|
Dear god, there's more than one?!
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2015 18:23
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 9, 2024 18:22 |
|
|
mycot posted:I think you might be subconsciously mixing up that story with the woman who married a roller coaster. I know I am. No those are two separate people, also different from the one who married the Eiffel tower. They're all friends though. e: all featured in the same documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xInWMRzEan8
|
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2015 21:10
|
|
|
outlier posted:* Mysterious character Enoch Root pops up, acts enigmatic and disappears again. What?
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2015 19:33
|
|
|
Not as bad as others, but Larry Correia's Monster Hunter series hits a sort of sweet spot for me. It's been a while so I'll give a quick synopsis of what I remember. The main character is this "fairly stupid" mountain of a man, like, 6'4+ with a tank-like body and whatnot, and he reminds you of this almost every other page. For some reason, I think he was trying to join the marines or something, he gets recruited to a monster hunters group and kicks all kinds of rear end. Honestly, it was okay pulp fiction, nothing really too terrible. Problem I had with it was that the main character was a Gary Stu and basically took down all monsters he faced. He also had problems with his superiors/seniors that not only did he show up, he also kicked their asses, easily. One in particular was the boyfriend of "good friend" of the woman who initially recruited him(I think). The guy is an awful intellectual who is also a coward when the going gets tough, obviously. Anyway, he fucks up badly sometime around and after the chaos has ended, pisses of the main character and gets his poo poo kicked in. I also think the MC gets the girl, but like I said, it's been a while. It's really not as bad as some of the masturbatory military stuff presented, but for some reason, it just leaves a bad taste when the main character is hyped up so much and has the personality of white bread.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 16:23
|
|
|
Postal Parcel posted:Not as bad as others, but Larry Correia's Monster Hunter series hits a sort of sweet spot for me. It's been a while so I'll give a quick synopsis of what I remember. That's thing with his books I've found. I like the concepts and world-building he's going for in the Monster Hunters and Grimnoir books, but the MC are such terrible self inserts I just can't take them. I don't recall, was he one of the rabid/sad puppies with the Hugos or was he the one that said "Keep me the gently caress out that poo poo". I know one of the authors told Vox Day and his crew to gently caress off and not lump his poo poo in with theirs. I just can't remember if it was this guy or another Baen author.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 16:31
|
|
|
Wasn't he the guy that basically started the whole Puppies thing because obviously the only reason his masterpieces weren't winning Hugos was because the awards were rigged?
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 16:36
|
|
|
Gabriel Pope posted:Wasn't he the guy that basically started the whole Puppies thing because obviously the only reason his masterpieces weren't winning Hugos was because the awards were rigged? Just googled it. Coreia and Brad Torgersen were the poo poo heads that kicked off the whole thing.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 17:02
|
|
|
ooh, this talk of terrible writers who can't deal with people not liking their books reminds me of our very own Noah Murphy.quote:Two heroes and a heroine, identified by their eccentric appearance and ID pinned to their clothes, walked up the concourse with the heroine in the lead. quote:Liza began to convulse… and transform. Her smooth curves and breasts were replaced with rock-hard muscles. Her clothes were shredded as she grew another foot in height. Her skin tanned and her hair lengthened. The seat belt snapped and the sedan dented to accommodate her massive form. quote:Author Noah Murphy sets himself up as a sort of jaded, Byronic figure in an industry he describes as poisoned and slipshod; unfortunately with zero critical or commercial success to speak of, his diatribe reads as little more than the stream-of-consciousness ramblings of a spurned, lazy amateur. One must qualify their opinion in order to make the sort of hard-hitting statement about an industry that Murphy is attempting here, and his only tenuous claims to credibility seem to be a PR fiasco surrounding the laughable "novel" Ethereal Girls and the exorbitant amounts of capital he's pissed away trying to hock his previous sub-par efforts. He also does his own (equally terrible) illustrations, and has a blog with important essays like Candy Crush Saga and the Erosion of the Middle Class.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 21:00
|
|
|
flosofl posted:Just googled it. Coreia and Brad Torgersen were the poo poo heads that kicked off the whole thing. Holy poo poo this is hilarious: quote:In 2015, nominees from the Puppy slates were in almost every category, and several categories were composed of only Puppy nominees. All nominees in the Puppy-only categories—"Best Related Work", "Best Short Story", "Best Novella", "Best Editor (Short Form)", and "Best Editor (Long Form)"—were ranked below No Award, and therefore no Hugo was given in those categories. In all other categories except "Best Dramatic Presentation, Long Form"—that is, in the categories "Best Fan Writer", "Best Fancast", "Best Fanzine", "Best Semiprozine", "Best Professional Artist", "Best Graphic Story", "Best Novelette", and "Best Novel"—all Puppy nominees were ranked below No Award; this was also the case for the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer. The only winning work to appear on a Puppy slate was the film Guardians of the Galaxy. In reaction, Correia wrote simply "See? I told you so." I can't help but wonder what he thinks this proves other than everyone refused to vote for obvious vote stuffed garbage.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 23:24
|
|
|
it's a self piteous "everyone hates meeeee" from some dumbass who should've noticed you can't poo poo on people and then expect them to wipe your rear end for you. these kinds of people who are go on about a victim nation and political correctness and self sufficient "i'm the smartest" poo poo are usually the whiniest most pathetic losers ever
|
|
#
?
Nov 21, 2015 00:53
|
|
|
I hate all that Sad / Rabid Puppy bullshit. Stupid right-wingers stinking up my nerd books. People like them took a dump on video games, what else are they going to ruin? The thing is, science fiction readers aren't averse to voting for right-wing authors, as long as the work is good. Look at Orson Scott Card and Dan Simmons. Gene Wolfe is a Catholic like John C. Wright*, and yet people like his works, because he can actually write. * John C. Wright is another Puppy author. I'd dislike him for that, but he also verbally dumped on Terry Pratchett (RIP), so gently caress him.
|
|
#
?
Nov 21, 2015 01:33
|
|
|
Also helps that Wolfe is not a complete shithead.
|
|
#
?
Nov 21, 2015 01:37
|
|
|
I found a book called <b>The Intelligence of P-1</b> in a campground library. I'm a sci-fi fan and the cover illustration is ridiculous so I read it. Unfortunately, I've loaned it to a friend so I don't have access to a picture of it. Google doesn't know about it either. The cover has a giant computer chip with nerdy looking people stuck on it, yelling. It's a painting. It's amazing. The book is from the early 80s, I believe. The book is about a coder who creates an artificial intelligence that goes crazy, and the inventor eventually uploads himself into it.
|
|
#
?
Nov 21, 2015 02:07
|
|
|
ZakAce posted:I hate all that Sad / Rabid Puppy bullshit. Stupid right-wingers stinking up my nerd books. People like them took a dump on video games, what else are they going to ruin? Orson Scott Card good?
|
|
#
?
Nov 21, 2015 02:12
|
|
|
Hogge Wild posted:Orson Scott Card good? I know we all need to hate him now because he's a colossal, cartoonish shithead, but Speaker For The Dead is pretty solid.
|
|
#
?
Nov 21, 2015 03:17
|
|
|
Hogge Wild posted:Orson Scott Card good? I presume this is Orson Scott Card before he fell completely off the crazy train. He wasn't really good even then, but at least he wasn't writing Child Abuse Turns Kids Gay Hamlet and what the gently caress ever. My boyfriend has borrowed several Correia novels from his dad (I feel like Larry Correia is a prime "book you borrow from your dad" author), and there's currently a borrowed Grimnoir Chronicles book sitting in our bathroom. My boyfriend has read enough to bitch about its plot and extremely tepid libertarian content, but I can't get more than two pages in without being completely bored. Urban fantasy worldsettings based on what amount to White Wolf splats ("look, all these wizards fit into very neat power-based niches!!") just make my eyes glazed over, and Correia's prose is highly workmanlike. By what standard does he think he deserves awards? The coveted "Congratulations, You Write More Readably Than JF Bibeau" Golden Mandlev Tower?
|
|
#
?
Nov 21, 2015 03:18
|
|
|
DavidAlltheTime posted:I found a book called <b>The Intelligence of P-1</b> in a campground library. I'm a sci-fi fan and the cover illustration is ridiculous so I read it. Unfortunately, I've loaned it to a friend so I don't have access to a picture of it. Google doesn't know about it either. The Adolescence of P-1. It had some merit because the AI literally runs on IBM mainframes, self-distributes across phone-lines & communicates via tele-types, but the main character is a really annoying know-it-all who is amazing at sex.
|
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 12:34
|
|
|
Free Market Mambo posted:Someone bringing up The Alchemist as inspirational is a cool and efficient way to know to disregard whatever comes out of their mouth. THANK YOU. I had to suffer through that turd for a "humanities" class. If that book were any farther up it's own rear end, it would have been written by Chuck Tingle. I plowed through the whole thing in a sitting because I just wanted to hurry up and get to the great moment of enlightenment that everybody goes on about, but it just never happened. The book ended and I was pissed off for having wasted my time by reading it. I'll never understand the attention this book gets.
|
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 17:26
|
|
|
Boaz MacPhereson posted:THANK YOU. On the other hand, Chuck Tingle is a great author who should be read by all    
|
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 18:48
|
|
|
Postal Parcel posted:On the other hand, Chuck Tingle is a great author who should be read by all 
|
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 19:52
|
|
|
So is Chuck Tingle's writing actually funny or is it just about the cover art?
|
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 23:24
|
|
|
goose fleet posted:So is Chuck Tingle's writing actually funny or is it just about the cover art? It's not just the cover art. It's also the Amazon summaries.
|
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 23:29
|
|
|
The sheer horror in that stegosaurus' eye... 
|
|
#
?
Nov 23, 2015 23:47
|
|
|
Postal Parcel posted:On the other hand, Chuck Tingle is a great author who should be read by all Every time I see his covers, I wonder what stock website he pulled them from, and what those models would say if they discovered these.
|
|
#
?
Nov 24, 2015 00:24
|
|
|
Zamboni_Rodeo posted:Every time I see his covers, I wonder what stock website he pulled them from, and what those models would say if they discovered these. The models probably wouldn't say a lot - I guess they'd just pound him in the rear end.
|
|
#
?
Nov 24, 2015 16:33
|
|
|
Pounded in the rear end by stock photo models coming to terms with their fear of their own latent homosexuality.
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 02:54
|
|
|
Lamprey Cannon posted:Pounded in the rear end by stock photo models coming to terms with their fear of their own latent homosexuality. I believe you mean in the butt.
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 03:11
|
|
|
Pounded in the butt by infinite recursion
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 03:19
|
|
|
Every time this thread comes up I keep meaning to post but something always distracts me. I've noticed that, while Piers Anthony has surfaced more than once, nobody has mentioned his short story collection, Anthonology. I thought it was terribly adult and interesting in middle school. One story, "Up Schist Crick," involves a corporate spy trying to find out about a new textile. He goes to this town where the factory is, and immediately gets banged by the hot babe running the diner or motel or whatever. He's shocked and horrified when she flexes her puss afterward and it ejects his jizz into a tissue. Apparently this new textile, "APFI," is a transparent, super-stretchy semi-permeable membrane (like a combination of Gore-Tex and latex) that's also nearly unbreakable. You can stretch a square of it up around your neck and tighten it somehow so it's like an invisible, nearly imperceptible supersuit. Things fall apart and he's getting evac'd out of the place but he just has to take a huge nasty poo poo while he's waiting for the chopper and of course he doesn't know how to undo the neck tightening thing to remove the suit when he realizes his mistake. Also there's a sign outside the rest stop that says "Without a Paddle." FIN. Another, ominously titled "The Barn," involves a parallel-universe explorer from Earth-Prime or whatever. The alternate he's going to investigate today apparently hasn't had any ruminants or whatever since the stone age yet they still drink milk so he's gonna get a job at a dairy to see what's up. What's apparently up is that the cows are apparently all human women with animal-level intelligence and enormous, milk-dripping mammaries. They are apparently well cared for and treated with kindness but it's still pretty gross. He goes to take one to her breeding session (after milking them with the milk machines). She's apparently pretty hot with her gigantic tits and rear end, so he decides he should gently caress her and knock her up himself (even though she's quite literally retarded). Alas, her pussy is too gaping through breeding and childbirth for either of them to feel anything so he takes her to the bull. The bull is a big, filthy, hairy dude, with a humongous donkey cock. He bends her over and pounds her violently in a couple strokes. Then he goes again because it was apparently fascinating to watch her get pleasured the way she wanted it and the protagonist gets yelled at for "sapping their best stud." He gets sent to the calf area and finds out that all the babies are put in sensory isolation tanks, have their tongues cut out, and their thumbs bandaged to their hands and that's why the cattle are so animalistic and dumb. They would grow up somewhat normal if they were given a human upbringing. Sickened, the agent leaves with a recommendation to isolate and not make contact with this alternate. This was all apparently an argument for veganism, as explained by Mr. Anthony, btw. FIN. There were another two that I remember (I don't remember the non-hosed up ones at all) but I'll post that later. electrohead has a new favorite as of 07:10 on Nov 25, 2015 |
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 07:01
|
|
|
I haven't read that, but it does remind me of this terrible cyberpunk novel I started where a woman is a corporate spy who needs to infiltrate a building. She goes into their bathrooms, then shits out a robotic cockroach that has wires going up her rear end, then it goes through the plumbing and lets her listen in on a meeting. God, what was that one? It wasn't Piers Anthony but it was somebody in his ilk.
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 07:14
|
|
|
I hope I'm not repeating content but Sixth Column or The Day After Tomorrow by Heinlein has to be the worst of his incredibly variable work. It's a military fantasy obsessed with anti-Japanese racism, and the conclusion to take away (written in 1941) is that "wouldn't the war be great if the white guys murdered every asian person in the world at the end". So, "evil asians" have taken over america, but luckily the awesome brain of the white man has created a death ray that can home in on their inferior genetic code and kill them from one hundred million miles away, but shock horror! there's only 6 white men left fighting in the world, so they create a mysterious religion, proving that they're not only more manly, they're more cunning too! The Japanese kill civilians and are honorrrabrul, the americans are literally the best in every single way, and everyone is just constantly wandering around going "gotta kill more of those slant-eyed sonsabitches". Even given that it was originally a serial published in 1941, this goes so far beyond the rest of the anti-japanese racism being toddled around the US at the time that it is really, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the worst book I own. I picked it up in a job lot of Panther pulp sci-fi at a charity shop a few years ago, and the cover is a literal yellow skull being broken apart from the inside. Hilariously, Heinlein considered that he had "toned down the racism" from the original draft written by John Campbell, a man who I have no doubt was a literal frothing racist. The only good thing about it is the reviews it engenders on the web: quote:
quote:An amazing reworking of a lesser plot by John Campbell, Jr., written on commission for $600 in 1941. And yet Heinlein forges an exciting story of 6 men who overthrow the vastly superior force of "PanAsians" using highly sophisticated science. Practically all the elements of Heinlein in his prime are here, so early in his career. And he manages to play down the racial aspects of Campbell's premise as much as possible. Definitely worth re-reading once you've read everything else by Heinlein. It was his first novel, and as far as I can tell the positive qualities that people see in it (unless you are a terrible racist) is that it's identifiably Heinlein. He does try out a lot of his later techniques and (especially) dialogue styles in the book. But it's largely all of his terrible ones. The time-skips to advance plots that jump from boring moment to boring moment, skipping over more interesting stuff, the evident self insert 100% AMAZING LIBERTARIAN SUPERMAN, the weird relationship he had with race, ending up both fairly progressive in the field and simultaneously pretty horrendously regressive and the piss-poor end. It is utter, utter, poo poo
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 16:39
|
|
|
I don't disagree with you but I have to say that despite all that, Farnham's Freehold was worse.
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 16:44
|
|
|
SurreptitiousMuffin posted:I haven't read that, but it does remind me of this terrible cyberpunk novel I started where a woman is a corporate spy who needs to infiltrate a building. She goes into their bathrooms, then shits out a robotic cockroach that has wires going up her rear end, then it goes through the plumbing and lets her listen in on a meeting. That'd be The Nano Flower by Peter F. Hamilton, who deserves a much longer post from somebody who actually remembers the details of his Night's Dawn series. At least I hope that's the book. I'd hate it if that described the start of two books.
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 17:22
|
|
|
Lemniscate Blue posted:I don't disagree with you but I have to say that despite all that, Farnham's Freehold was worse. Yes, that's the book where the self employed middle aged engineer and his family get sent forward in time to the shocking future where BLACKS ARE IN CHARGE! The black rulers of course keep slaves (which they neuter) and are cannibals. They also don't have paternal inheritance and instead pass things down from uncle to nephew. The main character's (fat, old and stupid) wife leaves him for their captor but that's okay because their college aged daughter just happened to bring a friend along when they got sent through time and she craves that old man dick. Before they get captured there's also a delightful subplot where they're talking about having to repopulate the human race (because they thought they were alone) and the daughter mentions that she would be more than happy to sex up her father. Then at the end of the book they go back in time before the big war that destroys society and there's a bit where they're pretty sure just being back there has stopped the horrible black ruled future from happening.
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 17:29
|
|
|
Snapchat A Titty posted:The Adolescence of P-1. It had some merit because the AI literally runs on IBM mainframes, self-distributes across phone-lines & communicates via tele-types, but the main character is a really annoying know-it-all who is amazing at sex. Hey, someone else knows it! And knows the title better than me. Here's the cover:  I feel like mine was enhanced by a grocery sticker right in the middle of the cover that said 'MEAT $2.00'
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 18:43
|
|
|
DavidAlltheTime posted:Hey, someone else knows it! And knows the title better than me. Here's the cover: I love how they couldn't get a cover-blurb from an actual published author. Just one who was peripherally involved with one.
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 18:46
|
|
|
flosofl posted:I love how they couldn't get a cover-blurb from an actual published author. Just one who was peripherally involved with one. And he's the co-author of a game, not even a book. This game:  "...first rate science-fiction programmer.."
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 19:00
|
|
|
DavidAlltheTime posted:And he's the co-author of a game, not even a book. Lol. That makes it even worse since it was basically a different arm of the same publishing house. They couldn't even get someone who wasn't contractually obligated to say something nice.
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 19:28
|
|
|
Racism-in-bad-fiction chat reminded me of "Save the Pearls," which got some notoriety a year or two ago when the author had a white, blonde actress in effectively blackface begging for a mate, otherwise she would be shipped to the globally-warmed surface as a laborer to die of radiation. The premise is remaining humans survive underground and have to be paired off by adulthood (and of course it's 18 or 20 for women as opposed to 25 for men); the excuse for the blackface is white people need it just to get by in society because the darkest-skinned people survived "The Heat," the vague, unexplained apocalyptic future this takes place in. Eden, the "heroine," is a titular "Pearl" which is supposed to be derogatory...but the "superior" humans are "Coals." Oh, and Eden's secretly in love with her boss who is also a were-puma/eagle/mutate. Which comes in handy when they end up in a random jungle with terribly portrayed native peoples who somehow aren't mutants from the global warming, which the author claims is the message of the book. The author even commissioned a bust of the were-hero. I'm phone-posting and can't link it but the whole series is just weird and embarrassing and racist as hell despite how naive the author comes off.
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 22:17
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 9, 2024 18:22 |
|
|
Biffmotron posted:That'd be The Nano Flower by Peter F. Hamilton, who deserves a much longer post from somebody who actually remembers the details of his Night's Dawn series. quote:Common themes in his books are sexually precocious teenagers, politics, religion, and armed conflict.
|
|
#
?
Nov 25, 2015 22:35
|
|