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I keep a bottle mouth wash filled with jack daniels in my desk drawer at work
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Dec 4, 2015 18:22
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| # ? May 31, 2024 06:53 |
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Who should I thank? My so-called ``colleagues,'' who laugh at me behind my back, all the while becoming famous on my work? My worthless graduate students, whose computer skills appear to be limited to downloading bitmaps off of netnews? My parents, who are still waiting for me to quit ``fooling around with computers,'' go to med school, and become a radiologist? My department chairman, a manager who gives one new insight into and sympathy for disgruntled postal workers? My God, no one could blame me -- no one! -- if I went off the edge and just lost it completely one day. I couldn't get through the day as it is without the Prozac and Jack Daniels I keep on the shelf, behind my Tops-20 JSYS manuals. I start getting the shakes real bad around 10am, right before my advisor meetings. A 10 oz. Jack 'n Zac helps me get through the meetings without one of my students winding up with his severed head in a bowling-ball bag. They look at me funny; they think I twitch a lot. I'm not twitching. I'm controlling my impulse to snag my 9mm Sig-Sauer out from my day-pack and make a few strong points about the quality of undergraduate education in Amerika. If I thought anyone cared, if I thought anyone would even be reading this, I'd probably make an effort to keep up appearances until the last possible moment. But no one does, and no one will. So I can pretty much say exactly what I think. Oh, yes, the acknowledgements. I think not. I did it. I did it all, by myself.
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Dec 4, 2015 18:34
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i'm considering getting into sports
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Dec 4, 2015 18:35
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it'd give me something to talk about with people at work, and maybe even... somtehing to believe in
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Dec 4, 2015 18:36
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sometimes i cry when my sports team loses
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Dec 4, 2015 18:38
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i refer to my local sports team using the royal We
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Dec 4, 2015 18:44
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*posts full screen phone screenshots to facebook and instagram*
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Dec 4, 2015 18:52
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sometimes when i go to the gas station, i don't fill the tank up all the way
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Dec 4, 2015 18:54
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I don't know what this "bitcoin" is exactly but my son in law says i can make a huge amount of money off of it so i'm planning to spend all of my tax return on it
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Dec 4, 2015 18:54
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As a Millennial I posted:sometimes when i go to the gas station, i don't fill the tank up all the way
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Dec 4, 2015 18:59
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hell yeah blues traveler is coming to town next week!
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Dec 4, 2015 19:10
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qirex posted:*posts full screen phone screenshots to facebook and instagram*
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Dec 4, 2015 19:17
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*plans out when to use sick days*
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Dec 4, 2015 19:22
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"*cough* i'm real sick today i don't think i should come in" haha he totally bought it
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Dec 4, 2015 19:23
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i check an app on my phone to make sure i have enough money to buy something
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Dec 4, 2015 19:29
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As a Millennial I posted:i check an app on my phone to make sure i have enough money to buy something Turns out I don't. I shrug and return my phone to the passenger seat and leave the parking lot of the store I was about to enter to buy things inside of. Just another day of being a 5 Figgy FuckTard
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Dec 4, 2015 19:47
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bacon
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Dec 4, 2015 19:48
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*looking at bank balance and doing a bit of mental math* rent + cc bill + cable bill probs real soon, should be fine *bloomp, a text appears from Cindy* err, guess i should add $60 for going out with cindy. drat, gonna need to pull in next friday's check onto this months team. gently caress balls
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Dec 4, 2015 19:49
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i just don't understand why so many climate scientists fall for this global warming hoax!
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Dec 4, 2015 19:50
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qirex posted:*posts full screen phone screenshots to facebook and instagram* *100% of images posted battery is under 10%*
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Dec 4, 2015 19:53
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As a Millennial I posted:sometimes when i go to the gas station, i don't fill the tank up all the way this makes my car lighter which means i use less gas
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Dec 4, 2015 19:54
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Cat Face Joe posted:this makes my car lighter which means i use less gas fill your car in the morning when the gas is cold because thermal expansion means you get more gas for ur buck
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Dec 4, 2015 19:57
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*jiggles every last drop out of the nozzle*
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Dec 4, 2015 19:57
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Smythe posted:*looking at bank balance and doing a bit of mental math* rent + cc bill + cable bill probs real soon, should be fine *bloomp, a text appears from Cindy* err, guess i should add $60 for going out with cindy. drat, gonna need to pull in next friday's check onto this months team. gently caress balls
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Dec 4, 2015 20:05
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Smythe posted:drat, gonna need to pull in next friday's check onto this months team. gently caress balls
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Dec 4, 2015 20:05
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*holds gas hose up so i get more gas due to gravity*
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Dec 4, 2015 20:08
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Smythe posted:bloomp, a text appears from Cindy* err, guess i should add $60 for going out with cindy. drat, gonna need to pull in next friday's check onto this months team. gently caress balls
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Dec 4, 2015 20:09
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does anyone know the password to the printer wifi network? I'm almost out of data for this month (gently caress) and the regular office wifi blocks youtube and ESPN...
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Dec 4, 2015 20:10
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Smythe posted:Turns out I don't. I shrug and return my phone to the passenger seat and leave the parking lot of the store I was about to enter to buy things inside of. Just another day of being a 5 Figgy FuckTard i had to blow off this year's company trip to the pirates game because the parking lots only accepted cash
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Dec 4, 2015 20:11
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my yacht is less than 40 feet
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Dec 4, 2015 20:54
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i mispronounce "regatta"
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Dec 4, 2015 20:55
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i eat mostly carbs
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Dec 4, 2015 21:00
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i try to do better, but there aren't any vegetables in the vending machine.
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Dec 4, 2015 21:00
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As a Millennial I posted:i try to do better, but there aren't any vegetables in the vending machine. do green m&m's count?
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Dec 4, 2015 21:14
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oh i eat healthy, i drink vitamin water with my lunch
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Dec 4, 2015 21:35
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chome
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Dec 4, 2015 21:37
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i pay for porn
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Dec 4, 2015 21:38
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As a Millennial I posted:i eat mostly crabs
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Dec 4, 2015 21:40
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Barnyard Protein posted:Who should I thank? My so-called ``colleagues,'' who laugh at me behind my back, all the while becoming famous on my work? My worthless graduate students, whose computer skills appear to be limited to downloading bitmaps off of netnews? My parents, who are still waiting for me to quit ``fooling around with computers,'' go to med school, and become a radiologist? My department chairman, a manager who gives one new insight into and sympathy for disgruntled postal workers? how dare you quote olin shivers in the 5 figgy fucktard thread
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Dec 4, 2015 21:42
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| # ? May 31, 2024 06:53 |
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i compare large companies'/governments' financial activities to balancing my personal checkbook (also i own a checkbook)
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Dec 5, 2015 00:30
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