TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

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Deep Hurting: Jan 19, 2006

Smoothrich posted:

no, it means "liberals are retarded" unless you think people like Ben Carson hate Black People too

I notice you have yet to weigh in on your favorite candidate's repeated insistence that the Pyramids of Giza were built to house grain, rather than the bodies of dead Pharaohs.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 13:36

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# ? May 15, 2024 21:51

Thump!: Nov 25, 2007; Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!

I was wondering when Smoothrich was gonna show up :munch:

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:04

Devor: Nov 30, 2004; Lurking more.

Patter Song posted:

So let's get back from Carson onto a more cheerful subject: Jeb!

So, as you know, Jeb's email address is jeb@jeb2016.com (sadly, jeb@jeb.org is dead). There's something different about Jeb! He actually responds to your messages. Especially if they're about football.

http://deadspin.com/sad-jeb-bush-is-just-sitting-up-at-night-waiting-to-ch-1740751274v

Jeb Bush is waiting up at night for you to email him happy things he likes to talk about, like football, fantasy football, and probably Chinese swords.

Someone should feed all the constituent emails that he published on his site into a Markov chain generator and then just start spamming the hell out of him with it. You could probably get him to devote an extra 1-2 staffers to responding to the emails.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:07

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Montasque posted:

He's going there.

Trump has been reading this thread. The puns are coming any minute now.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:10

SuperDucky: May 13, 2007; by exmarx

Deep Hurting posted:

As a teenager, Ben Carson was so smitten with his next-door neighbor Laura, he once used his scientific brilliance to construct a transformation chamber, hoping it would turn him from a nerdy, awkward, and annoying geek into a cool, confident, smooth operator suave enough to win her over.

But when he emerged from the chamber as Benn Carsón, this new personality was instead a dumb, violent psychopath, who went on a rampage stabbing friends with knives, clubbing relatives with blunt objects, and loudly proclaiming the Egyptian pyramids were used as grain silos instead of Pharaohs' tombs until Ben, thanks to Laura's encouragement, was able to briefly suppress Benn, climb back into the chamber, and return himself to normal.

Everybody learned a valuable lesson about the importance of being yourself, instead of trying to be something or someone you're not.

Or so we thought, for it soon became apparent that the Benn Carsón personality still lurked within Ben Carson's subconscious, periodically emerging and running amok, especially during times of great stress. So Ben, in order to learn how to remove this personality from his brain for good – even if it meant doing so by brute force – dedicated himself to the study of neurology. He became the world's greatest neursurgeon, but even this wasn't enough: the Benn Carsón personality was wily, and could not be isolated.

Out of options, Ben began heavily self-medicating with increasingly more powerful depressants, in an effort to at least smother the Benn Carsón personality. But this only exacerbated the problem, and now each personality alternates consciousness at random, while Benn Carsón constantly plots to finally take complete control of both their shared body, and the entire country.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, he's running for President now.

Dr. Carson and Mr. Benn: Fridays at 8 on ABC T.G.I.F.!

Making sure this made it on the next page.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:18

Xenophon: Jun 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless; Grimey Drawer

Xenophon posted:

and now

he's goin' full Trump against Carson this morning

e: also he spelled "stab" with two bs twice

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:34

Anne Frank Funk: Nov 4, 2008

Xenophon posted:

and now

he's goin' full Trump against Carson this morning

e: also he spelled "stab" with two bs twice

Probably was "he stabbed" at first but lawyers restrained Trump a little.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:37

blue squares: Sep 28, 2007

Xenophon posted:

and now

he's goin' full Trump against Carson this morning

e: also he spelled "stab" with two bs twice

No longer exists as "Bob"? Must be the source of Carson's idea about transgender bathrooms

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:38

Darkman Fanpage: Jul 4, 2012

You guys think Trump does his own tweets or dictates them to an assistant?

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:40

SixFigureSandwich: Oct 30, 2004; Exciting Lemon

Bob Stabb & the Carsons would be a good name for a band.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:42

WhiskeyJuvenile: Feb 15, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo

meanwhile, in Rick Santorum news

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:47

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Deep Hurting posted:

As a teenager, Ben Carson was so smitten with his next-door neighbor Laura, he once used his scientific brilliance to construct a transformation chamber, hoping it would turn him from a nerdy, awkward, and annoying geek into a cool, confident, smooth operator suave enough to win her over.

But when he emerged from the chamber as Benn Cars�n, this new personality was instead a dumb, violent psychopath, who went on a rampage stabbing friends with knives, clubbing relatives with blunt objects, and loudly proclaiming the Egyptian pyramids were used as grain silos instead of Pharaohs' tombs until Ben, thanks to Laura's encouragement, was able to briefly suppress Benn, climb back into the chamber, and return himself to normal.

Everybody learned a valuable lesson about the importance of being yourself, instead of trying to be something or someone you're not.

Or so we thought, for it soon became apparent that the Benn Cars�n personality still lurked within Ben Carson's subconscious, periodically emerging and running amok, especially during times of great stress. So Ben, in order to learn how to remove this personality from his brain for good � even if it meant doing so by brute force � dedicated himself to the study of neurology. He became the world's greatest neursurgeon, but even this wasn't enough: the Benn Cars�n personality was wily, and could not be isolated.

Out of options, Ben began heavily self-medicating with increasingly more powerful depressants, in an effort to at least smother the Benn Cars�n personality. But this only exacerbated the problem, and now each personality alternates consciousness at random, while Benn Cars�n constantly plots to finally take complete control of both their shared body, and the entire country.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, he's running for President now.

Dr. Carson and Mr. Benn: Fridays at 8 on ABC T.G.I.F.!

haha

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:49

William Bear: Oct 26, 2012; "That's what they all say!"

Darkman Fanpage posted:

You guys think Trump does his own tweets or dictates them to an assistant?

Good question. Thankfully, we have Mother Jones on the case!

http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2015/09/does-donald-trump-send-his-own-tweets

Sources claim he doesn't use a computer, his main electronic device is an iPhone. Only 3% of his tweets come from an iPhone, even if all iPhone tweets were directly from him, but it's possible many of the others were dictated.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:53

Bethamphetamine: Oct 29, 2012

quote:

Republican presidential contender Ben Carson is lashing out at the media, calling recent questions about his violent childhood past "a bunch of lies" and "pathetic."

Carson has come under recent scrutiny after failed media attempts to verify the violent childhood incidents he has publicly recounted. He stands by those stories.
"It is just garbage," Carson told CNN this morning. "We have too many things that are important to deal with."

The fiery criticism of the media comes as the retired neurosurgeon settles in as a front-runner for the Republican nomination and begins to face increased scrutiny.
One prominent story focuses on a friend or relative whom Carson says he once tried to stab. "I talked to him. He would prefer to stay out of the media and I want to respect that," he said.
�The story is well-documented," Carson continued. "If you choose not to believe it, if it doesn�t fit the narrative that you want, that�s fine. Let�s let the American people decide.�

A national Quinnipiac University poll taken before an investigation by CNN could not verify Carson's several childhood stories shows that an overwhelming 91 percent of Republican voters nationwide say that Carson is honest and trustworthy.

Carson also asserted in the interview this morning that Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton and President Obama did not undergo the same level of scrutiny by political journalists.

"Give me a break. Are you kidding?" Carson said, laughing. "What you all did with President Obama doesn't even come close; doesn't even come close to what you guys are trying to do in my case.

"I want you to ask Hillary Clinton the same questions you ask me. Will you do that? Promise you're going to do that? We're waiting."

CNN also questioned Carson�s comment that �we�d be Cuba if there were no Fox News.�
When asked whether Carson meant that the United States would be a communist country without Fox News, Carson accused host Alisyn Camerota of sensationalism.

"The media gave secret-muslim kenyan Obama an easier time than me."

-Ben Carson, serial DUI offender

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:54

Darkman Fanpage: Jul 4, 2012

WhiskeyJuvenile posted:

meanwhile, in Rick Santorum news

How has Santorum not realized that nobody likes him except weird old ladies?

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:56

Billy Gnosis: May 18, 2006; Now is the time for us to gather together and celebrate those things that we like and think are fun.

blue squares posted:

No longer exists as "Bob"? Must be the source of Carson's idea about transgender bathrooms

Wait a minute, "BOB"? Is it a Twin Peaks BOB / Leland Palmer situation?

Has Carson mentioned a death bag?

Billy Gnosis fucked around with this message at 14:59 on Nov 6, 2015

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:56

Mc Do Well: Aug 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

^ "And then I saw the face of God, and was changed"

Barack Hussein Obama's whole life story was a fabrication to cover up his conception and childhood under AntiAmerican Leftists. Why is the Liberal media attacking Dr. Ben Carson for getting some details wrong!?!

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:57

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

KidVanguard posted:

Goddamn. Even trump is befuddled by it.

Trump is one of the most rational, reasonable people in the Republican pack...with the exception of the anti-vaccination bit, which in my opinion was his low point. Other than that, none of this crazy 17th-century bullshit.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 14:59

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Seriously, gently caress you Cruz

quote:

JAKE TAPPER: Quickly if you could, you are speaking at a conference this weekend, the National Religious Liberties Conference in Des Moines. It�s organized by a guy named Kevin Swanson. You�ve been very outspoken about what you deem liberal intolerance of Christians, but Kevin Swanson has said some very inflammatory things about gays and lesbians. He believes Christians should hold up signs at gay weddings holding up the Leviticus verse, instructing the faithful to put gays to death because what they do is an abomination. I don�t hold you responsible for what other people say, but given your concern about liberal intolerance, are you not, in some ways, endorsing conservative intolerance?

TED CRUZ: Listen, I don�t know what this gentleman has said or hasn�t said. I know that when it comes to religious liberty, this is a passion of mine and has been for decades and that I have been fighting for religious liberty for everyone. Fighting for religious liberty for Christians, for Jews, for Muslims, for every one of us to practice our faith. And in the last six and a half years under the Obama administration, we have seen an assault on religious liberty from the federal government. You know, couple months ago I hosted a rally for religious liberty in Iowa had 2,500 people come out. The single biggest political event in the state of Iowa this year and we had nine heroes, people who stood up for their faith who just told their stories and it was powerful. You can go and watch those stories on our website, tedcruz.org and you know, the amazing thing is many in the media diminish threats on religious liberty say they�re not real. What I tried to do in that event is withdraw myself and have the focus be on them telling their stories.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R17...WPSFnLUQoEVA9UA

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:00

richardfun: Aug 10, 2008; Twenty years? It's no wonder I'm so hungry. Do you have anything to eat?

silvergoose posted:

He's trying to say "I believe in creation, and that I resemble my creator, God, and Obama believes in evolution, and resembles his ancestors instead, which are monkeys".

FAUXTON posted:

White people look like god while black people look like apes.

It's loving disgusting and precisely the type of garbage one would expect from a conservative piece of poo poo.

Riiight. First instinct was right then.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:06

Lancelot: May 23, 2006; Fun Shoe

Xenophon posted:

and now

he's goin' full Trump against Carson this morning

e: also he spelled "stab" with two bs twice

Not anymore!

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:12

Hieronymous Alloy: Jan 30, 2009; Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!; Morbid Hound

Phlegmish posted:

Trump is one of the most rational, reasonable people in the Republican pack...with the exception of the anti-vaccination bit, which in my opinion was his low point. Other than that, none of this crazy 17th-century bullshit.

Don't forget he is also a birther and a racist

But yes still.most reasonable Republican apart from possibly Kasich

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:13

The Nastier Nate: May 22, 2005; All aboard the corona bus!

HONK! HONK!; Yams Fan

Ben Carson is a plant by an evangelical group. It's part of a long con where Carson says the most insane things possible to make positions like intelligent design seem comparable by reason.
Soon we'll be saying about our candidates:
"Sure he believes the earth is 6000 years old, but at least he knows the pyramids were built for dead pharaohs!"

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:15

Ktb: Feb 24, 2006

Immortan posted:

An ABAB one would've stung more.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:27

Darkman Fanpage: Jul 4, 2012

Golden Bee posted:

It's a signal to evangelicals, AKA 50% of the Republican Base, that their beliefs are what Carson cares about. He's saying The Bible is Real, and so is Joseph, and he's my Friend.

But will he post in this thread next Thursday?

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:32

Patter Song: Mar 26, 2010; Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.; Fun Shoe

New IA poll from CNN only adds to the confusion there.

Clinton 55
Sanders 37
O'Malley 3

Trump 25
Carson 23
Rubio 13
Cruz 11
Jeb! 5
Fiorina/Jindal 4
Christie 3
Huckabee/Kasich/Paul/Graham 2

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:32

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

god
bless
america

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:34

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

http://politicalwire.com/2015/11/06/carson-misstates-experience-of-founding-fathers/

quote:

After Ben Carson suggested in a Facebook post that the signers of the declaration of independence has never, like himself, served in elected office, the Wall Street Journal quickly pointed out this was false.

�Thomas Jefferson, Samuel Adams, John Hancock and many other signers had been elected members of their colonial assemblies, prior to signing the Declaration.�

Carson amended his statement saying they has no �federal� elected experience.

Very clever, Ben. Very... clever... indeed. :golfclap:

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:41

StevePerry: Sep 5, 2003; don't stop believin

Ron Paul chiming in today to go on the record saying he's "scared to death" of a potential Donald Trump presidency.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:44

Xenophon: Jun 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless; Grimey Drawer

Joementum posted:

http://politicalwire.com/2015/11/06/carson-misstates-experience-of-founding-fathers/

Very clever, Ben. Very... clever... indeed.

ok that's pretty baller

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:44

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

How is BC still in second place, he's just saying the most retarded, factually wrong things that he can come up with.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:46

EugeneJ: Feb 5, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Peachstapler posted:

Ron Paul chiming in today to go on the record saying he's "scared to death" of a potential Donald Trump presidency.

Is he here illegally

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:48

Bryter: Nov 6, 2011; but since we are small we may-
uh, we may be the losers

Do It Once Right posted:

"The media gave secret-muslim kenyan Obama an easier time than me."

-Ben Carson, serial DUI offender

quote:

"I want you to ask Hillary Clinton the same questions you ask me. Will you do that? Promise you're going to do that? We're waiting."

"So uh, Hillary, about this grain silo theory of yours..."

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:48

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Bryter posted:

"So uh, Hillary, about this grain silo theory of yours..."

Honestly, I would love to hear Hillary Clinton's answer to, "Do you believe the Egyptian pyramids were grain silos constructed by Joseph?"

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:50

H5N1: Mar 8, 2005; heil satan

I can't believe how excited I am about the Jeb campaign!

H5N1 fucked around with this message at 23:14 on Oct 18, 2016

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:50

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Peachstapler posted:

Ron Paul chiming in today to go on the record saying he's "scared to death" of a potential Donald Trump presidency.

I want a Trump presidency just to piss off libertarians.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:51

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

Bryter posted:

"So uh, Hillary, about this grain silo theory of yours..."

Hillary didn't stab people, though, she had them shot.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:52

Aves Maria!: Jul 26, 2008; Maybe I'll drown

Immortan posted:

Dude is straight up a Francis Collins type of Christian.

Doesn't Francis Collins acknowledge evolution? He's more a Joel Osteen type of Christian imo

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:54

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

I hope the next Republican debate is nothing but questions about the agrarian practices of ancient Egypt.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:55

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# ? May 15, 2024 21:51

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

#bencarsonwikipedia is now trending. He's become meme, and not the good kind.

Thing is his base will stick with him no matter what, and Trump may be hurting himself by attacking gentle Ben.

# ? Nov 6, 2015 15:56

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