Anti-Food Porn Thread: Seems Saggy Not Saggy A Bit Saggy Ball - The Something Awful Forums

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The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Anti-Food Porn Thread: Seems Saggy Not Saggy A Bit Saggy Ball

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

GIANT OUIJA BOARD posted:

Would

# ? Nov 24, 2015 02:51

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# ? May 10, 2024 07:26

RareAcumen: Dec 28, 2012

Number 1 Sexy Dad posted:

have you ever had regular pork rinds?

I would like to see what the microwaveable ones look like before popping. Like, the pieces themselves. little pork boogers?

I've never tried them myself because they sound loving terrible but that's why I posted it. Why and how the hell microwavable pork rinds can exist I don't know.

# ? Nov 24, 2015 02:57

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

So burger cakes are a Malaysian thing? Awesome, I might go back next year.

# ? Nov 24, 2015 02:58

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

gleebster posted:

What's for dinner?

The Tortures of the Damned!

I would serve and eat that for Halloween dinner. :spooky:

:spooky:

# ? Nov 24, 2015 02:58

cash crab: Apr 5, 2015; all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology

RareAcumen posted:

Sooooo many hotdogs

I wish cookingforbae wasn't such easy content because I feel like we're going to exhaust it all immediately if we all use it.

THIS MADE ME REALLY MAD, THAT IS TOO MANY HOTDOGS

also, probably not, because people now just use it as a shorthand for "lovely sad food". Except on Tumblr, where it also means "fellatio".

# ? Nov 24, 2015 03:48

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

cash crab posted:

THIS MADE ME REALLY MAD, THAT IS TOO MANY HOTDOGS

also, probably not, because people now just use it as a shorthand for "lovely sad food". Except on Tumblr, where it also means "fellatio".

# ? Nov 24, 2015 03:52

GIANT OUIJA BOARD: Aug 22, 2011; 177 Years of Your Dick
All
Night
Non
Stop

The Saddest Rhino posted:

You are not deterring me :colbert:

:colbert:

# ? Nov 24, 2015 03:56

Samfucius: Sep 8, 2010; And if you gaze long enough into a nest, the nest will gaze back into you.

RareAcumen posted:

The thumbnail makes it look like there's a facehugger hiding beneath the cheddar.

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:00

Samfucius: Sep 8, 2010; And if you gaze long enough into a nest, the nest will gaze back into you.

Too long for a thread title, unfortunately.

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:01

ErIog: Jul 11, 2001

RareAcumen posted:

I've never tried them myself because they sound loving terrible but that's why I posted it. Why and how the hell microwavable pork rinds can exist I don't know.

Pork rinds are awesome. Imagine a potato chip. Now imagine it's not made out of carbohydrates. That's all it is.

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:10

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

For my sister's birthday we went to an American themed restaurant called Misty's Diner. It was awful.

I had the "trailer park trash", which was fried chicken, mashed potato, garlic bread, salad and gravy. The chicken was big, dry lumps of breast, the gravy was lumpy, pale grey, and nearly flavourless. The salad was basically just iceberg lettuce and was absolutely drowning in olive oil. The mashed potato and garlic bread were all right, but it's hard to mess those up. I also had a "Boston bloody Mary" which, as far as I can tell, is a regular bloody Mary but with too much Tabasco.

I did get some amusement from the FAQ on the menu though.

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:17

RareAcumen: Dec 28, 2012

cash crab posted:

THIS MADE ME REALLY MAD, THAT IS TOO MANY HOTDOGS

also, probably not, because people now just use it as a shorthand for "lovely sad food". Except on Tumblr, where it also means "fellatio".

Never heard of it described like that before!

ErIog posted:

Pork rinds are awesome. Imagine a potato chip. Now imagine it's not made out of carbohydrates. That's all it is.

It sure doesn't sound appetizing* though.

*To me.

And another thing I've never eaten despite being in the south

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:26

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Why do these people always say their horrific concoction is a regional staple.

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:34

Sleeveless: Dec 25, 2014; by Pragmatica

ErIog posted:

Pork rinds are awesome. Imagine a potato chip. Now imagine it's not made out of carbohydrates. That's all it is.

Pork rinds only seem to exist so that people on low-carb diets can still have lovely, greasy, salty mediums for artificial flavor powder.

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:37

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Instead of pork rinds, you guys should be going for pork floss.

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:40

Chard: Aug 24, 2010

RareAcumen posted:

Davy Jones' toilet

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:47

Minarchist: Mar 5, 2009; by WE B Bourgeois

RareAcumen posted:

All those fish bones :rip:

:rip:

Did they just hack up some fish and steam it in a tray?

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:49

Hirayuki: Mar 28, 2010

Sleeveless posted:

Pork rinds only seem to exist so that people on low-carb diets can still have lovely, greasy, salty mediums for artificial flavor powder.

My family went through the low-carb phase back when it first hit, some fifteen years or so ago now, I guess. As a snack, we would occasionally scoop smoked-salmon cream cheese with pork rinds.

It makes me grimace a little to remember that now. I suppose it's marginally better than eating entire tubs of full-fat sour cream at one sitting.

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:51

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

Pork rinds do in fact own, I never knew this until I gave them a try a few years ago. I too wonder what the microwave ones looks like?

I guess I know how to use google, so here we go, this article shows before and after pictures: http://www.avclub.com/article/taste-test-microwave-pork-rinds-24872

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:55

Gridlocked: Aug 2, 2014; MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

RareAcumen posted:

Work of AFP art.

cash crab cook and eat.

cash crab posted:

THIS MADE ME REALLY MAD, THAT IS TOO MANY HOTDOGS

also, probably not, because people now just use it as a shorthand for "lovely sad food". Except on Tumblr, where it also means "fellatio".

And #wifematerial is now for exhibitionists to post their tits; not for poorly plated crap

Gridlocked has a new favorite as of 04:58 on Nov 24, 2015

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:56

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

GIANT OUIJA BOARD posted:

You are not deterring me

its cool

____

# ? Nov 24, 2015 04:57

Chard: Aug 24, 2010

The Saddest Rhino posted:

As a Drumsticks fan this makes me incredibly nervous

# ? Nov 24, 2015 05:00

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

Chard posted:

As a Drumsticks fan this makes me incredibly nervous

# ? Nov 24, 2015 05:04

Whooping Crabs: Apr 13, 2010; Sorry for the derail but I fuckin love me some racoons

Chard posted:

As a Drumsticks fan this makes me incredibly nervous

Mmmm glass shards. Imagine biting into a delicious drumstick, but instead of ice cream its a chocolate covered incandescent lightbulb in a waffle cone...

# ? Nov 24, 2015 05:14

Chard: Aug 24, 2010

The Saddest Rhino posted:

nnnnnennnnhhhh

happy thanks~~bugs~~giving

# ? Nov 24, 2015 05:14

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

Chard posted:

nnnnnennnnhhhh

happy thanks~~bugs~~giving

I originally thought it was a tongue when I scrolled down, so, uh, at least reality is better than that?

# ? Nov 24, 2015 05:19

kinmik: Jul 17, 2011; Dog, what are you doing? Get away from there.
You don't even have thumbs.

I inadvertently ate ~~white people food~~ anti-food porn today at a potluck. Someone brought what I at first thought were lumpia except they were white (first red flag). They also had something vaguely orange-red seeping through the wrapper (second). I went to stab one with a fork to put in on my plate, but it slid off the tines (third). I bit into it and discovered it was full of chopped buffalo chicken and that whoever made it didn't seem to realize that whatever you wrap in egg roll wrappers is supposed to be fried after you loving wrap it. I didn't finish it.

There was also an aluminum tub of cream corn. Not creamed corn. It was literally canned loose corn swimming in heavy cream.

kinmik has a new favorite as of 05:44 on Nov 24, 2015

# ? Nov 24, 2015 05:42

Chard: Aug 24, 2010

kinmik posted:

I inadvertently ate ~~white people food~~ anti-food porn today at a potluck. Someone brought what I at first thought were lumpia except they were white (first red flag). They also had something vaguely orange-red seeping through the wrapper (second). I went to stab one with a fork to put in on my plate, but it slid off the tines (third). I bit into it and discovered it was full of chopped buffalo chicken and that whoever made it didn't seem to realize that whatever you wrap in egg roll wrappers is supposed to be fried after you loving wrap it. I didn't finish it.

There was also an aluminum tub of cream corn. Not creamed corn. It was literally canned loose corn swimming in heavy cream.

lol you put that inside your mouth

# ? Nov 24, 2015 05:45

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Someone shot the food!

I am assuming food snuff films count as anti food porn.

If that is not the case, then here is something more tame and probably legal.

Oh yeah, there are still pizza rules right?

# ? Nov 24, 2015 06:15

cash crab: Apr 5, 2015; all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology

RareAcumen posted:

And another thing I've never eaten despite being in the south

As long as man walks the Earth, we shall never be want for AFP. This entire post was awful, loving terrible, in a good way. :golfclap:

:golfclap:

but also

:barf:

Gridlocked posted:

Work of AFP art.

cash crab cook and eat.

And #wifematerial is now for exhibitionists to post their tits; not for poorly plated crap

a) re: Hotdog men: :smith:

:smith:

Okay. Today was day 2 of my diet, but I love hotdogs and cheese, so...

b) Yeah, I had it tagged for a while and I went back in the other day, happily prepared for some condensed cream of mushroom soup over white rice or some poo poo and BAM, hairy vagina on a girl who looks like she corrects strangers who accidentally call Link "Zelda".

# ? Nov 24, 2015 06:40

el oso: Feb 18, 2005; phew, for a minute there i lost myself

RareAcumen posted:

Of the many, many awful things in this thread this actually made me recoil.

# ? Nov 24, 2015 06:54

Chard: Aug 24, 2010

el oso posted:

Of the many, many awful things in this thread this actually made me recoil.

First time I've ever thought of tater tots as "looming"

# ? Nov 24, 2015 07:25

RareAcumen: Dec 28, 2012

kinmik posted:

I inadvertently ate ~~white people food~~ anti-food porn today at a potluck. Someone brought what I at first thought were lumpia except they were white (first red flag). They also had something vaguely orange-red seeping through the wrapper (second). I went to stab one with a fork to put in on my plate, but it slid off the tines (third). I bit into it and discovered it was full of chopped buffalo chicken and that whoever made it didn't seem to realize that whatever you wrap in egg roll wrappers is supposed to be fried after you loving wrap it. I didn't finish it.

There was also an aluminum tub of cream corn. Not creamed corn. It was literally canned loose corn swimming in heavy cream.

Me after reading this https://youtu.be/asufupBLDfg?t=33m5s My god, that's repulsive.

# ? Nov 24, 2015 07:59

Gridlocked: Aug 2, 2014; MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

cash crab posted:

a) re: Hotdog men: Okay. Today was day 2 of my diet, but I love hotdogs and cheese, so...

b) Yeah, I had it tagged for a while and I went back in the other day, happily prepared for some condensed cream of mushroom soup over white rice or some poo poo and BAM, hairy vagina on a girl who looks like she corrects strangers who accidentally call Link "Zelda".

I who control the cash crab, control the Anti Food Porniverse.

Also file b) under things no one should eat. :rimshot:

:rimshot:

# ? Nov 24, 2015 08:52

PubicMice: Feb 14, 2012; looking for information on posts

"very ~balanced~"

"This is 'Ketchup Leather', designed as a ' solution to soggy burgers'."

No pizza rules?

http://i.imgur.com/zJ6t48R.gifv

PubicMice has a new favorite as of 10:48 on Nov 24, 2015

# ? Nov 24, 2015 10:41

GIANT OUIJA BOARD: Aug 22, 2011; 177 Years of Your Dick
All
Night
Non
Stop

The Saddest Rhino posted:

its cool

____

What you think you can fuckin' scare me man?

Those are both from my favorite fast food burger place.

I don't live well :smith:

:smith:

# ? Nov 24, 2015 11:07

Pomp: Apr 3, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

lol @ posting messy rear end burgs like they don't look delicious

# ? Nov 24, 2015 11:37

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

Tiggum posted:

For my sister's birthday we went to an American themed restaurant called Misty's Diner. It was awful.

I had the "trailer park trash", which was fried chicken, mashed potato, garlic bread, salad and gravy. The chicken was big, dry lumps of breast, the gravy was lumpy, pale grey, and nearly flavourless. The salad was basically just iceberg lettuce and was absolutely drowning in olive oil. The mashed potato and garlic bread were all right, but it's hard to mess those up. I also had a "Boston bloody Mary" which, as far as I can tell, is a regular bloody Mary but with too much Tabasco.

But did you have a can of American soft drink?

Your meal sounded like this (minus the "salad", which no self-respecting trailer trash would eat even by accident; everyone knows that lettuce is for decoration):

# ? Nov 24, 2015 12:21

GOTTA STAY FAI: Mar 24, 2005; ~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~; College Slice

Pastry of the Year posted:

Sure, this looks gross as hell, but when you've drank up all your money and you miraculously find four quarters under the couch cushions, your drunk rear end can stumble down to the grocery store and pick one of these up and enjoy a hot meal before passing out :toot:

:toot:

# ? Nov 24, 2015 15:06

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# ? May 10, 2024 07:26

Deport The Irish: Nov 25, 2013

Pastry of the Year posted:

But did you have a can of American soft drink?

Your meal sounded like this (minus the "salad", which no self-respecting trailer trash would eat even by accident; everyone knows that lettuce is for decoration):

God, Banquet frozen meals are the worst poo poo. That corn side is a handful of kernels in an ocean of water and the mashed potatoes are somehow mostly air.

Like, all frozen meals are terrible and unsatisfying, but those in particular were painstakingly assembled by the world's top engineers and scientists to make edible depression.

# ? Nov 24, 2015 15:47

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Anti-Food Porn Thread: Seems Saggy Not Saggy A Bit Saggy Ball

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