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n8r posted:The only hope KG and Janus is to seek therapy and psychiatric treatments. No amount of posting on the internet or budgeting tricks will help him solve his financial issues. Looks like we're back at the same position as earlier that the thread needs to be closed as it's not helping KG. Stopping drinking and spending are two pretty sigificant goals that need to be achieved before this thread could help. Best to concentrate on those.
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Nov 12, 2015 21:25
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KG may not be in as dire straits, financially speaking, but he's definitely more Zaurg than Cornholio. The sad thing is, he's super loving lucky to have the income and support that he has, because he has the luxury of squandering it. Take away his job that pays well or add an unexpected medical expense and he's hosed. His situation isn't the biggest barrier to financial solvency; it's always been his attitude and habits, but those really haven't changed substantially over the course of 4 years. Step one needs to be sorting himself out mentally so that he can eliminate the stuff in his life that's negatively influencing him. Step two is for him to commit to actually stop lying to himself and others, to stop hiding information, and to stop chasing the idea that he can somehow balance his budget by shuffling spending categories around. It's at this point that he'll be ready to actually start a BFC thread, i.e. he'll be where he needed to be back in 2011 when he first came for help. Step three will be to set a budget and actually attempt to stick to it for several months with no changes to it and without impulsively spending $2,500 on purchases like a loving gaming computer, what the gently caress. Basically, KG has a long way to run before he even reaches the starting line.
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Nov 12, 2015 21:59
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That OP from 2011 was pretty enlightening  KG, what do you think when you re-read that? What would you say you've improved since then? What would you say is the same or worse?
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Nov 12, 2015 23:57
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IllegallySober posted:That OP from 2011 was pretty enlightening You know what he'll say. "We paid for the baby delivery! We used to do those check cashing thingies whatever the gently caress they're called, but not anymore! I made the huge sacrifice of not buying that game system! We've learned so much!" But reading that OP just shows he hasn't really made any lasting changes. He's still blowing a good amount of money on stupid poo poo. He still impulse buys. Cars cars cars! This thread is pointless. Close it. Get therapy or a life coach.
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Nov 13, 2015 00:24
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I do not think keeping this thread open for long periods of time is productive. I think KG should close the thread, work on his goals, and come back with regular updates on his progress.
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Nov 13, 2015 00:32
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foxatee posted:This thread is pointless. Close it. I'm not going to close the thread. To no one in particular: What improvements have I made since 2011? Well I'm not unemployed and I'm making more in a paycheck than I made in a month there, and those were gross wages for unemployment being reported in that other OP. I find it extremely distasteful to say "well since that other thread nothing has changed", because we were living in poverty for 2 years after that first thread was made. It's kind of hard to develop good money habits in a situation like that. That other thread everyone kept telling me to stop with the business, but that business really helped me start my current career, and has made me like $30,000 since that thread (including contracting which was the bulk of it). Breetai posted:KG may not be in as dire straits, financially speaking, but he's definitely more Zaurg than Cornholio. Lucky? I've been working with computers since I was in 5th grade and I got my hands on my first one. That's when I built my first website and started to learn HTML. I had my first taste of logical programming at 11, I started working with C++ and PHP by the time I was 13, and I was running two mildly successful websites making profits by the time I was 17. I've been running Linux or Windows servers of some sort for about 10 years. I'm not lucky to have my career or income. I've earned it through two decades of learning. Unexpected medical expense? Our emergency fund would cover our out of pocket maximum deductible. My job? I've figured this out with my wife. Using our money on hand we could make it for quite awhile. Her job much longer. Obviously our rate of spending would change drastically for awhile. Yes I'm lucky for the support. Despite the overall tone in this thread, I've found this process incredibly helpful for the majority of it. It's made me face a lot of crap I was perhaps blind to. Really where I'm going with this for this month, is I'm going to talk about the goals I just set, and how the budget is going at the end of the month. All that said we had a stellar month last month, and we're on track for a good month this month. Can't do much else but that, and my goals that I listed before for now. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 01:01 on Nov 13, 2015 |
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Nov 13, 2015 00:56
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n8r posted:I do not think keeping this thread open for long periods of time is productive. I think KG should close the thread, work on his goals, and come back with regular updates on his progress. Meh it's fine. I expect everyone to be all pissed off. It's not really stressing me out this time. People can say what they will.
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Nov 13, 2015 00:57
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Knyteguy posted:All that said we had a stellar month last month, and we're on track for a good month this month. Can't do much else but that, and my goals that I listed before for now. Correct me if I'm wrong because I'm constantly confused by YNAB but it looks like you went over your discretionary by $125, over in entertainment by $139 and over in restaurants by $234 in October. Do you consider that stellar?
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Nov 13, 2015 01:20
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Josh Wow posted:Correct me if I'm wrong because I'm constantly confused by YNAB but it looks like you went over your discretionary by $125, over in entertainment by $139 and over in restaurants by $234 in October. Do you consider that stellar? I was just about to ask the same question so you're not alone. I'm still learning YNAB but that's about what I'm seeing as well.
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Nov 13, 2015 01:24
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It doesn't matter how much money you make if you still have the same stupid habits.
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Nov 13, 2015 01:38
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Knyteguy posted:To no one in particular: Doesn't matter how much you make if you just keep spending it. Knyteguy posted:I find it extremely distasteful to say "well since that other thread nothing has changed", because we were living in poverty for 2 years after that first thread was made. If you get fired tomorrow you'll be back in poverty in <60 days unless you find another job. You're not living paycheck to paycheck, but you're only one step away from it. Knyteguy posted:It's kind of hard to develop good money habits in a situation like that. I 100% completely disagree. You know what's at stake if your finances fall apart (moving back in with your parents like you did 4 years ago). You've been through it before. You should be completely motivated to make sure it never happens again. Knyteguy posted:All that said we had a stellar month last month, and we're on track for a good month this month. Can't do much else but that, and my goals that I listed before for now. You've consistently throughout this thread had "one good month and on track for anther good month". I've literally said this >12 times, but one month doesn't count. I'll be impressed when you've had 3 stellar months in a row, or 6, or heaven forbid 12. Doing good one month is worth jack poo poo if you blow it up the next month. It also won't do you any good to have 6 great months and 1 horrible month. Again, Knyteguy, it's simple. Stop. Spending. Money. On anything. For like a long time. Consistently. Everyone in this thread wants you to succeed. Most of us have been posting in it for over 2 years. Wanting you to succeed. You know what you need to do, so go do it. That's going to be my last post for the foreseeable future. Good luck.
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Nov 13, 2015 01:38
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Your biggest financial accomplishment in this thread has been "don't live month-to-month" and your second-biggest has been "figure out how to pay a large bill that takes more than one month to save for". Everything else has been pretty lackluster, to be honest, and as someone else said, you're two months of missed paychecks away from being hosed. Your spending habits are still impulsive and you are somehow still unable to stick to a budget, despite being the one to set that budget. Spending 500 out of 500 on restaurants is better than spending 350 out of 200 on restaurants, in my opinion, because at least then your long-term plans don't get messed up. Are you still on track for getting out of debt by May 2017? Show us the numbers for that, and if you aren't, please explain how last month was a huge success.
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Nov 13, 2015 03:02
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Knyteguy posted:I'm not going to close the thread. Yes, yes, you're a self made captain of industry off of the sweat of your brow, but do you maybe want to address the other key points of that post? Like how you have been consistently hiding or misrepresenting information from us for literally years? Or your constant shell games with money and budget categories? Or how after four years you've still not managed to set and stick to a budget or to avoid making multi thousand dollar unplanned (and often frivolous) purchases for more than a couple months at a time? The only person you're fooling is yourself.
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Nov 13, 2015 03:54
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Breetai posted:Yes, yes, you're a self made captain of industry off of the sweat of your brow, but do you maybe want to address the other key points of that post? Like how you have been consistently hiding or misrepresenting information from us for literally years? Or your constant shell games with money and budget categories? Or how after four years you've still not managed to set and stick to a budget or to avoid making multi thousand dollar unplanned (and often frivolous) purchases for more than a couple months at a time? I feel like all of those are loaded questions, so I think it'd be best not to answer them at this point. Horking Delight posted:Your biggest financial accomplishment in this thread has been "don't live month-to-month" and your second-biggest has been "figure out how to pay a large bill that takes more than one month to save for". Everything else has been pretty lackluster, to be honest, and as someone else said, you're two months of missed paychecks away from being hosed. I don't know re the May 2017. Getting back the Oculus helps though. Should be around that time frame or better. I did commit to keeping track of that, so I'll math it up within the next few days. It's still a very loose guess since I don't know what my wife's post-insurance paycheck will be at the moment. I think it's worth mentioning that both of our credit scores have gone up over 100 points. We've shown responsible credit card use for a year now, and you can see in the previous OP how we used credit cards. We've also learned to plan for expenses like registration, vet bills, baby proofing and more, and all of those have been tried and tested, and they were successful. And you guys won't like to hear it, but as far as the car goes we did pay for that in cash, and it was cheap. I've never bought a car up front without some sort of financing. Work to go guys. I understand all of your frustration, and I appreciate the continued support. Bugamol said it really well above: If we have 6 good months, and then 1 horrible month, then it doesn't really matter. I've never really thought about it like that. Josh Wow posted:Correct me if I'm wrong because I'm constantly confused by YNAB but it looks like you went over your discretionary by $125, over in entertainment by $139 and over in restaurants by $234 in October. Do you consider that stellar? Perfect is the enemy of good. As a whole we did really well in October. We went over in some categories, and under in others. It's wasn't a February, but it was good. Speaking of February, look at this beauty:  We did that once, so we can do that again and again. The emergency fund was our buffer, so that was used correctly and as planned.
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Nov 13, 2015 04:57
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Horking Delight posted:Your biggest financial accomplishment in this thread has been "don't live month-to-month" and your second-biggest has been "figure out how to pay a large bill that takes more than one month to save for". Everything else has been pretty lackluster, to be honest, and as someone else said, you're two months of missed paychecks away from being hosed. Meant to get to this last post, and I'm on my phone now so I can't quote edit. I'm not sure re the May 2017 timeline. I was supposed to keep up with that, so I'll recalcuate with some guesstimates regarding my wife's salary. Anyway mostly wanted to say good post, and you're right.
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Nov 13, 2015 05:10
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I know it's like the BFC house style, but acting like nothing has changed for the guy since 2011 when it clearly has isn't helpful - when posts are that hyperbolic I'm guessing it's just going to make him tune out the good points and advice. Backing up a little - you are on the right track thinking about willpower as finite. Think about that some more - what can you take off your plate when it comes to decision making? As a business owner, I have to make decisions constantly, and it wears on a person. I try to automate as much of my life as possible mostly to try to lessen willpower/decision making fatigue. The more you can make certain things automatic (paying bills, working out, whatever really, these are just things that come to mind first) the easier staying on track gets. If you have to summon up your willpower for every single thing it definitely becomes a challenge to tackle new things because you're depleted just from doing the average, getting through the day stuff. You might benefit from reading these: http://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Rediscovering-Greatest-Human-Strength/dp/0143122231 or this: http://www.amazon.com/The-Power-Habit-What-Business/dp/081298160X/ref=pd_bxgy_14_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1JVA08WD2DM3D43M5WK4 Quick reads. Use your library though, no need to buy them.
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Nov 13, 2015 07:17
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Knyteguy posted:Speaking of February, look at this beauty: This is a very reasonable looking budget. Not quite sure how the baby is only $100/month, but if that works, go for it. I, as well as anyone else, would really question your ability to do it again and again. I definitely think it's possible.
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Nov 13, 2015 07:41
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Knyteguy posted:Perfect is the enemy of good. As a whole we did really well in October. We went over in some categories, and under in others. It's wasn't a February, but it was good. I agree October was ok overall but be realistic here, you spent $500 over your alloted budget in completely discretionary categories. It's not like those categories were low either except for the unrealistic entertainment budget. Set reasonable goals and stick to them. Seriously just do that for 3 months in a row just once at least.
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Nov 13, 2015 12:23
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I think this thread needs to be closed and reopened after KG has a few months of therapy in. I feel that keeping this thread open allows the continued delusion that the forces affecting KGs finances are entirely budgetary and the impulsivity and casually mentioned substance abuse plays no part. I don't think he owes anyone an explanation of his actual usage, but a number of things that are mentioned quickly then swept under the rug would indicate that the problem is bigger than he lets on. I'm not going to play internet psychologist any further. I am going to call bullshit on this claim that you have medical coverage but can't receive care, or find any info on coverage, until you receive the physical cards in the mail. Call the insurance company and find out what your coverage is. You don't need to bring a physical card with you, the doctor/councilors's office will look you up and verify with the company. Therapy now.
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Nov 13, 2015 18:13
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Frankly that therapy is the only reasonable strategy is no new revelation and the toe dragging on beginning it is no surprise. I expect that KG's esteem for October's performance will drop after he does a debt paydown calc again. It's really important not to fudge that plan to make it more aggressive so that you can keep the same paydown date, KG. When you slip you slip your debt free date Not because I said so or some model you came up with a month and a half ago has some magical power to enforce reality to conform to it. Because ratcheting up a paydown plan to make it more aggressive is precisely the opposite of the behavior you decide to engage in which requires the aggressive adjustment.
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Nov 13, 2015 18:49
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I basically lost patience in here and stopped posting, but I want to point this out: You just said that you couldn't have been expected to learn anything from your time basically living in poverty. Am I the only person who remembers a lot of crowing from you about how great you did living at that income level? I feel like, previously, you have repeatedly pointed back to that time in your life as proof of your ability to live within a budget. You play a lot of mind games with yourself.
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Nov 13, 2015 21:58
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Knyteguy posted:I feel like all of those are loaded questions, so I think it'd be best not to answer them at this point. Stop defending yourself and accept that you are "guilty". They are wrong in claiming/implying you have not made some progress, you are wrong in making out your progress to be so significant. The truth is you have made poor progress, i.e. not too good, but not nothing either. You should be mildly ashamed of yourself, and strive harder.
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Nov 14, 2015 12:07
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Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart. Fart.
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Nov 15, 2015 01:02
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n8r posted:This is a very reasonable looking budget. Not quite sure how the baby is only $100/month, but if that works, go for it. I, as well as anyone else, would really question your ability to do it again and again. I definitely think it's possible. There was no childcare cost that month because there was either no baby or Janus was on maternity leave (sorry KG, I don't remember which month the boy was born). So that line item is bulked up for another three or four years. Also when I looked back to verify that, the next month was when he wanted to pay $10 a month for that meal plan that told him to eat ice cream for breakfast.
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Nov 16, 2015 06:08
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detectivemonkey posted:Also when I looked back to verify that, the next month was when he wanted to pay $10 a month for that meal plan that told him to eat ice cream for breakfast. I wouldn't pay $10/month for that I'd just eat ice cream for breakfast anyway. I can tell you from experience that it is a bad life choice, not just diet. Back on topic: why is this thread still open?
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Nov 16, 2015 06:40
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Why wouldn't this thread still be open? What is so hugely offensive about keeping it open? Who does the thread exist for at this point? I would think Knyteguy, and if so, the closing of the thread is his call. I doubt he opened it to validate peoples' armchair psychologists degrees.
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Nov 16, 2015 07:14
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BossRighteous posted:Why wouldn't this thread still be open? What is so hugely offensive about keeping it open? Who does the thread exist for at this point? I would think Knyteguy, and if so, the closing of the thread is his call. I doubt he opened it to validate peoples' armchair psychologists degrees. KG's problem isn't people psychoanalysing him, rightly or wrongly, it's that he is operating as the punchline to an ancient SNL skit in his real life and has done so after literally years of being given advice by people in this forum. There's an unwillingness to change his habits that he's not making any headway on, and I honestly believe that he needs a Cornholio-esque rock-bottom-oh-poo poo-I-just-lost-my-ability-to-work-and-now-understand-how-precarious-my-position-really-is moment before he'll actually make some positive lasting changes.
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Nov 16, 2015 14:04
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BossRighteous posted:Why wouldn't this thread still be open? What is so hugely offensive about keeping it open? Who does the thread exist for at this point? I would think Knyteguy, and if so, the closing of the thread is his call. I doubt he opened it to validate peoples' armchair psychologists degrees. I agree, I think it should stay open. All these dorks calling for blue story to get banned and her thread to move.. Look at it now. It's a bunch of boring humblebragging about the wonderful coq au vin or some poo poo now. This thread is like the last one left full of open hostility to the OP, aside from the houseboat thread. I vote this stays open.
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Nov 16, 2015 18:51
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So... Any update? How's the therapy search?
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Nov 24, 2015 03:23
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Horking Delight posted:So... Any update? How's the therapy search? He doesn't have an insurance ID card and of course never even thought of calling his provider and getting the information over the phone. I love checking in on this thread and seeing no attitude changes. Of course you had life improvements, but your attitude of spend spend spend and not trying to find solutions to problems is appalling. You're a father and a husband. Act like one. Get therapy, read a self help book (from your local library)
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Nov 24, 2015 15:52
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So you were really confident that November was going to go well. How'd it go?
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Dec 3, 2015 02:59
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The last few posts by KG make me sad  Cheer me up with a good November report!
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Dec 3, 2015 18:07
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I'm predicting a backslide. November (family time + possibly a huge Thanksgiving meal + Black Friday shopping) isn't a great month for spending and December (more family time, plus Christmas) is even worse.
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Dec 3, 2015 19:45
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Horking Delight posted:I'm predicting a backslide. November (family time + possibly a huge Thanksgiving meal + Black Friday shopping) isn't a great month for spending and December (more family time, plus Christmas) is even worse. Dude, don't worry. He'll just sell a bunch of the stuff he bought on black Friday in June of 2016 and count it as a windfall so he can go on a family trip.
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Dec 3, 2015 20:16
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Sure, he'll spend more up front, but he'll put some of those gifts in the freezer to defray the expense next time a birthday comes up.
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Dec 4, 2015 01:39
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Knyteguy you budget like the Lions play football - You get really far ahead, but still manage to blow it before accomplishing anything.
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Dec 4, 2015 17:48
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An update would be nice.
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Dec 4, 2015 18:15
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spwrozek posted:An update would be nice. I can probably write it for him: "November was pretty bad, and so I won't actually update until I can juggle some things around and try to hide it, posting random partial YNAB screenshots in the meantime, so the goons will start picking my posts apart till they find what I bought that I've needed for years but never bothered to mention or budget for, then I'll say that whatever I went over on was a one-time expense, and I'll kick rear end in December, and I've learned my lesson, and sheesh everybody doesn't have to be so nasty, I saved up that one time for my baby's birth I can totally do this you guys." Sound about right?
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Dec 4, 2015 18:32
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After last night's game I can only imagine a steady diet of alcohol and cigs until he gets a burst of "life-changing" motivation around New Year's.
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Dec 4, 2015 19:49
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For lions fans that is just another Packer game. So he can't really be too down about it.
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Dec 4, 2015 20:12
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