, you'd develop some southpaw-killing strategy?

I love it. Never change, themcd.

From the Desk of TheMcD posted:

Dear Mr. Schilling,

Can I call you Curt? I feel like after watching your heroics in 2001, 2004, and 2007, I know you personally. Curt, I've long been a fan of you during your playing career, but even moreso I like the things you've said after you hung 'em up. I am only a German, to my great chagrin, and I'm often awed and envious at the things your liberal media allows you to say, even if they do unjustly suspend you after the fact. I know America is supposed to have freedom of speech, and what's more courageously outspoken than posting conservative memes on Facebook? It was pretty telling when you were unfairly attacked on Twitter by making public your doubts in the theory (theory!) of evolution. Who's to say dinosaurs were real? Not Carl Everett, that's for sure.

Anyway, I am writing to ask for your help. As it happens, I am the owner of a fantasy baseball team that uses players from throughout baseball history. One of the best things about the league is that you can have multiple versions of the same player, like in that one Jet Li movie, The One. Only instead of an evil shirtless Curt Schilling fighting a non-evil clothed Curt Schilling, I just have seven or eight versions of you--from your Phillies years to your Diamondbacks years to your Red Sox ones. I'm sure it will come as no surprise that my team, led by an army of Curt Schillings, laid waste to its league and won over 100 games. With any luck, I will acquire some more copies of you (the other owners in the league are too foolish to recognize your greatness, instead pinning their hopes on generic pitchers from the deadball era who didn't even know what Facebook was and certainly never played any videogames from 38 Studios) before next season.

Yet despite these obvious examples of your greatness, there's a problem: specifically, a team that embraces all things left: the Chicago Southpaws. Now, I try to play this game hard but fair, but when I'm faced with a team that is so far to the left, and is based in that crooked liberal bastion of Chicago, no less, I find myself frustrated. This leftist team led by a man calling himself "Pander" also wins over 100 games regularly, and it's pretty clear something is amiss. If their leftist tendencies weren't enough to convince you of this, consider this: they start Ken Oberkfell on the regular, and somehow he's an all-star. He also had something to do with Benghazi.

As I mentioned, I'm a German. And I know exactly what kinds of things happen when a LEFTIST is allowed to get too much power. Curt, only you have the power to stop this. If my virtual replicas of you cannot stop the Chicago Southpaws, then perhaps the real and obviously quite heroic Curt Schilling can. To that end, I ask that you discover the identity of this Pander and convince him of the error of his ways. I'm sure you have some intelligent and well thought out conservative memes you could spam him with. And if that doesn't work, perhaps you could negotiate a sweetheart deal and lead him into bankruptcy. Truly, you have an arsenal of weapons at your disposal.

Yours Truly,

TheMcD

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Yaya
Nov 14, 2012

vancloober cablucks
The Gauntlet, Round 1

Coldplayers
Romneys

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