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Let's go hook up with the giant Roger Wilco - if he turns out to be rubbish I'm sure he can always die in a humiliating and hilarious manner. Seriously, kudos on creating this. I honestly thought The Bastard Sword of the Bastard Elf was a real book for at least half of the original post.
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Nov 7, 2015 13:52
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is that an uncucked bat monster?
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Nov 7, 2015 14:47
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I vote to not destroy everything and make ourselves loathed by the space bar patrons! Let's just get some jelly cube love, talk to/try to recruit the big fella, and I would still like to see what knife-Elvis is up to. We got the money to spend, no need to go smashing things up until the inexorable bar brawl breaks out. Our captain now has four fists and can spit teeth, so we should make a pretty good showing whenever people inevitably start whipping chairs and bottles at each other. Are we alone here or did we bring an away team? Or can we just pull any officer we want from the ship as needed? E: also, this is definitely one of the best pictures in the game so far. This bar scene and the scene with SuGaBa and the giant rage monster behind him when we went VR are both super impressive - as good as or better than any of the pictures in Bastard Elf. Two Free Toppings fucked around with this message at 15:53 on Nov 7, 2015 |
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Nov 7, 2015 15:47
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Ladies and gentleman, we've come to a crossroads here. With so much to do and so little time before those galactic pricks show up I think our course is clear. It's time to rock our cloaca off and show these aliens what a real Caiman Blood Ball is all about! If we're to make our
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Nov 7, 2015 16:03
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Solice Kirsk posted:Ladies and gentleman, we've come to a crossroads here. With so much to do and so little time before those galactic pricks show up I think our course is clear. It's time to rock our cloaca off and show these aliens what a real Caiman Blood Ball is all about! If we're to make our Also, we should use the raucous party as a distraction while we steal everything that's not nailed down then book it while the party is still going on. Applewhite fucked around with this message at 16:10 on Nov 7, 2015 |
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Nov 7, 2015 16:08
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What the gently caress kind of place is this? The meat isn't even properly fermented.
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Nov 7, 2015 16:08
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Applewhite posted:Also, we should use the raucous party as a distraction while we steal everything that's not nailed down then book it while the party is still going on. Yeah throw a party, spike the punch with some crazy drugs then clean the place out.
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Nov 7, 2015 20:43
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Making this a Caiman party is ahead on 7 or so votes, trying to chat up the tall space man and/or skeleton (both options involve playing some whist) are on 6 votes total. None of the prostitutes here are really going to do it for the Caimen and I doubt the patrons are going to believe our wild stories about an alien menace that's even worse than us so I think we're going in the right direction here. Lanky Coconut Tree posted:is that an uncucked bat monster? He still has his belt
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Nov 7, 2015 22:00
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Talk to the tall dude! E: apparently I already voted. But still! Tall guys are useful in all two fisted games.
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Nov 7, 2015 22:11
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Space whist first. Surely a lifetime of scams and dishonesty has prepared us to be a spectacular card cheat.
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Nov 7, 2015 22:20
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Chat up and enjoy ourselves
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Nov 7, 2015 22:25
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Modus Pwnens posted:Space whist first. Surely a lifetime of scams and dishonesty has prepared us to be a spectacular card cheat. Plus if we get caught we have four fists and can spit our teeth like ninja stars so yes, let's play whist and charm the ten foot human.
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Nov 7, 2015 22:50
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Toughy posted:Chat up and enjoy ourselves Yeah, let's just chill and talk to the tall dude in the johnny pose.
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Nov 7, 2015 23:27
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I've counted the votes: we'll play some Whist and then we'll have a party. Update in a little while.
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Nov 8, 2015 00:15
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Update Yesterday's page, complete:   Time for some gambling (135):  We have "Rowdy" and screw wasting all that energy to win a card game. Turning to 533:  This is the card, do we keep him or not? :  We decided to make this a Caiman party after cleaning up at Whist. 294:  So in this inevitably horrible series of events we trashed the bar. Crocmelia was the unfortunate victim of our robot hurling : she takes an injury, will be out for 5 days and is permanently dented by the experience (she will gain 1 CRAPULENCE and lose 1 EXPERTISE even after she's healed). We bit Savage Sid though - it cost 9 energy and we get nothing out of it aside from the knowledge that we won a barfight. With nothing more to do we will move back to the ship on the next update. In the meantime, a day has passed :  It's day 40. The Threshers will be arriving in this system today . Do we still want to fight or should we concentrate on getting away? Starship manifest:  I'll update the second post tomorrow morning as I've run out of time this evening.
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Nov 8, 2015 04:45
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loving run away max engines and take our ten foot Pole with us. If we have a choice go to Capella, because that sounds like the Gangster Planet and there should be plenty of loot.
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Nov 8, 2015 05:01
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Hellsau posted:loving run away max engines and take our ten foot Pole with us. If we have a choice go to Capella, because that sounds like the Gangster Planet and there should be plenty of loot. Agreed except that I don't have much of a preference for which system to go to based solely on the names. I think we should leave, but defer to whatever the popular choice for destination is.
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Nov 8, 2015 05:02
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We should jet. This place is dead anyway.
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Nov 8, 2015 05:09
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Hellsau posted:loving run away max engines and take our ten foot Pole with us. If we have a choice go to Capella, because that sounds like the Gangster Planet and there should be plenty of loot. Capella has a Tetatoid outpost. Those bird-men are in favour of low taxes, and operating heavy equipment (like starships, or their signature giant robots) while totally sloshed. If we can put up with their squawking, we might just find the crocodile-bird relationship to be well worth cultivating, especially with the Threshers behind us. Shout out to any oldbirds reading this thread.
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Nov 8, 2015 05:17
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FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! We really should see a bad ending
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Nov 8, 2015 06:28
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Get the Pole and get Away.
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Nov 8, 2015 06:41
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Grab the Pole, pucker up the Cloacaing Device and run like hell.
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Nov 8, 2015 06:52
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Continue the proud Caiman tradition of running like hell and letting someone else deal with the mess.
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Nov 8, 2015 07:22
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Let's see what evil lurks in armus.
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Nov 8, 2015 08:31
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Take the Pole and get the hell out of Dodge.
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Nov 8, 2015 08:36
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I thought the jelly prostitute was actually a sponge. Which is it? I feel knowing this is important. Also take the Pole, get out.
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Nov 8, 2015 12:12
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Solice Kirsk posted:FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
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Nov 8, 2015 12:40
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Gilganixon posted:Update  The only better option would have been Space Keith David brawling with our Rowdy crew member. I can't wait to go asteroid spelunking with our Pole. Take the Pole, book it out of there.
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Nov 8, 2015 15:06
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The most important thing is that we won.Ponderous Saxon posted:Grab the Pole, pucker up the Cloacaing Device and run like hell.
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Nov 8, 2015 15:33
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definitely keep the pole
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Nov 8, 2015 15:50
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I vote for Capella cause it looks like there's a gap in the nebula to our target zone. Don't want to be getting extra irradiated.
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Nov 8, 2015 15:52
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Derek Dominoe posted:Take the Pole, book it out of there.
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Nov 8, 2015 15:55
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nevermind!
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Nov 8, 2015 18:18
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Raptor1033 posted:I vote for Capella cause it looks like there's a gap in the nebula to our target zone. Don't want to be getting extra irradiated.
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Nov 8, 2015 18:19
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also voting to get the hell out of here. also thank you for the zardoz reference 
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Nov 8, 2015 22:02
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Hellsau posted:loving run away max engines and take our ten foot Pole with us. If we have a choice go to Capella,
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Nov 8, 2015 23:23
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You guys changed your tune mighty quick. Where's the fighting spirit from yesterday? A fight's coming anyway, which is what you get for drinking all night when you should have been running. Update We take the Ten Foot Pole along. Mirosław Hermaszewski should be considered human, but for whatever hateful reason Herman Skull has includes Poles under a separate entry in each gamebook's Bestiary (even in gamebooks that don't include Poles). You might remember this one from Sword of the Bastard Elf:  There's something similar in this book but it's basically the same joke so I won't pay Two-Fisted Steve to scan it in. What we have though is page 343, returning to the Supergalactic:  But as you'll recall, our friends the Threshers have caught up to us at last. There are rules covering this situation:  Turning to 666:  We most certainly can run - if we now want to do this it involves surviving at least one round with one of these ships and then jumping away. The options are going to be Capella or Armus. Given the chance to do a sensor scan you'd have a reasonable idea of the difference between the two, but in reality it's pretty minor - they are mainly a final chance to repair, fix up your crew and (maybe) waste our time before the end game, which is coming up very rapidly. In the meantime I want to know how we should handle this - can we take them? Should we try? Do we want to deploy our special weapons? Maximum coward option : Don't waste any energy. Use the Cloaca to avoid being hit in the first round and immediately panic jump Regular-type coward plan: As above but all power to shields,use the Orgasmotron, jump at end of first round. Not a coward at all scheme: Use all the tools at our disposal to try to win this thing. This will probably get us killed but I haven't checked. Here's the manifest. Very little has changed other than the Pole has been added and I remembered to include the Captain's extra FIST on the sheet to reflect the third arm he's grown.  Edit: Second post updated to include a pile of stuff that happened over the past couple of days. Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at 00:07 on Nov 9, 2015 |
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Nov 8, 2015 23:57
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Fight them? What are we, a Catte? Activate COWARDICE OVERDRIVE and blast that Cloaca edit: Oh yeah and head towards a Capella Poland Spring fucked around with this message at 00:06 on Nov 9, 2015 |
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Nov 9, 2015 00:04
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Maximum coward option to Armus
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Nov 9, 2015 00:05
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Regular coward option - the panic jump is going to reduce us to zero energy anyway, and blasting orgasms at the Sexless Threshers sounds like a good idea.
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Nov 9, 2015 00:12
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