|
photomikey posted:Suggestions on a birthday party for a 6 year old girl? The thing with kids' parties is that you either pay with money or effort. Having a sheet cake and bored teenager may not be super exciting for you, but it's pretty low effort. If you wanted to do something similar at your house or local park, you'd need to put a lot more time, energy and thought into food/ decorations/ child-proofing/ entertainment, and all for probably for not much less cash. The tedious parent small talk is kinda inevitable, unless you want to sole responsibility for a dozen six-year-olds. Sounds like your best bet would be an activity like a craft place or a museum or aquarium. Also, why don't you ask your daughter what she'd like to do? My kids have pretty strong views on how they want to celebrate birthdays.
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2015 20:14
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 30, 2024 09:21 |
|
|
Ten-pin bowling places here have kids parties. They're great. Bowling, loud music and lights, plenty of activities.
|
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2015 21:31
|
|
|
kirsty posted:Also, why don't you ask your daughter what she'd like to do? My kids have pretty strong views on how they want to celebrate birthdays.
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2015 08:09
|
|
|
photomikey posted:No strong leaning, right now. She kinda wants to do whatever we suggest. Suggest chores, see if that inspires a strong leaning on her part?  (My wife is going to be very upset with me come birthday time, I like parties but abhor every part of the concept of birthdays, second in "worst time of year" only to christmas)
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2015 15:08
|
|
|
The grand parents took my daughter's 4 year and ran with it. When we got in town there was already a bounce house set up and a few family friends with their youngins in tow. Not sure how I'm going to handle them as she gets older but we got lucky (Or maybe we didn't) that her birthday is Oct 28th, so Halloween themes are always an idea.
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2015 15:26
|
|
|
I'm going through a divorce and have a 4 and 1 year old which I have shared access. We've gotten through many hurdles moving from a home to a one bedroom apartment (all I can afford) and the sleeping arrangements are working exceptionally well now. My eldest no longer has accidents and he feels comfortable sleeping in my home. My youngest, he's no longer waking up at 2, 3, 4, and 5 with tantrums. Both sleep in considerably well, sleeping from 7:30 pm to either 6 am to 7 am. It was rough as they both co-sleep with their mother at her parents home. What I need help with is discipline. Their mother is very much the threaten and not follow-through type, so I need to keep re-establishing my ground rules. I have very straight forward ground rules for my home... hands to ourselves, sharing, listening (no talking back), and keeping the noise level appropriate indoors. 95% of the time, amazing boys, but that 5% of the time I need to work hard to keep composure. I have two problems... having a quiet spot where my youngest doesn't interrupt or distract my oldest is near impossible. He just wants to play with his brother which I love, but when my oldest gets hyper and attention keeps being fed to him he sees being disobedient as a game (he's a kid, duh). I don't want to have time outs in a separate room but I don't see another choice when he gets amped up. My second issue is with my youngest. His way of dealing with frustration is dropping to his knees and hitting his fore head on the floor. I try to prevent it as much as possible, if I pick him up and put him in a chair he slides off and continues. If I hold him and console him he tries to head butt me. He's gotten me really good a few times as well. Last week he had an episode while we were leaving for school and he started hitting his head after getting his jacket on. While no actual damage was done, he had a bloody nose which gushed all over his jacket, clothes, me, the floor... My questions to the thread are, is there any really recommended reading material on parallel parenting or parenting after a separation? Is there any recommendations for a head banger other than patience?
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2015 15:59
|
|
|
Thomase posted:I'm going through a divorce and have a 4 and 1 year old which I have shared access. My 15 month old does the headbanging as well. If she gets frustrated she drops to her knees and hits her fore head on the floor. Or she will actively seek out some piece of furniture to hit it on. Rarely hard enough to do anything other than scare her sometimes (although a couple of times she gets a little too dramatic and smacks it pretty hard which usually causes her to quit because she's like "whoa.. did not mean to do that."). We're heading to the doctor today for a regularly scheduled checkup and will ask there, but I'm interested in hearing other opinions.
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2015 16:04
|
|
|
I've heard the hang banging thing is common and usually self-regulating (they will stop doing it if it's getting to the point where they are hurting themselves). I might suggest letting him, but encouraging him to do it in a way where a bad result is unlikely? Like seeing if you can convince him to bang his head into a pillow or some other firm but not AS firm object or something instead? No advice on the rest, it honestly sounds like you're doing a good job overall, esp. considering the situation.
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2015 16:41
|
|
|
Thomase posted:I'm going through a divorce and have a 4 and 1 year old which I have shared access. High five fellow going through a divorce with kids buddy!   . Stay strong!It sounds like you're doing fine, as is, as tough as it might feel. They'll figure who they can and can't push boundries with, so as long as you continue to discipline them and stick to what you say, they'll learn that dad means business and that they have rules to follow with dad that they don't have to with mom. The head banging thing is normal. I used to do it as a tiny kid too.
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2015 17:01
|
|
|
For my family, birthdays are a family thing. We go out to dinner at the restaurant of the birthday-person's choice, eat a home made cake at home, and give one nice gift, job done. Birthday parties, especially for smaller kids are a goddamn nightmare for all the reasons listed in the previous posts. Too much pressure on the birthday-kid, a huge pile of crappy "what is 11$ at walmart?" plastic toys that have nothing to do with the birthday childs interests, and bored parents alternating between managing their children and playing with their phones. Why do this to people?
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2015 18:23
|
|
|
Slo-Tek posted:For my family, birthdays are a family thing. We go out to dinner at the restaurant of the birthday-person's choice, eat a home made cake at home, and give one nice gift, job done. It's pretty great when kids get a bit older and parents of the guests decide that they can give up the pretense of wanting to get a nice present and just sticks a fiver in the card instead. The last invite-the-whole-class party my middle child had (when he was 8 I think?) he made about £130.
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2015 18:53
|
|
|
Slo-Tek posted:For my family, birthdays are a family thing. We go out to dinner at the restaurant of the birthday-person's choice, eat a home made cake at home, and give one nice gift, job done. We do both, the family thing on the actual day and a party on the closest weekend. Our son is still young enough that the parties involve more or less the same 6 families whom we've known since, or before, our kids were born (4 years ago). We hang out with them regularly, so the party is as much of an adult party as it is a kids party. We even invite some child-less friends who are happy to hang out, see the kids play and destroy a pinata, and even contribute to the party with a home-made cake.
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2015 19:10
|
|
|
All I ask of anyone reading this thread is that if they get an invitation to a party and your kid says "eww, that's the weird kid" just go, make him go, stay if you are truly worried something will happen when you're not there but don't let 5 and 6 year olds shun a kid for kindergarten reasons. - mom to a very sad 6-year-old last year when only 1 kid out of a class of 27 showed up to his party. Luckily, the older kids across the street were happy to fill in and his cousins from the next town over dropped everything and showed up.Slo-Tek posted:Birthday parties, especially for smaller kids are a goddamn nightmare for all the reasons listed in the previous posts. Too much pressure on the birthday-kid, a huge pile of crappy "what is 11$ at walmart?" plastic toys that have nothing to do with the birthday childs interests, and bored parents alternating between managing their children and playing with their phones. Why do this to people?
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2015 02:42
|
|
|
We rented a bounce house for cheap for my son's second birthday. Had a bunch of similar aged kids over, set up all our outside toys and a sprinkler, and everyone had a blast. My now 2.5 year old still talks about how fun his bounce house was every once in a while.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2015 03:26
|
|
|
sheri posted:We rented a bounce house for cheap for my son's second birthday. Had a bunch of similar aged kids over, set up all our outside toys and a sprinkler, and everyone had a blast. My now 2.5 year old still talks about how fun his bounce house was every once in a while. I feel kinda bad for not doing this for my older son's second (or third) birthday, given that he still talks about how much fun my husband's godson's birthday party was a year later and asks to go to "[that kid's] birthday" when I ask if there's anything he wants to do. (For example, "Wow, you stayed in your bedroom all night, and we don't have any errands we have to run today, so would you like to go do something special with Mommy?" "Let's go to [godson's] birthday!") The problem is, that kid (thirteen months older than my older son) is the only kid we know; I take my son to Gymboree twice a week but I never actually talk to any of the other moms because during class we're all actually involved with it and after class everyone leaves as fast as they can put their shoes back on, in three years of trying I haven't met any moms with toddlers at church, and the neighbor kids are all much older. 
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2015 03:49
|
|
|
Thomase posted:
For the record, I talked to my pediatrician today about the head banging and he basically said it's a normal phase and that, when it's safe to do so, see if you can just ignore it as it's usually a cry for attention (evolved from the parental protection of a baby's head I guess?).
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2015 03:57
|
|
|
hepscat posted:mom to a very sad 6-year-old last year when only 1 kid out of a class of 27 showed up to his party. Luckily, the older kids across the street were happy to fill in and his cousins from the next town over dropped everything and showed up. That's rough (reading that really made my Mom Heart ache.) I hope it was salvaged enough for him by the other kids and cousins. Last year, we invited the whole class for the bowling party and I was relieved when finally enough "yes" RSVP's came in that I was sure we were over the threshold of hurt feelings. (Out of a class of 20, we had 9.) As much as I dislike doing the whole party thing, it is to make the kids happy (like you said.) We've never declined a kid-party invitation (unless we had an honest conflict) for the very reason of what happened to your son. At least, that's what's in the back of my adult mind. For the kids, they've always been happy to go eat cake for whomever is inviting them. 
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2015 04:12
|
|
|
BonoMan posted:For the record, I talked to my pediatrician today about the head banging and he basically said it's a normal phase and that, when it's safe to do so, see if you can just ignore it as it's usually a cry for attention (evolved from the parental protection of a baby's head I guess?). Thank you for this.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2015 13:00
|
|
|
Not sure if this is allowed, but thought I'd point out that a bunch of Hape toys are 50% off as the deal of the day on Amazon. They have really great open-ended wooden toys that actually support child development. Good for babies through early elementary age. I know it's hard to wade through the barrage of kid toys out there, so I figured this might be helpful. We try to keep things simple with our little guy. I'm curious how everyone else keeps the holiday kid stuff in check. More specifically, what do you do to help your child learn to be grateful and not become entitled? My little guy is only 19 months, but he's becoming more aware so I think we need to be conscious of how we are doing things.
|
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 16:29
|
|
|
My oldest is at the stage where every new kids toy on TV ends with her running to one of us and saying she wants it. She doesn't get anything and is given a firm "No" as an answer, though at the same time we're secretly keeping a list and watching her behavior to see what the really awe inspiring items are. We're dealing with a lot of temper tantrums whenever she's told no right now. If I go out to walk the dog and she asks to come with (Raining/cold out and she's not dressed for either) I tell her no and when she stomps her foot and crosses her arm (an unfortunate habit learned from her only-child cousin) she gets sent to her room on timeout. Apparently she's having an issue with this at school as well (pre-school). The last time I picked her up her teacher informed me that she wasn't able to partake in a "treasure chest" exercise because she yelled at the teachers assistant and refused to help clean up during clean up time. This is all new to me as my wife doesn't deem me worthy when it comes to passing on her school behavior after I get off of work.
|
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 18:58
|
|
|
You gotta fast forward through those commercials man. It sounds like the real answer on those toys is maybe even though you're saying no. So maybe try saying maybe, write down the name of the thing she wants and then she'll know you're taking her seriously at least. I just went through the toy store yesterday and my toddler wanted everything, but the stuff he was really interested in I said "Put it down and let me take a picture and then we will remember you like it." And then I show him the picture and repeat "now we will remember you like it".
|
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 19:35
|
|
|
Tom Swift Jr. posted:We try to keep things simple with our little guy. I'm curious how everyone else keeps the holiday kid stuff in check. More specifically, what do you do to help your child learn to be grateful and not become entitled? My little guy is only 19 months, but he's becoming more aware so I think we need to be conscious of how we are doing things. My son is 17 months and I think the key is consistency. If you really want him to be grateful, show gratitude to him when he does something you appreciate. Living by example is probably the best course of action. Also, I'd loop in anyone who he'll be under the care of to what your priorities are. I have a niece who just cannot take any negativity and is seriously spoiled because her grandparents don't have any boundaries.
|
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 20:04
|
|
|
Thwomp posted:My son is 17 months and I think the key is consistency. If you really want him to be grateful, show gratitude to him when he does something you appreciate. Living by example is probably the best course of action. That's what we are doing. I guess my real debate is how to handle the onslaught of presents from grandparents. I'm really grateful that his grandparents get him great presents, but I don't want him to expect it or turn into one of his cousins who ask "is that all?" I don't want to deny the spoiling, but I also don't want it to spoil him, if that makes sense. Our solution is to keep things low key from our end-one main present, one handmade present, and one book. We also switched to mini stockings and have a big treat box for santa to fill for everyone. I also plan on doing other things to take the focus off of presents at holidays, but I realize that will always be a big draw for any child. I guess I was just wondering if anyone had any other good ideas. Last year (his first christmas) he had an entire giant pile of presents. Only a couple were from us... ETA-I guess what I am asking is what traditions do you have that take the focus off of presents? Tom Swift Jr. fucked around with this message at 20:17 on Nov 23, 2015 |
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 20:14
|
|
|
Tom Swift Jr. posted:ETA-I guess what I am asking is what traditions do you have that take the focus off of presents? Big rear end brunch and dinner for one. Material goods come in various ways at various times but those sausage balls and creme brulee french toast come but once a year.
|
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 20:25
|
|
|
We always say that we're swimming in toys at home (which we're actually not, thanks to this strategy!), but that we love reading together so books are always very welcome, and we think ahead about clothes she'll need, and have a list handy for holidays and birthdays for those who love shopping for little clothes (cough, grandparents, cough). That way we get things we'd otherwise have had to buy anyway, or we get books, which are genuinely a wonderful present, and our daughter isn't overwhelmed by plastic toys or clothes she'll never wear. We always emphasise that no gifts are neccessary (and that we love hand-me-downs!), but people like giving gifts to those they love, and I think refusing them that is actually more rude than making sure that they spend their time and money on something that is sure to be appreciated. And the books are stored in her own private library - the bottom two shelves in the bookcase are hers alone, and she loves browsing and reading (well, looking at pictures, she's two), and picking out books for us to read to her. As for not fostering a sense of entitlement - she's probably going to remain an only child, so I think we just have to get used to saying no a lot, and sticking to our guns. I love the idea of taking a picture and making a big deal of remembering stuff your kid likes - I saw a similar tip from another parent who kept a special notebook for writing down stuff her kids wanted, because she noticed that if she just brushed them off with a "no", they'd keep nagging and nagging, but if she took the time to look at it and write it down properly and made a big deal of it, they were satisfied and rarely brought the same thing up again, once it was all officially on record as being A Thing Kid A Wants. Edit: Haha, I totally misunderstood your question. She's just two, it's not really been a problem so far. She loves opening gifts, but is less interested in the content, and has become bizarrely polite completely of her own accord and says thank you whenever she's handed something. I think focusing on other stuff than the gifts is smart, but I guess there's only so much you can do - gifts are pretty awesome, and when you're a kid and gets drowned in them every birthday and holiday, you're bound to freak out a bit. Modelling good behaviour and repeating the importance of being grateful and respectful should make an impression after a while  Oh, and bigger kids can write thank you-notes!
Sockmuppet fucked around with this message at 20:38 on Nov 23, 2015 |
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 20:31
|
|
|
Tom Swift Jr. posted:ETA-I guess what I am asking is what traditions do you have that take the focus off of presents? What we do is shift the focus onto just a few presents. Your child is only 19 months so it's hard to reason with him but make note of any presents that really catch his attention while he's unwrapping them. Set aside four or so and have him help you open them. Meanwhile, have your SO stash away the rest to open at a later time/date. As he gets older, you can explain that on Christmas morning, after all the wrapping paper has been torn to shreds, he should "pick your four favorite presents and we'll open those. The rest we'll open later." Thwomp fucked around with this message at 20:34 on Nov 23, 2015 |
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 20:32
|
|
|
We adopt a family through a local program every year and donate to a few charities. My son is 2.5 and has kinda started understanding the concept that money buys things so we are having him assist in choosing items for the family (within guidelines) and explaining to him that not everyone has all the money they need so sometimes people help each other out. And we give him a general overview of the charities we like, why we are helping them, and let him pick one of them we donate to (within an approved set of options of course). The grandparents and extended family go nuts with 'stuff' though but thankfully they all ask for ideas so we make a list that has toys and useful stuff (zoo memberships, etc.) so we have some input into what he gets (they all ask for a list, I'm not offering it to those that don't ask) And he opens them all but we stash a lot of them away and rotate things in and out throughout the year. We also like walking around the neighborhood and looking at the decorations.
sheri fucked around with this message at 22:50 on Nov 23, 2015 |
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 20:40
|
|
|
We had a birthday party for our 2 year old on the weekend. Like others have mentioned, I too was worried about an onslaught of toys. I'm seriously grateful to have so many thoughtful and generous friends, but our house is tiny and we just don't have the room for more toys. So I wrote on the invitation/facebook event thingy something like: "Celeste has lots of toys already, so please don't feel obligated to bring a gift. Having you come along and spend the day with us is what we'd like best and it will make us very happy But if you are super keen to bring something, she's always going through art supplies and she loves books." A few friends told me at the party it was great to hear exactly what kiddo might like to get, and know that their gift was going to be enjoyed. Re: Christmas, we just give one larger gift instead of a bunch of smaller ones. We try to make the holidays about doing things together - prepping the food in the kitchen, setting up the tree, and we go to carols. I also think what Sheri has suggested is a fantastic idea and I'm going to start doing that too. bee fucked around with this message at 21:04 on Nov 23, 2015 |
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 21:00
|
|
|
greatn posted:Big rear end brunch and dinner for one. Material goods come in various ways at various times but those sausage balls and creme brulee french toast come but once a year. Oh man, Creme Brulee French Toast sounds delish. For us it's Eggs Benedict. I actively refuse to eat it any other time of year, but Christmas morning that poo poo is ON.
|
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 21:54
|
|
|
bee posted:We had a birthday party for our 2 year old on the weekend. Like others have mentioned, I too was worried about an onslaught of toys. I'm seriously grateful to have so many thoughtful and generous friends, but our house is tiny and we just don't have the room for more toys. So I wrote on the invitation/facebook event thingy something like: "Celeste has lots of toys already, so please don't feel obligated to bring a gift. Having you come along and spend the day with us is what we'd like best and it will make us very happy We wrote no gifts on our invitation, but no one actually reads the invitation. They just check time/date/location. So about 80% of the guests brought gifts.
|
|
#
?
Nov 24, 2015 01:59
|
|
|
Yeah, we still ended up with a big pile of colouring books and paints but that's ok, at least they'll definitely get used and they don't take up a lot of space
|
|
#
?
Nov 24, 2015 03:20
|
|
|
Most of our family live far away from us, and my kids are the only kids (no cousins), so I sometimes feel like I'm a massive grinch trying to set restrictions on gifts. Even if I do ask for specific things like a book or a new summer dress the present will end up containing 4 books, or 2 whole new outfits. I try to remind myself that they do it because they love and miss the kids so much, and it's a way of doing something nice for them. It's just one of those things that goes along with having family overseas. Having said that, I try to limit gifts from us (one present from Santa, one birthday present), and we really focus on manners. My 4-year old helps to write all his thank you cards and we talk about what gifts mean and why they are special and not something to expect. They've been a bit too young previously, but this year I'm going to try taking them to a toy store and getting them to choose a toy to donate to a child in need.
|
|
#
?
Nov 24, 2015 05:15
|
|
|
Well, my parents taught me to resent people for giving me presents and them for making me face appreciating getting them, hopefully I will not pass that particular lesson on to my own kid. It is going to be hard though. I hate "gifts" so much. Basically a pile of crap we're going to have to go through and pick one or two items out of before shipping the rest of the truckload off to the local thrift store donation bin. By one point I'd finally got to the blissful point where people just didn't get me things and I could actually enjoy the holidays stress free, but now that the baby is here they've realized they can go through my wife who is much more "appreciative" and get their gift-giving jollies off through her and giving the baby presents over any of my "stop buying me junk!" proclamations, so I'm imagining it's going to be a nightmare. At least she's backing me up on the birthday front so that shouldn't be as bad, but nothing can stop Christmas.
|
|
#
?
Nov 24, 2015 05:45
|
|
|
Papercut posted:We wrote no gifts on our invitation, but no one actually reads the invitation. They just check time/date/location. So about 80% of the guests brought gifts. This frustrates me to no end, but I attended a birthday party where the twins wanted no gifts, but asked that instead you bring a donation for a food bank. Their favorite food was Peanut Butter and Jelly, so if you would please bring PB or Jelly, and they had a container at the door to put it all in. Pretty good haul for the food bank, which in my mind is second to the primary goal which is that their house wasn't filled with $10 Wal-Mart crap.
|
|
#
?
Nov 24, 2015 05:50
|
|
|
We're going to be air travelling in early March with our baby who will be five months old. Any tips or words of advice to prepare ourselves mentally or fincancially? One concern that is brewing is the issue of the car seat at our destination. For some reason my wife is starting to obsess over the length of time it will take to install the seat base base in her uncle's car at airport pickup. I've tried to convince her that even if it takes 10-15 minutes, nobody is going to kick us out of the pickup area. I'm not sure how that would matter under any other circumstance, let alone a visible baby in the mix.
|
|
#
?
Nov 24, 2015 14:25
|
|
|
We're flying to my in-laws over Christmas, and we're just going to strap the removable portion of the car seat in via the seatbelt, unless that's really not recommended.
|
|
#
?
Nov 24, 2015 14:32
|
|
|
Cheesus posted:We're going to be air travelling in early March with our baby who will be five months old. Any tips or words of advice to prepare ourselves mentally or fincancially? If she's that worried just have him pay $5 to park for an hour and do it in the lot. Or just do a belt install.
|
|
#
?
Nov 24, 2015 14:35
|
|
|
Cheesus posted:We're going to be air travelling in early March with our baby who will be five months old. Any tips or words of advice to prepare ourselves mentally or fincancially? Try to time a nap right during take off. We traveled with my son when he was 6 months and a bottle during take off put him right to sleep for most of the flight. As for the seat, I've found that infant seat bases are the easiest thing to install, far more than convertible seats. Latch, Latch, strap down tight, throw your weight on it, tighten some more, lock and go.
|
|
#
?
Nov 24, 2015 15:04
|
|
|
I dunno what kinda seats you got stateside but the seats the kids here used until recently you just put in the car and used the cars own belt to attach the to the car. Easy and fast, used to do it every day and they double as carriers. The bigger ones are more involved though.
|
|
#
?
Nov 24, 2015 16:32
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 30, 2024 09:21 |
|
|
His Divine Shadow posted:I dunno what kinda seats you got stateside but the seats the kids here used until recently you just put in the car and used the cars own belt to attach the to the car. Easy and fast, used to do it every day and they double as carriers. The bigger ones are more involved though. While you can do that, using the LATCH system works better, and I'm surprised that's not an option in Europe.
|
|
#
?
Nov 24, 2015 16:36
|
|