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Snapchat A Titty posted:It's hilarious, and sad. Both imo. Googled that quote. Wikiquote says there's no actual proof Hesiod ever said that... is it a hoax? Edit: Interesting. A similar quote was supposedly Socrates'... and that one might have originated in 1907. http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/01/misbehaving-children-in-ancient-times/ Carbon dioxide has a new favorite as of 21:30 on Dec 6, 2015 |
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Dec 6, 2015 21:23
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Carbon dioxide posted:Googled that quote. Wikiquote says there's no actual proof Hesiod ever said that... is it a hoax? Well at least the comic itself is 100 years old.
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Dec 6, 2015 21:32
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D'oh!
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Dec 7, 2015 00:59
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It's also interesting to realize just how completely unthinkable those images would be in a modern Christian text. Giant dripping saintly phalli, fart trumpets and dick picking nuns are, to put it mildly, inappropriate illustrations for a morally uplifting religious document. Parodying religion is seen as insulting: by portraying it as a bad and/or silly thing you are implying that the parodied subject itself is silly and bad. Also boners and pussies are lustful, and lust is bad, therefore they must not be portrayed. In Late Medieval times humor was used very differently. Reversal of the natural order of things was a very common theme, and parodies were used to show just how silly and bad anything but the parodied subject was. The penis badges invert the regular message of pilgrim badges (worship God above all, pursue a pious life) by showing men putting the pussy on a pedestal and women chasing after wheelbarrows of dick, but the intended message stays the same. The contrast between a text about the Heavenly Kingdom and poop-slinging monkeys in the margins underlines the purity of Heaven compared to Earth. A monk with a giant boner is ridiculous, which reminds you that monks pursue a pious life without earthly pleasures. They were definitely still intended to be funny in their rudeness, you're supposed to go "hahaha that's so gross, who would chase after cocks if you could chase after Jesus!" Another expression of the reversal of natural order theme: animals doing human stuff!    
PiratePing has a new favorite as of 12:39 on Dec 7, 2015 |
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Dec 7, 2015 12:25
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Suddenly, Terry Gilliam's animations make a lot more sense.
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Dec 7, 2015 16:01
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Henrik Ibsen the playwright and Leo Tolstoy the author were contemporaries and fans of each other's work, although they never corresponded or met in person. Neither of them spoke a word of the other's native language, although they could both read and speak German, which is how they experienced one another's works. Ibsen's last play was called When We Dead Awaken, and Tolstoy once remarked in a letter to a colleague why Ibsen had chosen such a clunky title. Unbeknownst to Tolstoy, Ibsen's original title choice was Resurrection, but he changed it when he discovered that Tolstoy had picked the same name for his book, also his last.
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Dec 7, 2015 16:37
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iirc in Medieval Europe religion also just encompassed so much more of any person's daily culture and what they would see/hear/read. The bible might be one of the only books that you'd ever seen, apart from maybe a ledger. I think if you look at it like that it makes more sense that there'd be a lot more (both in volume and variety) entertainment within religious materials in those days. Modern American/European Christians look like they're treating their religion a lot more seriously, but that's only because they can get their dick jokes somewhere else, you know? Also to follow up whoever mentioned monkeys killing each other with knives, the english respond to discovering new and exciting animals by seeing how good they are at killing dogs. Featuring Jacco Maccacco, "a celebrated monkey" that got really good at it. Red Bones has a new favorite as of 16:53 on Dec 7, 2015 |
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Dec 7, 2015 16:47
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Poor Jacco Macacco the fighting monkey, killed by a dog with an ironic name:quote:Jacco had finished off fourteen dogs in a row, but then he was challenged by a canine named Puss, who had a similar record. Puss suffered a lacerated neck and Jacco had his jaw torn off, both died shortly after the match. Rest in peace little buddy.
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Dec 7, 2015 19:54
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The Mentalizer posted:Poor Jacco Macacco the fighting monkey, killed by a dog with an ironic name: This would be like if Rocky and Drago died at the end of the fight.
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Dec 7, 2015 23:38
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Solice Kirsk posted:This would be like if Rocky and Drago died at the end of the fight. Yeah but only if drago had to fight and kill 14 other boxers in a row first
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Dec 8, 2015 00:13
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Creed was basically 14 boxers
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Dec 8, 2015 00:33
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It said the dig had a similar record. So maybe that dog had killed 14 monkeys already.
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Dec 8, 2015 02:29
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The English once hanged a monkey for being a French spy.
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Dec 8, 2015 04:31
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Molentik posted:The English once hanged a monkey for being a French spy. You sure he wasn't just a Frenchman?
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Dec 8, 2015 04:33
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Molentik posted:The English once hanged a monkey for being a French spy. This isn't exactly ancient history but http://www.israelandstuff.com/saudi-arabia-detains-3rd-israeli-bird-as-possible-mossad-spy
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Dec 8, 2015 04:36
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Tiberius Thyben posted:You sure he wasn't just a Frenchman? If I'm remembering correctly it may have actually been a French kid. A "powder monkey" or something.
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Dec 8, 2015 04:41
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Solice Kirsk posted:If I'm remembering correctly it may have actually been a French kid. A "powder monkey" or something. That could indeed be true. A quick search on Google on the subject lead me to this which I find quite hilarious quote:In 2002, Stuart Drummond campaigned for the office of Mayor of Hartlepool in the costume of HAngus the Monkey and narrowly won; he used the election slogan free bananas for schoolchildren, a promise he was unable to keep. He has since been re-elected twice.
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Dec 8, 2015 04:47
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syscall girl posted:This isn't exactly ancient history but If Israel were trying to use the birds as spies why have they got tags saying they're from Israel on them. Seems kind of counterproductive to being a spy. Plus they're birds, so they're not exactly reliable spies in the first place.
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Dec 8, 2015 13:22
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Slime posted:If Israel were trying to use the birds as spies why have they got tags saying they're from Israel on them. Seems kind of counterproductive to being a spy. Plus they're birds, so they're not exactly reliable spies in the first place. They were probably "spies" in the same way that fire can be a "bomb." "well, here's a force of nature, let's try and get it to do our bidding and focus it into this-- oops"
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Dec 8, 2015 13:41
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Wenseslao Moguel fought in the Mexican Revolution for Pancho Villa, but was captured and executed by firing squad. After being shot by 9 rifles, the officer in command of the squad shot him in the head with a pistol at close range to make sure he was dead. He then crawled away, recovered, and lived a long and happy life. This gives us the most upbeat song about getting shot ever, by the only anarchist collective to get a british top 10 hit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05j25PHA7l8
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Dec 8, 2015 14:12
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Alhazred posted:Five famous royal mistresses: You missed the best of all: Madame de Maintenon (1635-1719) Her life reads like a romance novel. Born in poverty, she used her wit, education and looks to move up in society by making herself useful to powerful people. Eventually she became governess of Louis XIV's bastard children. She also became his mistress at some point. When the Queen suddenly died, Louis married her in secret. The marriage was hidden from everyone; even Louis' brother only found out about it by surprising them in bed. She lived as the uncrowned Queen of France until Louis' death in 1715, then retired to a convent. She's been the subject of several books, but the only movie about her is a French TV one.
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Dec 8, 2015 15:39
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Khazar-khum posted:You missed the best of all: Madame de Maintenon (1635-1719) There's an even better one, Catherine I of Russia, born a Polish peasant secretly married to Peter the Great, and then admitted to openly years later. Czar of Russia for three years following his death. She campaigned with him, travelled with him, and cared for him when he was an epileptic, rage filled mess, and even put up with his very un-Russian love of boats.
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Dec 8, 2015 18:34
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While we're talking about Russian rulers, Olga of Kiev was my favorite. quote:The following account is taken from the Primary Chronicle. Princess Olga was the wife of Igor of Kiev, who was killed by the Drevlians. At the time of her husband's death, their son Svyatoslav was three years old, making Olga the official ruler of Kievan Rus until he reached adulthood. The Drevlians wanted Olga to marry their Prince Mal, making him the ruler of Kievan Rus, but Olga was determined to remain in power and preserve it for her son.  edit: oh yeah, she was later sainted by the Russian Orthodox Church. Which is why she looks so saintly in that painting, I suppose. Lord Lambeth has a new favorite as of 20:17 on Dec 8, 2015 |
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Dec 8, 2015 20:10
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They hosed with the wrong Lady. 
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Dec 8, 2015 20:13
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Top Marriage Proposal FAILS
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Dec 8, 2015 20:18
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You can't talk about Olga of Kiev without posting this as gently caress painting 
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Dec 8, 2015 20:31
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Lord Lambeth posted:While we're talking about Russian rulers, Olga of Kiev was my favorite. Commissar Canuck posted:You can't talk about Olga of Kiev without posting this Hahaha. Holy poo poo. Now, at some point, that stopped being a woman protecting her family and became a woman using her husband's death as a flimsy excuse to become Vlad the Impaler. Phyzzle posted:Top Marriage Proposal FAILS Almost choked on my lunch reading this post. Now my office neighbors think I'm crazy. I mean, they're right, but now they know.
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Dec 8, 2015 20:42
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Commissar Canuck posted:You can't talk about Olga of Kiev without posting this I want this and the story tattooed on me.
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Dec 8, 2015 20:48
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Commissar Canuck posted:You can't talk about Olga of Kiev without posting this This looks like the female version of Vigo, just in time for the new lady reboot of Ghostbusters.
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Dec 8, 2015 20:51
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Eponine posted:This looks like the female version of Vigo, just in time for the new lady reboot of Ghostbusters. 
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Dec 8, 2015 20:55
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Speaking of Kievan queens, I always liked Anna of Kiev because she was disgusted by the illiteracy and (lack of) hygiene among the French nobility. If I recall correctly, she was also disappointed that there were only three courses at her wedding banquet. She was a classy lady who bathed, spoke a ton of languages, and did a decent job ruling France after Henry I died.
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Dec 8, 2015 21:22
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Why on Earth would you keep doing the things she asked you to do?!?
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Dec 8, 2015 21:33
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Lockback posted:Why on Earth would you keep doing the things she asked you to do?!? Because surely a woman wouldn't be clever enough to come up with even more murderous schemes!
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Dec 8, 2015 21:39
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Railing Kill posted:Hahaha. Holy poo poo. Now, at some point, that stopped being a woman protecting her family and became a woman using her husband's death as a flimsy excuse to become Vlad the Impaler.  I'll take a wild guess and say those aren't pearls, they're the teeth of her enemies.
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Dec 8, 2015 22:16
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Lockback posted:Why on Earth would you keep doing the things she asked you to do?!? Da lady just likes pretty birdies.  (Yeah, I have no idea, either. The Drevlians were apparently led by Wile E. Coyote. Maybe her plan to kill all of their smart people first worked...) Comrade Koba posted:
Hey, bebe. drat, girl. How you doi-- OH GOD STOP KILLING ME AND EVERYONE I KNOW Olga of Kiev's bird scheme reminds me of the American "Bat Bomb" in WWII. The idea was to drop canisters full of live bats on Japanese cities. The canister would touch off a flame just as it opened, so if it worked properly, you would have hundreds of bats, on fire, flying up on instinct into eaves for miles around. This was intended for maximum destruction of mostly wooden Japanese cities, spreading fire in a wide area and in a way that was difficult to put out. It was a plan that combined a comically unnecessary amount of cruelty toward both animals and civilians! It was never implemented. (But the developers did gently caress up and burn down a testing facility in New Mexico. Hey, proof of concept!)
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Dec 9, 2015 01:02
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Lord Lambeth posted:While we're talking about Russian rulers, Olga of Kiev was my favorite. Not to be a buzz kill but, since there might be some interesting facts here anyways, she probably did not do those things exactly as written. The Christian monks who wrote about her well after the fact likely wanted to contrast her earlier pagan life, literally viking Norse or something very close, with that her of later Christian life after her conversion. In particular the monks who wrote the account were being supported by rulers of the Rurikid dynasty, the dynasty to which Olga belonged, and they wrote more broadly of the dynasty's history. This account features some (likely) polite fictions about the dynasty like the original native slavic and finnic peoples of the region peacefully requesting that Rurik, the foreign viking war-chief who would found the dynasty, become their overlord because they needed a neutral outsider who would treat everyone fairly without vested interests and thus resolve the ages old blood feuds and bring an new age of prosperity. Their account probably has some errors in the monks' own fact checking as well (e.g. using the provided birthdays and dates Olga had her first child when she was over 50) since they compiled together what was essentially part oral history, part legend at this point. Alright let's go over a couple details with this in mind. The people Olga buried alive were written being carried into the city on top of lifted boats, they thought this gesture from Olga was meant to be an honor bestowed upon them but little did they know that the viking burial rite prominently features boats as tombs (either aflame or buried into mounds). They were all thrown into a ditch and buried alive. This type of foreshadowing, Olga doing something that a Norse person might correctly interpret but an outsider wouldn't, will be common throughout the story. IIRC The people Olga torched were also carried in by boats but were ultimately killed by fire inside a bathhouse. Later on Olga generously offered an incredible Viking-style feast with booze, in honor of her late husband, to a group of 5,000 who interpreted this as a friendly gesture not knowing that at viking funerals for very important people there would be copious human sacrifice made in the deceased's honor. All 5,000 would be this sacrifice, each one of them drunk into a stupor and easily killed. Lastly Olga originally got the pigeons and sparrows for her incendiary trick from a town she laid siege too - her request seemed odd at first "all this insane lady wants from us after the siege is 3 pigeons and 3 sparrows from every house? yeah okay I'm in" but little did they know that birds are very strongly associated with Odin (ravens in particular feature prominently in Norse iconography and other legends like the one of the Raven Banner) and that Olga would use this gift to unleash Odin's knowledge and power over the Derevlians in a fiery blaze. You can see where the monks probably did some Norse-themed embellishments for their account, either as an conscious effort towards what we'd call dynasty propaganda or as an unconscious effort by reporting legends as truths (lots of medieval historians did that so it wouldn't be unusual) or probably a bit of both. That's not saying the whole thing is a fiction - other sources confirm that Olga's husband was grotesquely killed by the Derevlians when he was out extracting tribute from them and that Olga did exact a military reprisal on those responsible, now forcing the Derevlians to accept regular taxation as opposed to irregular tribute upon victory, which resulted in financial stability for the realm (a stability further enhanced by her conversion to Christianity to maintain better trade links to nearby Byzantium) but there's not much outside corroboration for the flashier parts of the story. Doesn't make Olga any less of a pro-tier medieval ruler though  That being said, it's still nice to imagine that Olga enacted an elaborate Viking Funeral-themed vengeance scheme upon some fools, once upon a time 
hard counter has a new favorite as of 06:37 on Dec 10, 2015 |
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Dec 9, 2015 10:32
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hard counter posted:Not to be a buzz kill but... Don't spoil our fun!
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Dec 9, 2015 10:54
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My favorite historical fact is that time when God killed almost everyone with a flood. poo poo was pretty crazy back then. (although I'm being smartass, that Olga legend was actually fun and interesting) Kennel has a new favorite as of 11:24 on Dec 9, 2015 |
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Dec 9, 2015 11:21
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The legend would also require the Drevlians to be dumber than a sack of bricks. “What's that, our ambassadors to Lady Olga whose husband we've killed brutally never returned? Oh, must've been a coincidence. Why does she wish to host our best and brightest now? She's just a swell person, obviously. Oh, those thousands of people never returned as well? Too strange. And now this lady who's shown nothing but goodwill towards us wants a couple of birds per household, birds which are known to fly back, and she's massing troops around our villages? Looks quite normal to me!“ 
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Dec 9, 2015 11:41
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System Metternich posted:The legend would also require the Drevlians to be dumber than a sack of bricks. “What's that, our ambassadors to Lady Olga whose husband we've killed brutally never returned? Oh, must've been a coincidence. Why does she wish to host our best and brightest now? She's just a swell person, obviously. Oh, those thousands of people never returned as well? Too strange. And now this lady who's shown nothing but goodwill towards us wants a couple of birds per household, birds which are known to fly back, and she's massing troops around our villages? Looks quite normal to me!“ To be fair, they could've thought nothing of her since she was a woman with a boy too young to be a threat to them (or so they thought). This story is definitely embellished, but it's awesome and I don't think it needs a careful analysis of what is fact and what is fiction. Just enjoy it for what it is.
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