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KillTylerDurden
May 15, 2004
I watched Fight Club one too many times.

VitalSigns posted:

What the hell dude, his money problems aren't the be-all and end-all of his character. I didn't post all the wonderful things about this guy because this is a thread for BWM stories. $80k in debt at 25 is bad but it's hardly the end of the world, if you think that makes him a bad person that no one should ever be with except as comedy, well maybe that says more about you than about him.


No, I'm not breaking up with my boyfriend, this isn't E/N.

He's the reason I started reading BFC a couple months ago and going through a few threads has made me confront my own not-so-great-with-money tendencies, what better time for me to make an actual real budget for once.

Naw dawg, gotta sever. In fact, the place you guys met, go and burn it down.

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SiGmA_X
May 3, 2004
SiGmA_X

VitalSigns posted:

No, but if this becomes my own bad with money story, I will continue to post for your schadenfreude.

I did just talk him out of joining this MLM Ponzi scheme that his aunt talked him into :unsmith:, but not before he paid $180 for the right to convince other people to pay $180 (plus $50/month) to sell the scam to yet other people :smith:. His aunt sounds like she sucks, and he told me he did start to get suspicious when the first few people turned him down and his aunt said "No don't tell them what it is, just say you're inviting them out for dinner and then take them to the seminar instead". Fortunately when I found this company's income disclosure that admitted 80ish% of their suckers never see a dime, and only 0.06% (yes that is six hundredths of a percent) earn above poverty wages and sent it to him, that convinced him.
Sever.

NancyPants posted:

Yeah he's super BWM but uhh you described this person as your boyfriend...who you are trashing on the internet. Either you like the dude('s dick) enough to look past it for awhile, or you are just hanging around him to get more material at this point.

You get zero points for posting about him. I love a good BWM story as much as the next person but you're doing a lovely thing and I hope when he finds your posts about him, he has enough of a spine to tell you to get hosed.
Yep. Maybe the plan is to force him to sever?

Devian666
Aug 20, 2008

Take some advice Chris.

Fun Shoe
I know plenty of artists who've gone done the same path. It's not great for the finances but after 5-10 years they start dealing with the debts properly and get an income. It's just everyone I knew that did that didn't have 6% student loans and consumer debt going to collections.

BonerGhost
Mar 9, 2007

VitalSigns posted:

What the hell dude, his money problems aren't the be-all and end-all of his character. I didn't post all the wonderful things about this guy because this is a thread for BWM stories. $80k in debt at 25 is bad but it's hardly the end of the world, if you think that makes him a bad person that no one should ever be with except as comedy, well maybe that says more about you than about him.


No, I'm not breaking up with my boyfriend, this isn't E/N.

He's the reason I started reading BFC a couple months ago and going through a few threads has made me confront my own not-so-great-with-money tendencies, what better time for me to make an actual real budget for once.

No, you what the hell, dude. Don't know how you got the impression I think he's a bad person for being so in debt; I think you are acting like a bad person for posting with such thinly veiled disdain about someone you ostensibly care about. I assumed he has good qualities and that would be why you go out with the dude. I don't know what yours are, exactly, but w/e maybe he doesn't have good self-esteem. All I said was he's hella BWM which is objectively true (as you so stated).

You haven't said anything funny about the guy, so at this point your posts about him are basically "MY BOYFRIEND bwm :psyduck:", and any small amount of humor that might have been gleaned from them is wiped out by how gross it is that you think the dude is dumb and feel the need to tell a bunch of nerds on the internet about it. w/e maybe you don't have good self-esteem, I dunno. Any person with a spine who saw the way you talk about him would dump your rear end on the spot.

If you want, like, perspective on life, no it is not evil or mercenary to split with someone on drastically different page from you. Relationships aren't just about how much you like each other, but how well you can function productively as a unit, and adults often find people they click with and love very much but can't be with because poo poo just don't work. Your posts read like you might be looking for validation or support of your feelings, but maybe I am just reading too far into them. Maybe you are just a nasty person.

But you are right, this ISN'T e/n. I can tell you if you keep posting about your fuckpiece, you're going to hear a lot more "SEVER".

e: for the record I assume you are a moneyed gay man in your early to mid-thirties.

BonerGhost fucked around with this message at 20:27 on Nov 27, 2015

DrSunshine
Mar 23, 2009

Did I just say that out loud~~?!!!
Serioustalk -- It's a fact that financial problems are the main cause of friction in relationships. It may not be such a big deal right now, but that kind of thing is what ends relationships and marriages.

Golluk
Oct 22, 2008

VitalSigns posted:

....
He's 25 and his shiny new degree is in fine arts
...

It was sad before that, but that part made me laugh. There is some hope for him if he can be convinced to actually look at his credit reports, and fairly easily be talked out of MLM.

I recommend getting familiar with the "Dealing with collections company" thread seeing as he has a sizable amount already in collections.

BonerGhost
Mar 9, 2007

DrSunshine posted:

Serioustalk -- It's a fact that financial problems are the main cause of friction in relationships. It may not be such a big deal right now, but that kind of thing is what ends relationships and marriages.

It's like anything that can be a source of friction, whether it's in-laws you don't get along with, different cultures, ideas about children, different religions, etc. People don't want to think about things they'll have to deal with in daily life, because they just figure love will make it all work out, and then a few years later they're divorced and citing irreconcilable differences.

More people need to nut up and be honest about what they really want but that's just my two cents.

KillTylerDurden
May 15, 2004
I watched Fight Club one too many times.
:sever:

Just found out I do not have financial aid (self.personalfinance)

submitted 2 hours ago by Tanfrost

I just found out today that I do not have financial aid because my parents never submitted our tax returns. I have a balance of $12000 to pay for this semester (im a freshman) and I only have until December 10th to pay or else my grades will be suspended and I may be removed from my school. Im trying to handle the financial aid but Im likely not gonna get as much as I should've at the beginning of the year. We can not pay that much that quickly. On top of the I keep being denied from student loans as well as my parents have bad credit scores. Is there anything I can do?

VitalSigns
Sep 3, 2011

NancyPants posted:

w/e maybe he doesn't have good self-esteem.
...
how gross it is that you think the dude is dumb
...
w/e maybe you don't have good self-esteem, I dunno.
...
Maybe you are just a nasty person.
...
your fuckpiece

:yikes:Um..wow
Well...thanks for the pieces of genuine life advice buried in all...that, I appreciated those few parts. I don't have disdain for my boyfriend, plenty of smart talented sweet wonderful people can be dumb sometimes and do dumb things, that doesn't make them dumb people. I'm not going to dump someone for making bad decisions from 18-25, all I can do about the past is laugh about it and try my best to help the future be different. If nothing changes from 26 on, then I'll give some thought to whether we're compatible.

Golluk posted:

It was sad before that, but that part made me laugh. There is some hope for him if he can be convinced to actually look at his credit reports, and fairly easily be talked out of MLM.

Well that's how I know his exact figures now, because he did pull the credit report. It took some encouragement and reassurance because he was so scared of the future, but now that he has the numbers he's able to treat it objectively and he's going to consult an attorney to see about discharging the consumer debt if possible and get advice working out a payment plan with the private loans in collections so they don't go after his family. Now that he's handling it, I can chuckle about my artist boyfriend who bought costumes instead of paying on his car and took out a pile of loans without even keeping the paperwork because he didn't want to look at the figures, because I think he's turning the corner
:unsmith:

I don't fault him at all for the MLM, he felt trapped and worried, and here comes a trusted relative telling him how much money she makes and that it can solve his problems and he knows nothing about MLM or pyramid schemes (gently caress his aunt though, I don't believe for a second she was telling the truth), when I sent him the company's figures he was pretty surprised at their abysmal results and it was easy to talk him out of it without making him feel bad. So he paid $180 that should have gone to his debts, but whatever overall a cheap lesson I guess. Now that it's over and no harm done it's pretty funny because hooooooly poo poo it was such a scam. He had to recruit six other people before he could even stop paying them a monthly fee, and their whole seminar was about how earning mad money is all up to you and how hard you work. It's all up to you! Mathematically, 6 out of 7 people who take the job are hosed right out the gate

Whatever when I was 21 I almost got taken in by Vector.

Golluk posted:

I recommend getting familiar with the "Dealing with collections company" thread seeing as he has a sizable amount already in collections.

The problem is that's not going to help him. The consumer debts he has in collections are small, federal student loans have their own built-in relief with IBR, and the private student loan collectors don't have to dick around with the broke artist when they can go after his not-quite-as-broke family's few assets :smith:

I don't see any way around those except working out a payment plan with the private loan people and then helping him get a paycheck ahead so he can pay the loans first before buying his art stuff..

VitalSigns fucked around with this message at 00:51 on Nov 28, 2015

Cockmaster
Feb 24, 2002

NancyPants posted:

It's like anything that can be a source of friction, whether it's in-laws you don't get along with, different cultures, ideas about children, different religions, etc. People don't want to think about things they'll have to deal with in daily life, because they just figure love will make it all work out, and then a few years later they're divorced and citing irreconcilable differences.

Financial problems are unique in that asking about a potential mate's financial philosophy or situation is, in many cultures, strongly frowned upon. So knowing what you're getting into can be pretty tricky.

As I understand, taboos against talking about money were originally intended to discourage blatantly bragging about one's wealth. Perhaps they ought to be strictly limited to that.


quote:

More people need to nut up and be honest about what they really want but that's just my two cents.

More people need to nut up and accept that "love will make it all work out" is a big old steaming pile of fairy tale bullshit.


VitalSigns posted:

He had to recruit six other people before he could even stop paying them a monthly fee...

That has got to be one of the sleaziest things I've heard of from the MLM field.

And how is that even legal? With something like that, it'd be pretty hard to defend their business as not-a-pyramid-scheme. I remember hearing about Amway (and possibly others) getting in legal trouble for making too much of their income off of their recruits (relative to their actual products).

VitalSigns
Sep 3, 2011

Cockmaster posted:

That has got to be one of the sleaziest things I've heard of from the MLM field.

And how is that even legal? With something like that, it'd be pretty hard to defend their business as not-a-pyramid-scheme. I remember hearing about Amway (and possibly others) getting in legal trouble for making too much of their income off of their recruits (relative to their actual products).

It's been banned in a few countries as a pyramid scheme, like Norway, for exactly the reason you cite (too much money from recruits) but they apparently manage to stay just on this side of the law in :911: or at least no one shut them down here yet.

Their story is that they're a discount club so you join to get the discounts, and they waive your club membership fees if you get six people to join. You can theoretically join for just the discounts but of course they're crap so no one does, they all pay extra for the sales license to recruit other people. . Anyway I guess they argue that the dues are for their "product" and not just being collected, Norway didn't buy that though.

John Smith
Feb 26, 2015

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

VitalSigns posted:

It's not all his fault, his family is all broke and he had a poo poo childhood, they never taught him anything about money management and it shows.

It is completely his fault for the poor manner he is currently handling the situation. He is a grown man, not a child (nor 18 anymore).

And lol at his degree in fine arts, as if he is some trust fund baby that is entitled to enjoy the good life. You can't seriously expect me to believe that he isn't aware of the extremely poor economic prospects for artists / fine arts graduates.

VitalSigns posted:

What the hell dude, his money problems aren't the be-all and end-all of his character.

His current *attitude* demonstrates a lack of moral character and fundamental responsibility.

John Smith fucked around with this message at 07:49 on Nov 28, 2015

Moneyball
Jul 11, 2005

It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.
I wanted to read the entire thread before contributing, but that is a daunting task.

I have two contributions, and the first one is my immediate family, including me somewhat, and my now deceased grandmother.

Grandmother is an easy one- ripped off a lot by fly by night contractors, and even worse, spent a ton on magazine subscriptions all the time as part of that Publisher's Clearing House scam from the 80s (70s? 90s?)

My parents basically live paycheck to paycheck by choice. My mother smokes a pack a day and got my father into the habit (smokes less though), they eat fast food all the time, buy groceries that go to waste, and basically just raise their spending level to whatever they make. I talked them into renting out a room to my friend for $500 a month and I imagine they just spend more. My father has a little put away each paycheck into his 401k but I imagine it's not very much. At least they inherited a mortgage-free house. I'm going to have to assist them in retirement, most likely, especially because...

My sister, who is hopeless. She's always been sneaky and selfish, whether it's stealing from my parents as a teen, or getting people to get her car out of impound and never paying them back. Now, at age 34. Get a job/work more hours to afford it herself? No, that cuts into rehearsal time for unpaid community theater! She uses some people until they get tired of her, moves on to the next, and then burns the previous people when she regains their trust. She's not an addict, and she does have two daughters to support by herself, but working hard and smart has never been her thing. I'm worried what habits my nieces are picking up, but it's none of my business.

Can't judge them without judging myself. As recently as 2011, I had no credit card, auto, or student loan debt, a car, and about $4,000 in retirement savings. A net worth of that $4,000. Four years later, my net worth is ($25,000) and I only spent maybe six months of that time unemployed. The rest of it was full time, 40+ hours. I do have a viable college degree and a half paid off 2014 economy car to show for it, but I'm pissed I wasted all that money. I'm on the right track, though, and should be positive by 2017, even better in 2018.


Second one is about a pair of brothers I'm friends with. Some of this has nothing to do with BFC and is more E/N, but I'll include it because of how incredibly frustrating it is to be a bystander.
I was friends with their older brother who was in my grade in elementary school. They are a bit younger. He was killed in Afghanistan several years ago, and I started hanging out with them more. They're both good guys, but absolutely hopeless.

The older one is approaching 30, has worked part time at the same company for ten years, never getting full time, never getting another job. He doesn't have a license and relies on his retired mother or brother to drive him five days a week. It's a half hour away. He smokes a lot of weed and I see him post his purchases on facebook: Alienware laptop, Beats headphones, and a ton of figurines from Newbury Comics. He'll buy entire sets. Even his brother realizes he has a spending problem.

Younger one is 26 and more frustrating to me, but because I'm closer to him. He drives, but his mother takes care of insurance, car repairs, gives him gas money, etc. Keeps rage quitting or getting fired from delivery jobs, or other mcjobs. Usually broke mid-week. His mother paid for college classes, and would pay for more, but he just drops them all mid-semester, because he can't deal with even one class while working just part-time. Buys a lot of weed, alcohol, video games, and drops $50 every UFC fight night. Whatever, spend however makes you happiest. Now for the frustrating part, I get to hear him complain about life all the time though he won't listen to any advice. Being broke, living at home, not being able to find a "hot chick," (which is apparently his only criteria). Well when all you have to talk about is weed, drinking, video games, metal, and mma, no wonder. I'm not exaggerating- try to steer the conversation away from one of those things, and it will go right back.
I end up having to just take a break for a while. His justification is he's depressed about his brother and that's why he is unable to do anything productive, but I think it's all an excuse to be lazy.

I realize I'm a judgmental prick- I think I'm just mad at myself and judge other people who aren't doing what I'm doing now, but this is the Bad With Money thread. At least their mother has a good amount of money they will inherit, but I don't think it's nearly as much as they imagine it to be.

Dik Hz
Feb 22, 2004

Fun with Science

Moneyball posted:

I realize I'm a judgmental prick- I think I'm just mad at myself and judge other people who aren't doing what I'm doing now, but this is the Bad With Money thread. At least their mother has a good amount of money they will inherit, but I don't think it's nearly as much as they imagine it to be.
You're in your 30s. You can fade out on the worthless deadbeats and pick your own friends.

Krispy Wafer
Jul 26, 2002

I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat

Grimey Drawer
On the subject of lovely siblings and their money problems, my dumbass brother bought a charming 90 year old house in a terrible part of town in part because of city tax credits to get people into terrible parts of town. But that's not the BWM part. The BWM part is the $11k it just cost his inlaws to repair their sewer line after the 80 year old tree in the front yard wrapped its roots around it. They had to dig up the driveway to get to the pipe. They've been living there less than 6 months.

I guess I'm just happy my mom wasn't on the hook for the bill this time.

Not a Children
Oct 9, 2012

Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

That is the exact reason that the prospect of buying a house terrifies me. Building equity doesn't seem as appealing when you have to shell out for unexpected disasters like that.

silvergoose
Mar 18, 2006

IT IS SAID THE TEARS OF THE BWEENIX CAN HEAL ALL WOUNDS




Not a Children posted:

That is the exact reason that the prospect of buying a house terrifies me. Building equity doesn't seem as appealing when you have to shell out for unexpected disasters like that.

Building equity is not the reason to buy a house, though.

Krispy Wafer
Jul 26, 2002

I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat

Grimey Drawer

Not a Children posted:

That is the exact reason that the prospect of buying a house terrifies me. Building equity doesn't seem as appealing when you have to shell out for unexpected disasters like that.

You're always going to have unexpected disasters and expenses. We just spent $4200 on carpet. I've got to spend another $3k on a new air conditioner next year. But gently caress me, buying a 90 year house with ceramic pipes and a huge tree in the front yard is just asking for trouble.

It just annoys me because he is a 35 man child whose been strutting around like he's some big shot after buying a house he has absolutely no ability to maintain.

VitalSigns
Sep 3, 2011

John Smith posted:

His current *attitude* demonstrates a lack of moral character and fundamental responsibility.

Moral character? Please :jerkbag:. Financial companies default on obligations whenever it's in their self-interest to do so. Moralizing about debt and honor is just a way of guilting people into slavery to bail out a bank for taking a bad risk. Banks get compensated for their risk, that's why you pay them interest, the credit card company can make back their money on the 20% APR they're charging everyone else. I expect professionals whose whole career is evaluating risks to be better at it than joe-blow consumer.

This guy hasn't swindled anyone, managing money is a skill like anything else and being bad at it isn't immoral. And it's a skill he was obviously never taught since his family (1) co-signed on some $30k of loans for a fine arts degree without any way to pay it back should he default and then (2) didn't keep track of any paperwork or the status of the loans and just let them slide into collections (grown adults putting themselves on the hook for tens of thousands and not even following up
:psyduck:

Speaking of loans: content! My friend, let's call him Henry since there are multiple stories about him. He's the type that falls rear end backwards into money and blows it all on getting laid and gambling. Like he followed a stock tip from a warrant officer in our unit and made twenty grand. Anyway, he kept moving colleges, sometimes withdrawing in the middle of a semester, whatever. So right when I graduate he calls me and asks to co-sign on a $20,000 student loan. gently caress that, but fortunately I had an excuse at the time, I was about to start my new job as soon as I moved to a new city but my car had been stolen and stripped so I was flat broke, about to start paying student loans, and I needed to qualify for a car loan. So I told him I couldn't put anything on my credit report while I was trying to get a car. A few months later we were hanging out, someone suggested going out to lunch and Henry says "I can't I have no money." "What, just a few weeks ago you were throwing money around?" "Yeah but I went to Vegas last weekend and lost too much." "How much?" "I don't want to talk about it." "What like $5,000?" "No it was $20,000 okay?"
:negative:

So he tells us the story: that $20k student loan was because he and some friends wanted to open a bar and he was going to contribute cash, but the financing from the bank fell through. No problem, he was just going to give the student loan money back. Except...he has all this money...and he's good at Hold 'Em, he could go to Vegas and make a bunch of winnings and then give back the $20k seed money. He goes, he's up several thousand playing Hold 'Em, and he's about to leave and cash out job well done. And the casino manager comes up, and says hey you want to be our VIP you seem like a real pro and she gives him a fully comp'd luxury suite, unlimited food and drink from the restaurant, concierge the works. So he stays and it's awesome, and keeps gambling, and his luck turns, he changes his flights so he can stay longer and get back to even..........and after a week or so he's gambled away every single dollar with nothing to his name but his plane tickets. Sitting in the airport he thinks "drat should have had that free breakfast" because he doesn't have a dollar in his pocket to get airport food. So that's what he did with the loan money which he'd wanted me to co-sign.

Moneyball
Jul 11, 2005

It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.

silvergoose posted:

Building equity is not the reason to buy a house, though.


Is this BWM, or is it wishful thinking? The plan for the future is to buy property specifically to eventually** make an extra income from it. I'm within five years or so from being able to buy a place myself, likely sooner once my income jumps. (Will be a CPA with some programming skills) I'd like to start with a duplex, and keep that when I buy the next one.

I don't know if I'll stay in this part of the country forever, but I'll always consider it my home, so I wouldn't mind owning a few properties over time. As I mentioned in my previous post, I'll likely need to help my parents in retirement, so if I do leave and hold on to rentals here, I thought maybe my old man would look after them in exchange for what I'd pay a property management company.

Hm... rearrange BWM and you get BMW.

A friend of mine bought a 1993 E28 for I think $3,500 or $4,000. Borrowed from family, of course. It was owned by an old lawyer and barely used the entire time, so its mileage was low and it was in good shape. But since then, every couple months, he's been pouring hundreds or more because something broke, or he wants to make it nicer. He's got the right idea by going used, but picked the wrong car. His previous car was a four year old Evo, financed with sky high payments. Got laid off and had to sell it. I think he learned his lesson, because it's going to be a while before he finances another car.

He has room to be a lot worse with money, but clearly his vice is cars.

Not a Children
Oct 9, 2012

Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

VitalSigns posted:

So right when I graduate he calls me and asks to co-sign on a $20,000 student loan. gently caress that, but fortunately I had an excuse at the time, I was about to start my new job as soon as I moved to a new city but my car had been stolen and stripped so I was flat broke, about to start paying student loans, and I needed to qualify for a car loan. So I told him I couldn't put anything on my credit report while I was trying to get a car.

I find it kinda weird that you felt the need to provide an excuse for not cosigning on your dipshit friend's loan.

fisting by many
Dec 25, 2009



VitalSigns posted:

So he tells us the story: that $20k student loan was because he and some friends wanted to open a bar and he was going to contribute cash, but the financing from the bank fell through. No problem, he was just going to give the student loan money back. Except...he has all this money...and he's good at Hold 'Em, he could go to Vegas and make a bunch of winnings and then give back the $20k seed money. He goes, he's up several thousand playing Hold 'Em, and he's about to leave and cash out job well done. And the casino manager comes up, and says hey you want to be our VIP you seem like a real pro and she gives him a fully comp'd luxury suite, unlimited food and drink from the restaurant, concierge the works. So he stays and it's awesome, and keeps gambling, and his luck turns, he changes his flights so he can stay longer and get back to even..........and after a week or so he's gambled away every single dollar with nothing to his name but his plane tickets. Sitting in the airport he thinks "drat should have had that free breakfast" because he doesn't have a dollar in his pocket to get airport food. So that's what he did with the loan money which he'd wanted me to co-sign.

Either he was playing "Ultimate Texas Hold'Em" (as in the pit game) (like blackjack with worse odds) or he made up that story because the truth about how he blew the money is even more embarrassing.

You don't get hotel rooms much less luxury suites for playing poker against other people. The casino hardly makes any money off that.

VitalSigns
Sep 3, 2011

fisting by many posted:

You don't get hotel rooms much less luxury suites for playing poker against other people. The casino hardly makes any money off that.

He lost it all on craps after that so I assume the casino had some rules about tables and minimums and stuff to get all the sweet VIP digs. Maybe he was exaggerating his winnings in poker, but I am entirely ready to believe the casino has a lady whose job it is to find people who brought a lot of money and get them to stay as long as it takes for the house advantage to come out on top in the law of averages. But I don't know anything about how casinos work: I hate gambling so if I'm dragged to the casino I bet the minimums on blackjack and order free drinks because at least blackjack is a kinda entertaining way to lose money and I like alcohol.

SiGmA_X
May 3, 2004
SiGmA_X

Moneyball posted:

Hm... rearrange BWM and you get BMW.

A friend of mine bought a 1993 E28 for I think $3,500 or $4,000. Borrowed from family, of course. It was owned by an old lawyer and barely used the entire time, so its mileage was low and it was in good shape. But since then, every couple months, he's been pouring hundreds or more because something broke, or he wants to make it nicer. He's got the right idea by going used, but picked the wrong car. His previous car was a four year old Evo, financed with sky high payments. Got laid off and had to sell it. I think he learned his lesson, because it's going to be a while before he finances another car.

He has room to be a lot worse with money, but clearly his vice is cars.
E28 is the mid 80's 5er. Do you mean e34 or e36?

fisting by many
Dec 25, 2009



VitalSigns posted:

He lost it all on craps after that so I assume the casino had some rules about tables and minimums and stuff to get all the sweet VIP digs. Maybe he was exaggerating his winnings in poker, but I am entirely ready to believe the casino has a lady whose job it is to find people who brought a lot of money and get them to stay as long as it takes for the house advantage to come out on top in the law of averages.

He would not have attracted any attention whatsoever walking into the Bellagio and sitting at a 10/20 NL table and nobody would have cared if he was up 10k.

Maybe if he got up, walked over to a blackjack table with thousands of chips, and then showed everyone the roll of 100s he had in his pocket, he might catch a manager's attention. Which sounds like something that fellow might do.

Typically comps are strictly calculated -- the casino knows what its edge is, they look at how much you're betting and how long you've been playing, figure how much they expect you to lose and give you a sliver of that back in hotel rooms and buffets.

quote:

But I don't know anything about how casinos work: I hate gambling so if I'm dragged to the casino I bet the minimums on blackjack and order free drinks because at least blackjack is a kinda entertaining way to lose money and I like alcohol.

You're doing it right.

Moneyball
Jul 11, 2005

It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.

This, I think. Can't keep that poo poo straight.

-deleted car picture- forgot to blur the plate number-

Parks about in line with what you'd expect from a BMW owner. He's a good guy, though. Not going to poo poo all over him.


More content: Does it make me a lovely person to steer clear of committing to people with terrible financial habits? I've been reading stories like VitalSigns' boyfriend, and from page 87~ of this thread, that r/personalfinance story about the girl who finally got her boyfriend to show her his horrifying finances. There's no way I could do it.

The past few years, I've been running in to that. One girl had not one, but two degrees from University of Phoenix and $77k of debt she can't afford to pay. Another with 2 kids (no judgments there) but no education that spends a lot on Fingerhut, with a cigarette and Dunks addiction. Took two trips to Disney in the past five years.
Still another with 94k debt she can't afford, head in the sand mentality. (though that one dumped me!) I'm sensing a pattern.

Now I'm taking away all the positives about them and just focusing on the red flags, but I've done enough damage to my own finances. I don't know if I can fix someone else's. Now I'm lucky enough to have met someone great, who also happens to have a promising future and similar goals, so clearly this won't last.

Moneyball fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Nov 28, 2015

Tea.EarlGrey.Hot.
Mar 3, 2007

"I'd like to get my hands on that fellow Earl Grey and tell him a thing or two about tea leaves."

Moneyball posted:

This, I think. Can't keep that poo poo straight.

-deleted car picture- forgot to blur the plate number-

Parks about in line with what you'd expect from a BMW owner. He's a good guy, though. Not going to poo poo all over him.


More content: Does it make me a lovely person to steer clear of committing to people with terrible financial habits? I've been reading stories like VitalSigns' boyfriend, and from page 87~ of this thread, that r/personalfinance story about the girl who finally got her boyfriend to show her his horrifying finances. There's no way I could do it.

The past few years, I've been running in to that. One girl had not one, but two degrees from University of Phoenix and $77k of debt she can't afford to pay. Another with 2 kids (no judgments there) but no education that spends a lot on Fingerhut, with a cigarette and Dunks addiction. Took two trips to Disney in the past five years.
Still another with 94k debt she can't afford, head in the sand mentality. (though that one dumped me!) I'm sensing a pattern.

Now I'm taking away all the positives about them and just focusing on the red flags, but I've done enough damage to my own finances. I don't know if I can fix someone else's. Now I'm lucky enough to have met someone great, who also happens to have a promising future and similar goals, so clearly this won't last.

I think you have to draw your line in the sand based on what you're comfortable with. I imagine it will be different with every person. I honestly think if you really like someone you could try giving them some finance 101 and see how they take to it. I'm not perfect myself but I don't see the point of potentially loving myself over because someone can't control their spending.

Pompous Rhombus
Mar 11, 2007

Moneyball posted:

Another with 2 kids (no judgments there) but no education that spends a lot on Fingerhut, with a cigarette and Dunks addiction. Took two trips to Disney in the past five years.

The "kids" and "trips to Disney" thing are probably related, just saying...

Not a Children
Oct 9, 2012

Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Everyone's got their own standards, don't feel bad because your preferences might be seen as materialistic or whatever. Spending habits tend to be a good indicator of maturity and impulse control, and it's perfectly okay to write off someone who has a 5 figure liability if you see that as a serious flaw. It's no worse than any other reason to reject someone.

BonerGhost
Mar 9, 2007

Not a Children posted:

Everyone's got their own standards, don't feel bad because your preferences might be seen as materialistic or whatever. Spending habits tend to be a good indicator of maturity and impulse control, and it's perfectly okay to write off someone who has a 5 figure liability if you see that as a serious flaw. It's no worse than any other reason to reject someone.

"I don't want this person to gently caress us both over with debt/gambling/falling prey to finance scams" isn't really materialistic.

SiGmA_X
May 3, 2004
SiGmA_X

Tea.EarlGrey.Hot. posted:

I think you have to draw your line in the sand based on what you're comfortable with. I imagine it will be different with every person. I honestly think if you really like someone you could try giving them some finance 101 and see how they take to it. I'm not perfect myself but I don't see the point of potentially loving myself over because someone can't control their spending.
This is how I feel about it. I've dated excellent with money, decent with money, and bad with money (but okay over all due to parents constantly feeding them money)... I prefer good with money partners.

Krispy Wafer
Jul 26, 2002

I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat

Grimey Drawer
Picking your mate based on their financial stability has been a thing since agriculture. 2,000 years ago they'd been Bad with Maize though.

I married a woman who still had $5k in debt from the ex-boyfriend's car she co-signed for and whose given her BWM family at least $25k over the last 15 years. And unfortunately not in multiple easy to swallow installments. Sometimes you just have to roll with it and be happy you're the one loaning the money rather than the other way around.

Dangit Ronpaul
May 12, 2009
Fighting about money is one of the prime causes of relationship issues so picking somebody who's on the same page as you in terms of financial habits is good with life as well as GWM.

VitalSigns
Sep 3, 2011

fisting by many posted:

He would not have attracted any attention whatsoever walking into the Bellagio and sitting at a 10/20 NL table and nobody would have cared if he was up 10k.

Maybe if he got up, walked over to a blackjack table with thousands of chips, and then showed everyone the roll of 100s he had in his pocket, he might catch a manager's attention. Which sounds like something that fellow might do.

Typically comps are strictly calculated -- the casino knows what its edge is, they look at how much you're betting and how long you've been playing, figure how much they expect you to lose and give you a sliver of that back in hotel rooms and buffets.

This guy flashes cash when it will help him get laid so yeah I'm sure that's why he was noticed. I mean not that he needs to, he's absurdly good with women even when he's broke, but I guess it helps sometimes.

His first Vegas trip he sold me his 42" LCD TV to help pay for it. He was moving in with someone who had a better TV so he called me up and said he wanted to sell his almost-new one for like a hundred bucks off and take this girl to Vegas to gently caress her. It worked, he got laid and I still have that TV seven years later.

Oh poo poo did I enable his gambling problem? :ohdear: He would have sold it to someone, and that was his first trip so it was before he started dropping the insane numbers.

John Smith
Feb 26, 2015

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

VitalSigns posted:

Moral character? Please :jerkbag:. Financial companies default on obligations whenever it's in their self-interest to do so. Moralizing about debt and honor is just a way of guilting people into slavery to bail out a bank for taking a bad risk. Banks get compensated for their risk, that's why you pay them interest, the credit card company can make back their money on the 20% APR they're charging everyone else. I expect professionals whose whole career is evaluating risks to be better at it than joe-blow consumer.

This guy hasn't swindled anyone, managing money is a skill like anything else and being bad at it isn't immoral. And it's a skill he was obviously never taught

He cannot strategic default on his student loans, so that is entirely beside the question. His attitude speaks to a lack of moral character because he refuses to deal with his issues and instead indulges himself in evasion (and his fine arts degree). In addition, I presume (may be wrong) that he shares your implicit attitude where he does not entirely blame himself for his own failings.

Exactly. Managing money is a skill, which is and can be learned. Being bad at a critical life skill and refusing to do anything about it *is* immoral, particularly when you are implicitly blaming society for your own lacking. He has been a grown man for a long time, blaming his family is ridiculous.

CannonFodder
Jan 26, 2001

Passion’s Wrench

Pompous Rhombus posted:

The "kids" and "trips to Disney" thing are probably related, just saying...

Related but not necessary. If funds are tight don't go to Disney. The kids can get Disney stuff without a week long trip.

People living in southern California or Florida can do a day trip, but for the rest of the country it is a luxury.

Devian666
Aug 20, 2008

Take some advice Chris.

Fun Shoe

John Smith posted:

He cannot strategic default on his student loans, so that is entirely beside the question. His attitude speaks to a lack of moral character because he refuses to deal with his issues and instead indulges himself in evasion (and his fine arts degree). In addition, I presume (may be wrong) that he shares your implicit attitude where he does not entirely blame himself for his own failings.

Exactly. Managing money is a skill, which is and can be learned. Being bad at a critical life skill and refusing to do anything about it *is* immoral, particularly when you are implicitly blaming society for your own lacking. He has been a grown man for a long time, blaming his family is ridiculous.

Looks like some serious just world fallacy going on here. In addition being brought up poor does actually change the way people think. The effect on their decisions is all short term thinking, rather than having a long tern view. It doesn't lead to the best financial decisions.

When society, family and teachers say you need a degree to get anywhere in life and it leads to someone studying fine arts with no connections or potential network of buyers to make money then the person has been failed by others. In fact you can question the morals of the person or department that made the decision to approve his student loans.

Student loans are still bad with money, and bad for economic growth in New Zealand even though the interest rate is 0%.
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/wairarapa-times-age/news/article.cfm?c_id=1503414&objectid=11552435

Why are people even getting degrees when they end up in low paying low skill jobs?

Beerdeer
Apr 25, 2006

Frank Herbert's Dude
At what point is bankruptcy GWM?

Subjunctive
Sep 12, 2006

✨sparkle and shine✨

Because the decision to enter college is made by literal children with hopeful views of their future informed by the portrayal of post-secondary education from parents and media.

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Devian666
Aug 20, 2008

Take some advice Chris.

Fun Shoe

Subjunctive posted:

Because the decision to enter college is made by literal children with hopeful views of their future informed by the portrayal of post-secondary education from parents and media.

This.

Most have no financial literacy and have no idea going in how bad the loans will be. Especially the size of the loans if you aren't frugal and don't live in poverty while studying.

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