|
quote:Grimmik_WHIP bites Stumpy_CHICK in the right foot, denting the skin! You did well little Gremlin buddy. I am proud. 
|
#
?
Dec 3, 2015 20:55
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 9, 2024 23:09 |
|
|
So I guess that is two guys named Stumpy in that fight now.
|
|
|
#
?
Dec 3, 2015 23:18
|
|
|
Lightly whipped is living up to half their name. The other half is the opposite.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2015 00:46
|
|
|
Ramc posted:So I guess that is two guys named Stumpy in that fight now. I checked the combat log thinking I screwed up. 
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2015 00:51
|
|
Spermy Smurf posted:I checked the combat log thinking I screwed up. Heyoo! 
Ramc fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Dec 4, 2015 |
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2015 01:27
|
|
|
First Lowtax stabs a guy in the junk, then he shuts down the forums. I swear.
|
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2015 13:42
|
|
|
An easy victory, but I fear that next rounds fight against the Subterranean Animists will be the real test.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2015 15:53
|
|
|
 Round 5, Fight 4 Team 13: Heavyweight Horrorshow is on the left side of the arena. Here comes Mongo! (Endorph) is a male troll. He is empty handed and wears a copper helm, an iron mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather low boots. ShortName (ZeeToo) is a male molemarian. He wields a copper spear and wears a bronze helm and bronze high boots. Face (Godna) is a male troll. He wields a copper two-handed sword and wears an iron breast plate and iron greaves. Jakob (frankenfreak) is a male werewolf. He wields a copper maul and a copper maul and wears a copper helm and leather armor. Go big and/or go home is on the right side of the arena. Snowshank Redemption (A good poster) is a male yeti. He wields a copper large dagger and wears an iron mail shirt and copper greaves. Tyler Durden is Hobbes (Iunnrais) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears leather armor. 3 Wolf Moon Shirt (iLonie) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a leather cap, leather armor, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Slam Whale Willy (potatomanjack) is a male werewolf. He wields a silver mace and a wooden buckler and wears a leather cap, a copper mail shirt, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots.  Go big and/or go home is a 1.57 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 3135.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1996.00 dwarfbucks for Team 13: Heavyweight Horrorshow.  The gladiators meet in the center of the arena which seems to happen quite a lot. Snowshank the yeti takes advantage of the 2v1 against ShortName and sends his dagger into the molemans chest. Ribs, arteries, you all know the drill. Tyler Durden dives forward and makes it a 3v1 and knocks ShortName the gently caress out with a single punch. 3 Wolf Moon finally gets a second strike against the moleman and, now that he's not moving, takes advantage by sending the molemans hand flying through the air.  Don't worry Team 13, Mongo is coming to the rescue! Oops, he slipped and impales himself on SnowShank's dagger. The dagger nicks the spine and Mongo is down and paralyzed. Beautifully done, Mongo. SnowShank and 3 Wolf Moon stab him in the head a couple times and he dies having only bruised a foot by goring after he was paralyzed. That might be the worst outing by any competitor in the history of the tournament. It's a free for all when the 3 fighters turn their attention too the unconscious moleman. ShortName's time is ended by 3 Wolf Moon nearly cutting him in twain. While this has been going on: Tyler Durden has been dueling Face to a standstill. Face managed to chop Tyler Durdens arm to poo poo, but other than that it's a lot of bruising and not much else. Just as Mongo dies Slam Whale Willy finally gets a direct blow in against Face the Troll. Face's leg is fractured and he falls to the floor. So the home team has 1 gladiator slightly bruised, 1 on the floor hurt, and 2 dead. The visiting team has 4 gladiators at nearly 100% other than one decent wound to an arm.  You all know what blinking white X's mean? Hint: It's what happens when your arms get broken, and you have a dagger embedded in your stomach because suddenly it's 3v1. Jakob passes out first and Tyler Durden pops and locks the downed werewolfs joints. Face is still 1v1 with Slam Whale Willy and he manages to chop a leg nearly off of the werewolf standing above him. Slam Whale Willy slams into the ground.  It quickly turns into 4v1 again when the entire standing group leaves the unconscious Jakob alone. Face takes a dozen blows before 3 Wolf Moon stabs his head in half.  And now it's technically 4v1 but with Slam Whale Willy dragging a crippled leg behind him it's more like 3v1. Jakob lives longer than I thought he would although it's not a lot of fun for him. Slam Whale Willy finally crawls over and smushes his head. Go Big and/or Go Home wins with an easy 4-0 victory. Kills: Snowshank Redemption: 1 3 Wolf Moon Shirt: 2 Slam Whale Willy: 1 Combat Log
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2015 19:44
|
|
|
Evenly matched on paper, but the Arena isn't made out of paper. 3 Wolf Moon is now on 6 kills.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2015 19:58
|
|
|
I knew the big guys would win. 
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2015 20:33
|
|
|
mongo is a credit to his team
|
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2015 05:22
|
|
|
Wait wait wait...Did Face just actually manage to be useful to his team during that match?
|
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2015 17:15
|
|
The dick shot is kind of burying the other story from the fight before last:"I TOLD YOU I WAS HARD CORE" posted:Jupis_WHIP lashes Bo_CHICK in the neck with his silver whip, bruising the muscle and tearing the upper spine's nervous tissue! Why do humans and elf builds do anything BUT bite when human-sized jaws are so obviously OP? NERF IMMEDIATELY.
|
|
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2015 18:36
|
|
|
Unless there are at least three votes against it in the next 24 hours, I'd like to award GreyPowerVan a bonus of 1000 dwarfbucks for managing the first fighter to ever have been emasculated in the arena. As for LorrdErnie the manager of our forums' own namesake Richard Kyanka, being the first fighter to ever inflict such a gelding injury in the arena, all I can say is, shame on you.  It's a good thing that here in Dwarfhalla, ALL wounds are healed before the next match.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 01:16
|
|
|
Jazzimus Prime posted:Unless there are at least three votes against it in the next 24 hours, I'd like to award GreyPowerVan a bonus of 1000 dwarfbucks for managing the first fighter to ever have been emasculated in the arena. Thanks...  Ramc posted:The dick shot is kind of burying the other story from the fight before last: How the gently caress are you biting with a broken neck and spine 
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 01:25
|
|
|
GreyPowerVan posted:Thanks... Jaw muscles. If Three Gremlins hadn't tried to murder-eat after getting his spine broken in his second fight I would have been most disappointed.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 03:44
|
|
|
Jazzimus Prime posted:It's a good thing that here in Dwarfhalla, ALL wounds are healed before the next match. Can't heal his injured pride.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 03:49
|
|
|
I'd be upset if he didn't get some sort of compensation.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 03:51
|
|
|
AJ_Impy posted:Jaw muscles. If Three Gremlins hadn't tried to murder-eat after getting his spine broken in his second fight I would have been most disappointed. I know, it just seems absurd. Like people who have lost both of their arms still headbutting things. I feel like the blood loss would be catastrophic and would lead to weakness pretty quick..
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 04:04
|
|
|
GreyPowerVan posted:I know, it just seems absurd. Like people who have lost both of their arms still headbutting things. I feel like the blood loss would be catastrophic and would lead to weakness pretty quick.. This reminds me of when me and my friends used to play the tabletop RPG EON (made in Sweden, not sure if it's known internationally.) That game has, instead of the normal hit point system, a system that calculates fatigue, trauma, and bloodloss, and it is fairly complex. The first time we played we didn't quite understand how this system worked, and we ended up having battles where people would shrug off losing limbs and breaking bones. It was so fun we kept playing like that even after we learned the rules properly. 
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 04:23
|
|
|
Jazzimus Prime posted:Unless there are at least three votes against it in the next 24 hours, I'd like to award GreyPowerVan a bonus of 1000 dwarfbucks for managing the first fighter to ever have been emasculated in the arena. I deserve a reward.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 04:35
|
|
|
LorrdErnie posted:I deserve a reward. Very well, your fighter's Dwarfhalla apartment now has a display case above the fireplace showing off the McGannel family jewels. The website doesn't show this just yet, but I'm working on it.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 05:01
|
|
|
Jazzimus Prime posted:Unless there are at least three votes against it in the next 24 hours, I'd like to award GreyPowerVan a bonus of 1000 dwarfbucks for managing the first fighter to ever have been emasculated in the arena.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 05:24
|
|
|
Pickled Tink posted:As an opponent to fun, I say nay! Give him a loincloth to hide his shame! Agreed
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 06:51
|
|
|
Golden loincloth.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 08:35
|
|
|
Tunicate posted:Golden loincloth. Made of golden cats.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 08:36
|
|
|
And if we can add skill ranks, give him some free permanent ranks in something suitably Like "Crutch-walker" or "Bone doctor". Naturally LorrdErnie should be a Professional Gem Cutter
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 08:51
|
|
|
Tunicate posted:Golden loincloth. Codpiece maybe?
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 17:16
|
|
|
Tunicate posted:Naturally LorrdErnie should be a Professional Gem Cutter Three ranks in Surgeon.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 19:19
|
|
|
Or a strangler leather cap.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 22:05
|
|
|
Klokwurk posted:Or a strangler leather cap. With humorous hairy "mickey mouse" ears.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2015 22:11
|
|
|
Round 5, Fight 7  A furry, a farmer, and two cows is on the left side of the arena. Goku (Galick) is a male tigerman. He wields a silver war hammer and wears a leather cap, leather armor, a copper mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Dontellim Pike (John Charity Spring) is a male human. He wields an iron pike and wears an iron helm, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Min/Maxotaur (Anchors) is a female minotaur. She wields a wooden buckler and wears a copper helm, a copper mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, a copper breast plate, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Rob Ford (Tirius) is a male minotaur. He wields a silver war hammer and a wooden shield and wears a copper helm, an iron mail shirt, iron leggings, and iron low boots. Team Laser Explosion is on the right side of the arena. Anthony (dasmause) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots. Mogwai (Dark Off) is a female gremlin. She wields two iron bucklers and wears no armor. Molegrim (Maugrim) is a male molemarian. He wields a copper spear and wears a bronze helm and leather gauntlets. Turquoise Tonic (Hihohe) is a male human. He wields a silver mace and wears a copper cap, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather low boots. Team Laser Explosion is a 1.20 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 8578.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 7146.00 dwarfbucks for A furry, a farmer, and two cows. So only one person on each team remembered to bring "something sharp" to a fight to the death. Good job, guys, these two teams really justify the fifteen thousand dwarfbucks of betting placed on them.  Pretty even advance. Mogwai fends off Pike and Min/Max, slams an iron plate on Pike's foot, bruising it, then swings the other buckler to bruise Goku. She's all over the place. Finally, first blood. Tonic maces Rob in the chest, crushing ribs. The minotaur flattens Mogwai in response, tackling her to the ground.  These screenshots are more than usually confusing. Two humans, two minotaurs, two tigers... Largely it really doesn't; the matchups are shifting and not telling. This fight is off to a slow start. There's a lot of bruising and defense and suchlike. Finally, Mogwai tries to sneak up on Pike, but he sees her coming and pikes her leg. Second blood. She bruises his arm in response. This is why someone had to bring actual weaponstm. She whacks Rob Ford. The Canadian minotaur will not tolerate this. Red flashes in his eyes, and froth begins to drip from his lips. A berserker rage comes over him. It has no measurable effect, mind, but he's really lost his temper. Meanwhile, Molegrim has caught Pike by the leg, and is shaking him around, which is actually hurting him. Worse, Tonic dealt him a spine-severing blow. Pike is not looking good, and I'm not sure if anyone else on the farming team can even hope to bring down the mole. Inexplicably, Pike decides his best move is stabbing Mogwai. Everyone hates Mogwai today, it seems. Worse, she's lost a buckler. That's half her arsenal! For whatever that's worth.  Molegrim stabs Goku, tearing much of his arm to pieces. To be honest... this still isn't finishing the fight. No one is that badly hurt yet. Mogwai is probably the worst, and she's still pretty game. Anthony takes a bruising neck shot from Min/Max and a broken bone from Goku. Okay, maybe he's got it worst now. Can someone die or puke or something dramatic? Oh, good, Molegrim heard me. Off flies a body part! It was Goku's ring finger. Now we can't tell if he's married. Min/Max, who's clearly more about the first part of her name, stumbles into Goku, who curses, stunned by the impact. Then Molegrim puts a spear through his boot. This whole "actual stab" strategy overpowers him, and Goku falls over, fainting dead away. Finally, progress! Speaking of sharp objects, it looks like Pike has stabbed Mogwai in the leg again. Other leg, though. Meanwhile, Tonic hits Rob Ford in the chest and the minotaur is down, as well. Even unconscious, his unearthly rage continues. The fight is still less uneven than it looks. Laser Explosion seem pretty badly positioned to actually capitalize on this and finish off their foes, and Mogwai is in poor shape herself.  Very gradually, blood has covered the floor. Everyone is getting very slowly ground down. It's like they're all facing a very slow sandblaster, on both sides. Pike stabs Mogwai's lower limbs again. For an idea of the injuries I'm glossing over, Min/Max successfully bruises Molegrim's arm. Goku's and Rob Ford's skulls are also getting multiply fractured from several attacks from multiple attackers, but they're not dead. No one is! They never will be. Running this fight is my hell.  Oh, maybe not. Tonic finally kills Rob Ford. That's the game's first kill. Molegrim also finally catches Pike in the hand, and the pike drops. That's probably victory for the away team. Eventually.  Everyone's still tightly clumped. Two people are stunned, one unconscious. Pike bites Molegrim, but he's no elf. Molegrim merely lines up and stabs him through the shin, then shakes off the human. Finally, eventually, the unthinkably tenacious Mogwai hits Pike, and the bruise on his thigh is too much pain. He gives in to it, whimpering. Good job. Molegrim stabs Pike a lethal blow to the heart. Next up is Goku. He starts suffering head stabs. He recovers from his pain, only to pass out again seconds later. Anthony punches teeth out of Min/Max. Tonic lands the actual killing blow on Goku. Only Min/Max remains. And, haha, Min/Max isn't going to kill four people with a wooden shield.  Not with his teeth flying everywhere like that. Anthony punches Min/Max into blessed unawareness. Tonic crushes his skull.  One tooth is still in the air, one Z-level up and on its way out of the arena. I'm actually somewhat surprised that the date didn't change during this fight. Final Score A furry, a farmer, and two cows: 0 Team Laser Explosion: 4 Kills Molegrim: 1 Turquoise Tonic: 3 Combat Log
|
|
#
?
Dec 7, 2015 04:13
|
|
|
GreyPowerVan posted:How the gently caress are you biting with a broken neck and spine Diamond Bo don't let a little quadriparesis get him down, man
|
|
#
?
Dec 7, 2015 04:35
|
|
|
"Just lame it out, like its cross-Tekken" (c)
|
|
#
?
Dec 7, 2015 05:17
|
|
|
Basically Josie, Bo and Uma Thurman are looking at tooth product sponsorships. Also wow, what a slapfight.
|
|
|
#
?
Dec 7, 2015 05:35
|
|
|
I am disappointing in the cows. Boo moo!
|
|
#
?
Dec 7, 2015 05:46
|
|
|
Welcome to the skull smash Dimension! Im your host, Turqouise Tonic!
|
|
#
?
Dec 7, 2015 05:52
|
|
|
Hihohe posted:Welcome to the skull smash Dimension! Im your host, Turqouise Tonic! We'll just have to see how he fares against the FARTSTORM when the two meet. Though, I'm more worried about our upcoming match; it looks like my favorite elf is going up against the Subterranean Animists. 
|
|
#
?
Dec 7, 2015 05:59
|
|
Pittsburgh Lambic posted:We'll just have to see how he fares against the FARTSTORM when the two meet. It feels like there are a lot of smash elves this tourney. I hope they do well, but mostly I hope mine does best.
|
|
|
#
?
Dec 7, 2015 06:08
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 9, 2024 23:09 |
|
|
Turquoise Tonic joins the hallowed 7-kill second tier, A Furry, Farmer and two cows wallow in the mire of patheticness alongside Lightly Whipped on two kills, no wins.
|
|
#
?
Dec 7, 2015 09:21
|
|